Single vet students

[lyndaelyzoo]

After reading the thread about the best and worst of the last decade and seeing that many of you are married, I wanted to start this thread celebrating singlehood among pre-vet and vet students!!!!! I think that there are more of us than initially perceived....at least I hope .

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[flyhi]

YAY single vet-students-to-be!! I think i might be panicking now if i were in a long-term relationship and moving overseas without SO. I am glad i will not have to worry about dividing up my time while in school with someone who is not and may not be fully understanding of the situation.

 

[DVMDream]

Yay for single vet students!!! I also have a feeling there will be more of us than was originally thought to be.

 

[Coquette22]

Yay for the singles! Really, I'm surprised at how many are married. Since vet school for me (and for a lot of others it seems!) means picking up and moving to another province, there must be some very supportive partners out there!

 

[Bearby]

Yay! It seems like everyone I know is in a relationship of some kind but I am loving being single. I too think that having a SO would just increase the amount of stress that I'm experiencing right now.

 

[aspiringDVM]

Yay for us!!! I was actually just looking at the wedding photos of a girl I graduated high school with and thinking "Jeez, I am so, SO glad I'm single." Several of my close college friends are also in serious relationships, and I am so grateful that my choices about where to apply to (and hopefully attend) graduate school aren't predicated on the career choices and preferences of a significant other. Honestly, you couldn't pay me to acquire a boyfriend right now.
Great thread idea!

 

[deleted266066]

Gah. Having an SO is definitely making my situation plenty more difficult!

My boyfriend (likely soon to be fiancee, just waiting for a ring and graduating at this point ) is in the process of interviewing with / hearing back from med schools, and he won't be making a decision unless he gets into his top choice until March. So, I don't know which of two far apart cities I will work this summer, assuming I can FIND jobs at either location, and maybe then continuing with this job in the fall or getting a new one in the other city. And I can't look for an apartment yet until March. Then I'm only applying to whichever vet school is closest to his med school because we're both tired of being long distance (have been throughout all of college). Rawr!

 

[Bearby]

Yay for us!!! I was actually just looking at the wedding photos of a girl I graduated high school with and thinking "Jeez, I am so, SO glad I'm single." Several of my close college friends are also in serious relationships, and I am so grateful that my choices about where to apply to (and hopefully attend) graduate school aren't predicated on the career choices and preferences of a significant other. Honestly, you couldn't pay me to acquire a boyfriend right now.
Great thread idea!

Someone that I go to school with (not friends with this person just overheard a conversation) said that she has decided to not go to med school and just go to PA or nursing school because her fiance wants to go to med school. Basically, she is giving up her dream of becoming a doctor because her fiance wants to be a doctor. I think that's ******ed. IMO

 

[SocialStigma]

This makes me nervous about applying to vet school.

Currently I'm only planning on applying to ONE school, the only one in my province :/. OVC is actually closer to my boyfriend's university than I am now, about ~30 mins away (compared to the 2 hours that separates our current universities) from his uni, so it would actually be great if I got in there. We already only see each other once every 2-3 months during the school year right now because we go to different universities, and we're both in very intense programs.

I really don't want to apply out-of-province/to the US/overseas but I will if I have to. Which makes it very complicated since I don't want us to be separated by more distance . But at the same time, we've been together since we were 16 and in high school, so it's been 3+ years as we are now 19 (almost 20) and I can't just break it off.

 

[Coquette22]

she has decided to not go to med school and just go to PA or nursing school because her fiance wants to go to med school.

That's so sad.

 

[deleted266066]

But at the same time, we've been together since we were 16 and in high school, so it's been 3+ years as we are now 19 (almost 20) and I can't just break it off.

If by break it off you mean break up... well technically you could always do that. If I weren't certain I would end up marrying this guy then I would definitely break up with him now to get rid of one big obstacle. He's very supportive, and is also limiting his med school choices to places near vet schools for me, but there's no denying we're making some sacrifices to make things work. I just hope that you'll stay together because a great relationship, not just because of the amount of time you've been together Sorry if I misread the connotation wrong!

Ahh if only him and I could have met years later it would make things so much easier. I am sometimes jealous of the single pre/vet students out there.

 

[deleted266066]

she has decided to not go to med school and just go to PA or nursing school because her fiance wants to go to med school. Basically, she is giving up her dream of becoming a doctor because her fiance wants to be a doctor. IMO

I don't understand this at all. Significant others are supposed to help their "other half" reach the best potential they can . Also, plenty of doctor-doctor combos work out just fine. Some say having someone who understands exactly what they're going through is a great means of support anyway?

I wonder if the passion just isn't strong enough for her, in which case it's best if she doesn't go to med school anyway and this is an excuse to make her feel better? If not that's just sad.

 

[SocialStigma]

If by break it off you mean break up... well technically you could always do that. If I weren't certain I would end up marrying this guy then I would definitely break up with him now to get rid of one big obstacle. He's very supportive, and is also limiting his med school choices to places near vet schools for me, but there's no denying we're making some sacrifices to make things work. I just hope that you'll stay together because a great relationship, not just because of the amount of time you've been together Sorry if I misread the connotation wrong!

Ahh if only him and I could have met years later it would make things so much easier. I am sometimes jealous of the single pre/vet students out there.

Yeah I meant break up..technically I know I could break up with him any time but it's not an easy thing to contemplate the longer we're together, is all I meant. I do love him very much and see a future with him, and not just because we've been together for awhile. He too, is my biggest supporter and has always encouraged me to follow my dream of becoming a vet and he's the one who assures me that I can do it when I have moments of self-doubt. We have hopes of becoming married one day as well though it might be naive of us since we're still fairly young.

And I often lament that as well! I told him I wish we had started dating when we were already in grad school and in our 20s haha.

 

[nyanko]

Yay! It seems like everyone I know is in a relationship of some kind but I am loving being single. I too think that having a SO would just increase the amount of stress that I'm experiencing right now.

It does. Like 700 fold.

I will be single by the time I start somewhere next year. Hell, I will be single by a week from now if all goes according to plan. Not married, but in a 5 year long term relationship that is pretty much gonna crash and burn because he wants more than I do from it, and I don't have the time and energy to deal with it along with everything else right now.

 

[flyhi]

Sorry, Nyan. Sounds like you know what you want, but still not easy. I got out of a 6yr relationship not too long ago. I was the impatient one, but now i am relieved I don't have to deal with it.

 

[cowgirla]

Woohoo singles!

(Although I have to admit, sometimes it would be nice to have a SO around. particularly on days like today when I feel crappy and reallly really want someone to go out in the snow and buy me soup )

 

[gilch]

Count me in too. I can't imagine how much more stressful this would be with a SO. I really have to admire the people that can make it through vet school with a relationship intact (esp one that already exists before it starts), but I have no interest in being one of them!

 

[parietal]

Single and a non-trad, which I find especially frustrating because it's so hard to meet people my own age! Right now, though, the lack of stress is VERY nice.

 

[ImaJerseyGirl]

My freshman year of college was filled with Mr.Alcoholic, Mr. Bullrider Wannabe, Mr. Don't Call You Back, Mr."Opps, I already have a GF", and later Mr."Wanna trade favors?" Physics Tutor... So needless to say, still single, still loving it. I think my horse also scares them away because guess what, she takes priority!!! I've watched my friends deal with the stress on top of school, I just don't need it right now.

Also, props to those who've had a long term relationship through school and such!

 

[zeebra44]

My freshman year of college was filled with Mr.Alcoholic, Mr. Bullrider Wannabe, Mr. Don't Call You Back, Mr."Opps, I already have a GF", and later Mr."Wanna trade favors?" Physics Tutor... So needless to say, still single, still loving it. I think my horse also scares them away because guess what, she takes priority!!! I've watched my friends deal with the stress on top of school, I just don't need it right now.

Also, props to those who've had a long term relationship through school and such!

Haha! So you dated Mr. "Oops I already have a GF" too?

 

[zeebra44]

It does. Like 700 fold.

I will be single by the time I start somewhere next year. Hell, I will be single by a week from now if all goes according to plan. Not married, but in a 5 year long term relationship that is pretty much gonna crash and burn because he wants more than I do from it, and I don't have the time and energy to deal with it along with everything else right now.

Nyan, it'll be okay, trust me on that one. I split with my boyfriend of five years recently. He had given me an ultimatum to marry him before going to vet school. I worked too long and hard towards my goals to marry and drag to vet school a guy I didn't really love and want to be with. Now I feel like I have so much more to look forward to..in terms of reaching the career goal of my dreams and finding someone that I truly love in the process. It stings at first, but you'll feel better! I promise.

 

[cowgirla]

My freshman year of college was filled with Mr.Alcoholic, Mr. Bullrider Wannabe, Mr. Don't Call You Back, Mr."Opps, I already have a GF", and later Mr."Wanna trade favors?" Physics Tutor...

Wait, I think we went to the same college....Although, I thought Mr. "Wanna trade favors" was a theater/dance major...

 

[jpeterman13]

Someone that I go to school with (not friends with this person just overheard a conversation) said that she has decided to not go to med school and just go to PA or nursing school because her fiance wants to go to med school. Basically, she is giving up her dream of becoming a doctor because her fiance wants to be a doctor. I think that's ******ed. IMO

That is ******ed. Doesn't really seem like becoming a doctor was her dream if it got pushed to the wayside so easily. SO's go to med school together all the time. The term "husband hunter" comes to mind .

Mr."Wanna trade favors?" Physics Tutor...

way inappropriate. A tutor would get canned for that at my school.

Anyways, I'm single as of ~2 yrs ago. Before that I was in a relationship for almost 4 years. We lived together and all that...HUGE mistake . We got a pooch together (I paid for everything though) and I told her that if she ever tried to take my dog away from me, she would have serious problems. Loving the single life though. I often wonder about relationships with classmates while in vet school. I hear all the time that it is like HS all over again.

 

[sumstorm]

I don't understand this at all. Significant others are supposed to help their "other half" reach the best potential they can . Also, plenty of doctor-doctor combos work out just fine. Some say having someone who understands exactly what they're going through is a great means of support anyway?

I wonder if the passion just isn't strong enough for her, in which case it's best if she doesn't go to med school anyway and this is an excuse to make her feel better? If not that's just sad.

I hope you are right that she isn't actually sacrificing her passion. I do believe that there are occassions when that is necessary, but it seems like cutting a piece of yourself out just to get along with another person in this sort of situation. I think there are days when my husband is more excited and enthusiastic than I am (especially the week before finals!) I am incredibly grateful that he is so supportive, but I do confess that I can see moments where being single would be simpler (maybe not easier, but less factors to balance.)

To all of you who are single, I hope it eases some of the challenging decisions and lends some extra fun to vet school!

 

[sumstorm]

way inappropriate. A tutor would get canned for that at my school.

Hmmm...interesting how schools differ. My school was small enough, and the tutors were often in the same graduating class, that it wasn't considered terribly unusual for tutors and their charges to hook up....though it was generally subtle flirtation until the current semester was over. I think a tutor could have gotten away with saying that as long as it was light hearted, didn't upset the other student, and they didn't push themselves on the person in any other way. Hmm...come to think of it, a lot of tutors were dating other tutors.

 

[jpeterman13]

Hmmm...interesting how schools differ. My school was small enough, and the tutors were often in the same graduating class, that it wasn't considered terribly unusual for tutors and their charges to hook up....though it was generally subtle flirtation until the current semester was over. I think a tutor could have gotten away with saying that as long as it was light hearted, didn't upset the other student, and they didn't push themselves on the person in any other way. Hmm...come to think of it, a lot of tutors were dating other tutors.

I may have misunderstood ImaJerseyGirl. I read it like he was her physics tutor. If she was a tutor as well, that'd be OK at my uni. We had to take this sexual harassment thing before we started and it had a lot about not dating students that you are currently tutoring. Not an issue for me, I'm about 6-7 yrs older than the kids that I tutor .

 

[bruinvetman]

and later Mr."Wanna trade favors?" Physics Tutor...

it always seems to be the physics tutors, same thing with a friend of mine.
I too will be going into vet school without shackles. Its funny though, all the doctors i work with continually warn me not to date classmates in vet school. we'll see...

 

[ckd816]

I will be single by the time I start somewhere next year. Hell, I will be single by a week from now if all goes according to plan. Not married, but in a 5 year long term relationship that is pretty much gonna crash and burn because he wants more than I do from it, and I don't have the time and energy to deal with it along with everything else right now.

I've been through the whole "I'll just stay in this relationship until I move away to vet school" situation and I've got to say that I'm glad I didn't end up doing that! If you know you don't want to be with someone in the long term, why drag out the suffering? Sure, it's easier said that done... and to be honest, I wasn't even the one that had the balls to end the relationship. In the end though, that was the biggest gift that jerk could have given me! I seriously just regret drawing it out for so long when I could have been actually enjoying myself that much earlier.

Singles unite!

 

[nyanko]

I've been through the whole "I'll just stay in this relationship until I move away to vet school" situation and I've got to say that I'm glad I didn't end up doing that! If you know you don't want to be with someone in the long term, why drag out the suffering?

Oh, I totally agree. He's across the country visiting family now, though, so it will have to wait until he gets back. Not to mention that if I get into my first choice school, I wouldn't "have to" move, so waiting would not be a very good option.

 

[LivestockDoc]

Single and a non-trad, which I find especially frustrating because it's so hard to meet people my own age! Right now, though, the lack of stress is VERY nice.

Single and non-trad here too. Don't know where you are, parietal, but go to Meetup.com and type in your zipcode to see if there are any social groups nearby. I just joined a bunch of groups in the Fort Collins area and went on my first snowshoe trip last weekend with a group called "Don't Hike Alone." Met a dozen really nice people. There are groups for all different ages and activities, and Meetup is nationwide.

 

[sumstorm]

I may have misunderstood ImaJerseyGirl. I read it like he was her physics tutor. If she was a tutor as well, that'd be OK at my uni. We had to take this sexual harassment thing before we started and it had a lot about not dating students that you are currently tutoring. Not an issue for me, I'm about 6-7 yrs older than the kids that I tutor .

Oh, no, you read right! I was just saying that at the college I attended, the average tutor had 12-30 charges a term (we all did group tutoring as well.) That was rarely the same individuals each term. So, that means a year would knock 36-120 students a year, say half are the sex you prefer to date, so 18-60. In a school with a class size of ~2000, with 1/4 off campus each term for international study or working internships, it wouldn't be very 'feasible' to tell tutors they couldn't date any of their charges. All our tutors had to be certified, which was a bit of a torturous process, so it was a pretty limited group. I just think it is probably different in a larger university where the population is less concentrated. However, again, if a tutor hit on his or her charge in a way that was jerky or inappropriate, they would likely have more to deal with in terms of getting along with the student body than with admin; it was a pretty tolerant campus, but there was an expectation of respect for fellow students. IE, making a pass is fine, but it shouldn't be in such a way that the student being hit on is made to feel uncomfortable, and if it does, the problems are community. It was always possible for students to get another tutor (and that happened more due to difference in teaching/learning styles.) Again, might be hugely different in a larger school. There just weren't 'fraternization' rules...because our tutors had to go to class along side the students they were tutoring, so not being a 'friend' or potentially an 'SO' wasn't a reasonable expectation.

 

[that70sfan11]

I am single in the sense that I check single for medical forms, but I do have a serious boyfriend

I graduate in May and will HOPEFULLY be attending vet school in fall. He graduates with his masters in computer engineering in december.

we made a deal that he will try to find a job close to where I attend vet school if we eventually move to chicago after I graduate, which is pretty much his dream place to live. I hate the cold, but its a pretty fair deal I'd say, since he's working hard to make sure vet school is a priority

However, unless I don't get it in to vet school, we will for sure be spending at least one semester apart and if that goes well, we'll probably get engaged.

Marriage in vet school would be hard, but props to any people who actually have kids while in vet school! that one I hope will be looooong down the road for me!

 

[flyhi]

I am single in the sense that I check single for medical forms, but I do have a serious boyfriend

I graduate in May and will HOPEFULLY be attending vet school in fall. He graduates with his masters in computer engineering in december.

we made a deal that he will try to find a job close to where I attend vet school if we eventually move to chicago after I graduate, which is pretty much his dream place to live. I hate the cold, but its a pretty fair deal I'd say, since he's working hard to make sure vet school is a priority

However, unless I don't get it in to vet school, we will for sure be spending at least one semester apart and if that goes well, we'll probably get engaged.

Marriage in vet school would be hard, but props to any people who actually have kids while in vet school! that one I hope will be looooong down the road for me!

yeah, no offense, but that is not considered 'single' for the purposes of this post .

Good luck to you though......it cannot be easy being in a hooked up/shacked up/long term/live in/long distance/engaged/obsessed/new/old relationship while in vet school.

 

[RunTheWorld]

I hooked up with my physics tutor too! What is it about them?

I would never give up my future dream just for a boyfriend/girlfriend. That's so sad. Frankly, I can't imagine making any sacrifice involving choosing a vet school just because of my significant other's opinion. But maybe I just haven't found the right person yet.

Also, does anyone have Single Ladies stuck in their head while reading this thread? All the single pre-vets now put your hands up!

 

[flyhi]

Also, does anyone have Single Ladies stuck in their head while reading this thread? All the single pre-vets now put your hands up!

LOL.....i was just humming it to myself as i was reading your post.

 

[Myotis]

I'm single, but I'm actually not loving it. Am I the only one? It might be more fun if all my friends weren't in serious relationships except for my best friend who lives across the country. Being the only single one in a group of a bunch of happily engaged/married/committed people gets old fast

 

[flyhi]

i definitely used to feel the same way, but when i realized they all are not that happy (trust me on this one), i felt much better and relieved to not be dealing with all the BS. It does suck being the 3rd wheel a lot of times, but you will find that a lot of those in relationships are jealous of you and your freedom. The grass is not greener on either side and we all need to learn to deal the best with what we have at the moment - whether it be married or single...

Just my .02

 

[Caninerepro]

Hey wait a minute FlyHi, are you trying to tell me something? I thought we had something special! Now I am getting worried about our "relationship".

Yeah I was actually married and doing the LD thing during grad school and that sucked. She actually cut me loose the day before I got my first acceptance! Oh well I am the first to admit that I was just hanging on for the $. Not cool and I knew it so it is for the best. Now I am poorer but happier. I have no intentions of getting myself back in the dating scene while I am doing vet school. That can come afterward. You never know what might happen but I am not actively looking. Besides, there really is not room on the bed for another human, and my dogs are not about to give up their spots.

For now school has to take first priority unfortunately.

 

[flyhi]

Hey wait a minute FlyHi, are you trying to tell me something? I thought we had something special! Now I am getting worried about our "relationship".

i was wondering if you were going to come play on this thread.... Was pretty sure you had fallen victim to the dating another student scenario within your first few months at school . Glad to see you are holding out for me

how's that MN weather treating you?

 

[DickVetPlease]

woooh single-ness

 

[Myotis]

i definitely used to feel the same way, but when i realized they all are not that happy (trust me on this one), i felt much better and relieved to not be dealing with all the BS. It does suck being the 3rd wheel a lot of times, but you will find that a lot of those in relationships are jealous of you and your freedom. The grass is not greener on either side and we all need to learn to deal the best with what we have at the moment - whether it be married or single...

Just my .02

That is true. And I actually have a friend who is about to leave to study abroad for a year and I'm pretty sure part of the reason she's doing it is to get away from her fiance. Though she'd never admit it. And I can't imagine even being engaged at my age!

 

[cowgirla]

And I can't imagine even being engaged at my age!

I'm 22...and one of my friends is married, been with the guy for eight years, they've got two kids, and another one on the way. Now THAT is scary. And on top of all that, she managed to finish her nursing degree and is currently going for a master's degree, all while working. Seriously? She makes me look bad.

 

[ImaJerseyGirl]

Haha! So you dated Mr. "Oops I already have a GF" too?

Haha he really gets around, huh?

Wait, I think we went to the same college....Although, I thought Mr. "Wanna trade favors" was a theater/dance major...

He's a sneaky one alright. He (my physics tutor) made me realize that some men really are pigs! And I don't know what it is with those physics guys...

I'm 22...and one of my friends is married, been with the guy for eight years, they've got two kids, and another one on the way. Now THAT is scary. And on top of all that, she managed to finish her nursing degree and is currently going for a master's degree, all while working. Seriously? She makes me look bad.

Wow. She must have time management down! Good for her!

I'll just say that TV/Movies have given me unrealistic expectations for the whole relationship thing. Those that stick it out through up and downs have something really special. Going on 22 soon and my mom expecting grand kids, I'm beginning to deal with that pressure. I just tell her she's going to have 4-legged kids until loans are paid off.

 

[Bearby]

My coworkers keep trying to set me up with their brothers or cousins or husband's friend or whatever but I'm really not interested in a relationship at the point in my life and I'm not interested in having kids ever. I love my cats and I want to get a couple of dogs at some point but I don't particularly like kids and relationships are...well, they're ok but I can definitely go without them.

JerseyGirl, my parents are pretty disappointed, my brother and I have both made it known that we don't want kids. I think my grandma is the most disappointed. They'll get over it.

 

[twelvetigers]

Hey now, single ladies (and gents)... if you find a good one, they really don't earn the term "shackles"... you know? If you've been dating shackles, maybe you should reevaluate your dating choices a bit, hmm?

My fella is a big help and I appreciate having his support.

I'm 24, we'll be 7 years together and 3 years married in March. I'll let you guys know if things change, but so far, so good. There are good ones out there!

Sorry for interrupting the single chat, just sticking up for the good ones.

 

[equitate]

it always seems to be the physics tutors, same thing with a friend of mine.
I too will be going into vet school without shackles. Its funny though, all the doctors i work with continually warn me not to date classmates in vet school. we'll see...

Ahh... for me, it was my chemistry tutor. That failed and my grade wasn't as good as it should have been. I was too busy ogling him to concentrate

I'm soon to be starting my last semester of undergrad. My boyfriend of two years graduated a year early and is in Dental school (he makes me look bad). I'm applying to vet schools next fall. He's stuck in the Northeast for about 8 years between dental school & residency - we'll see where I go for vet school! Gulp. (Sidenote: we met in Calc II haha)

 

[HopefulAg]

I'm currently single as well and getting to the point of the 'single cycle' where I'm getting tired of it. Though I have to admit, it'll be a relief to not have to worry about accepting an offer due to whether we can afford the move, she can find work, etc.

 

[aspiringDVM]

Going on 22 soon and my mom expecting grand kids, I'm beginning to deal with that pressure. I just tell her she's going to have 4-legged kids until loans are paid off.

On this topic, does anyone else find it absolutely INFURIATING when people completely dismiss it when you say that you're really not interested in having kids and assure you that "that will change when you meet the right guy"?
At the moment, I would say with 95% certainty that I don't want children. Yes, there's always that 5%, but that DOES NOT give you the license to completely disregard my opinions and determination and state that all I need is a man to change my mind. And besides, by definition, the "right guy" is one who will not require me to reproduce.
Sorry for the rant, I am just so sick of this. I'm used to it from old family friends and acquaintances, but a few weeks ago one of my best friends gave me this speech and I was absolutely flabbergasted (she, conveniently, cited her five years of greater age and experience when I pointed out that she was vocal about never wanted kids either. Sigh). Stepping off soapbox now...

 

[Minnerbelle]

Going on 22 soon and my mom expecting grand kids, I'm beginning to deal with that pressure. I just tell her she's going to have 4-legged kids until loans are paid off.

Haha, I've always had my mom as my role model and I was sure I wanted to have kids just like her.

hmmm... she had 4 kids by the time she was 29...

i'm 24, so that means I should have a toddler and another one on the way according to her schedule i feel so far behind!

i'm going to feel like a grandma by the time i actually get around to having kids!

 

[flyhi]

On this topic, does anyone else find it absolutely INFURIATING when people completely dismiss it when you say that you're really not interested in having kids and assure you that "that will change when you meet the right guy"?

Ummmm.....yeah.....Seeing to it that i STILL get the 'when you have kids' from my dad (knowing i am solo right now) and i could hit menopause any day .......yeah....give it up already. Gonna take a friggin miracle and that's IF i wanted the little buggers.