Sent a LOI to a school after being waitlisted and i got accepted, but I wont be able to attend

[Gothpanic]

Hi all
I got waitlisted and sent a letter of intent to a school a couple months ago. I was accepted today. But here is the issue: my SO got a really good job offer somewhere else, so I cant really attend the LOI school anymore (the distance isn't short enough for that).
I feel pretty ****ty about this. I dont wanna break my promise or start off my career with unprofessional/unethical behavior like this. I'm just wondering how I can handle this situation the best. Is it okay if I send an email, thank them for the offer, explain my situation and apologize?
It's just none of us saw that job offer coming, and I realize I should've been more careful writing the LOI (noted for the future for sure). Thank you.

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[cj_cregg]

This is exactly why schools tend not to take LOIs seriously. We can certainly acknowledge you probably should not have sent the LOI in the first place if there was ANY chance you'd end up preferring to go elsewhere, but there will likely be no real consequences for this. I think it would be fine to decline the offer and say you have had some unexpected changes in your personal circumstances and you are unable to matriculate there, thanks for the opportunity, blah blah blah.

 

[Kierkegaard's Bud]

This is exactly why schools tend not to take LOIs seriously. We can certainly acknowledge you probably should not have sent the LOI in the first place if there was ANY chance you'd end up preferring to go elsewhere, but there will likely be no real consequences for this. I think it would be fine to decline the offer and say you have had some unexpected changes in your personal circumstances and you are unable to matriculate there, thanks for the opportunity, blah blah blah.

If I was an adcom, the last thing I want from this student is an explanation of why they lied or changed their mind.

 

[Gothpanic]

If I was an adcom, the last thing I want from this student is an explanation of why they lied or changed their mind.

So do you think its better to skip the email then?
Also I didn't lie. I just don't want to be unprofessional or act like I didn't send the LOI.

 

[cj_cregg]

If I was an adcom, the last thing I want from this student is an explanation of why they lied or changed their mind.

I did not advise going into detail for exactly that reason. This is like a 3 sentence email

 

[Goro]

Hi all
I got waitlisted and sent a letter of intent to a school a couple months ago. I was accepted today. But here is the issue: my SO got a really good job offer somewhere else, so I cant really attend the LOI school anymore (the distance isn't short enough for that).
I feel pretty ****ty about this. I dont wanna break my promise or start off my career with unprofessional/unethical behavior like this. I'm just wondering how I can handle this situation the best. Is it okay if I send an email, thank them for the offer, explain my situation and apologize?
It's just none of us saw that job offer coming, and I realize I should've been more careful writing the LOI (noted for the future for sure). Thank you.

This example is why Admission Deans treat LOIs as lies.

Don't even waste your time or theirs explaining.

 

[candbgirl]

Do you have an acceptance someplace else?

 

[drthedude]

Hi all
I got waitlisted and sent a letter of intent to a school a couple months ago. I was accepted today. But here is the issue: my SO got a really good job offer somewhere else, so I cant really attend the LOI school anymore (the distance isn't short enough for that).
I feel pretty ****ty about this. I dont wanna break my promise or start off my career with unprofessional/unethical behavior like this. I'm just wondering how I can handle this situation the best. Is it okay if I send an email, thank them for the offer, explain my situation and apologize?
It's just none of us saw that job offer coming, and I realize I should've been more careful writing the LOI (noted for the future for sure). Thank you.

What future?

 

[Gothpanic]

What future?

I meant for residency (in case equivalent of LOIs exist), or similar situations in life in general

 

[Gothpanic]

Do you have an acceptance someplace else?

yes I do

 

[Gothpanic]

This example is why Admission Deans treat LOIs as lies.

Don't even waste your time or theirs explaining.

Noted. Thanks.

 

[GoSpursGo]

I meant for residency (in case equivalent of LOIs exist), or similar situations in life in general

Nobody is keeping your old LOI on hand to punish you in case you apply there for residency 4 years from now.

As others have said, this is why LOIs are pretty meaningless. At the end of the day they might be slightly annoyed to the extent that they now still have one more seat they need to fill in a short period of time, but we're all adults and understand that you ultimately have to make the right decision for yourself and your partner. I don't think you need to launch into a long explanation of what circumstances changed, as they probably don't care.

 

[Gothpanic]

Nobody is keeping your old LOI on hand to punish you in case you apply there for residency 4 years from now.

As others have said, this is why LOIs are pretty meaningless. At the end of the day they might be slightly annoyed to the extent that they now still have one more seat they need to fill in a short period of time, but we're all adults and understand that you ultimately have to make the right decision for yourself and your partner. I don't think you need to launch into a long explanation of what circumstances changed, as they probably don't care.

Thank you. Yeah tbh I dont even know if my LOI was the top reason I got in. I have reasons to think other pieces of my app had more to do with the A.