aquababy,
I am an MSII and doing rather well. However, there isn't a DAY that goes by that I question whether or not this is for me. As applicants and undergrads, we can't even imagine the rigor that goes along with this huge committment to medical school. It affects every aspect of our lives, something many of us hadn't counted on. I talk to my classmates about this all the time, and I haven't found one that, at times, doesn't question their decision to be in medical school. Now, are we serious when we question it? No, probably not. That is coming from frustration and fatigue. Most of us are happy and feel fortunate to have been admitted. BUT, that doesn't mean we love every minute of it. It doesn't mean that we are guaranteed to succeed. It doesn't mean that we don't get scared to death at times.
You are just starting out. Therefore, you have a HUGE adjustment phase to get through. Once you make it thru that (probably by jan/feb), things seem to fall into place a little easier. Course material doesn't get easier, but it may seem like it does simply because you have developed ways to handle it all. Your time management will improve with time, as will your study habits.
Now, as for your current situation...You need to talk to your professors and work something out with them. The only thing you have is your ability to communicate, well....unless your dad is president of the school or something. If you truly don't want to take the leave of absence, you need to bust your butt to get back on track to finish out the quarter/semester. This term may be a wash, in that your grades are barely above passing. But, hey, that's still PASSING. After whatever break you get, start fresh next quarter and be sure to TALK to your classmates about things. See what they are doing to cope with the stresses of school. And I don't mean just get together with the biggest complainers in your class. I mean get with the serious, mature people who have gone thru the same adjustments as you and seem to be getting a grasp on things.
Sometimes it seems as if we are the only ones struggling, when we really aren't. When I find myself in a cycle of behaviors that don't seem healthy for studying or simply living, I ask others if they are going thru the same things. Usually, I get people rolling their eyes at me, laughing and saying "Yes, doublelle, I'm doing the same thing."
As far as motivation...that comes and goes. For instance, right now, I need to be doing my early-morning-cramming for a Neuro exam in an hour and a half. I don't know how old you are, but I am 28 and I KNOW I could not have committed myself to medical school fresh out of college. I didn't have the direction, motivation, or work ethic. (I am not saying that all younger, fresh out of college students can't handle med school...just that I had some growing up to do.) If you are a rather young person, maybe you should take some time off and just live life for a while. Believe it or not, you really do have MANY options.
Best of luck to you. We are all in this together....you aren't alone!
It's not an ideal lifestyle by any means, but I view it as paying your dues so to speak. What you need to remember is that the admissions committee selected you b/c they felt that you were capable of doing the work. There's no way they accept you if they think you're not going to succeed. No medical school brags about how many students they managed to fail. If they have confidence in your abilities, then so should you! There's a mountain of information in first year, and I won't pretend to tell you that I know what the best way to process it is. One thing I would suggest to do is to find a small group, maybe 3 or 4 other ppl to study with. It's a nice support system of sorts that also motivates you to study when you feel like taking a day off. Honestly, you just gotta find what works for you and keep at it. Different strokes for different folks.
