rich parents... a blessing and a curse

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TheProwler said:


Please. I'm sure you're enjoying your pity party, but spare the rest of us. Life is not so bad. 🙄

For the record, my parents could certainly afford to send some money my way, but they don't. At all. If you have a better solution, please let us know.
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I was never asking for pity. What I was doing was responding to the below post, which was condescending to say the least- esp the part about mommy and daddy consoling them with cash. I really don't understand why it is OK to bash people simply for saying it is unfair to have to report your parental income, if your parents are not giving you a dime. I am 28, live on my own, work a full time job and have for years, went to a state school (not a private school), do not have an inheritance, and never went on trips to Tahoe and Cancun as everyone else is implying. I think everyone just needs to relax on this forum and stop jumping down people's throats all the time.

It is a crappy situation, but when I am eating bean burritos even with tons of institutional aid from Duke and half of my classmates are living waaaay above my means, I don't feel so bad anymore. At least they have mommy and daddy to console them with cash...
 
Crazy4F1 said:
i know you've been pretty much bashed to pieces on this thread, but i do kind of have to agree with the sentiment. at a cost of 250K+ for med school, we all have "financial need". my parents make a lot of money too, and i'm not getting a cent of it for med school. to me, i'm just another ramen-noodle-eating, unbelievably-in-debt med student to be, and i dont see why my parents income should have anything to do with it if i'm really an "independent".
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That's just the point....WE ALL NEED FINANCIAL AID. There's not that much to go around. So who do you give it to....those with or without a safety net? or just based on merit? I don't understand all these threads about people freaking out over taking out loans as if they're the only ones in that unique position.

Yes, there is that small minority who gets a full ride to medical school. Yes, the rest of us (the majority) who take out loans will have to live below our means in comparison to those lucky few, think it sucks. Yes, we all wish we had a full-ride to medical school.
 
GreenShirt said:
That's just the point....WE ALL NEED FINANCIAL AID. There's not that much to go around. So who do you give it to....those with or without a safety net? or just based on merit? I don't understand all these threads about people freaking out over taking out loans as if they're the only ones in that unique position.

Yes, there is that small minority who gets a full ride to medical school. Yes, the rest of us (the majority) who take out loans will have to live below our means in comparison to those lucky few, think it sucks. Yes, we all wish we had a full-ride to medical school.
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if we all need aid, why not just hand it out equally? just because my parents dont have need, doesnt mean i dont. it isnt their education, after all. it's mine. any "safety net" money i get from my parents i will have to pay them back as soon as i can (they require this already on anything i've ever borrowed from them). so isnt that just an interest free loan? (and my mom's nagging more than makes up for the interest! believe me!) am i really that much better off?
 
GreenShirt said:
Yes, there is that small minority who gets a full ride to medical school. Yes, the rest of us (the majority) who take out loans will have to live below our means in comparison to those lucky few, think it sucks. Yes, we all wish we had a full-ride to medical school.
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Yep indeedy. I find it ironic the only person I know who got a full ride to medical school also happens to be the wealthiest person I know. His parents wouldn't notice if $200,000 went missing at all. Go figure. 🙄
 
Crazy4F1 said:
if we all need aid, why not just hand it out equally? just because my parents dont have need, doesnt mean i dont. it isnt their education, after all. it's mine. any "safety net" money i get from my parents i will have to pay them back as soon as i can (they require this already on anything i've ever borrowed from them). so isnt that just an interest free loan? (and my mom's nagging more than makes up for the interest! believe me!) am i really that much better off?
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If they handed it out equally everyone would get a couple thousand. A drop in the bucket, but it helps a little.

Even though, you have to pay your mom back, the point is that you can go to your mom and have her give you money. There are people out there who can't do that b/c their parents literally have no money to give them...those are the people who get the aid. There are students who literally have no safety, not b/c their parents want them to be independent, but b/c their parents have like $200 in their pocket.

Don't feel bitter b/c you'll have to eat Ramen and bean burritos in med school....plenty of your classmates are going to be right there alongside you.

You guys in the MD crowd are lucky, you have more options with in-state tuition and institutional aid. For us in the DO crowd, those options are pretty much non-existent.
 
Crazy4F1 said:
i know you've been pretty much bashed to pieces on this thread, but i do kind of have to agree with the sentiment. at a cost of 250K+ for med school, we all have "financial need". my parents make a lot of money too, and i'm not getting a cent of it for med school. to me, i'm just another ramen-noodle-eating, unbelievably-in-debt med student to be, and i dont see why my parents income should have anything to do with it if i'm really an "independent".
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So if you can give 10 students a partial scholarship based on need, how would you go about doling them out?
 
ssquared said:
Yep indeedy. I find it ironic the only person I know who got a full ride to medical school also happens to be the wealthiest person I know. His parents wouldn't notice if $200,000 went missing at all. Go figure. 🙄
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It may well have been merit-based. Some schools are willing (and have the wherewithal) to throw lots of cash at students that they really want to attend their school.
 
GreenShirt said:
Even though, you have to pay your mom back, the point is that you can go to your mom and have her give you money. There are people out there who can't do that b/c their parents literally have no money to give them...those are the people who get the aid. There are students who literally have no safety, not b/c their parents want them to be independent, but b/c their parents have like $200 in their pocket.
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I really don't get how this is so hard to understand. I applied as a disadvantaged student, my father died when I was 10 and my mom is disabled (for psychiatric reasons) and lives on social security in public housing. I've been on my own since I was 17 due to her psychiatric issues. My "big" disadvantaged scholarship saves me 6k/year, meaning a grand total of 24K. I will still owe 130K for medschool (yay for state school) and 40K for UG (where I had a merit scholarship). The only reason I'm not still eating ramen noodles is because my husband is working while I'm in medschool. Its not like I'm living large or anything off my disadvantaged scholarship, and I'll still owe 170K when I'm done with this process.
 
TheProwler said:
It may well have been merit-based. Some schools are willing (and have the wherewithal) to throw lots of cash at students that they really want to attend their school.
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It is merit-based. But that money would go to more good helping somebody less fortunate than this guy. Hec, he doesn't even want to go to that particular school, but he got rejected everywhere else. But I'm sure there's another kid in his entering class that would absolutely love to have that money and desparately wants to go to that school.
 
I'm a little surprised at the amount everyone is listing as undergrad debt. I had $14K when I graduated and I didn't go to a state school. (tuition plus room and board were something like $17K a year.) Obviously I had grants and scholarships, but I definitely didn't have a full ride.

And concerning my previous post. Although it sort of stinks to be so close to be considered disadvantaged and yet I am not, (so close to having substantially less debt in more way than one) I really don't feel disadvantaged. I feel blessed. I'm in med school, something I wouldn't have dreamed of when growing up.
Concerning the issue of parents who can help you out if you need it, even my parents, making $36K a year were able to loan me $2K for a down payment on a car when our previous car was totaled this winter. And I'm sure that if it comes down to it, my parents won't let my children go starving and naked either. If it was necessary, they'd help out. Stuff like that (car accident, medical emergency, etc) will probably happen during school, and those who are not disadvantaged will have someone to help them in emergency. Those who really don't have anyone to help them deserve help from elsewhere.
 
jmart said:
If your parents aren't helping you and pay and you are an independent I think you should get need based if you meet the requirements. My dad is a doctor and they have no offered to pay for med school, I was hoping I could get something. I guess I can't now, I don't understand that.
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Soo if Bill Gates' children are told "hey, you have to pay for grad school on your own,' they should receive as much need based aid as Joe Schmo from a working class family? Does that make any sense? When rich people decide not to pay for the child's education, a choice is involved. With middle class and working class families, many of us cannot even make that choice. We just don't have the money. Therefore, yes, I think medical schools should ask for parental data, so they can properly ascertain whether this kid has any possibly available resources to finance their education. And yes, if your parents are making big bucks, then they should help you finance your education. If they choose not to (which I think is pretty ****ty if they can afford to), then sorry, but that doesn't mean that you should be able to use up the aid dollars if your family does not need it.
 
gujuDoc said:
Yeah I see your points, but what about those cases where parents have money but are not willing to help their children out and hence though the kids come from money they don't really have money?
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Sorry, that's a family issue that needs to be discussed by the family, not by the finaid office.
 
jmart said:
If your parents aren't helping you and pay and you are an independent I think you should get need based if you meet the requirements. My dad is a doctor and they have no offered to pay for med school, I was hoping I could get something. I guess I can't now, I don't understand that.
Click to expand...

Soo if Bill Gates' children are told "hey, you have to pay for grad school on your own,' they should receive as much need based aid as Joe Schmo from a working class family? Does that make any sense? When rich people decide not to pay for the child's education, a choice is involved. With middle class and working class families, many of us cannot even make that choice. We just don't have the money. Therefore, yes, I think medical schools should ask for parental data, so they can properly ascertain whether this kid has any possibly available resources to finance their education. And yes, if your parents are making big bucks, then they should help you finance your education. If they choose not to (which I think is pretty ****ty if they can afford to), then sorry, but that doesn't mean that you should be able to use up the aid dollars if your family does not need it.
 
The other thing most people are mentioning is this whole "proving" your independence thing. Otherwise most people no matter how much their parents planned to help them would claim they were 'independent' just to get aid.

Most schools seem to let you appeal to not include parental info and if it seems justified they excuse it. But most people can't really prove they're independent. Because no matter how independent they feel (no cash) they probably still get a lot from mom and dad (their car, their car insurance, their phone, just to name a few that often get paid for by parents and students take for granted).
 
lilnoelle said:
I'm a little surprised at the amount everyone is listing as undergrad debt. I had $14K when I graduated and I didn't go to a state school. (tuition plus room and board were something like $17K a year.) Obviously I had grants and scholarships, but I definitely didn't have a full ride.
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Alot of UG private schools are very expensive. Mine was 27K/year just for tuition, I had a scholarship that covered that and took out 9k/year for living expenses in loans. A friend of mine went to a school that was 32K/year and did it entirely on loans (private included of course)!!!
 
TheProwler said:
So if you can give 10 students a partial scholarship based on need, how would you go about doling them out?
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equally. who am i as a third party to decide who's need is more "needy"?
 
TheProwler said:
So if you can give 10 students a partial scholarship based on need, how would you go about doling them out?
Click to expand...

Crazy4F1 said:
equally. who am i as a third party to decide who's need is more "needy"?
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I believe that Prowler's question was, if you can give only 10 students out of a class of 172 a partial scholarship based on need, how do you go about deciding which 10 ought to get it?
 
Chulito said:
I believe that Prowler's question was, if you can give only 10 students out of a class of 172 a partial scholarship based on need, how do you go about deciding which 10 ought to get it?
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the same way you decide who gets a kidney or a miracle pill for cancer (see previous threads) - a random, lottery based system!
 
alwaysaangel said:
Because no matter how independent they feel (no cash) they probably still get a lot from mom and dad (their car, their car insurance, their phone, just to name a few that often get paid for by parents and students take for granted).
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SOO true..
 
Davjc2009 said:
SOO true..
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👍
I am kind of surprised at some of the responses in here. I don't think some people have a grasp of what it is to not have anything. People are upset about getting "cut off" for medical school, do some of you realize some of us were cut off like past the age of 16? No, I don't think you do. Do you realize some people never had an ounce of help for college tuition, books, food, car, NOTHING? Again, I don't think you do. Now imagine after all that facing medical school, etc. Come on people, some of you guys/girls need more exposure to how some people live and what it really means to have no help. I wish there could be money for everyone for school, but that doesn't seem to be the case.
 
etf said:
the same way you decide who gets a kidney or a miracle pill for cancer (see previous threads) - a random, lottery based system!
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That's not how organs are allocated.... they go to the people who will get the most use out of them.... sort of like finaid....ha ha.
 
Dookter said:
That's not how organs are allocated.... they go to the people who will get the most use out of them.... sort of like finaid....ha ha.
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i thought the organs went to the people who slipped the most money under the table to the doc
 
notgettingin said:
I was never asking for pity. What I was doing was responding to the below post, which was condescending to say the least- esp the part about mommy and daddy consoling them with cash. I really don't understand why it is OK to bash people simply for saying it is unfair to have to report your parental income, if your parents are not giving you a dime. I am 28, live on my own, work a full time job and have for years, went to a state school (not a private school), do not have an inheritance, and never went on trips to Tahoe and Cancun as everyone else is implying. I think everyone just needs to relax on this forum and stop jumping down people's throats all the time.

It is a crappy situation, but when I am eating bean burritos even with tons of institutional aid from Duke and half of my classmates are living waaaay above my means, I don't feel so bad anymore. At least they have mommy and daddy to console them with cash...
Click to expand...

I didn't mean to be condescending at all, so sorry it seems that way. I was just pointing out that I don't feel bad for getting some free money. I'm not the type of person who has even gotten anything "free" because my parents made less than those people around me. I'm not poor, and I do not consider myself disadvantaged at all. To give a little background, I'm a white male who grew up in a working class family. My dad owns a construction company, and I pretty much grew up working construction, etc. I have never attended a private school until now, and I didn't attend great public schools either. I'm just a run of the mill type of person, really. I have worked hard for what I have, and I have not expected to get a handout. Why would I really need a handout over someone else? I'm the type of person that would actually feel bad about taking free money when other people don't get it. I didn't EARN it through a merit based system, etc. However, when I got to medical school I really realized how different my little life story seems than most other people. People seem to have have had a lot more advantages along the way through either tons of parental support, high dollar schools, etc. It's certainly not everyone, but I have had my eyes opened a little as to how people really get to where they are in life. They are exceptional people, no doubt. However, the process seems a little skewed in their favor. So the whole point of my comment was to say that now I don't feel so bad for getting a little free money that others around me might not get. At the end of the day most everyone I know lives way better than I do, can afford to eat out way more than I can, has plane tickets bought for them to visit home on holidays, etc. And I'll also probably have more debt after 4 years than most of my classmates, despite getting a little free $$. I am not trying to bash people for having money. It's just that my little handout still left me behind most everyone else....so I don't feel bad since my "advantage" didn't really put me ahead of anyone...or at least anyone I know about...
 
Dookter said:
That's not how organs are allocated.... they go to the people who will get the most use out of them.... sort of like finaid....ha ha.
Click to expand...

Ah, but determining what constitutes getting "the most use out of them" isn't nearly as cut-and-dried as financial aid. Is it the people who could live longer age-wise, or the ones who've been on the waiting list longest, or those who could die without them, or the ones whose quality of life would be most improved? The single mother with 3 kids or the kid who might one day cure cancer? A couple of transplant surgeons in CO walked out on a case when it turned out the donor only knew the recipient via an internet organ solicitation website, but who's to say I shouldn't have the right to donate my organs to whomever I please instead of throwing them into some random pool where they might go to a prison inmate? Discussion for another day perhaps.
 
I was going to post a comment in this thread, but I found a smiley that says it all for me.

+pity+
 
Tic said:
Ah, but determining what constitutes getting "the most use out of them" isn't nearly as cut-and-dried as financial aid. Is it the people who could live longer age-wise, or the ones who've been on the waiting list longest, or those who could die without them, or the ones whose quality of life would be most improved? The single mother with 3 kids or the kid who might one day cure cancer? A couple of transplant surgeons in CO walked out on a case when it turned out the donor only knew the recipient via an internet organ solicitation website, but who's to say I shouldn't have the right to donate my organs to whomever I please instead of throwing them into some random pool where they might go to a prison inmate? Discussion for another day perhaps.
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I was not commenting on what I thought about the issue. I was commenting on how the issue is actually handled. There are a lot of factors that come into play, but decisions are made. The *attempt* is to determine who will have the worst outcome by not having surgery and couple that with who will have the best outcome after surgery. Those who need the surgery the most and who are likely to have the best outcome get the organs.... I was just pointing out that it is certainly not done by a random lottery...
 
Let's just say I perfer to have been born into a middle class family and have to take out the full $200K in loans, then to have been born into poverty and have to only take out $100K when I get to Med school.
 
GreenShirt said:
Let's just say I perfer to have been born into a middle class family and have to take out the full $200K in loans, then to have been born into poverty and have to only take out $100K when I get to Med school.
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👍 It's about time someone made this point.
 
The number of well off medical students is frankly very surprising.

People can either afford everything within reason, or are living off bean burritos.

There is very little in the middle, imo.
 
InBoston said:
The number of well off medical students is frankly very surprising.

People can either afford everything within reason, or are living off bean burritos.

There is very little in the middle, imo.
Click to expand...

Everyone is this thread is probably a lot richer than when they started it.
 
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