Single vet students

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Yay, other single people!

I'm single. My married roommate, however, does not realize this. So I guess you could say I'm in a relationship that I a) didn't want to be in and b) didn't really realize I was in and c) don't know how to get out of.

I'm currently trying to distance myself (hopefully getting an internship for 3 months in Alaska this summer... way far away...) so I can move out by myself without too much crashing and burning. Unfortunately, the wife is dumb, and the guy is so emotionally unstable and attached to me that when I tried to tell him that I want to move out by myself he started crying and lit his arm on fire. I thought things were starting to sink in for him until today, when he called me 30+ times while I was at the mall and called my mom, who was shopping with me. oi. We're friends, but then one day he started telling me how he was starting to initiate the plans so he can divorce his wife and move out with me. (me: WHAT?!) It's a not fun situation. But I call myself single, since I'm not in a relationship (someone just thinks I am...)

I do spaz out a bit at times, because I'm 24 and I prob won't apply for 2 more years, so that puts me at about 26-27 for my first year of vet school IF I get in. Then I'll be past 30 when I start my career.... and I worry that I won't find a guy and by the time I do and am ready for a family I'll be too ancient to function, lol.

Officially, my boyfriend at the moment has four legs, lots of hair, and no testicles, haha

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Yay, other single people!

Unfortunately, the wife is dumb, and the guy is so emotionally unstable and attached to me that when I tried to tell him that I want to move out by myself he started crying and lit his arm on fire. I thought things were starting to sink in for him until today, when he called me 30+ times while I was at the mall and called my mom, who was shopping with me. oi.

eek. that is crazy!! the arm on fire reminds me of my boyfriend's ex, she threatened to OD on pills so he wouldnt leave her. horrible situation. i hope you get out of it ok... and the guy gets out of it ok too
 
It's a shame I'm not single AND a researcher, lest I'd buy this shirt.

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Unfortunately, the wife is dumb, and the guy is so emotionally unstable and attached to me that when I tried to tell him that I want to move out by myself he started crying and lit his arm on fire.

I think I would have gotten out immediately after this incident! That sounds like a pretty uncomfortable situation, and maybe even a dangerous one. Be careful with the crazies!
 
Didn't mean to hurt any feelings. Desperation isn't really the right word, but I don't know how else to explain it

I call this the proximity factor which is density dependant. I would say that most people will categorize a fellow classmate/colleague as a sexual/ relationship possibility or as a neutral/friend. As the ratio of one sex increases the number of people that would have been assigned to the neutral group are assigned to the sexual relationship group. There is also a time factor some people categorize the specimen with in a few moments of contact but others may take hours or weeks. I also believe that when the proximity factor is in play people may categorize faster so as to get their resources allocated accordingly.

Sorry for the pop dynamics style of answer :oops:
 
Haha, that shirt is fantastic! I must buy one in the near future!

I'm trying to get out of the entire situation as soon as possible, but at the same time, trying to prep the guy for the break so he hopefully won't inflict anymore self harm.

I really thought I had finally managed to ditch all the crazies! Apparently not.

My lease isn't over until August, but I can afford to pay double rent for a few months. My plan at the moment is the keep working on putting some distance between us and broaching the entire idea of me leaving, then come May when all the university kids go home, I can find some place to live (apparently they want to occupy they ASAP for as long as possible) that's close to the university (I've gotten spoiled with being able to walk to class again!) Then I'd pay rent on both places until the lease at my current place terminates.

That's my hope anyways. And I'm hoping the guy will take it as best as he can... and not do anything too crazy. He has said some dumb stuff and threatened to do dumb stuff before, but he has actually followed through on some of the dumb stuff, so I don't know how much of a danger to himself he really is. He drives me crazy and I never, ever want a relationship with him, but he's still my friend and I feel bad having to hurt him in the first place and I don't want him to go psychotic when I leave...
 
Haha, that shirt is fantastic! I must buy one in the near future!

I'm trying to get out of the entire situation as soon as possible, but at the same time, trying to prep the guy for the break so he hopefully won't inflict anymore self harm.

I really thought I had finally managed to ditch all the crazies! Apparently not.

My lease isn't over until August, but I can afford to pay double rent for a few months. My plan at the moment is the keep working on putting some distance between us and broaching the entire idea of me leaving, then come May when all the university kids go home, I can find some place to live (apparently they want to occupy they ASAP for as long as possible) that's close to the university (I've gotten spoiled with being able to walk to class again!) Then I'd pay rent on both places until the lease at my current place terminates.

That's my hope anyways. And I'm hoping the guy will take it as best as he can... and not do anything too crazy. He has said some dumb stuff and threatened to do dumb stuff before, but he has actually followed through on some of the dumb stuff, so I don't know how much of a danger to himself he really is. He drives me crazy and I never, ever want a relationship with him, but he's still my friend and I feel bad having to hurt him in the first place and I don't want him to go psychotic when I leave...

That's really, really scary. Just remember that anything he does to himself is NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. This person sounds genuinely ill. Take care of yourself.
 
I officially became a member of this club today! And I agree St. Samson, that sounds like some dangerous **** you are messing around with, be safe.
 
I'm trying to get out of the entire situation as soon as possible, but at the same time, trying to prep the guy for the break so he hopefully won't inflict anymore self harm.

Don't worry about him harming himself. Don't you see that's exactly how he is keeping you there? Worry about him harming YOU. You need to protect yourself from harm. Serious crazies setting themselves on fire? Calling you 30x a day?! Going after your MOTHER????!!!! And you won't leave unless he won't do it again? You've just handed him control over your actions; he'll never be ready and he's controlling what you do and don't do with these threats of harming himself. So when you actually DO go, look out.

You cannot "reason" with a person who is acting the way this man is acting. Please take this very seriously. Make sure wherever you do go, do NOT tell him. And if he comes around looking for you, call the cops, which actually I think they should be in the loop about this guy already.
 
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i agree wholeheartedly. This guy does have the control as long as you give it to him. Don't worry about hurting his feelings. i would also get the authorities involved and get the heck out of there. And no, i would not worry about paying rent there. If you properly document everything that has gone on so far, i am guessing you will not have any issues with having to pay the rent.

Are you sure NOTHING has ever happened with this guy? :rolleyes: I'm not trying to be accusatory, but just by what you've said, it doesn't make much sense. Who plans a divorce with their wife when there is no indication of anything in the future? Something is missing here......did you guys have deep conversations about his marriage, or his feelings towards his wife, or you for that matter? 2 + 2 is not equaling 4 here.......that's all.

Regardless, i would get out of there asap. Good Luck!
 
Also I'm following TT's advice and searching for a new thread before starting a new one.

I just read this entire thread and my favorite quote
WOW!!! I sense a promiscuous troll!!!!!!!

:troll:
I have no doubts we can turn this small trashcan fire into a destructive dumpster fire
 
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You also miss out on the single veterinarians around here if we're being literal.

They were vet students at one time though so that's like honorary student for life
 
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That single life has some great perks. Lol. Now I Just have to get my bestie to stop trying to hook me up with people every time I go back to Nebraska. She finds it very fun.
 
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Hmph. So I am very single right now. Someone said it earlier but I feel like I missed that part of undergrad where everyone just met their SO's. The worst thing is I'm in a campus ministry and everyone just started dating each other. And now a lot of them are engaged and it's like what about me? Why did that not happen to me? Why did all of my friends meet a SO in college and I'm just suuuuuper single?

Oh well. I'm not super bitter. I'd rather have a dog than a boyfriend.
 
Hmph. So I am very single right now. Someone said it earlier but I feel like I missed that part of undergrad where everyone just met their SO's. The worst thing is I'm in a campus ministry and everyone just started dating each other. And now a lot of them are engaged and it's like what about me? Why did that not happen to me? Why did all of my friends meet a SO in college and I'm just suuuuuper single?

Oh well. I'm not super bitter. I'd rather have a dog than a boyfriend.

Well, you're too young to be engaged. At least IMO. Boyfriend might be nice, but I don't think it'd be much fun being engaged right now, unless you met the suuuuuuuuuuper right person. That's just me, though.

I like to think I'm a perfect mixture of introverted and extroverted--I'm extroverted when I need to be, and introverted as appropriate. I think I'm just introverted enough to be kind of bad at randomly meeting people. I dunno. I know there's nothing wrong with me. I've just kind of had bad luck.
 
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Well, you're too young to be engaged. At least IMO. Boyfriend might be nice, but I don't think it'd be much fun being engaged right now, unless you met the suuuuuuuuuuper right person. That's just me, though.

I like to think I'm a perfect mixture of introverted and extroverted--I'm extroverted when I need to be, and introverted as appropriate. I think I'm just introverted enough to be kind of bad at randomly meeting people. I dunno. I know there's nothing wrong with me. I've just kind of had bad luck.
All of my friends my age are engaged. It's the weird thing about the south is that everyone gets engaged really quickly and have long engagements. So the "typical timeline" is they start dating in the fall and are engaged by that spring.

I need to be dating someone for at least two years before getting engaged. What if I realize I don't like them! That's a big deal!

Also I'm the same way. I have bad luck. You're also smoking hot and brilliant, so idk why guys are idiots to you. :love:
 
All of my friends my age are engaged. It's the weird thing about the south is that everyone gets engaged really quickly and have long engagements. So the "typical timeline" is they start dating in the fall and are engaged by that spring.

I need to be dating someone for at least two years before getting engaged. What if I realize I don't like them! That's a big deal!

Also I'm the same way. I have bad luck. You're also smoking hot and brilliant, so idk why guys are idiots to you. :love:

GEE, thanks! Hahahah. Hopefully that will serve as a bit of an advertisement ;)

And yeah, I tend to forget that people in the south (and midwest?) tend to get engaged/married earlier than folks in the northeast. Don't get me wrong, some of my peers here have done it, but it's fairly uncommon and seen as a bit "weird." I think the at least 2 year policy is a good idea.
 
GEE, thanks! Hahahah. Hopefully that will serve as a bit of an advertisement ;)

And yeah, I tend to forget that people in the south (and midwest?) tend to get engaged/married earlier than folks in the northeast. Don't get me wrong, some of my peers here have done it, but it's fairly uncommon and seen as a bit "weird." I think the at least 2 year policy is a good idea.
anytime! You also have a cute dog so you're the total package. ;) hahaha

The south is a weird place. I have too many roots in Chicago to be sucked in by the south's peculiarity, but it's definitely there!!! Haha
 
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All of my friends my age are engaged. It's the weird thing about the south is that everyone gets engaged really quickly and have long engagements. So the "typical timeline" is they start dating in the fall and are engaged by that spring.

I need to be dating someone for at least two years before getting engaged. What if I realize I don't like them! That's a big deal!


The long engagement thing is also a thing in Nebraska, so I don't see being engaged now as a weird thing. Several friends are already married.

I don't know how long the waiting rule should be. Was with my ex for five years and it didn't go downhill until after year 3.5ish. Now I'm paranoid about timing. Hence liking the single life while at vet school; don't have to worry about the effort of maintaining a relationship.
 
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The long engagement thing is also a thing in Nebraska, so I don't see being engaged now as a weird thing. Several friends are already married.

I don't know how long the waiting rule should be. Was with my ex for five years and it didn't go downhill until after year 3.5ish. Now I'm paranoid about timing. Hence liking the single life while at vet school; don't have to worry about the effort of maintaining a relationship.
I think waiting is a great idea. Being single is great. I will say there are some... aspects of being in a relationship that I miss. But I really do like being single!
 
All of my friends my age are engaged. It's the weird thing about the south is that everyone gets engaged really quickly and have long engagements. So the "typical timeline" is they start dating in the fall and are engaged by that spring.

I need to be dating someone for at least two years before getting engaged. What if I realize I don't like them! That's a big deal!

Also I'm the same way. I have bad luck. You're also smoking hot and brilliant, so idk why guys are idiots to you. :love:
Where are you from? Florida likes to have quick proposals, short engagements, and their first kid on the way within a year of the wedding. I think there's a lot of bias on my end though....I grew up near the Pensacola Naval Air Station and went to school with all of those kids who are following in their parents' footsteps...military relationships tend to happen fast.
 
Where are you from? Florida likes to have quick proposals, short engagements, and their first kid on the way within a year of the wedding. I think there's a lot of bias on my end though....I grew up near the Pensacola Naval Air Station and went to school with all of those kids who are following in their parents' footsteps...military relationships tend to happen fast.
Ahh Oklahoma is more "get engaged the spring of your junior year of college and get married once you graduate".
 
Where are you from? Florida likes to have quick proposals, short engagements, and their first kid on the way within a year of the wedding. I think there's a lot of bias on my end though....I grew up near the Pensacola Naval Air Station and went to school with all of those kids who are following in their parents' footsteps...military relationships tend to happen fast.
Yeah military will skew it. Best friend in high school married a military guy pretty soon after she graduated and they had a kid within a year. Divorced now though. My mom has a couple friends who got married at 19 and are still together. 25 years!
My dad was also military and my parents met, got married, and had me within a year and a half (I'm glad they were on an accelerated timeline for reasons...if they weren't I might not exist).

Meanwhile I'm over here in my 6 year relationship coming up on a year of engagement. And none of my close friends in vet school are currently in relationships (ok one sort of is but also is not...we won't get into it). Everybody's timeline is different :)
 
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