PB&Jam

2+ Year Member
Jan 14, 2016
455
532
Status
Medical Student
One of the schools I am applying to asked me to briefly describe my single, most rewarding experience. I wrote the essay about my time in my college marching band, and wanted to end with something I told one of my freshman section members this past week. It was a week of intense, day-long rehearsals (9am-9pm, Saturday through the next Sunday), and she was getting exhausted and frustrated. She asked me what kept me coming back for four years, and I answered simply: "I fell in love with it." In my essay, I wrote:

The meaning of my time in the UCMB didn’t really hit home, though, until one of this year’s new members asked me, “Why did you keep coming back for four years?” I thought about giving her a long answer, but I realized that all I had to say could be summed up in a simple statement: “I fell in love with it.”

Is this an appropriate thing to say/way to end an essay? Or should I use less...er...strong/romanticized language? Thanks.