Serial MCAT rescheduler, what to do?

[WWYD]

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I need some outside perspective on this. I am really struggling with taking the MCAT. I start studying for it and then get freaked out by all the holes I have in knowledge. Somehow this makes me flee from the MCAT rather than try to conquer the gaps. Then I realize that my date is coming up so I ramp up the studying only to freak out weeks before the test date because I feel unprepared. I then reschedule. Having rescheduled I ease up and repeat the cycle of freaking out about knowledge gaps and later ramping up. I have rescheduled the exam several times because I just don't ever feel ready.

This time I've gone beyond content review and practice questions and have taken practice tests (AAMC FL scores: 31,33; Kaplan FL scores: 33,34,36,37). Still, knowing that my score has to balance out my suboptimal GPA (3.26, top 10 university) makes me feel that I'm still not ready because I need to score higher. This isn't a vanity thing, many schools do have a formula for GPA and MCAT screening. I just still feel that I have a lot of holes in content and I don't feel like I will come out of the exam with no regrets. Perhaps it's the perfectionist in me, perhaps it's the realist in me, I can't tell anymore.

So what do I do at this point? Do I reschedule my May 18 date thinking I can improve and if so to what date to still apply this cycle? My family is so sick of my rescheduling and I'm sick of it as well. Is the rescheduling a sign that I'm unreasonably trying to reach perfection or is it indicative of not really wanting to be a doctor? Given how high achieving and intelligent a person I am (not tooting my own horn, just giving you their perspective) they're perplexed by the MCAT meandering. Some think that maybe it means I really don't want to be a doctor, others think that I'm just underestimating my testing abilities and unnecessarily psyching myself out. For me, since the MCAT has been put off so much and is now on such a pedestal I'm not that perplexed that I'm freaked out by it. After all, if I've put off so much for the exam, wouldn't I logically want it to all be made worth it by a stellar score?

I have everything else ready to go for applying this cycle (everything other than GPA is excellent: letters, research, clinical, shadowing, volunteering, etc.) and I've taken several gap years because of this test. This is the ONLY thing holding me back.

Please give me your unbiased insight. I can't stop mean, useless comments but I'll probably ignore them so just save your time.

 

[Greedo]

I think that your AAMC practice FLs show that you are ready for the test. If it was me, I'd stick with the May date. Probably the only thing holding you back right now is test anxiety. You're probably right that you'll need your MCAT to balance out your gpa (although adcoms might be forgiving bc it's from a top 10 university), but based your on FLs you'll do great.
And you're the only person who knows if you really want to be a doctor, but it sounds like it's what you do want and that's why the MCAT is so important to you.

 

[wish2bMD]

I've taken several gap years because of this test. This is the ONLY thing holding me back.

Know that your feelings are completely normal. It is true that the MCAT is a big deal for applicants who have lower GPAs. It also makes sense that you delayed the exam numerous times because of this reason.

However, it sounds like you've been studying for the MCAT for a while now and you probably won't see any significant improvements if you push back the test date again unless you make significant changes to your study habits. Actually, you probably stopped seeing improvements a while ago since you've been studying for such a long period of time. If you haven't taken all the AAMC practice exams, do so under test-like conditions. Go to a library and take the practice exam with earplugs and people around you. The key is to get comfortable with the MCAT. I would stick with the May date, try to finish up taking all the practice exams, and fill in any important gaps in knowledge prior to the exam. Use the exam date as motivation and realize that your feelings of anxiety are normal for someone in your situation.

For someone with your stats, applying early and broadly is key. If you decide to delay again you will have a lower chance of getting an interview invite this upcoming app cycle. The latest I would take the MCAT is in mid June (if they even offer one then). It sounds like it really is time for you to take on the MCAT since you created this thread. Remember that you can always retake the exam if you find yourself unhappy with your score (or if you voided). You would at least be less afraid of the MCAT after experiencing it and more prepared for it the second time around.



TL;DR
Your feelings are normal, just finish your practice exams and take the dang thing. Apply early. Retake the exam if you're not happy. It's not the end of the world.

 

[orangeblue]

I completely understand your feelings and this is normal. It doesn't mean that there is no desire for you to be a doctors, sometimes the more we want something, the more elusive/difficult it gets.

One strategy that I'm using for myself is to schedule a getaway/travels right after the exam so it can help me keep prespective during the studying months. Maybe something like that can help you too?

 

[4 lyfe]

Im experiencing the same thing here.

 

[Cells4life]

same position here actually..my family is sick of me postponing as well...and i over psyche myself out as well and keep pushing the test back and hence have 2 gap years as a result...know that you are not only the one!

 

[orangeblue]

You are not alone.

 

[wiloghby]

You are ready for the MCAT! Your practice test scores are great and consistent!

Just take the MCAT, get your 33/34 and apply. Continue taking undergraduate coursework during your gap year and do GPA repair. Repeat as necessary until you get in somewhere.

Your MCAT doesn't have to be the single incredible thing that carries your weak GPA. Your practice scores are already pretty good and above average for matriculants. Instead of postponing until you can get a 45 on the MCAT and freaking out, why not be proud of a 30+ score and try to get some excellent research/EC experience to add to the excellent MCAT score?

tl;dr

A combination of good MCAT (32+) and excellent ECs to help your weak GPA is probably a more realistic goal than a 40+ MCAT score that causes a lot of anxiety and postponement.

 

[WWYD]

Thanks for the insight everyone. Despite all the time spent on MCAT studying I've always put off the AAMCs because they are such a precious resource. "Don't touch them until content is truly hammered down" type of mentality. But content will never be hammered down so now that I will finally be tapping into the AAMCs I probably will see the greater score jump than if I just keep trying to play with content. I'm not saying I'll get a 45 but a 34-35 is definitely still within reach and if it gets me through the door at several decent places (and according to the LizzyM score it may) then I know the other aspects of my application would show well.

I think you guys are right. The time to take this is now. I have two weeks and I just have to put my heart and soul into those two weeks. A small part of me, perhaps out of habit and fear, is still thinking, "but there's always a way to drop this date and an opening for May 30th will always pop up and buy you two more weeks" but mostly I'm tired of wasting money and time on fear. All the past fear has only served to make me think there's a way out and thus, not fully commit myself to the fact that this IS going to happen and I better just use my time effectively.

I also have a trip planned, like OrangeBlue suggested, for after the exam. Everything in my schedule is timed for this application cycle to go as well as possible (I have written everything for AMCAS sections--just need to tweak PS and the last two weeks of May will allow for that, I'm ready to submit right at the beginning of June, etc.).

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" (FDR) are very true words, it's time to stop fearing and time to face the beast and slay it.

I hope that all of you who have been experiencing what I have, also just set your mind to get it over with--not out of resignation but because you are actually ready, you're just scared and haven't drilled through the AAMCs. Let's do this guys, this is our cycle, let's ruthlessly conquer the time we have left until the exam. Feel free to PM me in case you need to vent or need support because with this kind of situation family and friends won't always get where you are coming from. They're tired of you hahaha, but I definitely get it just as you guys got it for me.

 

[DrBTS]

Wow we're the same people. Too bad I'm getting 27s. 🙁 How many times did you postpone, and how long have you been studying for?

 

[TotalDomination]

I need some outside perspective on this. I am really struggling with taking the MCAT. I start studying for it and then get freaked out by all the holes I have in knowledge. Somehow this makes me flee from the MCAT rather than try to conquer the gaps. Then I realize that my date is coming up so I ramp up the studying only to freak out weeks before the test date because I feel unprepared. I then reschedule. Having rescheduled I ease up and repeat the cycle of freaking out about knowledge gaps and later ramping up. I have rescheduled the exam several times because I just don't ever feel ready.

This time I've gone beyond content review and practice questions and have taken practice tests (AAMC FL scores: 31,33; Kaplan FL scores: 33,34,36,37). Still, knowing that my score has to balance out my suboptimal GPA (3.26, top 10 university) makes me feel that I'm still not ready because I need to score higher. This isn't a vanity thing, many schools do have a formula for GPA and MCAT screening. I just still feel that I have a lot of holes in content and I don't feel like I will come out of the exam with no regrets. Perhaps it's the perfectionist in me, perhaps it's the realist in me, I can't tell anymore.

So what do I do at this point? Do I reschedule my May 18 date thinking I can improve and if so to what date to still apply this cycle? My family is so sick of my rescheduling and I'm sick of it as well. Is the rescheduling a sign that I'm unreasonably trying to reach perfection or is it indicative of not really wanting to be a doctor? Given how high achieving and intelligent a person I am (not tooting my own horn, just giving your their perspective) they're perplexed by the MCAT meandering. Some think that maybe it means I really don't want to be a doctor, others think that I'm just underestimating my testing abilities and unnecessarily psyching myself out. For me, since the MCAT has been put off so much and is now on such a pedestal I'm not that perplexed that I'm freaked out by it. After all, if I've put off so much for the exam, wouldn't I logically want it to all be made worth it by a stellar score?

I have everything else ready to go for applying this cycle (everything other than GPA is excellent: letters, research, clinical, shadowing, volunteering, etc.) and I've taken several gap years because of this test. This is the ONLY thing holding me back.

Please give me your unbiased insight. I can't stop mean, useless comments but I'll probably ignore them so just save your time.

Wow I have a higher gpa but dude you just told the story of my life.

 

[WWYD]

I'm really quite surprised at how many of you can relate. I hope we can all get our acts together!

@DrBTS, unofficially I postponed enough times to keep AAMC running for a year with my rescheduling and registration fees. Officially, something like 5 times, maybe more? Best not to think about it.

As to your other question: I started studying for this round mid-January. While the times I studied before this counted in some way or another they mostly didn't. Once I started studying for this round it was as if I'd woken up from a dream (nightmare!)--I knew I had studied before but it was all so vague and unclear. I think that's what happens when you focus only on content and don't do practice tests and questions: your mind doesn't solidify the information. Sure you think you know what you know right after you read it and do the end-of-chapter quizzes but that information will fade if you don't do more practice items and flashcards. It's funny because everyone assumes that because I've been "studying" this long I really should know it all but come on, realistically I've just been messing around and none of it stuck. Classes have midterms and finals so that you're forced to revisit the material in a condensed manner and apply what you've learned. Thus, because I was reserving the full lengths and practice tests for after content, I was actually preventing myself from mastering the content.

This time feels real though. Despite the gaps, I know I have a lot of formulas and concepts in my mind that won't just fizzle away and that I appropriately recall during the FLs. Flashcards and questions, flashcards and questions!

 

[AticusHolmes]

I feel your pain. I studied for almost two months at 100% and then had some problems that derailed me. I am now taking it this June. Back at it I guess. Its tough because the test is so important.

 

[futbol2011]

I need some outside perspective on this. I am really struggling with taking the MCAT. I start studying for it and then get freaked out by all the holes I have in knowledge. Somehow this makes me flee from the MCAT rather than try to conquer the gaps. Then I realize that my date is coming up so I ramp up the studying only to freak out weeks before the test date because I feel unprepared. I then reschedule. Having rescheduled I ease up and repeat the cycle of freaking out about knowledge gaps and later ramping up. I have rescheduled the exam several times because I just don't ever feel ready.

This time I've gone beyond content review and practice questions and have taken practice tests (AAMC FL scores: 31,33; Kaplan FL scores: 33,34,36,37). Still, knowing that my score has to balance out my suboptimal GPA (3.26, top 10 university) makes me feel that I'm still not ready because I need to score higher. This isn't a vanity thing, many schools do have a formula for GPA and MCAT screening. I just still feel that I have a lot of holes in content and I don't feel like I will come out of the exam with no regrets. Perhaps it's the perfectionist in me, perhaps it's the realist in me, I can't tell anymore.

So what do I do at this point? Do I reschedule my May 18 date thinking I can improve and if so to what date to still apply this cycle? My family is so sick of my rescheduling and I'm sick of it as well. Is the rescheduling a sign that I'm unreasonably trying to reach perfection or is it indicative of not really wanting to be a doctor? Given how high achieving and intelligent a person I am (not tooting my own horn, just giving you their perspective) they're perplexed by the MCAT meandering. Some think that maybe it means I really don't want to be a doctor, others think that I'm just underestimating my testing abilities and unnecessarily psyching myself out. For me, since the MCAT has been put off so much and is now on such a pedestal I'm not that perplexed that I'm freaked out by it. After all, if I've put off so much for the exam, wouldn't I logically want it to all be made worth it by a stellar score?

I have everything else ready to go for applying this cycle (everything other than GPA is excellent: letters, research, clinical, shadowing, volunteering, etc.) and I've taken several gap years because of this test. This is the ONLY thing holding me back.

Please give me your unbiased insight. I can't stop mean, useless comments but I'll probably ignore them so just save your time.

Oh my god. Not to be disrespectful or anything, but are you kidding? How could you keep rescheduling your MCAT if you're scoring above 30 on all your practice exams? For god's sake, just take the thing and get it over with! You're obviously going to do well, but from what I see you have confidence issues, big time confidence issues. Maybe in this situation it would be more helpful for you to visit a psychologist or talk to someone you love who can help you have more confidence. That is all you need.

 

[OCDOCDOCD]

The thing about the MCAT is that you will never feel ready. Eventually you just have to take the plunge. You're doing well on your FLs, it's time. You can't keep delaying for much longer anyway, unless you want to delay med school for an entire year.

If it helps, start thinking of your test date less in terms of "I only have X days left to study everything I have left" and more in terms of "Only X more days until I'm done with this stupid test forever". When I took the MCAT I didn't feel completely ready (and indeed, there was one passage I got where I knew that if I had had just another day to study I would have aced it), but I was actually looking forward to it for weeks because I was just so ready to finally be done with it.

 

[WWYD]

@AticusHolmes, good luck in June!

@futbol2011, thanks for the post. While I agree that it's important to have confidence going into this I don't think that changes the fact that a 3.26 GPA needs a strong MCAT to make it past screening numbers at many schools. I can't study for the MCAT for a million years just to get a high score but at the same time I can't get practice scores of 31 and 33 for AAMC FLs and think it will all be okay (going in hoping for an outlier score is a bad idea). Some schools will actually never look at applications below screening levels--there are already just too many above screening level applications to even bother with that. Still, I appreciate your post and will definitely am up the confidence.

@OCDOCDOCD, you are very right and it is something I have come to realize. You will never feel that you know it all but you should feel that your performance on the FLs has been consistent and you can replicate it on the MCAT.

Okay guys, I think we're starting to . Thanks for all the help, time to take the MCAT and move on.