Single vet students

[twelvetigers]

I didn't before, but do now... (want kids)... but I never say that because it's pretty much just rude no matter what happens.

Just to explain how it worked for me... well, I really don't like kids - they're gross, rude, noisy, inconsiderate, etc. etc. (as expected, you know, and I'm referring to the younger ones here). My sister had #1 at age 21, then proceeded to have #2, #3, #4, and finally #5 at age 32 or so. So now, I have a bit more firsthand experience with children, including diapers, boogers, arguing, scraped knees, and now... a teenager with a cell phone. Terrifying!

I also get to see some of the sweeter things, though. For example, I visited for Xmas. I was jumping on the trampoline with the husband and the middle girls + middle boy. At one point, I revealed that uncle B is ticklish (And I am not) so we all ganged up on him - it was basically the cutest thing ever, and it definitely popped into my mind, "He is going to make a GREAT Dad someday." Or how about when the blonde one interrups a conversation to declare, "I fall over sometimes!" and then giggle... or when she runs around the back yard with the doggie pooper scooper pretending it's a sword... lol. I dunno, I changed for sure (not that recently, these are just examples). I now can't imagine NOT sharing that experience with him someday.

However, I know there are lots of people who say it and mean it, so... me =/= you. Obv.

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[sumstorm]

At the moment, I would say with 95% certainty that I don't want children. Yes, there's always that 5%, but that DOES NOT give you the license to completely disregard my opinions and determination and state that all I need is a man to change my mind. And besides, by definition, the "right guy" is one who will not require me to reproduce.

LOL. I was a 1-2% possibility of having kids, and I met the 'right' guy...and I can't say that I know I WANT kids, but the idea has its potential now, which never happened before (not even with my late husband.) But just so you know, for me, the right guy isn't requiring it...it is just much more attractive to consider with him being the other person on the journey. Probably helps that he is willing to be the primary caregiver!

I am with twelvetigers. I never wanted to marry again, hubby and I hooked up in what was suppose to be a 'with benefits' friendship....and all this chaos happened...but the good ones....they add a different dimension to the experience! I loved being single, and I am suprised at how much I love being married now.

 

[nyanko]

On this topic, does anyone else find it absolutely INFURIATING when people completely dismiss it when you say that you're really not interested in having kids and assure you that "that will change when you meet the right guy"?

Haha, I'm sure we've had this conversation here before! Yes, it is the worst thing anybody could ever say to me, followed closely by the related "Oh, you'll settle down when the right person comes along.."

Like hell...

 

[Truby]

I often wonder about relationships with classmates while in vet school. I hear all the time that it is like HS all over again.

No! No! No! anything but that, HS was bad enough the first time around.

Anyway, another (happily) single pre-vet here

 

[sumstorm]

Haha, I'm sure we've had this conversation here before! Yes, it is the worst thing anybody could ever say to me, followed closely by the related "Oh, you'll settle down when the right person comes along.."

Like hell...

LOL. Husband said if I ever settle down, he is looking for the pod. He figures that he gets to do all the settling for both of us, so I can do all the wandering. Works well. hmmm....maybe that is why he is hte right person for me!

What, exactly, does settle down mean, anyways?

 

[lalzi22]

LOL. Husband said if I ever settle down, he is looking for the pod. He figures that he gets to do all the settling for both of us, so I can do all the wandering. Works well. hmmm....maybe that is why he is hte right person for me!

What, exactly, does settle down mean, anyways?

Cheers to that! My bf of 5 1/2 years jokes that if I'm not working, or studying or running around doing vet school things, then I'm obviously dead. He is the one getting ready to settle (not marry, I'm only 22, but settle as in turn into an adult) and he is a marine officer! HARDLY settled. I get to be the one moving across the country, or world, following my dream- and I love it!

 

[Pouches Rock]

Whoop! Solo and loving it. I have so many friends that have SO's and are constantly stressed because of them. I know that it isn't always that way but I am happy not to be risking it right now.

I guess my only concern about still being single is sometimes I feel like I missed the 'finding the SO' window as an undergraduate. It seems like I meet less and less new candidate's every year( may have something to do with not being able to date my students) I would like to be in a committed relationship someday and I wonder/worry about how I will meet them. It seems like you have to go to a bar or church which really isn't my idea of good hunting grounds. I have plenty of extracurricular activities but most of the people in them are too old, too young or married.

Oh well, I just won't worry about for the next four years or so

 

[DVMDream]

Haha, I've always had my mom as my role model and I was sure I wanted to have kids just like her.

hmmm... she had 4 kids by the time she was 29...

i'm 24, so that means I should have a toddler and another one on the way according to her schedule i feel so far behind!

i'm going to feel like a grandma by the time i actually get around to having kids!

Haha..that is funny. My mom had 4 kids by the time she was 24. I know I want to have kids one day, but definetly not anytime soon.

 

[sumstorm]

He is the one getting ready to settle (not marry, I'm only 22, but settle as in turn into an adult) and he is a marine officer! HARDLY settled.

LOL! I wonder what the military does.... mine is ex-Army. Iasked where he wanted to live after school, and I expected some vague 'in the mountains' or 'on the east coast' and instead I get a detailed map outlining the places he would like to live on the coastal NW.

 

[lyndaelyzoo]

Haha, I'm sure we've had this conversation here before! Yes, it is the worst thing anybody could ever say to me, followed closely by the related "Oh, you'll settle down when the right person comes along.."

Like hell...

I can't stand this either!!! I guess that singlism is so pervasive in our society that people don't even know that they are guilty of this "crime" of discrimination against singles. I have really never had any desire for marriage or children (except of course my African Grey parrot) and hate it when others assume that I must subconsciously want it or need it to be happy. I have met too many that seem to lose their own identity when they get married and that's a risk that isn't worth taking. And here is an interesting article on marriage and happiness: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200303/marriage-is-not-the-key-happiness

 

[sumstorm]

I can't stand this either!!! I guess that singlism is so pervasive in our society that people don't even know that they are guilty of this "crime" of discrimination against singles. I have really never had any desire for marriage or children (except of course my African Grey parrot) and hate it when others assume that I must subconsciously want it or need it to be happy. I have met too many that seem to lose their own identity when they get married and that's a risk that isn't worth taking. And here is an interesting article on marriage and happiness: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200303/marriage-is-not-the-key-happiness

Isn't saying the risk isn't worth it and that peole lose who they are just the same thing in reverse?

Don't get me wrong, being single is great as is long term commitment, just different. There are some great benefits and challenges to both. However, based on that article...I have to say that even when you are young (22) five years is a heck of a long time to return to normal happiness for a widow/er. And I wonder what the stats are on that? does it change if the loss in expected or not? How about if you are 80? I know just as many couples that die within 6 months of each other. There are studies out there that show long term benefits of long term coupledom, though more so for men than for women.

 

[lalzi22]

LOL! I wonder what the military does.... mine is ex-Army. Iasked where he wanted to live after school, and I expected some vague 'in the mountains' or 'on the east coast' and instead I get a detailed map outlining the places he would like to live on the coastal NW.

Haha yea, mine knows exactly where he wants to live (outside Philly OR outside DC- I'm a new yorker and staying that way) and basically has life planned out whereas I have no idea (other than vet school and being a vet) where I will be in 8 years. Oh well, who knows? Thats why its fun

 

[luplodw]

I didn't before, but do now... (want kids)

I didn't want kids either before, but now i've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and the longer we are together the more I want kids. I couldn't stand the thought of having those annoying screaming munchkins in my house, but now I am looking forward to having a family with my boyfriend and having that unique bond. I'm not saying that everyone will change their minds when they meet the right person, but it definitely happened to me!

 

[Minnerbelle]

all of this baby talk reminds me about the Q + A session at the ohio state interview. some girl raised her hand and asked:

"so how do you go about family planning?"

and the only thought that shot through my head initially was "a condom? birth control? abstinence???" until she turned kinda red and went on to add

"i mean like babies, and getting married and stuff..."

funny how i'm in still in this high school mind set where family planning ONLY equals preventing the start of a family (i mean i dunno any friends my age who are deliberately trying to get pregnant). like i had no idea people even used the term to describe an actual planning of a family... or was this girl just kinda weird??? i mean isn't the condom isle in the pharmacy always labeled "family planning"? well i guess that's where they also sell ovulation and pregnancy tests too...

 

[sumstorm]

"so how do you go about family planning?"

and the only thought that shot through my head initially was "a condom? birth control? abstinence???" until she turned kinda red and went on to add

"i mean like babies, and getting married and stuff..."

funny how i'm in still in this high school mind set where family planning ONLY equals preventing the start of a family (i mean i dunno any friends my age who are deliberately trying to get pregnant). like i had no idea people even used the term to describe an actual planning of a family... or was this girl just kinda weird??? i mean isn't the condom isle in the pharmacy always labeled "family planning"? well i guess that's where they also sell ovulation and pregnancy tests too...

Oh, goodness!

I know family planning is deciding when it is appropriate to have children and such, and is a regular discussion point between my HS and undergrad friends (we have a decade on recent grads) but I STILL would have thought the same things; methods of prevention rather than marriage and such. I think part of that is training. If you are friends with someone having a challenge getting pregnant, family planning will have a whole new meaning!

 

[lalzi22]

all of this baby talk reminds me about the Q + A session at the ohio state interview. some girl raised her hand and asked:

"so how do you go about family planning?"

I'm going to file that under "Things to never ask when being interviewed for vet school". If I were an adcom, that would send a HUGE red flag up for me. Bleh. I'm only 22 so thinking about having babies anywhere in the near to middle to far future makes me sick.

 

[Willowhand]

If I were an adcom, that would send a HUGE red flag up for me. Bleh. I'm only 22 so thinking about having babies anywhere in the near to middle to far future makes me sick.

Why the red flag? I see nothing wrong with a person thinking ahead and asking questions about how a life event that is important to them will be affected by vet school/being in the profession. To me, that indicates foresight and a desire for balance within one's life.

 

[shortnsweet]

Why the red flag? I see nothing wrong with a person thinking ahead and asking questions about how a life event that is important to them will be affected by vet school/being in the profession. To me, that indicates foresight and a desire for balance within one's life.

First day of classes our professor told us that every year at least 4-5 5th year students come down with this horrible disease...and they just haven't been able to stop it

Hehe it was all in jest of course, but the pregnancy/family bug does happen...and everyone seems to make do just fine, just try and plan for it not to be during finals time, they had to rush a girl to the delivery room during an exam once....

 

[Whyevernot55]

RE having babies: BARF. I've felt that way for a good many years now, and I have met the right guy, and I still don't want children. *shock and awe* It makes me insane when people tell me I'll change my mind, so we simply don't bring it up around his mother (my mother couldn't care less what I decide to do, since it's my effing uterus). I'm far too selfish to have human children. My horse and feline kids take up enough of my time!

 

[luplodw]

Why the red flag? I see nothing wrong with a person thinking ahead and asking questions about how a life event that is important to them will be affected by vet school/being in the profession. To me, that indicates foresight and a desire for balance within one's life.

Adcoms don't won't to offer a position in vet school to someone that possibly my have to drop out because of a pregnancy. Offering a position to someone in vet school is super important, and they know that it would be terrible to waste it on someone who doesn't finish school. That's why they only want people who can handle the school work and pass. That's also why they ask about financial situations so that people know what they are getting into and can handle the responsibility.

 

[shortnsweet]

Adcoms don't won't to offer a position in vet school to someone that possibly my have to drop out because of a pregnancy. Offering a position to someone in vet school is super important, and they know that it would be terrible to waste it on someone who doesn't finish school. That's why they only want people who can handle the school work and pass. That's also why they ask about financial situations so that people know what they are getting into and can handle the responsibility.

Untrue...they cannot reject someone simply because they want to have children..or because of financial situations.

 

[Willowhand]

Adcoms don't won't to offer a position in vet school to someone that possibly my have to drop out because of a pregnancy. Offering a position to someone in vet school is super important, and they know that it would be terrible to waste it on someone who doesn't finish school. That's why they only want people who can handle the school work and pass. That's also why they ask about financial situations so that people know what they are getting into and can handle the responsibility.

That makes sense, but the point I was trying to make is that there's no reason to be prejudiced against women who want to have children at some point later in their lives. I know several vets who are also moms or dads, and they're also excellent doctors. It's also fine not to have kids. Asking about how successful vets manage the personal lifestyle of their choice should be considered a good thing.

 

[BlacKAT33]

Why the red flag? I see nothing wrong with a person thinking ahead and asking questions about how a life event that is important to them will be affected by vet school/being in the profession. To me, that indicates foresight and a desire for balance within one's life.

If I get in to vet school, I will have just turned 25. I do think about a family because although I don't want one now, I have wanted to have kids before I'm 30. The yrs just seem to creep by me haha I basically have no option except have kids after 30 or get pregnant the last year of school and hope that i won't get super sick/have problems the 9 months i carry the baby. I wouldnt have the guts to ask about family planning but I can understand why the girl did.

 

[deleted266066]

Re all this baby and family talk... My boyfriend and I really want to have our first baby before I'm 30 (with marriage some time in the next couple years, I'm 22 now). However, he's starting medical school this upcoming fall, and I won't be starting veterinary school until I'm 23 *if* I get in the first time. We're really just hoping I can make it in by the first or second try so that we don't have to wait forever to have kids Having them during school seems like a pretty bad idea if we have the choice to wait. Our friends think we're bizarre for wanting kids so early and worrying about it already, but to each his own right?

Yet again, not being single adds complications and stress to the ordeal lol

 

[jpeterman13]

If I get in to vet school, I will have just turned 25. I do think about a family because although I don't want one now, I have wanted to have kids before I'm 30. The yrs just seem to creep by me haha I basically have no option except have kids after 30 or get pregnant the last year of school and hope that i won't get super sick/have problems the 9 months i carry the baby. I wouldnt have the guts to ask about family planning but I can understand why the girl did.

oh the benefits of being a guy , no pregnancies. Also, being able to pee while standing is pretty awesome too. I don't think I could handle getting pregnant. To be honest, at the moment, I don't think that I would be a good dad. My dog is enough for right now. But, I don't think that there is anything wrong with someone asking about family planning. And I don't think that it should come into consideration when the adcoms make their decisions. However, what they say and what they actually do could be different. Like subconscious driscrimination.
*BlacKAT33, congrats on your Penn interview btw!

 

[sumstorm]

It came up during both NCSU info sessions I attended, and the admissions staff expected it and were quite happy to discuss the possibilities. They actually talked cheerfully about it and how great the school is about managing it, and even referred students to the handbook, talked about pumping milk, etc. We have several non-trads, so maybe that makes them more open to the possibilities.

I just had a great discussion with my advisor about it; she said there are at least four 4th years pregnant now, and there generally are students pregnant each year, except maybe first year, because of anatomy lab. She knows at least one first year had her child right after school last year and offered to call her up for me and find out how she got through anatomy (I thought we couldn't be in lab if pregnant...and family planning is a current topic for my husband and me.) Apparently, we have admitted students while pregnant, and some students come back as early as 2 days later, while others take half a year or a year off, and some split schedule over two years.

For me, I will be nearly 35 on graduation. My husband is older than I am. I don't see it being any better for my career to have kids in my first couple years of working, plus I am considering residency. So with all of that...it is a real possiblity I will be considering kids in the next couple of years...which is terrifying!

 

[lalzi22]

That makes sense, but the point I was trying to make is that there's no reason to be prejudiced against women who want to have children at some point later in their lives. I know several vets who are also moms or dads, and they're also excellent doctors. It's also fine not to have kids. Asking about how successful vets manage the personal lifestyle of their choice should be considered a good thing.

Just to be clear, I don't think the adcoms wil be prejudiced against people who want to have children at some pont in their lives. They may, however, be more hesitant to offer a position to someone planning or thinking about getting pregnant during vet school since both children and vet school are such a time commitment. They may not want to risk a spot on someone who may drop out for children when there are many people who will not have the complication of children while in vet school. I think there are people who can manage kids and vet school and I say KUDOS. They are clearly amazing and TOTALLY deserve a spot in vet school, but many people could handle it and I beleive adcoms have to consider carefully what type of person each applicant is and if they could handle it, if they brought up the topic of planning. Just my two cents.

 

[sumstorm]

Just to be clear, I don't think the adcoms wil be prejudiced against people who want to have children at some pont in their lives. They may, however, be more hesitant to offer a position to someone planning or thinking about getting pregnant during vet school since both children and vet school are such a time commitment. They may not want to risk a spot on someone who may drop out for children when there are many people who will not have the complication of children while in vet school. I think there are people who can manage kids and vet school and I say KUDOS. They are clearly amazing and TOTALLY deserve a spot in vet school, but many people could handle it and I beleive adcoms have to consider carefully what type of person each applicant is and if they could handle it, if they brought up the topic of planning. Just my two cents.

If they take it into consideration in any form, they are conducting their admissions process in a manner that is illegal. Not only is it illegal, it is sexist in the extreme, which I hope is less of an issue in a field quickly becoming dominated by women. Maybe we should only allow orphns comitte to ceiibacy to enter vet school, that way they will never suffer a break up, death of a spouse, or loss/illness of a parent.

If the applicant brings it up, it may suggest a realistic perspective and a willingness to consider the responsibilties and challenges involved.

 

[nyanko]

Really? Why is it illegal or sexist to say you don't want to accept an applicant who actually knowingly plans on undertaking a 9 month long potentially handicapping scenario during their studies over another applicant who doesn't plan on doing such?

edit: I just don't get why there's the rush. It's 4 years, why can't you wait until you're done if you want to have a kid?

 

[cowgirla]

Really? Why is it illegal or sexist to say you don't want to accept an applicant who actually knowingly plans on undertaking a 9 month long potentially handicapping scenario during their studies over another applicant who doesn't plan on doing such?

Agreed...The way I see it, if someone "drops out" due to pregnancy, that affects a schools stats. Some school are all about how good their stats are.
So if it comes down to two applicants equal in every way, same scores, GPA, experience, etc, but one is planning on having a child after second year and the other isn't... I see the adcoms choosing the one who's not -planning- on getting pregnant. Key word being planning, obviously things happen unexpectedly at times.

It's a competitive process, and they have to narrow down the applicants somehow. Who's to say that "acedemic dedication" won't play some small part in that?

(I must have missed something somewhere along the line...when did the thread for single people turn into a baby making thread?!?! That's what I get for not checking every thread obsessively!)

 

[flyhi]

(I must have missed something somewhere along the line...when did the thread for single people turn into a baby making thread?!?!

ummm, yeah. Started as a singles thread , turned into a 'i'm not married, but i have a long term boyfriend, will it be hard in vet school?" to 'i want a baby while in vet school'

 

[aspiringDVM]

(I must have missed something somewhere along the line...when did the thread for single people turn into a baby making thread?!?! That's what I get for not checking every thread obsessively!)

I think I may have been responsible for the hijacking [raises hand guiltily]. If we wanted to go even more off-topic, we could discuss the issue of penalizing soldiers who get pregnant while on active duty.

 

[badcats]

To help with getting this thing back on topic, I think it was hilarious how in the Equine ER book that was talked about on the "favorite books" thread, that some of the female students called their male classmates "vet school hot." Looks like you (no one specifically) are in the money as a single male in this education process, whereas females who want relationships may very well be royally screwed

 

[aspiringDVM]

To help with getting this thing back on topic, I think it was hilarious how in the Equine ER book that was talked about on the "favorite books" thread, that some of the female students called their male classmates "vet school hot." Looks like you (no one specifically) are in the money as a single male in this education process, whereas females who want relationships may very well be royally screwed

I thought that chapter was hysterical as well! Maybe vet schools and say, engineering schools, should have social mixers or something

 

[lyndaelyzoo]

Really? Why is it illegal or sexist to say you don't want to accept an applicant who actually knowingly plans on undertaking a 9 month long potentially handicapping scenario during their studies over another applicant who doesn't plan on doing such?

edit: I just don't get why there's the rush. It's 4 years, why can't you wait until you're done if you want to have a kid?

 

[sumstorm]

I will let it get back to the singles thread, and sorry for the hijack. Either way, it isn't legal, there are quite a few reasons ranging from sexism to seperation of church and state and some interesting presumptions like pregnancy = drop out or pregnancy = failure or pregnancy = attrition issues, or desireing children = able to have children. That doesn't even get into all the other things that could damage a students abilty to complet school. Apparently, at least here, very few students drop out due to pregnancy, and many are back at school within two weeks of giving birth which they generally don't leave until very close to delivery....then again, maybe we should kick folks who have kids out of school...and those who have pets. As for waiting, not all of us are fresh out of undergrad, are going straight into practice after graduation (residency/internships can take 4 years) or are absolutely sure our fertility will last many years past graduation.

 

[lyndaelyzoo]

ummm, yeah. Started as a singles thread , turned into a 'i'm not married, but i have a long term boyfriend, will it be hard in vet school?" to 'i want a baby while in vet school'

I am wondering the same thing!!!!

 

[HopefulAg]

I think it was hilarious how in the Equine ER book that was talked about on the "favorite books" thread, that some of the female students called their male classmates "vet school hot."

Owch....girls start lowering standards out of desperation I guess? Maybe I'm misunderstanding the term.

 

[badcats]

no you got it right, sadly

 

[DickVetPlease]

no you got it right, sadly

haha, that hurts a little. Though i don't think i'm horrid looking, so maybe this will make things easier

 

[badcats]

Didn't mean to hurt any feelings. Desperation isn't really the right word, but I don't know how else to explain it

 

[Caninerepro]

Um yeah well, while probably not legal, it DOES happen and is a consideration to ad comms. Welcome to the real world people. Sorry but true. They are in the business of graduating people, and in vet school missing one week is too much to survive. They do not want to roll people back a year if they can help it, but will w/o question if they need to. So, just do not admit to it. No big deal, I think we all know how to do that.

OK back on topic. This is a SINGLES thread, no more talk of primate reproduction -- yucky poo!

 

[twelvetigers]

There are some hot guys in vet school - I done seen 'em.

Hey, I'm allowed to look.

 

[peachy3214]

There actually is a major problem right now with schools being prejudice for whatever reasons they choose. There is a HUGE lawsuit that i believe is going to be coming to the supreme court about it. Basically a bunch of undergraduate institutions are being accused of being sexist to women(basically letting in under-qualified males in the place of more qualified females) with damning evidence against them(side note: Virginia Tech apparently is one of them). It will be interesting to see how it all plays out.

not that i think this is a problem in vet school but schools generally tend to lean towards increasing diversity so many males statistically stand a better shot at getting into vet school than females.

sorry off the singles topic, just wanted to make a comment about whether or not the prejudice thing is something that occurs at higher learning institutions.

 

[mississippigrl]

I hope I can get one of the few guys in my future class as a hook up buddy. It will be huge for de-stress....We should start a hot guys at interviews sighting like hot Asian guy from last year

 

[lyndaelyzoo]

I hope I can get one of the few guys in my future class as a hook up buddy. It will be huge for de-stress....We should start a hot guys at interviews sighting like hot Asian guy from last year

WOW!!! I sense a promiscuous troll!!!!!!!

:troll:

 

[lazyjayn]

Somehow I sense that vet school for guys is a lot like art school or ballet for straight guys- so much choice they, for the first time, really, get to take the girl part, turning extra picky or into huuuuge sluts.

RE: the spawning thing... I still get the "when you turn xx you'll change your mind" deal- though not from my mom. I just stare at them for a second, then tell them they better hunt down a time machine, because that b-day passed me right by without any desire to cart a future human around inside me- not into parasites.

I got a lot of this last year, expect more in the next couple years. It's just funny. They usually go for "by the time you're thirty". D00d, I turned 31 last week. I guess I'm safe, huh?

their shock at my age is just a fun bonus.

-j.

 

[sirbuckie]

.

 

[lunajett]

RE: the spawning thing... I still get the "when you turn xx you'll change your mind" deal- though not from my mom.

I hope I'm not the only one who read that "xx" and thought "Huh? What, you're XY now? You're going to "turn XX"? How? Sex change? But wait, even that wouldn't change your chormosomal sex..." Then I finally realized "xx" meant an age. Jeez, and I didn't even do that well in genetics.

But anyway, as a guy of probably only average hotness on a good day, I fully support the concept of "vet school hot."

 

[rockefellerVT]

Basically a bunch of undergraduate institutions are being accused of being sexist to women(basically letting in under-qualified males in the place of more qualified females) with damning evidence against them(side note: Virginia Tech apparently is one of them). It will be interesting to see how it all plays out.

Oh awesome... like VT hasn't had enough lawsuits in the past four years lol. I am surprised I havent heard about this one... The results should indeed be interesting