Significiant other?

[DocHomer]

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You could also sign a prenuptial agreement that would financially protect you if you're really concerned about it. But I didn't do it...

I think couples make two big mistakes when it comes to marriage. First, they're not real with each other while they are still dating. It's very important to be open and honest about who you are and what you believe and value. This is the only way to determine if you're marrying the right person. The second problem is a lack of commitment. We are by nature selfish and we live in a society that thrives off of feelings thereby justifying our selfish behavior. Marriage is about sacrifice - a lot of it. If you're not prepared to put someone else's happiness above your own, then you're not ready to get married.

Is being married during medical school difficult? Definitely. Will the demands of medical school challenge your relationship? Absolutely. I've seen marriages flourish into old age and others crumble in their infancy, but it can and will work if you work at it. Every relationship has its share of problems...it's a part of marriage. Don't let the movies fool you. There's no such thing as walking off into the sunset, but you can be incredibly happy in your marriage...like me.

 

[Emerald84]

This thread is awesome. It reminds me of my entire undergrad in sociology... sitting around with much the same types of discussions. Geez, I loved my major.

 

[Octagonecology]

Instead of getting married just walk up to a pretty girl and ask her to kick you in the nuts and then give her half your money. At least you'll get it over with quick.

 

[Semicolon]

Instead of getting married just walk up to a pretty girl and ask her to kick you in the nuts and then give her half your money. At least you'll get it over with quick.

My god. Who the heck screwed you over? 🙄

 

[Chocolate Bear]

My god. Who the heck didn't screw you over? 🙄

fixed. 😀

 

[Octagonecology]

I think there should be a law that before any man is issued a marriage license by the courthouse he should have to prove that he has read this entire website: www.nomarriage.com

then write a 10 page thesis on why every word is exactly correct and valid.

 

[Chocolate Bear]

I think there should be a law that before any man is issued a marriage license by the courthouse he should have to prove that he has read this entire website: www.nomarriage.com

then write a 10 page thesis on why every word is exactly correct and valid.

No more promoting your sites, like www.jadedforlife.com. 😛

 

[antapolar]

I think there should be a law that before any man is issued a marriage license by the courthouse he should have to prove that he has read this entire website: www.nomarriage.com

then write a 10 page thesis on why every word is exactly correct and valid.

Lol...this website is great, its just a group thearpy for a bunch of senile old man complaining...and someone type-write the s*** up. Man, hope you will be happy with your single life. This is a positive feedback loop with the negativity towards marriage. You think its bad, you research into why its bad, believes so more, and *repeat. The fact that at 34 you are still single and wishes to be so prob as suggested...got off a bad relationship or maybe it's just "you". Everything always have two side, if you want to stick to one side only its fine too.

Another note to those others that think, oh maybe you can just finish up the school first. ..I'm sorry, med is another 10 yrs of studying. You think now you are busy because school, would residency be any easier? Its definitely subjective to everyone's own relationship, but thinking that would be easier after first 4 yrs of school is not right.

 

[punkiedad]

OMG......where to negin.

Marriage is work every single day. The pastor at our church once said 50% of the parriages in our church were in trouble at any given time! Here are a coupe nuggets in the world according to me. Not meant to be sarcastic or whatever, just obervations, theories and experiences:

--My wife used to say "Why can't you be more like R***, our neighbor. He does this and that." FFD two years...neighbor runs off with girlfriend! I ask my wife "Are you sure you want me to be like him??"

--When a guy gets married, he wants or hopes everything will stay the same. The women APPEAR to want things to evolve / change. I am convinced this is biochemical in nature. Once you understand it or accept it, it gets much easier, I think.

--I used to think the guys that just rolled over were the pathetic losers of the world.. Now I think they are the genuises. I know when my wife needs me to do this. I don't take it personal, there are certain times that no matter what, I just say "OK, tell me what you need me to do...." or something similar. I now dont look at it as rolling over. I think it is compromise.....as a matter of faact, I used to think compromise was coming to the middle on everything, when in actuality it is giving in on certain things and being passionate about others...ala picking and choosing your battles, etc. I have found things to be much clearer.

--What would happen if we all spent the similar amount of time working / investing in our marriages or relationships as we did about griping about them or looking for new ones??? I'm just saying. Sometimes it is easier to kepp your house in shape rather than always looking to move.

best of luck to all of you/ us that have marriages / sig. others and kids while in or starting med school. It certainly won't be easy.

 

[Octagonecology]

OMG......where to negin.

Marriage is work every single day. The pastor at our church once said 50% of the parriages in our church were in trouble at any given time! Here are a coupe nuggets in the world according to me. Not meant to be sarcastic or whatever, just obervations, theories and experiences:

--My wife used to say "Why can't you be more like R***, our neighbor. He does this and that." FFD two years...neighbor runs off with girlfriend! I ask my wife "Are you sure you want me to be like him??"

--When a guy gets married, he wants or hopes everything will stay the same. The women APPEAR to want things to evolve / change. I am convinced this is biochemical in nature. Once you understand it or accept it, it gets much easier, I think.

--I used to think the guys that just rolled over were the pathetic losers of the world.. Now I think they are the genuises. I know when my wife needs me to do this. I don't take it personal, there are certain times that no matter what, I just say "OK, tell me what you need me to do...." or something similar. I now dont look at it as rolling over. I think it is compromise.....as a matter of faact, I used to think compromise was coming to the middle on everything, when in actuality it is giving in on certain things and being passionate about others...ala picking and choosing your battles, etc. I have found things to be much clearer.

--What would happen if we all spent the similar amount of time working / investing in our marriages or relationships as we did about griping about them or looking for new ones??? I'm just saying. Sometimes it is easier to kepp your house in shape rather than always looking to move.

best of luck to all of you/ us that have marriages / sig. others and kids while in or starting med school. It certainly won't be easy.

Not to burst your bubble but...

If your wife works, I promise you on everything that is holy, she has already hooked up with someone from work. You just haven't found out yet. But you will....I promise you that you will.

 

[fitz0809]

Not to burst your bubble but...

If your wife works, I promise you on everything that is holy, she has already hooked up with someone from work. You just haven't found out yet. But you will....I promise you that you will.

Why in the hell does everyone have such a pessimistic outlook on life here???

I mean how is it possible to judge something like this...

You must have pretty messed up experiences.

PS I hope you never make such general and dumb comments or inferences with any future patients.

 

[Crashingtide]

he reminds me of Becker...or am I the only one who remembers this show?

 

[premedinohio]

It isn't fair to assume that your SO is going to screw you over,
After all, all of us are capable of doing the exact same thing to them. Couldn't we kick our SO's to the curb after having them support us through med school?
Just keep in mind that a med student's SO is taking a significant risk too.

 

[brucecanbeatyou]

Marriage means a lot of things to a lot of people.

To my wife and I, it is a symbol of a commitment to "us," among other things. This commitment not to each other as individuals, but to this new entity, almost like a team, or a partnership, gives us ownership in something which we also share with the other person.

That way, we aren't individuals working towards our own goals, and neither one of us is sacrificing everything so that the other can follow his/her dreams, but we are working together toward the same goals. We both win, because we are on the same team.

A clear example of this is that we both say that "we're going to medical school." I will be attending the classes/taking care of our kid, and my wife will be working/taking care of our kid, but we're both working toward the same goal - having a member of the family that obtains a means of financial gain/happiness through work. After medical school, my wife wants to get her Psychology PhD. When she does, it will benefit us both, because another member of our team will gain abilities and happiness. We have a lot of goals, which we have accomplished/will accomplish together. Of course this requires a lot of communication, clearly defined goals, and definitely sacrifice, but it is worth it. The support/love is invaluable to both of us, and helps us in all areas of life. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts!

That is our situation - like I said, marriage means a lot of things to a lot of people, and marriage as my wife and I view it isn't going to appeal to everyone or work in everybody's situation. That said, to us, it is a powerful source of identity, motivation, goals, satisfaction, and love.

 

[punkiedad]

Not to burst your bubble but...

If your wife works, I promise you on everything that is holy, she has already hooked up with someone from work. You just haven't found out yet. But you will....I promise you that you will.

He eightball......."Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play??"

It sounds like you have really been f#*%(d over.

I am actually not pessimistic about this thread.

If my wife did hook up at work, I don't know that I would totally blame her. There are two sides to every story. I am not trying to be coy here, but how can you assume that if my wife did hook up, it wasn't because I was neglecting her or just so into myself that she felt trapped.

So, I say, before you glance out to the ocean from your Glass House, you should take a good look at the Octowhatever in the mirror. If you did get royally f****d over in the past, maybe you contributed??? I'm just saying................