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- Sep 13, 2005
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Because a lot of you could use a good laugh:
"It was less than an ounce and I was more than a hundred yards from the school."
"Why *insert name of school*? Because you are interviewing me."
"Once I'm in, how many weekends do I have to be here before I graduate?"
"I'm only here because my parents made me go...."
"Sorry what school is this again?"
"Your secretary is hot. Have you been tapping that?"
"I hate your school and hope you die...along with your entire family...now am I in?"
"So...how old is your daughter?"
"You mind if I smoke in here?"
"Is it true that your school is really merging with the nursing school?" (at an osteopathic program)
"Is it true that there is a high attrition rate for your first class?"
"Nothin else goin on in my life right now....so why the hell should I not go to med school?"
"Do you stock Oxycontin in the pharmacy?"
"When do I get my key to the narcotics cabinet?"
"You don't drug test students do you?"
"Is it true that Jack Kevorkian got his MD here?"
"So when I graduate I will be able to prescribe medicinal marijuana right?"
"Are all the faculty members as good looking as you?"
"Is this the line for Metallica?"
"You're my safety school."
"Let's just skip all the chit-chat and put my acceptance letter in the mail, eh?"
Any use of the word "y'all" (unless you're interviewing at AlabamaBirmingham; and remember it's not "Birm-ing-ham", it's "Burm-ing-um"- my fiancee is originally from Alabama and I was lectured at length by her dad about my apparent mispronunciation of the state capitol.)
"I am a published author. If you count Penthouse Letters as a scholarly journal."
ANSWERS NOT TO GIVE TO THE QUESTION "Why *insert name of the school*?":
-"Uh, good question."
-"Wait a minute....I thought this was Mayo."
-"I'm waiting to hear back from OHSU and didn't have anything else pressing to do."
-"Three words: in-state tuition."
-"I wanted the opportunity to see how physicians were trained in the late 1980's"
-"Where am I? Who are you? And why all the questions?"
-The old "name, rank, serial number" routine.
Some of these are modified or copied from a SDN thread about things not to
say during residency interviews:
My psychiatrist says I'm OK so long as I don't have access to sharp objects.
Well, first of all, before I begin, let me just say that's strong evidence that the little girl was lying. The prosecutor chose to ignore that......
Have you found Jesus?
What kind of student am I? Well put it this way, I'm amazed I made it this far in school.
It's not my fault. Where in the invitation letter does it say I had to wear clothes?
Does the student insurance package cover death benefits? Yes? OK, where can I find a stairwell with roof access?
I've enjoyed my time here today although I am disappointed that you haven't acknowledged my status as a god. I will make you bow before me.
You should also not wear a khaki military uniform, mirrored sunglasses, speak only in Arabic and refuse to answer questions.
"It was less than an ounce and I was more than a hundred yards from the school."
"Why *insert name of school*? Because you are interviewing me."
"Once I'm in, how many weekends do I have to be here before I graduate?"
"I'm only here because my parents made me go...."
"Sorry what school is this again?"
"Your secretary is hot. Have you been tapping that?"
"I hate your school and hope you die...along with your entire family...now am I in?"
"So...how old is your daughter?"
"You mind if I smoke in here?"
"Is it true that your school is really merging with the nursing school?" (at an osteopathic program)
"Is it true that there is a high attrition rate for your first class?"
"Nothin else goin on in my life right now....so why the hell should I not go to med school?"
"Do you stock Oxycontin in the pharmacy?"
"When do I get my key to the narcotics cabinet?"
"You don't drug test students do you?"
"Is it true that Jack Kevorkian got his MD here?"
"So when I graduate I will be able to prescribe medicinal marijuana right?"
"Are all the faculty members as good looking as you?"
"Is this the line for Metallica?"
"You're my safety school."
"Let's just skip all the chit-chat and put my acceptance letter in the mail, eh?"
Any use of the word "y'all" (unless you're interviewing at AlabamaBirmingham; and remember it's not "Birm-ing-ham", it's "Burm-ing-um"- my fiancee is originally from Alabama and I was lectured at length by her dad about my apparent mispronunciation of the state capitol.)
"I am a published author. If you count Penthouse Letters as a scholarly journal."
ANSWERS NOT TO GIVE TO THE QUESTION "Why *insert name of the school*?":
-"Uh, good question."
-"Wait a minute....I thought this was Mayo."
-"I'm waiting to hear back from OHSU and didn't have anything else pressing to do."
-"Three words: in-state tuition."
-"I wanted the opportunity to see how physicians were trained in the late 1980's"
-"Where am I? Who are you? And why all the questions?"
-The old "name, rank, serial number" routine.
Some of these are modified or copied from a SDN thread about things not to
say during residency interviews:
My psychiatrist says I'm OK so long as I don't have access to sharp objects.
Well, first of all, before I begin, let me just say that's strong evidence that the little girl was lying. The prosecutor chose to ignore that......
Have you found Jesus?
What kind of student am I? Well put it this way, I'm amazed I made it this far in school.
It's not my fault. Where in the invitation letter does it say I had to wear clothes?
Does the student insurance package cover death benefits? Yes? OK, where can I find a stairwell with roof access?
I've enjoyed my time here today although I am disappointed that you haven't acknowledged my status as a god. I will make you bow before me.
You should also not wear a khaki military uniform, mirrored sunglasses, speak only in Arabic and refuse to answer questions.
i hope they were nice enough and kept their shoes on in doing so.
