sorry to get philosophical, but...

[praying4MD]

I heard someone say, "people don't want their doctors to be their friends, they want their doctors to cure them." That was kind of depressing to think about, because I always pride myself on being able to relate to people (corny, I know), but if this is true, then that quality is useless. Do patients really want a "caring and compassionate" physician that will hold their hand and comfort them, like all the admission commitees tell us, or do they want someone that cures them, even if it is with a horrible attitude and unapproachable demeanor? just wondering what u guys thought... something to take your mind off various looming deadlines.

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[rxfudd]

I don't know about the horrible attitude and unapproachable demeanor, but if I go to an emergency room with a knife in my back, I don't want a doctor who can quote War and Peace. I want a doctor who can get a knife out of my back.

 

[Nanon]

When you take a class, is it easier if you're interested in the subject? Do you work a little harder, attend most of the lectures, and are you more inclined to go to office hours?

If you are interested in people (not just the knife sticking out of their back), it shows in the quality of care you are willing to give them. You have to know what's going on in a person's life in order to know how to treat them effectively.

Nanon

 

[Cobragirl]

As a "patient' I ride right up the middle. While I don't necessarily want a doc to "hold my hand"...I do EXPECT them to listen to my complaints long enough to actually have a GOOD idea of what's going on...and THEN cure me!

And I also expect honesty. I have been plagued by "female problems" most of my adult life. I began complaining about these things when I was about 16-17, now, at 30, I now find out that I am probably infertile (which is not a big deal to me since I don't want children...but what if I DID????) I had SEVERAL docs tell me my problems were "no big deal" and "normal" so I never really thought much about them until recently. Now that I'm old enough to really WORRY about cancer, infertility, hysterectomies, osteoporosis, and the like, it REALLY ticks me off that no one has ever taken the time to figure out WHY my body was/is behaving the way it does. Even NOW I don't have answers! At one point I found out I had polycystic ovaries (I had to call the docs office 2 months after the labs should have been back to get the results!) Now I've found out that polycystic ovaries cause infertility and have an increased chance for ovarian cancer (among other things)...they think that's NO BIG DEAL??????

Anyway...I didn't mean to get so personal but it's no wonder so many people distrust doctors! This is one of the MAIN reasons I want to go into medicine...so I can help break this cycle (if possible!)

 

[mpp]

As future doctors I think we will find that it all depends on the patient...everybody is different. Some will need lots of touch-feely kinda stuff while others just need the "technical" cure. In my observations of doctors I have noticed the best doctors (in my opinion of course) are adaptable and determine not only the patient's ailment but what type of care is best. I get excited just thinking about being able to do the same thing one day.

 

[mpp]

One more thing. On the whole "people don't want doctors to be their friends" thing, I sure hope that isn't true. I have some good friends right now and I sure don't want them to dislike me after I become a doctor.

 

[praying4MD]

To truly excel at your profession, you must be interested in it, just like Nanon wrote. And in our case, the profession entails dealing with people. Medicine is not only curing the ailment, but the spirit as well in some cases. You can save thousands of lives, but if you never once know how you impacted one peron's life, what will it all count for when you look back on your career?

At the same time, it kind of gets to me when people say they want to be a doctor because they "want to help people." If that were 100% true, why not go into social work? Oh that's right, the six figure salary is missing. Well, maybe that's a bit harsh, but you get my point.

By the way, I hope things are working out for you now Cobragirl, or are at least better than before.

 

[bigdirt]

Dear Cobragirl,

I am sorry to hear about the inadequate doctors you have had to deal with. This last year I was a "patient" and at the worst possible moment the doctor made me feel like crap (excuse the language). He had absolutely no idea what it feels like to be treated so bluntly. I just wanted to crawl under a rock until it was all over.

Anyway, the reason I'm posting is to ask you how you decided you don't want children? I think that is a very interesting decision and I just wanted to see your point of view. I may be married within the next year or so, so issues like this are suddenly very relevant.

 

[Nanon]

Cobragirl, I wish you didn't live so far away so I could meet you. I just want to make sure we weren't separated at birth.

I'm plagued with the girly problems, too (endometreosis, polycystitis, etc... I'm probably spelling all of these badly). I was 27 when a doctor finally told me, "hmmm, that's probably not right." I don't think it's a coincidence that this was the first private OBGYN I ever saw.

I also don't want kids. Actually, I'm ambivalent, but at 32, married for 7 years, I doubt my attitude is going to change very much.

In my case, bigdirt, not wanting to have kids is pretty complicated. My own childhood wasn't the greatest, I got a late start on being a grown-up, and there are some really bad genetic traits in my family that I don't want replicated. In the end, I decided I'd be a better doctor than a mother, and I know myself well enough to know that there isn't enough of me to do both jobs well.

Nanon

 

[Cobragirl]

Bigdirt,
Like Nanon, my decision not to have children is a complicated one.

I think my first real influence (against) it was watching my own mother and father try to raise two children. They were 16 1/2 and 19 when I was born. My mother got kicked out of school because she was pregnant...even though she was a straight A student, in the national honor society, and taking college level courses. They still did that in 1969....and she never got a chance to return to school (she's taken a couple accounting classes, for work, at a CC but nothing more). My father was "forced" to join the military during the vietnam war just to support us. Then came my pre-teen years, when I discovered that I'd MUCH rather play football with the "guys" than sit around babysitting other people's kids, unlike the rest of my girlfriends (I thought of kids as "screaming demons")!. Once I hit high school I watch NO LESS than 6 of my girlfriends/classmates get pregnant...and subsequently DUMPED by their (longtime) boyfriends. One of those boyfriends happened to be my BEST friend and I was SO disappointed in his actions that I didn't talk to him for 2 years (they were 19 & 20, respectively, engaged, and when they first made the "announcement" he acted like the happiest "daddy" in the world....he cheated with a "dancer" when she was 8 months along).

Now couple all of the above "negative" influences with the fact that I want to travel, don't want to go through labor pains, and don't feel like looking like a whale for nine months (and possibly forever, given my genetic makeup!) and it's easy to see how I came to my conclusion. Luckily, the man I choose to marry doesn't want children either, so it's been a pretty easy decision to live with.

Besides, I DO have a maternal instinct (a STRONG one)...it just happens to be directed at things that have fur, feathers, or scales! I've also changed my "attitude" about kids now that I'm older and almost all of my friends have them. I love to be around kids...for short periods of time. When they get cranky...I send 'em home!

 

[bigdirt]

Cobragirl and Nanon,

Thank you both for your thoughtful responses. You really opened my eyes to many issues I had not thought about.