Should I voluntarily withdraw due to having a terminally ill immediate family member? or "medical school will always be there" but my sister won't be

[doctorrosemaryparsley]

I'm a non-trad, 29 years old, and live across the country from my family. My sister was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer last Fall during my first semester of med school. I took a LOA to move home to be her caregiver as she needed several major surgeries and three months of chemotherapy. When we learned that she was in remission, I re-instated to join the class of 2025.

Less than a week into the school year, I found out my sister's cancer has come back, and now it's stage 4. Her prognosis is unfavorable, i.e. a less than 5% chance that she will be alive in 5 years. Per her doctors, she could have less than 2 years given how aggressive her particular cancer is.

My therapist, my sister's oncologist, and several mentors have all basically said "medical school isn't going anywhere", and per her oncologist, I "have the rest of my life to be a miserable doctor".

I wanted to reach out and see if this is actually true.

Have you ever heard of medical students voluntarily withdrawing from courses for medical/family/etc reasons, and then coming back and graduating?

I'm hoping for seeking stories of success, anecdotes, even urban legends. If you have any stories of people surviving a rare and aggressive stage IV cancer that would be cool too.

Thank you all in advance for reading.

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[djiboutiman]

While I haven’t heard of any stories like yours, I think taking an extended leave is the right thing to do. I’m sure the administration at your school has decent human beings that would be sympathetic to your situation. You‘ll have to address your extended absence period when residency applications come around, but I believe they too would be sympathetic. Although not stage IV, both my parents had cancer and made it through. I’m wishing you and your family the best!

 

[DarkHorizon]

This is a very difficult situation. But I would 100 percent take an LOA. Hopefully your school allows it, any decent person should make an exception for this. Helping people starts with family first.

 

[AMEHigh]

I took a leave of absence for 2 years. It wasn’t for family reasons, but to do something I wanted to do and felt that was the best time to do it. No regrets and I’d do it again.

I would absolutely take a LOA in your case. Best wishes to you and your family.

 

[DO2015CA]

family over everything. Talk to your school. You guys may be able to work it out so you don’t have to completely withdraw and try to regain entrance

 

[BorntobeDO?]

I'm a non-trad, 29 years old, and live across the country from my family. My sister was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer last Fall during my first semester of med school. I took a LOA to move home to be her caregiver as she needed several major surgeries and three months of chemotherapy. When we learned that she was in remission, I re-instated to join the class of 2025.

Less than a week into the school year, I found out my sister's cancer has come back, and now it's stage 4. Her prognosis is unfavorable, i.e. a less than 5% chance that she will be alive in 5 years. Per her doctors, she could have less than 2 years given how aggressive her particular cancer is.

My therapist, my sister's oncologist, and several mentors have all basically said "medical school isn't going anywhere", and per her oncologist, I "have the rest of my life to be a miserable doctor".

I wanted to reach out and see if this is actually true.

Have you ever heard of medical students voluntarily withdrawing from courses for medical/family/etc reasons, and then coming back and graduating?

I'm hoping for seeking stories of success, anecdotes, even urban legends. If you have any stories of people surviving a rare and aggressive stage IV cancer that would be cool too.

Thank you all in advance for reading.

I took a leave for a year and returned and finished. I have a friend that basically started med school over after 2 years off. That’s what I think you would need to do. Just reset the whole clock. He went to a different school, but in your circumstance I think the school would understand. I am very sorry about your sister. Unfortunately I don’t have stories of people surviving aggressive cancer, quite frankly the patients I have in that situation tend to go quicker than anyone wants. Go back to your sister.

 

[doctorrosemaryparsley]

thank you everyone for the advice and words of encouragement. it's been really hard. I have often felt as if I'm grieving two things, my sister and my dream of becoming a physician, when both of which are still here. having experienced grief before (my father died suddenly when I was in elementary school), I thought I could handle it and compartmentalize my sadness in order to still pass my coursework.

medical school doesn't handle being compartmentalized well, nor does it tolerate being used as a distraction from the cruel, extended grief of having a family member that is both terminally ill and very young.

I have reached out to my school and extended my leave. Thank you all again for taking the time to help ease me into a decision part of me knew that I had already made. you have all helped me remember why I want to become a physician in the first place by showing your compassion here, to a stranger on the internet <3