Surrealism in the ED

[docB]

Seems like there's been more weirdness in the ED lately. Just in the last couple of weeks:
- Private car drove up to the back door with a dead guy (who woke up with narcan). Car was full of transvestites.
- Pt with complaint of diarrhea pulls hand full of bowel movement out of pocket to show triage nurse
- Pt whose G tube had fallen out started eating the stuff coming out of the hole while I'm taking his history. "MY GOD! Youv'e got to stop that right now!" I screamed. He though it was normal. He wasn't delayed or anything either.
- Pt brought from jail with story from jail nurse, "He cut out one of his testicles and flushed it down the toilet."
- Pt presents to triage complaining of pain in knees then goes to bathroom and slashes wrists.
- Different patient who had slashed own wrists freaks out when he finds out he won't get a plastic surgeon to sew up his handiwork.
- Person nabbed by security for trying to steal a crate of bedpans.
- Woman objects to notion that she's a danger to herself. Gets so frustrated she bashes her head against the floor and tries to bite her own arms.
- Man gets face stepped on by bull in amateur bull fight (I'm not making this up)
- Drunk man walks (yes just walks) into tree. Suffers Cspine fracture and central cord syndrome.
Most of these were not even on full moons.

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[Sheerstress]

Yech!

Where do you work?

 

[sundermannr]

Man, I am criyin' I'm laughin so hard. I just lost the financing on my house where I am supposed to be starting residency. I needed that. Thanks bro.
rks

 

[docB]

I met a very interesting gentleman on Saturday. Apparently his idea of a fun evening is to get really drunk, take somewhat more than the prescribed amount of heroin and pass out in the gutter. After EMS dragged him into the ER ("Hey Doc! Boy do we have one for you! Ha ha ha!" Bastards) he became irritated with his nurse for some perceived slight and started yelling. Well, the yelling didn't sit well with the heroin, alcohol, narcan and God knows what else was coursing through his veins so he also began to vomit. The interesting thing is that he just kept on yelling at us while he was vomiting. He never missed a beat. He was continuing to curse all of our families and the vomit was just welling up. It did make the shouting a little more muffled. It was kind of like a really creepy and bizarre version of the guy everyone knew in grade school who could burp the ABCs.