Thinking about quitting med school - what should I do next?

[deleted1049832]

I go to an established DO school. I failed a course near the end of second year and the remediation exam and had to sit out a full year until I could take the class again, which I passed. In the time off (I'm still off), I opted to take COMLEX Level 1, and failed. At each step, I feel I've become constantly overwhelmed and not cut out for this. I don't have a date yet for the retake.

I have no loans as my parents paid for the first 2.5 years to avoid interest, but I promised them I'll pay them back over my career. However, after the failed COMLEX and year off, my family questions whether I can be successful for the last 2 years. They told me if I want to continue, it needs to be my own loans now. However, I'm having serious doubts about continuing.

I'm 28.5 years old, unmarried and no kids. I'm thinking about quitting school. However, I don't know what to do with my life. Should I go to nursing school and become an RN? Should I go back and get a second Bachelor's degree in engineering or finance?

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[Cath Up]

Very very very fair of your parents to make that call. They have been super supportive already.

If you don't want to practice medicine, you don't have to. But boy does it sound like you'll be financially screwed for quite some time if you leave.
You should be as certain as possible you want to leave. Why did you pursue medicine in the first place? Are those motives still there?

 

[Hippocrates II]

No stranger on here can tell you what career path you should follow. RN, engineering, finance.. they're all good careers IF you're actually interested in doing them. I did finance early in college and I found it dreadful. It's a good career in many aspects, but terrible if you have no interest in it. That can be said for anything.

Do you want to be a doctor? If the answer is a resounding yes, I would figure out a plan to prepare for comlex again and defeat it. I don't believe there is anyone out there that is capable of getting through 1st/2nd year of medical school and not able to pass the boards, only people that may have not studied the best way and need to readjust their focus.

If your heart isn't in it, no shame in ducking out to a different career path. This lifestyle definitely isn't for everyone, and what I would actually consider malignant in comparison to other professions I've worked in. You're still young and obviously have the intellect to make it in the world of finance, engineering, or whatever else it is that you want, but now is the time to start thinking about the future that you want and building towards it. Your family has thrown you a massive lifeline in allowing you to be pseudo debt-free, I would take advantage of that and figure out what career path most interests you.

 

[deleted978973]

Well... You've got a golden ticket out if you really don't think it's for you. Maybe go the 1-year accelerated RN degree => NP route if you want to stay in healthcare and have a higher income. Would be incredibly easy for you since you've already done 2 years of med school.

 

[jurassicpark]

I think you are in a very unique situation a lot of people don't get : A choice. By this stage, a lot of people are waist deep in soul-crushing debt and have no choice but to continue.

That being said, the ultimate question is : Do you WANT to continue? That is the ultimate question. If you search through these forums, you will see there have been plenty of people in a similar academic situation that HAVE made it through and went on to become quite successful doctors. If you've read some of my older posts, you'll have read how my best friend was in a much worse position than you can imagine : a Caribbean student with multiple board failures in his jacket, yet still progressed forward and is now an awesome attending. The work though will be brutal, you will have to work like you've never worked before, and realistically a lot of doors will be closed to you in terms of residencies, for now (your future work can definitely open up entire worlds of possibilities you may not even have considered).

But the question is once again : What do you want? At this point your parents are now going to put you on the line. Meaning it's going to be YOUR investment and your obligation. Maybe that's the kick in the caboose that you need, some skin in the game so to speak. Maybe you just weren't meshing the information to the point you needed or felt overwhelmed. Whatever it is, you need to take four or five steps back and re-evaluate what went wrong, why and how to fix it. Because no matter which higher education you decide to choose, something fundamentally went wrong and you do not want to repeat the same mistakes.

Either way, you are a highly motivated and intelligent person to be where you are now. You also had a drive to make it to medical school and get through these two years. Do you love medicine? If yes, there's STILL hope. But you have to accept the full responsibilities of whatever choice you make now.

 

[CoomassieBlue57]

You're two years away from the most prestigious degree on the planet. Pass COMLEX Level 1 (who cares what your score is), get through rotations (M3 and M4 are way easier than the first two years), pass the other two board exams, then get the degree. If you decide you don't want to practice medicine you don't even have to obtain a residency. A medical degree still holds some weight no matter what field you decide to end up doing, even if it is not medicine.

 

[You shall know the Truth]

Finance!

 

[Drrrrrr. Celty]

Figure out why you failed COMLEX 1. Once you know the answer to that you'll know whether or not you should go on.

There's nothing wrong in admitting that you cannot cut it. But likewise if after reflection there is a repairable personal fault can be fixed and you choose to escape dealing with it then you're doubly shooting yourself in the foot.

Also you need to feel some degree of strain and stress to change and grow.

 

[Roxas]

I go to an established DO school. I failed a course near the end of second year and the remediation exam and had to sit out a full year until I could take the class again, which I passed. In the time off (I'm still off), I opted to take COMLEX Level 1, and failed. At each step, I feel I've become constantly overwhelmed and not cut out for this. I don't have a date yet for the retake.

I have no loans as my parents paid for the first 2.5 years to avoid interest, but I promised them I'll pay them back over my career. However, after the failed COMLEX and year off, my family questions whether I can be successful for the last 2 years. They told me if I want to continue, it needs to be my own loans now. However, I'm having serious doubts about continuing.

I'm 28.5 years old, unmarried and no kids. I'm thinking about quitting school. However, I don't know what to do with my life. Should I go to nursing school and become an RN? Should I go back and get a second Bachelor's degree in engineering or finance?

Sitting in a chair all day studying isn't the career you'll have for 30 years. Don't let the complete suck that is the first 2 years keep you from something if that's what you want. As mentioned above, the newly found financial fire under your butt that most of us have from day 1 is not a poor motivator.

Should you decide to continue, figure out why you failed comlex. Study omm until those questions become your bread and butter, they make up so much of the exam it's harder to fail if you crush that section. It's quite a bit of money, but I've heard multiple accounts that the Pass Program is incredible at taking failing students and getting them through the steps.

I also struggled hardcore with preclinical, but it gets indescribably better 3rd and 4th year. Best of luck going forward.

 

[Deecee2DO]

Dude you can do it you can get through it. I feel like you dont want to go on because you keep getting kicked in the nuts. first by that course which caused you to get discouraged which im sure affected your comlex failure because you probly subconciously thought you couldnt hack it. Thing is like people said above you actually have the choice to continue. some people that fail courses are asked to leave you still have a shot because you passed the remediation and all of the rest of your classes in med school. You didnt fail comlex 3x you failed it once. There are ways to get help and pass that exam on the second time around (many actually do). If you can get through med school without getting asked to leave you can pass comlex. You have the opportunity to be a physician which most people will never be able to do in their lives. The first two years of med school suck but attending life should be better. I believe in you bro!

 

[deleted1049832]

I still want to get through it. I want to be a doctor. Whether I can is the question. At what point do I realize dreams =/= reality?

I have three red flags - failed course (and remediation exam), forced year of absence because of course failure, and a COMLEX Level 1 failure. I'm not certain if I'll even match even if I apply to a 100+ FM or community IM programs.

 

[deleted966837]

You realize dreams =/= reality when they literally force you to quit. You still have a chance!

If this is what you really want, especially if you don’t have an alternative you care about, don’t quit. You will most likely regret it.

 

[DrStephenStrange]

I still want to get through it. I want to be a doctor. Whether I can is the question. At what point do I realize dreams =/= reality?

I have three red flags - failed course (and remediation exam), forced year of absence because of course failure, and a COMLEX Level 1 failure. I'm not certain if I'll even match even if I apply to a 100+ FM or community IM programs.

Here's some motivation for you.

 

[ERK123]

The story you are going to tell to those 100+ programs is how you stared failure in the face, and said “Not today”. You are not applying to residency tomorrow. You have time to reinvent yourself through a journey of personal growth. I failed a course my first year and matched into what I wanted. This happens to lots of people. Figure out what you need to do to get that journey started. If you cannot figure out how to start then start with a therapist.

 

[Roxas]

I still want to get through it. I want to be a doctor. Whether I can is the question. At what point do I realize dreams =/= reality?

I have three red flags - failed course (and remediation exam), forced year of absence because of course failure, and a COMLEX Level 1 failure. I'm not certain if I'll even match even if I apply to a 100+ FM or community IM programs.

One of the residents in my FM program has a similar red flag profile, with an added PE failure to boot. The thing is, he is a fantastic physician and one that i would trust with myself and my family's care completely. These tests don't define you for the rest of your career. You're deficient in what you needed to pass comlex 1 (which truth be told is a ****ty test anyway). Bust ass and crush it, and move on.

Many people have similar red flags and match just fine. With a comlex 1 pass rate of 93% (or whatever it is in more recent years), you don't see 7% of med school graduates jobless.

 

[deleted1049832]

I decided to keep going. I will try to study during rotations and pass the COMLEX Level 1 by the fall (school deadline). I don't know how I'm going to manage doing both, but I'll keep trying.

If I fail a second time, my school will pull me out and make me take another year off. I'll be on my last chance essentially at that point, since we are only allowed six years to graduate. If I do fail a second time, I have to make a serious decision on whether to continue, as I don't know if any residency would take somebody with 2 board failures, 2 year offs for academic reasons, and a failed course.

 

[Deecee2DO]

I decided to keep going. I will try to study during rotations and pass the COMLEX Level 1 by the fall (school deadline). I don't know how I'm going to manage doing both, but I'll keep trying.

If I fail a second time, my school will pull me out and make me take another year off. I'll be on my last chance essentially at that point, since we are only allowed six years to graduate. If I do fail a second time, I have to make a serious decision on whether to continue, as I don't know if any residency would take somebody with 2 board failures, 2 year offs for academic reasons, and a failed course.

OP go HAM on comlex. Try and find a tutor if you can I dont suggest you try to tackle that exam on your own. Do everything He/she says. There are affordable tutors on wyzant. Find a mentor/tutor and dont be afraid to ask for help. And remember stay confident try and think of all the times you succeeded like remembering the fact that you made it IN to med school and made it through the first 2 years successfully when all said and done

 

[sunshinefl]

I decided to keep going. I will try to study during rotations and pass the COMLEX Level 1 by the fall (school deadline). I don't know how I'm going to manage doing both, but I'll keep trying.

If I fail a second time, my school will pull me out and make me take another year off. I'll be on my last chance essentially at that point, since we are only allowed six years to graduate. If I do fail a second time, I have to make a serious decision on whether to continue, as I don't know if any residency would take somebody with 2 board failures, 2 year offs for academic reasons, and a failed course.

What are you working on now? If you’re still on your year off, why not study hard now before rotations. When do you start rotations? If you have a couple months, make this like a dedicated period and hit it hard. Your schedule might be more favorable, but my 3rd year started with General surgery and then ObGyn. It was brutal. There was no way I could have kept up my level 1 studying.

 

[DrStephenStrange]

What are you working on now? If you’re still on your year off, why not study hard now before rotations. When do you start rotations? If you have a couple months, make this like a dedicated period and hit it hard. Your schedule might be more favorable, but my 3rd year started with General surgery and then ObGyn. It was brutal. There was no way I could have kept up my level 1 studying.

Dude Gen Surg and OBGYN are my first rotations too. Damn!!!

 

[deleted1049832]

OP go HAM on comlex. Try and find a tutor if you can I dont suggest you try to tackle that exam on your own. Do everything He/she says. There are affordable tutors on wyzant. Find a mentor/tutor and dont be afraid to ask for help. And remember stay confident try and think of all the times you succeeded like remembering the fact that you made it IN to med school and made it through the first 2 years successfully when all said and done

I don't know if I can afford a tutor currently. I've reached out to a lot of my peers for suggestions on how they passed.

What are you working on now? If you’re still on your year off, why not study hard now before rotations. When do you start rotations? If you have a couple months, make this like a dedicated period and hit it hard. Your schedule might be more favorable, but my 3rd year started with General surgery and then ObGyn. It was brutal. There was no way I could have kept up my level 1 studying.

In some weeks. I will study now. I have a sick family member that I was/am supposed to take care of currently.

 

[sunshinefl]

I don't know if I can afford a tutor currently. I've reached out to a lot of my peers for suggestions on how they passed.



In some weeks. I will study now. I have a sick family member that I was/am supposed to take care of currently.

Oh okay. Well do what you need to in life but try to study if you can.

 

[ciestar]

Dude Gen Surg and OBGYN are my first rotations too. Damn!!!

It’s hard. I had them last and i postponed step 2 to take a break. Def the busiest ones for me during M3 and also inpatient IM

 

[DrStephenStrange]

It’s hard. I had them last and i postponed step 2 to take a break. Def the busiest ones for me during M3 and also inpatient IM

Well, let's hope my Level 1 and Step 1 aren't canceled and pushed into those rotations (assuming rotations will resume normally in July/August).

Edit: Anyway, let me stop derailing this thread. OP you've got this, and don't worry about all the uncertainties of how you're gonna do it, or how you're going to match. Those things will fall into place when the time comes. For now, get to work and kill COMLEX.

 

[FistLength]

I am glad to hear you are pushing forward. Worse than failure is living with regret. Throughout the next few weeks/months the ghost of doubt will re-appear. You will have to fortify your "why" you are pushing forward and make it stronger than the doubts. People who have a strong "why" stumble but don't fall. Surround yourself with positive re-inforcement routines, books/videos. You might have a problem with sitting and studying, you will have to cut out all the fat from your life (youtube/facebook/SDN/TV anything other than work and mandatory family needs). The phone needs to be away when you study. Hammer away at questions and understand the answers. Its OK to get 100% of them wrong so long as you learned from them. These tests do not require intelligence to pass anymore than a push-up requires a bodybuilder to perform. Its practice.

 

[Goro]

I decided to keep going. I will try to study during rotations and pass the COMLEX Level 1 by the fall (school deadline). I don't know how I'm going to manage doing both, but I'll keep trying.

If I fail a second time, my school will pull me out and make me take another year off. I'll be on my last chance essentially at that point, since we are only allowed six years to graduate. If I do fail a second time, I have to make a serious decision on whether to continue, as I don't know if any residency would take somebody with 2 board failures, 2 year offs for academic reasons, and a failed course.

I am glad to hear that you were pushing through. But if you fail a second time, then it's time to hang it up.

But we are not interested in the possibility of failure!

 

[deleted831695]

I am glad to hear that you were pushing through. But if you fail a second time, then it's time to hang it up.

But we are not interested in the possibility of failure!

At what point does one hang it up though? Would simply two board failures be enough, or is it that combined with OP's pre-clinical course failure?

 

[Goro]

At what point does one hang it up though? Would simply two board failures be enough, or is it that combined with OP's pre-clinical course failure?

In the OP's case, the multiple red flags make me advise hanging it up after a second failure. With other people, it's a case by case thing.

 

[Detective SnowBucket]

Here's some motivation for you.

I realize I haven't even matriculated so maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about but....that's insane! How did this person get a residency? Have I been too blinded by SDN with all the 250+ scorers into believing that this person has no chance?

 

[deleted831695]

I realize I haven't even matriculated so maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about but....that's insane! How did this person get a residency? Have I been too blinded by SDN with all the 250+ scorers into believing that this person has no chance?

I would imagine though it was easier to match 6-7 years ago. She also has a compelling and inspiring story of resilience both in her academic and personal life.

 

[deleted1049832]

What would you all recommend I should focus to maximize the odds of passing Level 1? I know people say to only spend ~3 days on OMM, but maybe I should spend a full week? Rewatch all of Sketchy Micro and Pharm, and do flashcards on it every day? Are there certain topics that are for sure low-yield and not worth spending unnecessary time on?

 

[DrStephenStrange]

What would you all recommend I should focus to maximize the odds of passing Level 1? I know people say to only spend ~3 days on OMM, but maybe I should spend a full week? Rewatch all of Sketchy Micro and Pharm, and do flashcards on it every day? Are there certain topics that are for sure low-yield and not worth spending unnecessary time on?

Embryo and anatomy are low yield. Make sure you know Path, Pharm, Micro, Biochem, OMM really well.

 

[DrStephenStrange]

I realize I haven't even matriculated so maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about but....that's insane! How did this person get a residency? Have I been too blinded by SDN with all the 250+ scorers into believing that this person has no chance?

She only failed step 1 and step 2 CK once. I think she can get a residency spot somewhere with that. Step 3, the one she really struggled with, is taken while in residency.

 

[samac]

So it appears you're going into this again without a real plan. Fix that now. I had a board failure and an extra year, matched my top choice in psych. 2 colleagues who failed level 1 with me (my school so intelligently sent us an email all together so we identified each other) also just matched. They both also had a course failure. I don't think they got their top choices, but one is going peds (top specialty choice) and one fm.

The biggest thing for all of us was having a plan of attack for the retake. We all used some form of prep course because it was too difficult to piece together our own study plan round 2. One of us used Boards Bootcamp, 2 of us used PASS. I know a lot of weaker students who passed the first time using DIT. I think you should invest in whatever your choice is to give you a more rigid structure, I think you'll continue to struggle if you go at it using first aid and Savarese.

Good luck!

 

[Goro]

D

What would you all recommend I should focus to maximize the odds of passing Level 1? I know people say to only spend ~3 days on OMM, but maybe I should spend a full week? Rewatch all of Sketchy Micro and Pharm, and do flashcards on it every day? Are there certain topics that are for sure low-yield and not worth spending unnecessary time on?

Do you have test taking anxiety issues???

 

[deleted1049832]

So it appears you're going into this again without a real plan. Fix that now. I had a board failure and an extra year, matched my top choice in psych. 2 colleagues who failed level 1 with me (my school so intelligently sent us an email all together so we identified each other) also just matched. They both also had a course failure. I don't think they got their top choices, but one is going peds (top specialty choice) and one fm.

The biggest thing for all of us was having a plan of attack for the retake. We all used some form of prep course because it was too difficult to piece together our own study plan round 2. One of us used Boards Bootcamp, 2 of us used PASS. I know a lot of weaker students who passed the first time using DIT. I think you should invest in whatever your choice is to give you a more rigid structure, I think you'll continue to struggle if you go at it using first aid and Savarese.

Good luck!

I was planning on watching all of Boards and Beyond, in addition to UFAPS.

Don't you need months to invest into a prep program? I can't afford to take another year off, as I've already taken one off for an academic issue.

D
Do you have test taking anxiety issues???

I don't know, maybe? I was very stressed while studying, but I thought everyone feels the same way. I don't think I can go see a therapist and start taking medications right now though.

 

[Goro]

I was planning on watching all of Boards and Beyond, in addition to UFAPS.

Don't you need months to invest into a prep program? I can't afford to take another year off, as I've already taken one off for an academic issue.



I don't know, maybe? I was very stressed while studying, but I thought everyone feels the same way. I don't think I can go see a therapist and start taking medications right now though.

Why not???

 

[samac]

I was planning on watching all of Boards and Beyond, in addition to UFAPS.

Don't you need months to invest into a prep program? I can't afford to take another year off, as I've already taken one off for an academic issue.



I don't know, maybe? I was very stressed while studying, but I thought everyone feels the same way. I don't think I can go see a therapist and start taking medications right now though.

For a formal prep program, it would probably take you 6 weeks. I'm not telling you to go somewhere, but do use something. If you just piecemeal it together I'm afraid you'll struggle again. When are you starting rotations? Are you even starting real rotations or will be they virtual in the world of corona?

 

[Deecee2DO]

I was planning on watching all of Boards and Beyond, in addition to UFAPS.

Don't you need months to invest into a prep program? I can't afford to take another year off, as I've already taken one off for an academic issue.



I don't know, maybe? I was very stressed while studying, but I thought everyone feels the same way. I don't think I can go see a therapist and start taking medications right now though.

OP definitely do a prep program/tutor. It wont take months and you wont have to take another year off. Get in touch with PASS program. You gotta approach this differently this time around or you could run the risk of having the same result.

 

[dial1010usa]

if you have test taking anxiety or can't sleep well, you need to see your doctor and get medicine. People won't say here but lot of student takes the medicine to help them and there is nothing wrong with that. Get help first before you prepare for an exams.
YOU WILL ROCK!

 

[Ho0v-man]

What would you all recommend I should focus to maximize the odds of passing Level 1? I know people say to only spend ~3 days on OMM, but maybe I should spend a full week? Rewatch all of Sketchy Micro and Pharm, and do flashcards on it every day? Are there certain topics that are for sure low-yield and not worth spending unnecessary time on?

Both those sketchy decks are the highest of yields by far. There’s also an anatomy Zanki deck over the anatomy in FA. Ignore the molecular side of it with myosin light chain and what not and focus on stuff like tibial and fibular nerves, dermatomes, etc. Don’t dive super deep into brachial plexus, but know the nerves, muscles, and their actions in the shoulder. That deck got me quite a few points on comlex.

 

[Doggeronie]

You're two years away from the most prestigious degree on the planet. Pass COMLEX Level 1 (who cares what your score is), get through rotations (M3 and M4 are way easier than the first two years), pass the other two board exams, then get the degree. If you decide you don't want to practice medicine you don't even have to obtain a residency. A medical degree still holds some weight no matter what field you decide to end up doing, even if it is not medicine.

Agreed... Just pass everything and finish. It's worth so much more

 

[Small Cell Carcinoma]

I decided to keep going. I will try to study during rotations and pass the COMLEX Level 1 by the fall (school deadline). I don't know how I'm going to manage doing both, but I'll keep trying.

If I fail a second time, my school will pull me out and make me take another year off. I'll be on my last chance essentially at that point, since we are only allowed six years to graduate. If I do fail a second time, I have to make a serious decision on whether to continue, as I don't know if any residency would take somebody with 2 board failures, 2 year offs for academic reasons, and a failed course.

Happy to hear that you are going to keep going. But try to eliminate negative thoughts like this. They can weigh you down in a very detrimental way. Think of it like this. You are going to take an exam that roughly 96% percent of people pass so the odds are in your favor that you will succeed.
Good luck!

 

[KunoichiDoc]

I still want to get through it. I want to be a doctor. Whether I can is the question. At what point do I realize dreams =/= reality?

I have three red flags - failed course (and remediation exam), forced year of absence because of course failure, and a COMLEX Level 1 failure. I'm not certain if I'll even match even if I apply to a 100+ FM or community IM programs.

A lot of us humans are figuring out what we're doing in this life. I get in my own way by questioning myself. If you unequivocally want to become a physician you can find a way to make it happen. You can be relentless. You're further than a lot of people. As others have mentioned you have a lot of positive things working in your favour. You've already gotten accepted into and started a program. You have resources. You're young. You're not even 30 yet. You don't have the obligations of having children or a spouse.
The challenge is believing. Getting a therapist, and a coach or mentor may be helpful to you. Congrats on making your decision to continue moving forward and knowing what you want.

 

[douglasreed]

This problem is quite serious. You are also at an age that requires stability from it. Everything you choose now is very difficult.
Not to mention finance, the next step will need a lot of effort if you want to continue this medical career. I can only wish you luck and believe in yourself more. Good luck

 

[deleted978973]

Both those sketchy decks are the highest of yields by far. There’s also an anatomy Zanki deck over the anatomy in FA. Ignore the molecular side of it with myosin light chain and what not and focus on stuff like tibial and fibular nerves, dermatomes, etc. Don’t dive super deep into brachial plexus, but know the nerves, muscles, and their actions in the shoulder. That deck got me quite a few points on comlex.

Which deck is this?

 

[DrStephenStrange]

Which deck is this?

I believe it's the lolnotacop (sketchy) and dorian (100 high yield concepts of anatomy) decks.

 

[Ho0v-man]

Yeah lolnotacop for sketchy and I just remember a general anatomy deck in Zanki that covered just the msk anatomy in FA and it was extremely high yield and pretty easy to memorize.

 

[deleted1049832]

This problem is quite serious. You are also at an age that requires stability from it. Everything you choose now is very difficult.
Not to mention finance, the next step will need a lot of effort if you want to continue this medical career. I can only wish you luck and believe in yourself more. Good luck

I'm just going to try and pass Level 1, whatever the score, for now. Think about the rest later. I'm hoping if I can be an AMG that one of the hundreds of FM residencies will take me in.

 

[Medmusicmagic23]

You're two years away from the most prestigious degree on the planet. Pass COMLEX Level 1 (who cares what your score is), get through rotations (M3 and M4 are way easier than the first two years), pass the other two board exams, then get the degree. If you decide you don't want to practice medicine you don't even have to obtain a residency. A medical degree still holds some weight no matter what field you decide to end up doing, even if it is not medicine.

This is spot on. If you are okay with family medicine, then you WILL be a resident somewhere, even with the current history under your belt. Also it's important to mention you are not the only medical student in this situation. You just never hear about it simply because students are reluctant to admit it.

With that said, what do you plan to do differently study wise going forward? Have you been doing question banks? I found question banks helpful for nailing down core concepts even for classroom exams. I would check out Uworld and combank if you haven't already.

 

[Spectreman]

I'm just going to try and pass Level 1, whatever the score, for now. Think about the rest later. I'm hoping if I can be an AMG that one of the hundreds of FM residencies will take me in.

You can do it man. Does your school give access to DIT or a similar course? If you just want to pass then a course like this will do the trick. You made it this far, don’t give up now. You’ll find a program when that time comes.