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Significant Other?

Started by HarMegido
BU Medical Sciences
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HarMegido

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Even though i'm really excited about going to Tourocom in the fall. i'm still a little worried about how i'm going to make a long distance relationship work with my fiance. she's staying in chicago for the rest of this year and will be applying to med school too. hopefully she is coming to tourcom with me in a year 😀. she is being very supportive but also avoiding the subject too. anyone in a similar situation? need advice!!!!
 
im from chicago too. im going to tourocom too. my girl is staying back in chicago too. i am also engaged to her. shes trying to get into tourocom for next year. hmmm.
 
im from chicago.. going to bradenton next year.. fiance is staying in chicago.. what is it with us chicago people
 
ellinopedo182 said:
im from chicago too. im going to tourocom too. my girl is staying back in chicago too. i am also engaged to her. shes trying to get into tourocom for next year. hmmm.
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Perhaps you two are the same person?
Have you ever heard of dissociative personality disorder?
 
HarMegido said:
Even though i'm really excited about going to Tourocom in the fall. i'm still a little worried about how i'm going to make a long distance relationship work with my fiance. she's staying in chicago for the rest of this year and will be applying to med school too. hopefully she is coming to tourcom with me in a year 😀. she is being very supportive but also avoiding the subject too. anyone in a similar situation? need advice!!!!
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If my situation can be of any sort of a ruler, it is hard that first year apart. You will have problems, mainly due to the time constraints. However, the best advice I can give you is to set aside time for her. As a very wise person told me: "a relationship is like a job, you need to work at and be dedicated to it if you want it to work. No matter the amount of love two people may feel, if you both aren't working at it 50/50, it is doomed."

Finally, remember, medical school is not your entire life. It will be very easy to try and fall into that slump that you need to be the top of the class or that you need to get a 100 on every test. If you have that attitude, you may be more likely to ignore her needs. I guess what I am trying to say is, no matter what you hear on TV, your life comes first, not last.
 
orchid07 said:
Me too!!!!!! This has been the sole reason that im not excited for med school. My bf is staying in Chicago.. must be chicago thing haha. But yeah... im goin to iowa unless ccom would take me off the alternate list!😡 Im still not sure how its gonna work, like many of you im sure, we avoid the discussion all together.
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I'm still rooting for you to get into CCOM! Waitlist movement probably hasn't started yet so don't give up hope yet! I think you deserve it especially because you have a kick a** avatar. 😉
 
I'm from chicago, and going to Touro-NY. She is staying behind, and will try to get in for next year. If she cheats on me, I will crush her.
 
How do you get rejected from UIC post interview? I thought they hadn't rejected anyone post interview and won't until may
 
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HarMegido said:
Even though i'm really excited about going to Tourocom in the fall. i'm still a little worried about how i'm going to make a long distance relationship work with my fiance. she's staying in chicago for the rest of this year and will be applying to med school too. hopefully she is coming to tourcom with me in a year 😀. she is being very supportive but also avoiding the subject too. anyone in a similar situation? need advice!!!!
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I am currently going thru your exact situation. I am at DCOM and my wife is in Chicago due to work (damn tax season). Granted it is not the easiest thing in the world, but you can make it work. My wife and I talk to each other everyday and we see each other about once a month. The biggest thing is to not make her feel forgotten or pushed to the back burner. Obviously she'll know you will be busy, but just remember to make time for her and everything will be a good as it can be.
 
I think there are a lot of us in the same boat. I'm going to LECOM-B and my gf will still have one more year of med school. I've been in this situation before (distant relationship for a year) and it sucks. My advice to you is to rack up those cell phone minutes and try to make contact at least once a day. Also, try to see each other at least every 6 weeks, more than that it starts to get petty difficult. I sucks at first, but before you know it...it'll be Winter break and then the summer before 2nd year, and then it will be all a dream...😍
 
EEL08 said:
Who got rejected from UIC?
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Checkout OP's MDapps, says he/she interviewed at UIC but got rejected afterwards. I know for a fact that UIC doesn't reject anyone post interview until may. Makes you wonder....
 
It looks like I'm headed to LECOM-B and my fiance will be staying behind in Milwaukee for now. I tried a long distance relationship before too, and that didn't work, but I was only 20 and didn't really know who I was or what I wanted so I am hoping this works out better. :-/

I'm glad that there will be a few others at LECOM-B who will understand when I lose it for no obvious reasion😀.
 
avalon18217 said:
It looks like I'm headed to LECOM-B and my fiance will be staying behind in Milwaukee for now. I tried a long distance relationship before too, and that didn't work, but I was only 20 and didn't really know who I was or what I wanted so I am hoping this works out better. :-/

I'm glad that there will be a few others at LECOM-B who will understand when I lose it for no obvious reasion😀.
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Milwaukee in the house WOOT!
 
My girlfriend is in nursing school in Houston and I am going to LECOM-B. We have already been apart for a year and a half and will probably apart for a year more after school starts. But we are planning on getting married after my first year. An advantage we've had is the fact that we both have very demanding schedules right now and share a cell phone plan (lots of INcalling minutes).

I think if you both are willing to sacrifice for the relationship and put effort into it then you will both get a lot out of it. No matter how far apart you are. With that being said, not every relationship is the same. Things happen. Life happens. Thats just how it is.

Talk often. Share all the small details, no matter how unimportant they may seem. They are what make up your life; sharing them makes you feel closer. Let the other one know every day that you love them. Out loud in words. "Oh they know I love them, I don't have to say it" is grade A Oscar Mayer.

Good luck to anyone who makes the choice to undergo a long distance relationship. They are worth it if you find the right one.

I need to call someone now.
 
I cannot imagine anything that would be more of a pain in the *** than trying to have a long-distance relationship while in med school.
 
HarMegido said:
Even though i'm really excited about going to Tourocom in the fall. i'm still a little worried about how i'm going to make a long distance relationship work with my fiance. she's staying in chicago for the rest of this year and will be applying to med school too. hopefully she is coming to tourcom with me in a year 😀. she is being very supportive but also avoiding the subject too. anyone in a similar situation? need advice!!!!
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Sorry to paint a bad picture for you, but I was engaged before medical school... had been with the girl for seven years and she broke it off when I left for medical school. I have seen other relationships flourish, but I have seen so many ripped apart during the first trimester of medical school.

More or less, making this whole thing work is going to depend on nothing but your mutual commitment and dedication. If either of you lets jealousy or loneliness get the best of you, it's not going to work. Your SO is going to have to understand the intense demands on your time, particularly in the first trimester/semester.

That said, I have seen some relationships survive and are still going on... even across thousands of miles.

Your goal has to be to make her NOT avoid the question, because the situation is going to be very real soon.
 
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my bf and i are from the boston area and we both moved to queens last summer for me to start school. he's starting law school in the fall and there's a very real possibility that he'll be moving back to ma. i'm not looking forward to it but i'm not overly worried. we've survived most of my first year of medical school and we are capable of surviving a 4 hour bus ride distance apart. effort + faith = success.
 
definitley don't avoid talking about it.. i talk about it with my fiance all the time.. it makes it easier to have a plan that way when i get down there and we are suddenly 1200 miles apart it isn't a big shock
 
does anyone else who is married feel intense guilt for putting your wife/ husband through all this crap? Especially moving to a town where she/he probably wont find a good job.
 
haha the key to relationships in medical school. or in life. dont have them.

simple. its worked for me so far. haha.😀
 
ThisIsYourLife said:
definitley don't avoid talking about it.. i talk about it with my fiance all the time.. it makes it easier to have a plan that way when i get down there and we are suddenly 1200 miles apart it isn't a big shock
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Yeah, it concerns me to see couples who are avoiding talking about something as significant as a cross country move with each other and how they will deal with it. Communication is the key to a solid and lasting relationship.

You have to talk about your feelings and all that mushy stuff. You can't just assume you know how the other person feels or what they are thinking. You have to ask and talk it out -- if only to make sure you are both on the same page. Really, it's quite important. I know it can sometimes bring up bad feelings or stuff you don't want to talk about, but this way you can address any issues that need to be addressed now. It's much better than avoiding things until they are too bad and it seems too difficult to overcome it and then you just decide to break it off.
 
We do talk about it, its just that it hurts her everytime we do because she knows its starting to become more and more real that I am going to be gone for a year.



sunny1 said:
Yeah, it concerns me to see couples who are avoiding talking about something as significant as a cross country move with each other and how they will deal with it. Communication is the key to a solid and lasting relationship.

You have to talk about your feelings and all that mushy stuff. You can't just assume you know how the other person feels or what they are thinking. You have to ask and talk it out -- if only to make sure you are both on the same page. Really, it's quite important. I know it can sometimes bring up bad feelings or stuff you don't want to talk about, but this way you can address any issues that need to be addressed now. It's much better than avoiding things until they are too bad and it seems too difficult to overcome it and then you just decide to break it off.
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scdocusc said:
does anyone else who is married feel intense guilt for putting your wife/ husband through all this crap? Especially moving to a town where she/he probably wont find a good job.
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Yes. Fortunately I married into a family of dentists and so my wife has been conditioned her whole life to expect to be ignored and live in poverty while in professional school. It helps that my mother-in-law went through the same thing and she basically has told my wife not to expect too much during the med school years.

She knows it is worth it. I'm not naive enough to think we won't have some tough times but at least she knows first-hand that it pays off in the end. I think that helps.
 
doing the long distance thing is definitely possible, but certainly not easy. communication is key, and you have to expect that there will be ups and downs, good days and bad, but as long as you're committed to each other and put in the effort you can make it work.

my boyfriend and i have been apart for 2 years while i've been in grad school. the first year was only nyc--> boston (easy), but this year has been nyc--> san francisco, where he's doing his plastics residency. based on the fact that he's incredibly busy, and i know i'm going to be really busy next year, i've chosen to go to touro-ca (unless i get off the waitlist at one school which is close to home) otherwise, we would never see each other.

for your situation, i think it's good that only you'll be really busy for the first year you're apart - that may give her more flexibility in coming to visit you. for next year when she's applying, there are a ton of med schools in the new york metropolitan area so make sure she applies to ALL of them - it'll give you guys a better chance of being together. good luck, hope everything works out!
 
EEL08 said:
I'm still rooting for you to get into CCOM! Waitlist movement probably hasn't started yet so don't give up hope yet! I think you deserve it especially because you have a kick a** avatar. 😉
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Thank you!!!!😀
 
ellinopedo182 said:
We do talk about it, its just that it hurts her everytime we do because she knows its starting to become more and more real that I am going to be gone for a year.
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Hmmm. Have you asked her why she's so hurt? Is it because she will miss you, or because she has reservations about whether you guys will remain committed to eachother? I'd try to get to the root of the issue, so you can address it from there...

Also, to help while you both are away from eachother, maybe invest into video cams so you can not only talk every day, but see eachother, too. Maybe agree to sit in front of the computer and eat together a few nights a week or something of the sort while you guys talk. Just make sure you make time to make eachother part of your routine every day. I totally agree that can't stop your life while in med school.

Best wishes to all of you long distancers! :luck: If it was meant to be, it will work out for you if you both put forth the effort... And get a cell phone plan with unlimited minutes to eachother (like T-Mobile, and not just cause my husband works there 😉).
 
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Sam212 said:
How do you get rejected from UIC post interview? I thought they hadn't rejected anyone post interview and won't until may
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oops sorry. i was in a rush when i made that = mental lapse. lets hope i never have to say "oops" when i become a doctor 😀

thanks guys so much for the help. i'm gonna talk to her this weekend and really clearify things and come to an understanding. wish me luck. and what is up with us chicago people, seriously?
 
^^ I am jealous.. according to your MDapps.. at least you have the option to stay in Chicago.. the same is not true for most of us..
 
I'm getting married this month and will be moving from MD to Philly to go to PCOM. My husband to be's job is here in MD for right now. He's a consultant and the company will put him on a train every monday-thursday and put him up in a htoel, so he'll be home with me in philly on the weekends. His view point of the whole med school thing is that I'm only in school for 4 years- yes it will be difficult, but we're making a lifetime committment here, what is 4 years in the grand scheme of things. If the commuting to work isn't working after 6 months, he'll re-evaulate it and try for a project in philly or even another job. If you both put the effort into it and you have a strong committed relationship I really believe you can make it work.
 
It's been really interesting reading all the different situations all of you are in. Thanks for posting and showing support! My girlfriend and I both plan on grad school (hers for MSW, mine for DO/MD) and it is inevitable we will be pretty far apart. I agree with skier06, the best thing is communication. I'm sure we will be having more conversations about this as it gets closer to the time. Best of luck to everyone and I hope everything goes your way, because I know this kind of thing is a hard transition to make. 😎

That being said...Verizon, Sprint, T-Mobile, and AT&T are now offering unlimited voice plans..hmm...
 
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