"Things I learn" & "Medicine Sucks" discussion thread

[Katydid]

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I learned to be very, very thankful for our local doctors yesterday.

We moved from CA to KY in November, for background. DH lost his job, and we lost our house.

He got hired by the local county jail, where my brother also works, and had to take a physical yesterday.

I am so grateful that he had a physical scheduled yesterday. Thank God. The doctor took his blood pressure twice, and it was dangerously, dangerously high. 213/120 high. Stroke/heart attack territory high.

She sent him directly to the local clinic, to an awesome doctor, who checked him out, and sent him for an EKG. Thankfully, the left side of his heart is showing, according to the EKG, slight thickening, but no serious damage. And, he was prescribed hypertension medication, for the first time.

Now, why am I thankful for the local doctors, and not the doctor that used to see him? Because KP doctors, who saw him with blood pressure of 185/100, never did anything, and totally blew off his concerns about his blood pressure. I'm sorry, but isn't 185/100 high? Oh wait, YES IT IS.

As long as he is under the care of a doctor, which he is now, and is on medication to control his blood pressure? He'll be cleared to work at the jail. And, when we have insurance again, the new doctor will send him for an ultrasound on his heart, to see the extent of any damage to his heart, but he assured us that he would be fine, because we caught it before he had a heart attack or a stroke.

Thank you to those of you who are like our local doctors, and give a crap about your patients. Thank you so much. Because of our local doctors, and doctors like you? I get to have my best friend, the love of my life, around for a lot longer. Thank you.

 

[4everstudentmd]

this is one from a neonatologist I heard when her patient's mother was praying for a miracle...

"God giveth extra chromosome, God does not taketh away."

 

[Stryker One]

Weren't there a few more posts here a couple of days ago?😕

 

[Apollyon]

I don't know who does it, but someone comes in and move them to the "Things I learn" discussion thread without comment. If it's not from a doc, it's going. This post itself will be moved, by persons unknown.

 

[Winged Scapula]

Weren't there a few more posts here a couple of days ago?😕

I don't know who does it, but someone comes in and move them to the "Things I learn" discussion thread without comment. If it's not from a doc, it's going. This post itself will be moved, by persons unknown.

Yes, the get moved to the "Other Things I Learned" thread which is for non-health care practitioners

 

[geogil]

.

 

[Ray o Moonlight]

Hmmm.... what have I learned from several years working in an ED?

1. A blood alcohol of 2.3 will NOT prevent the rattlesnake you're messing with from biting you.

I sure as hell hope you mean a BA of 0.23!

 

[Ray o Moonlight]

A REALLY GOOD way to get high is to inconspicuously steal the drugs from the cardiac crash cart in the ED, then later try to inject them into your veins...hmm wonder why he ended up back there again later with no pulse?

We had some teenagers steals some of the RSI paralytics. When the staff noticed they sent PD/SO to the house, kick down the door and the retrieve them RIGHT before they injected them... That close to a Darwin Award

 

[Ray o Moonlight]

OMG! Violet Blue read/s this thread? That is so cool. I love her writing. Here's to freaky people; I look forward to treating freaky people later in my career.

My heart swells with SF pride... we are sure proud of our FB excellence!

 

[Ray o Moonlight]

Thats foul.


The surgical intern will inform you that your three day history of bowel obstruction should resolve once they remove the shampoo bottle from your distal colon.

"OK, thank you"

Sounds familiar...


 

[Ray o Moonlight]

Always wrap up your small child with a fever in three layers of clothing, the winter coat, and two blankets while sitting in the waiting room. That won't make the fever go up. Not at all.

We call them fuzzy blanket fever babies or FBFB. Poor bastards can't tell their ******ed parents that their core temp 105deg. and they are a stones throw from a febrile seizure...

 

[Ray o Moonlight]

I learned that letting your 5 yo kid ride around on an ATV without a helmet is really as bad an idea as it sounds.


(No, I don't know what she was thinking either.)

During my FIRST week at my first job at a small trauma facility we had a mother/daughter set come in. Seems that they were drinking heavily while camping at the Dunes. The pair hops on their ATVs and head out. Long story short the daughter heads over a dune and spins out. The mom tries to stop and flies over the handlebars into the daughter's ATV. The mom's maxilla and mandible are now resting where her frontal lobe was... The full headed helmet was concave (I still don't understand extrication in these types of cases). She earned herself a cric (the attending was in the mood) and I wish I had a copy of the CT (again the AIT thought it would be fun). 🙁

 

[Ray o Moonlight]

Just got out of the room of a 22 y/o male who has a chief complaint of "I feel funny after smoking pot and doing a hit of ecstasy." Idiot... Now I don't care what you do at your house, just don't do something that makes me have to see your loser face in my ER during a busy night shift. Especially if you are a self pay.

We had a guy "celebrating" his 21st birfday with smoking an ounce of weed and eating "just one" pot brownie (brownies that he bought from "some guy on the internet"). Call EMS because he is paranoid and is convinced he is dying.

I guess that "some guy on the internet" might supplant some dude in the future...

 

[Ray o Moonlight]

It is okay to be transported by EMS to the hospital for a mosquito bite.

We had a 35F transported to us for a sore throat x 1 HOUR. Pt speaks fulls sentences clearly. Pt education comes to mind.

 

[Lizzlemermaid]

I motion her to lean closer. "You don't have a prostate."
Her eyes get wide. "What happened?"
"You're a woman."
Explanation followed. She turned beet red.

🤣

 

[Kittenmommy]

I motion her to lean closer. "You don't have a prostate."
Her eyes get wide. "What happened?"
"You're a woman."
Explanation followed. She turned beet red.

Yeah, well... some women may have prostates. 😕

 

[omgwtfbbq?]

I think that's one thing on the differential list I won't be sharing with my attending. Hmmm......😱

 

[fab4fan]

1: It can take around 2 hours to cut your hand off at the wrist with a butter knife.

2: If you pull your own tooth out with pliers, you will probably get an infection and need to go to hospital.

3: It's probably a good idea to dress like Iron Man when using angle grinders.

4: When you get drunk with your bogan mates and decide to steal an old Ford Falcon sedan with no head/taillights from a wreckers yard and then crash it into a power pole you will probably die.

That was a terrible waste for that Ford Falcon. Those sedans were cool in their own way.

 

[orderly]

That was a terrible waste for that Ford Falcon. Those sedans were cool in their own way.

I think you might be thinking of the American Falcon made in the 60's (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_Falcon_(Americas)). The car that was crashed was an old version of the Australian version (this model: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_XE_Falcon). The current model looks like this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_FG_Falcon

Today, I also learnt that its not a good idea to jump from the balcony of your second story unit to that of the unit on the ground floor below. You usually end up fairly hurt.

 

[da8s0859q]

I learned that when playing "feed the elephant" with your slightly intoxicated yuppie wife to never allow her to insert a sizable peanut into your urethra.

Oh man.

 

[orderly]

I learned that when playing "feed the elephant" with your slightly intoxicated yuppie wife to never allow her to insert a sizable peanut into your urethra. Additionally, you should not allow her to exacerbate the problem by attempting to "fish it out" with a "coffee stirrer"(swizzle stick). This will lead to a nasty urinary obstruction & cause harsh rebuke from the urologist at 4:30AM.

That's one thing I don't get; the fascination people have placing things in those spots that aren't meant to be there! We have these sisters at my hospital who are frequent fliers and they attempt to out-do each other by placing things inside themselves and having to come to us for them to be removed.

 

[orderly]

4: When you get drunk with your bogan mates and decide to steal an old Ford Falcon sedan with no head/taillights from a wreckers yard and then crash it into a power pole you will probably die.

This is what the car looked like at the crash:

 

[Katydid]

That's one thing I don't get; the fascination people have placing things in those spots that aren't meant to be there! We have these sisters at my hospital who are frequent fliers and they attempt to out-do each other by placing things inside themselves and having to come to us for them to be removed.

IANAD, nor do I play one on television, but I don't get it, either. I'm sorry, but foreign objects and places they do not go, well, to me anyway, = DO NOT WANT! I mean, anything you can purchase at Home Depot does not turn me on. No, no, no. I don't want sharp objects in places they're not meant to go. I don't want BLUNT objects in places they're not meant to go.

Just don't get it.

 

[jinx520]

That's one thing I don't get; the fascination people have placing things in those spots that aren't meant to be there! We have these sisters at my hospital who are frequent fliers and they attempt to out-do each other by placing things inside themselves and having to come to us for them to be removed.

EWWW! Maybe they have secret crushes on the ED staff.

 

[orderly]

IANAD, nor do I play one on television, but I don't get it, either. I'm sorry, but foreign objects and places they do not go, well, to me anyway, = DO NOT WANT! I mean, anything you can purchase at Home Depot does not turn me on. No, no, no. I don't want sharp objects in places they're not meant to go. I don't want BLUNT objects in places they're not meant to go.

Just don't get it.

So that doesn't mean candles don't turn you on? (Assuming you can get those at Home Depot and that they are being used for their proper purpose).

EWWW! Maybe they have secret crushes on the ED staff.

Lucky for them then, ey?

 

[jinx520]

Lucky for them then, ey?

I thought EVERY man wants a freak in the bed.

 

[Katydid]

So that doesn't mean candles don't turn you on? (Assuming you can get those at Home Depot and that they are being used for their proper purpose).

Candles being used for their proper purpose, i.e. setting the mood = AWESOME.

Candles being used for insertion into various no-no places = BAD.

So, candles can be a turn-on....if they're being used to set the mood, and not as, well, other things. And no, I'm not into hot wax, either, lol!

I was just thinking of things like screws, nails, wire, light bulbs, and so forth. These are not turn-ons. In fact, they just make me a little squeamish when thinking about WHERE these things have been found in the human body before!

 

[spyderdoc]

I don't know who does it, but someone comes in and move them to the "Things I learn" discussion thread without comment. If it's not from a doc, it's going. This post itself will be moved, by persons unknown.

Me 🙂

I posted a while ago that I would be doing this to keep the "things i learn" thread from getting cluttered with comments

 

[fab4fan]

I think you might be thinking of the American Falcon made in the 60's (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_Falcon_(Americas)). The car that was crashed was an old version of the Australian version (this model: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_XE_Falcon). The current model looks like this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_FG_Falcon

Big difference. Now I'm less sympathetic.

 

[Katydid]

EMT-B in training now. Found this thread and wondered if everyone here was keeping Darwin at bay, or were some of these stories from a fertile imagination. Instructor let me know that yes, people are that stupid and the bad part is, they breed.

Best story I heard was;

By all means, have a some EToh, roll your pickup, and before the EMT's arrive, walk home to take a shower to wash all the blood out of your hair and comb your hair. Want to look good, don't we!
Have your SO drive you back to the accident scene, let the perplexed EMTs ,who are wondering where the patient is (all the blood everywhere is a giveaway that there is one somewhere) know it was you driving the pickup. Refuse transport or even examining, but finally relent. Have the EMT examining you, call their boss to "take a look". Let the "boss" have a look, call your SO in and "insist" to transport you because of the hole in the top of your skull and they are looking at your brain.

Holy crap on crap.....

 

[Kittenmommy]

Holy crap on crap.....

Inorite?? I was like, "Wait, the guy washed and combed his hair while his brain was exposed?". I just... there is not enough 😱 in the world for this!

 

[Katydid]

Inorite?? I was like, "Wait, the guy washed and combed his hair while his brain was exposed?". I just... there is not enough 😱 in the world for this!

That was some pure WTFery, right there.

Washed and combed his hair...while his brain was exposed. While his BRAIN. Was EXPOSED.

Definite serious case of WTF.

 

[Kittenmommy]

Washed and combed his hair...while his brain was exposed. While his BRAIN. Was EXPOSED.

 

[jbar]

 

[howelljolly]

Thats disgusting. He's going to get an infection and die.

 

[chimichanga]

...don't leave your money in "the other purse" for more than week. It won't come out looking like money and due to the smell, no one is going to accept it as payment...

If you wash it enough, the pizza guy will take it...

We did it twice many years ago 😍

both were strippers

 

[Apollyon]

Thats disgusting. He's going to get an infection and die.

No he's not. Cockroaches. We've seen these injuries where I am now - people with open skull fractures who come in 2 or 3 days later, and survive without sequelae.

 

[Powdermonkey]

No he's not. Cockroaches. We've seen these injuries where I am now - people with open skull fractures who come in 2 or 3 days later, and survive without sequelae.

Its the inverse rule... The less your worth to society, the dumber the things you can do and not die.

 

[Apollyon]

Its the inverse rule... The less your worth to society, the dumber the things you can do and not die.

The Law of Inverse Value has been quoted on this thread for years - may have even been on the first page. (It was a guy DocB saw that got hit with a 2 x 4 and was just DEAD - he couldn't believe it, and was looking for other things, 'cause you just can't kill these people.)

 

[Powdermonkey]

The Law of Inverse Value has been quoted on this thread for years - may have even been on the first page. (It was a guy DocB saw that got hit with a 2 x 4 and was just DEAD - he couldn't believe it, and was looking for other things, 'cause you just can't kill these people.)

Yeah, thats the one. I originally heard it from an attending while I was still working as an ER Tech before school started. Scary true though.

 

[docB]

The Law of Inverse Value has been quoted on this thread for years - may have even been on the first page. (It was a guy DocB saw that got hit with a 2 x 4 and was just DEAD - he couldn't believe it, and was looking for other things, 'cause you just can't kill these people.)

Holy crap! I was just talking about that guy a few days ago. I still remember him. I must have rolled him over 3 times because I couldn't believe he didn't have bullet holes or something we didn't see. I didn't realize I'd ever written about him.

 

[Alsadius]

I'm not a medical professional in the slightest, I got linked here from an economics blogger back last July, and I've actually been reading this thread for about seven months now. Every time I need a laugh, a groan, or an "Oh god, that's nasty!", I boot up this thread and read a few pages. It's been epic, and I thank you all for all your crazy stories.

Sadly, however, I've run out of content, so there's only one thing I can do now - reset my bookmark to the first page, and start reading again. By the time I get back here, I want there to be at least five more pages of stuff, okay? 🙂

Also, should I ever find myself in an ER, pizza is definitely on the menu. You guys have totally earned it.

 

[morning]

I'm not a medical professional in the slightest, I got linked here from an economics blogger back last July, and I've actually been reading this thread for about seven months now. Every time I need a laugh, a groan, or an "Oh god, that's nasty!", I boot up this thread and read a few pages. It's been epic, and I thank you all for all your crazy stories.

Sadly, however, I've run out of content, so there's only one thing I can do now - reset my bookmark to the first page, and start reading again. By the time I get back here, I want there to be at least five more pages of stuff, okay? 🙂

Also, should I ever find myself in an ER, pizza is definitely on the menu. You guys have totally earned it.

TOTALLY agree with this guy (although I am an aspiring medical professional)...this is hands down the best thread on SDN. I've been SLOWLY making my way through it and am finally on page 19. If you ever notice, during daytime there's usually around ~10 guests reading this thread, and around ~30 people reading the EM forum total. That means at any given time 30% of the EM forum traffic is here. That's how awesome it is.

 

[fab4fan]

I got this one third-hand from an attending, so ... you know.

If you work at a gay bar, don't straight cath yourself and put vodka in your bladder so you can pee shots for the customers. You'll likely end up with recurrent UTIs even if you're a guy.

No way.

 

[Katydid]

I got this one third-hand from an attending, so ... you know.

If you work at a gay bar, don't straight cath yourself and put vodka in your bladder so you can pee shots for the customers. You'll likely end up with recurrent UTIs even if you're a guy.

*blinkblink*

Do what?

I think you broke my brain.

 

[PsyDGrrrl]

i got this one third-hand from an attending, so ... You know.

If you work at a gay bar, don't straight cath yourself and put vodka in your bladder so you can pee shots for the customers. You'll likely end up with recurrent utis even if you're a guy.

gross.

 

[dmitrinyr]

I got this one third-hand from an attending, so ... you know.

If you work at a gay bar, don't straight cath yourself and put vodka in your bladder so you can pee shots for the customers. You'll likely end up with recurrent UTIs even if you're a guy.

He did WHAT????? I'm curious, what was the BAL of this genius? Or was this done on a sober mind? Still, this is the kind of story that will be told for many years to come by the people that treated this pt first hand or worked the same shift.

 

[monkeybutt]

He did WHAT????? I'm curious, what was the BAL of this genius? Or was this done on a sober mind? Still, this is the kind of story that will be told for many years to come by the people that treated this pt first hand or worked the same shift.

Yeah, I know. Like I said, I got this third-hand from an attending who had worked with another doc who had seen this patient. Apparently it was a youngish guy and he kept coming to his PCP because he was getting UTIs until he finally mentioned what he was doing on one of his later visits.

I'm sure the story gets exaggerated with repeated tellings.

 

[marble30]

I just read through all 58 pages of this thread switching between and 😱.

What I found out is that there's a lot of good educational material in here!
1) Don't SOCMOB. If you do, chances are you will get attacked by "some dude."
2) People will stick anything and everything into various body orifices.
3) Law of Inverse Value - it's true!!
4) People that have consumed copious amounts of EtOH and/or have a history of seizures like to climb ladders.

Love this thread! It's hilarious! 😀

 

[Katydid]

Finally finished this thread again, so many posts since the last time I read it (as a lowly pre-med who hadn't even applied yet).

My contribution, as observed while shadowing:

If you're an elderly woman on every heart medication known to man, do decide to start skipping your "water pill" so you don't have to go to the bathroom as often.

Don't go into the ER as your limbs start swelling up, until your abdomen joins them in being grossly swollen (and painful at that point).

Also, don't seek any medical help if you fall down and hit your head on the bathroom floor. Not even when you have a pronounced bump on your head for a few weeks later. CT shows a subdural hematoma, which is made all the more fun by the fact that apparently the one pill that the patient had been taking was her warfarin (enough of it to get an INR of 6).

Gross edema with extremely thin blood and a brain bleed. First case of the night while shadowing, and it only got better from there.

Oh. My. God.

IANAD. And even *I* know that's bad. VERY bad.