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Discussion in 'Spouses and Partners' started by miked2000, Aug 2, 2006.
would you get a boob job if your husband/bf want you to, to make it one or two cup sizes bigger?
What a ridiculous question, but I'm going to answer anyway. LOL
I told my husband that if he got a vasectomy that I'd get the girls put back where they were before pregnancy/breastfeeding. I want a guarantee that I won't get knocked up (and have issues w/breastfeeding after surgery) before I'll risk it.
If he was willing to do that, I'd do it.
Why would your husband getting a vastectomy possibly guarantee you wont get knocked up??
I don't get the joke....?
There are no guarantees, obviously, but it sure makes it a lot less likely.
No. Changing outward self for someone else is just not going to happen.
However, having a breast job done because I want one is a possibility in the future. I don't think it would make hubby happier even, it would just be because I would like the way they looked.
I would say hell no to that question! Guys should appreciate women for who they are deep down inside!
say the husband/bf is willing to do any plastic surgery the wife/gf want him to do, let it be vasectomy (not sure exactly what this is), penis enlargement or any type of plastic surgery, because he thinks it's only physical appearance and if by doing this surgery, it makes her happier, then it's worth it.
Would you wife/gf still not wanna do it?
I would be upset if my husband wanted plastic surgery. He's mentioned lipo a few times in the past and I always let him know that I strongly disapprove.
No. I come "as is." Like it or lump it.
Haha. That's funny!
(Disclaimer: I'm not a medical spouse. This topic just caught my eye.)
I might agree to breast augmentation at my husband's request. I certainly wouldn't dismiss it out of hand. The way I figure, one of the ways I honor my husband's promise of sexual fidelity to me is by making an effort to remain pretty for him. I watch my weight, buy dresses and lingerie I think he'll like, and take care of my hair and skin. Obviously, I expect him to return the favor by taking at least reasonable care of himself. In my opinion, it's just logical. Sexual fidelity is a significant sacrifice, and should be honored as such. I suppose you could argue that surgery is "above and beyond" and there's probably some sense to that. But I am honestly surprised by some of the hostile responses to this thread. Out of curiosity, what kind of concessions are you willing to make for your husbands/partners?
he will get a padded bra and he will like it!
kidding aside i would not have elective surgery for anyone. what if their are complications? my husband would feel do bad, and i would be out of commision for too long. no way. my husband loves me too much to put me through that.
now if in 20 years i decide to lift my boobs, butt and face, then i would do it, but it would be for me.
I keep hearing this. I don't understand how it can be for "you." The whole point of cosmetic surgery is to look younger/sexier and therefore more sexually attractive to others. If you're married...wouldn't that wish to be more sexually attractive be for your spouse, not for you?
no the whole point of cosmetic surgery is to improve your looks - for YOUR body image. i would not have elective surgery to be more sexually attractive to my husband - there are other ways to do this that don't invole a knife. i would only have surgery if I felt I needed it. would he like it - you betcha because I would feel better about me. doing something to make someone else more into you is so...highschool.
I actually am morally opposed plastic surgery. I think it is an industry driven by our insecurities and not one I am comfortable with financially supporting. Further, if I had a daughter, I feel that getting plastic surgery would send the wrong message. As though if there is something you dont like about your looks, you should undergo elective surgery to change them. Not only do I think that that over emphasizes looks, but I think it also may impair her ability to accept and love herself as she is. The reality, all the plastic surgery in the world cannot make you beautiful forever.
I do agree with the foundation of your point. If you expect monogamy, it is your responsibility to do your best to look desirable. But I draw the line at anything that puts my health at risk.
(reconstructive surgery is a differnent issue)
Only if he offers to get additional length added to his penis.
(actually, there is more than enough boob here unless he wants "Dolly Parton", so it is actually irrelevant)
I would question any husband's motivations if he is actually asking his wife to get a boob job... I am surprised there aren't any women here who said they would feel insulted! I know I would feel insulted by such a request!
I personally do not feel that sexual fidelity is such a sacrifice. I didn't force my husband to marry me, he asked me to marry him! If he didn't want to be sexually monogamous with me, he didn't have to marry me. He could go out and be a single playboy. So I do not think that's a good excuse...having surgery to keep his attention??!! I do try to look my best for my husband and buy nice clothes, lingerie, and do my hair and makeup when we go out. But I think I would draw the line at surgery by request. I agree with the other poster who said she would do it for herself....the only way I would get any kind of cosmetic surgery would be for my own body image and happiness...not someone else's!
I hate to sound negative, but if you think keeping yourself looking nice will keep your husband from straying, you're just wrong. Look how many famous, beautiful women have cheating partners (Elizabeth Hurley? Christy Brinkley?).
A husband should love and honor his wife so that she wants to be and is motivated to be attractive for him. For example, if after pregnancy she is overweight, he can think, "Oh, she's just let herself go, I can't believe she expects me to be attracted to her like that. I can't even think about having sex with her" Or he can think, "This wonderful woman who I vowed to share my life with has given me the most wonderful gift she can. I should love her and tell her how beautiful she is despite a few pounds of weight." Which approach do you think will motivate her to get back to looking like her old self again?
Just for background--I am married to a wonderful man who is very opposed to cosmetic surgery (way more than I am).
Ask him to get butt implants and see how keen he is on the idea.
Too much pain...too much pain.
Let us pretend thought that she DID get breast aug. because you wanted her to and ended up with complications...oooooooooooh boy...THAT is a set up for distaster! Even a minor aesthetic flaw can be enough to have a psychological impact...
How much would you like an implant that felt like a water bag?
What if there was visible rippling or even just palpable rippling?
Say that there was distortion when she used her pecs (assuming they were submuscular)?
What if she bottomed out or they were uneven?
These are all minor things (except bottoming out- that one is a tough fix) that could really make both of you dislike the boob job. Keep in mind too that it's saline implants the first time around and they feel like what they are -water bags. Silicones feel nice but FDA won't release them without conforming to their specified guidlines (lift, recostruction, pectus excavatum ect)
I have implants...got them because after nursing two children my C's went to saggy aa wrinkled skin with nipples and on my thin body i had no curve I looked like I was anorexic or dying... getting my boobs back made me feel like i was whole again...made me look healthier and gave me the confidence I had for intimacy that i lost when my boobs disapeared. I have little tiny 250cc's...not big...just perfect for my size.
It is a personal decision that shouldn't be dictated by someone else.... I've seen many girls get implants on advice of their significant other and it almost always leads to disaster in their relationship.
You're not married and you dont' have kids-right? I completely lost my breasts by nursing two kids (it happens but it's not always extreme).
I went from a (pre-children) C to a saggy deflated aa (post nursing --just skin and nipple) I got my breasts done for ME because i felt like i lost part of what made me feminine... honestly, I was always a boob girl when i had them (hubby didn't care...he's into cute butts) so when i lost them it was very hard for me.... I was so self conscious and frankly, it disgusted me to have my husband even attempt to touch them they were very unenjoyable for me and they made me sad. He thought they were fine. I could work on my body and make it feel good through excersize and diet but there wasn't a thing i could do to get my boobs back and that was hard for me. My implants were for me...hubby didn't think i needed it but he understood WHY I wanted them and he supported that. Now, all is good, I have my body back, i'm not self conscious about them being touched ect... I've benefited greatly and in the abundance of my benefit my husband has also been the recipient.
So, NO, in short, it wasn't for his benefit- it was for mine......
Mike,- a vasectomy is male sterilization.... getting "clipped"
One would probably want to end the possibilities of getting pregnant before getting implants becuase pregancy and nursing messes up boobs bigtime (although, it IS worth it!) ...
It's different when a SO asks, because it tells me he thinks how I look is not good enough. Yes, I would put effort into making myself more attractive to him, but I would like to make that decision on my own. I'm a 34C, if I was asked to go DD, I would laugh in his face. I wouldn't be with someone like that, but that's just me....
I love plastic surgery and I think the work is fascinating and amazing, but...
bottom line, the person getting the operation is in charge, 100% of the time. If they don't need surgery for health reasons and they don't want it for personal reasons, there is NO WAY they should not do it. For the husband to suggest it is not awful, but unless the wife persues it and follows through with the research and work involved to undergo the operation--FORGET IT!
IMO, if the woman feels unattractive and wants to be improved, its an easy choice and well worth it. If the husband is supportive, thats another "pro," but not a reason for surgery.
so you wouldn't perform a circumcision (that was your thread, right?) but you'd mutilate your own body to please your husband? mmmkay...
Are you an American Woman?
i saw this thread awhile ago, and didnt post because i thought it was ridiculous. and here it is, a month later, still at the top of the list. and i haven't seen anyone post what i would like to say yet, so i guess now i have to join in.
ABSOLUTELY NOT. what a stupid question.
As a guy, I happen to think big breasts are grossly overrated.
Big breast are over rated eh what about having something that just resembles a breast with a hint of firmness? Would you take flabby flapjack style wrinkled skin with a nipple attached? Just curious...because it's not always about big, sometimes it's about filling that skin back up due to life circumstances, most notably: children and weightloss.
Just a thought
You have a point......
Same here, I rather they are nice and firm than huge.
But I noticed a lot of "me me me" everything is about "me" from the women in this thread.
Um, yea, cause it's "me, me, me" undergoing the surgery with possible complications. So, while I also don't need breast augmentation (although the girls have shrunk in recent years) I would want to know that whatever elective surgery I decided to get was being done because I'd thought about my needs over other's preferences for the way my body looks.
I agree with you. My wife's are on the smaller size, but they are nice and are appropriate for her body. Big one's are nice, but where they usually end up is not always so pleasant. I would never ask my wife to get implants. I agree that this a woman's decision. I guess it's ok for the husband/bf to ask, but don't get upset when she dropkicks you in the family jewels.
Yep. Why do you ask?
Well, sure. Obviously. I wasn't intending to suggest otherwise.
My point was simply that, I appreciate my husband's gift of sexual fidelity (and he appreciates my gift of faithfulness to him) and one of the ways I show him gratiude and love is by making a smallish effort to remain pretty for him. I think we women kid ourselves when we refuse to acknowledge the role of visual stimulation in a healthy monogomous relationship. Plastic surgery may be over my personal line, but then again, it may not. It hasn't come up, so I've never had to consider it in any kind of real way. But I'd at least consider it. (And if my husband got fat, and I asked him to consider losing weight for me, I'd expect him to take my request seriously. Only fair.)
Personally I'm not a big fan of cosmetic surgery. For one thing, 99% of people look better with what nature gave them. Besides, who really wants to grab a hold of some hot, sexy, surgically-implanted rubber? How is that attractive? If he doesn't care if they're real or not why not tell him to get his own set? Aside from the fact that he'll never get any work done again that is...
On a more serious note, you're taking your life in your hands every time you go under the knife. It's not a huge risk, but it still isn't one I'd reccommend anyone take unless there was some kind of health-threatening condition. I think it's a bit of an unfair request for someone to ask their partner to take this kind of risk (and to endure the post-surgical pain/recovery and the potential for other complications) so they have something bigger to put their hands around.
My advice would be to leave them alone. They're probably fine the way they are.
...after reading your post that there was a woman who lived near me who had complications and eventually died because of complications from implants. It wasn't an immediate death, but her husband took care of her for a long time and they had a really difficult struggle. I promised myself then that I would't get any work done.
However, that was many years ago, and after having a baby and nursing, the girls could really use a lift. If $$ wasn't an issue, I'd seriously consider perking up.