I want to play quarterback for a Super Bowl winning team, but that ain't happening either.
No one here is torturing you but yourself. As I said I am sorry to hear you are in the position you're in, but you're beyond delusional here.
Unfortunately your educational record is terrible. Failure to complete 3 different medical schools. Failure to pass Step 2CK, and a hell of a difficult time passing the other Step exams.
Worse yet, you come across as someone who takes very little (if any) responsibility for any of your actions. You may have had some unfortunate twists and turns, but you've made bad decision after bad decision and want to blame everyone but yourself.
You have spent over two decades "trying to match." What on God's green earth has led you to believe that your chances have been going up this whole time?
Please find peace in some other endeavor.