Has anyone else on this forum been suspended because of subpar academic performance during their first year of medical school? (Please redirect if in the wrong place, just don’t know where to post this.)
spark notes:
Pre 2016:
12-17 homeschooled, 17 private school, 17 community college honors, 18-20 state school (music and psychology initially, decided to graduate with sociology.) 21-23 MS Physiology (with a medical leave)
Post 2016: finished MS online, worked as an IFT EMT, spent a year building a student EMS unit at my undergraduate that was shuttered by dirty deal between local city FD and my university (I was the fourth attempt in 3 years to start a student EMS club.) Started online MA in Social Entrepreneurship and Enterprise (fancy MBA) got halfway through and decided not my cup of tea (a lot of bull**** social justice commentary that had nothing to do with running a business, tuition $$$) Worked as a barista and a photographer, too.
COVID: quit EMT job, hunkered down at parents house, took MCAT twice (through COVID cancellations) applied to over 40 schools (MD and DO) Applied to maybe a hundred medical and research jobs in the interim- got an interview at VICE for research, too. Becomes moderator on medical discord with over 10k students on board, becomes community leader. I’m FIRED UP. I’m ready.
Post 2021:
moved across country week before school, settles into apt. and starts medical school. 4 week blocks with MC tests (80 questions by 5 teachers, midterm and final - heavyweight of our grade count) P/F I’m nailing 65, 68, 53… grades are going down, I stop going to gym. I adopt Anki. I stay at library until midnight, get back up at 5am to study until 730am and go to school.
I am killing it it in-class quizzes at this point (Week 10.) I get called into committee and informed I failed block 1 by 5%. My question about exam retake is ignored. Remediation over summer is recommended. I comply and study harder. block 2, same thing. I get accommodations and take my exams in the testing center. My inability to test-take still just destroys me. I do exam reviews and find all my wrong answers were last minute panic-changes. Exams I thought were 85s end up being mid 60s. Schools ARC officer give me a blank excel sheet and says “make a schedule.” (This is super stupid if you think about it, says I must not be studying hard enough.) They assign me a ‘peer tutor-‘ an OMSII who is also prepping for exams; our schedules don’t align. School informs me that they have to decide whether or not I can remediate two courses over summer or repeat the year (10/ 8) says I’ll hear back within four days. (This is the beginning of block 3.) Silence for weeks. I’ve already taken midterm and pre-final visual anatomy test. Final is in two days. It’s 10/26 and they hand me a letter telling me I’m suspended, not even by the dean but some other lackey who apologies for the more than two week delay. Letter is obviously written by attorney who claims I did not utilize the school’s ‘aggressive interventions‘ to help me. I’m in tears at this point because I’m due to take block three final in 48 hours and I have a passing grade. I ask three different officials if it’s worth taking, including professor. No clear answer; “If you want!” (People, I’m not taking this for fun! Will the grade count??)
Thursday and Friday I stay home. I get an email asking why I didn’t take the final. I’ve already had two meetings confirming I‘m leaving and returning next year. At this point I feel completely abandoned by a school whose right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing. My cohort takes me out for lunch. We all hug each other and they tell me they’ll support me when I return next year. I’m happy.
Am I a fool to return to bat again next year? Should I consider other careers? The more I consider medicine and repeating this year the more anguish I feel but I feel complete apathy to any and all careers now. I want to curl into a ball and play videogames. I have many MD and PhD mentors telling me it’s ok and to keep it up. I am an extremely talented photographer and I could easily go to film school or start working on coding like all the geeks… but I don’t know what my heart‘s telling me to do anymore. I feel empty and confused.
Has anyone returned after floundering? If you’re reading this, why did you go back? I was told by dean, “you’re not dumb, we know you can do this.” However, *I feel dumb.*
spark notes:
Pre 2016:
12-17 homeschooled, 17 private school, 17 community college honors, 18-20 state school (music and psychology initially, decided to graduate with sociology.) 21-23 MS Physiology (with a medical leave)
Post 2016: finished MS online, worked as an IFT EMT, spent a year building a student EMS unit at my undergraduate that was shuttered by dirty deal between local city FD and my university (I was the fourth attempt in 3 years to start a student EMS club.) Started online MA in Social Entrepreneurship and Enterprise (fancy MBA) got halfway through and decided not my cup of tea (a lot of bull**** social justice commentary that had nothing to do with running a business, tuition $$$) Worked as a barista and a photographer, too.
COVID: quit EMT job, hunkered down at parents house, took MCAT twice (through COVID cancellations) applied to over 40 schools (MD and DO) Applied to maybe a hundred medical and research jobs in the interim- got an interview at VICE for research, too. Becomes moderator on medical discord with over 10k students on board, becomes community leader. I’m FIRED UP. I’m ready.
Post 2021:
moved across country week before school, settles into apt. and starts medical school. 4 week blocks with MC tests (80 questions by 5 teachers, midterm and final - heavyweight of our grade count) P/F I’m nailing 65, 68, 53… grades are going down, I stop going to gym. I adopt Anki. I stay at library until midnight, get back up at 5am to study until 730am and go to school.
I am killing it it in-class quizzes at this point (Week 10.) I get called into committee and informed I failed block 1 by 5%. My question about exam retake is ignored. Remediation over summer is recommended. I comply and study harder. block 2, same thing. I get accommodations and take my exams in the testing center. My inability to test-take still just destroys me. I do exam reviews and find all my wrong answers were last minute panic-changes. Exams I thought were 85s end up being mid 60s. Schools ARC officer give me a blank excel sheet and says “make a schedule.” (This is super stupid if you think about it, says I must not be studying hard enough.) They assign me a ‘peer tutor-‘ an OMSII who is also prepping for exams; our schedules don’t align. School informs me that they have to decide whether or not I can remediate two courses over summer or repeat the year (10/ 8) says I’ll hear back within four days. (This is the beginning of block 3.) Silence for weeks. I’ve already taken midterm and pre-final visual anatomy test. Final is in two days. It’s 10/26 and they hand me a letter telling me I’m suspended, not even by the dean but some other lackey who apologies for the more than two week delay. Letter is obviously written by attorney who claims I did not utilize the school’s ‘aggressive interventions‘ to help me. I’m in tears at this point because I’m due to take block three final in 48 hours and I have a passing grade. I ask three different officials if it’s worth taking, including professor. No clear answer; “If you want!” (People, I’m not taking this for fun! Will the grade count??)
Thursday and Friday I stay home. I get an email asking why I didn’t take the final. I’ve already had two meetings confirming I‘m leaving and returning next year. At this point I feel completely abandoned by a school whose right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing. My cohort takes me out for lunch. We all hug each other and they tell me they’ll support me when I return next year. I’m happy.
Am I a fool to return to bat again next year? Should I consider other careers? The more I consider medicine and repeating this year the more anguish I feel but I feel complete apathy to any and all careers now. I want to curl into a ball and play videogames. I have many MD and PhD mentors telling me it’s ok and to keep it up. I am an extremely talented photographer and I could easily go to film school or start working on coding like all the geeks… but I don’t know what my heart‘s telling me to do anymore. I feel empty and confused.
Has anyone returned after floundering? If you’re reading this, why did you go back? I was told by dean, “you’re not dumb, we know you can do this.” However, *I feel dumb.*