I feel drained. I feel like biologically I'm past my prime, and all those years going through college, trying to get into medical school, going through medical school, and surviving intern year, on top of all of life's stresses, has essentially drained me and I feel like I'm running on fumes. I don't know how I'm going to continue keeping this up for the rest of residency (not to mention the years after). I see people around me who seem unaffected by all of this when I just feel utterly drained and just yearn for a long long time off to just recuperate, do silly things, and sleep. I feel like I don't have control over my life and find myself longing to be free from all of this. My body isn't getting any younger and I wake up feeling exhausted, go home feeling numb, and repeat the cycle all over the next day. It's also very hard to study and retain things in this state and it even leaves me wondering if my brain is still even able to keep up with all of this knowledge/information that I'm expected to retain. It's now 2-3 cups of coffee/day, which now is essentially just for the taste as I still nod off during conference, coffee or not. I also feel like I missed out on so much and gave so many years of my life due to this tremendously long training period and I'll never get those years back. And sadly for my specialty I still have many years left. Would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.