uncomfortable experience w/ a flirtatious interviewer

[Illstartmydiet2maro]

I honestly do not know what to do. I am not this geeky anti social girl. I have been hit on before and I know how to act and remain professional. This is just my TOP school and choice since i was like 16 years old, and now, not only do i feel like my acceptance (if i get one) will be phony, but i cant imagine having to be TAUGHT by this man in the future. What would u guys do!???

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[Kouneko]

Report him...

 

[Illstartmydiet2maro]

Report him...

then I'm definitely not getting in.

 

[I-hate-alginate]

Should've told him that you're married and got 3 kids. You would surprised how much he would've changed.

 

[Illstartmydiet2maro]

Should've told him that you're married and got 3 kids. You would surprised how much he would've changed.

too bad i look like a 16 year old.. ain't no one believing i got kids.. lmao

 

[Kouneko]

then I'm definitely not getting in.

If what you wrote really did happen, and it made you very uncomfortable, I would report him to a higher school authority, not someone on the admission team. Request confidentiality so that it won't affect your admission to the school.

 

[toothdoctor123]

such as if i have a boyfriend

if i see marriage and kids in my future

The interviewer's behavior is clearly unprofessional, but these questions in particular are illegal to ask in an admissions interview.

 

[Illstartmydiet2maro]

The interviewer's behavior is clearly unprofessional, but these questions in particular are illegal to ask in an admissions interview.

Thank you everyone for advice. I think I know what to do now..

 

[FanOfCostco]

looks like you wont be choosing your top choice

 

[Faefly]

I am sorry about what happened to you.
Remember. This is your top choice.
This experience does not represent the school, just one bad apple who was not professional!

They might believe you or they might not; do what you think is right.

Best of luck.

 

[oralcare123]

Questions about kids and family, future plans are asked all the time. So far I didn’t see anything worth reporting

 

[Torshi81]

I would warn everyone not to take legal advice from people online. Additionally, it’s my understanding that questions relating to marriage and kids are illegal when interviewing for employment (graduate schools generally don’t fall under employment). And even if those questions are asked at a job interview, it is really difficult and rarely litigated (plus damages are minimal).

Good luck with whatever response you choose to make.

 

[DocDoom]

yeah, where is the "IANAL" disclaimer

 

[toothdoctor123]

I would warn everyone not to take legal advice from people online. Additionally, it’s my understanding that questions relating to marriage and kids are illegal when interviewing for employment (graduate schools generally don’t fall under employment). And even if those questions are asked at a job interview, it is really difficult and rarely litigated (plus damages are minimal).

Good luck with whatever response you choose to make.

I should iterate that it wasn't my intention to give legal advice when I stated my opinion that those questions are illegal (nor would I suggest that any legal action is prudent anyway). I simply meant to affirm OP's judgement that the interviewer's behavior was wrong and that the seriousness of the issue depends on the wording of those questions.

I agree that civil litigation wouldn't achieve anything when there is marital status discrimination in employment/school admission...but for these situations there are other forms of legal action such as a formal complaint to the Department of Education. And then of course there are extra-legal professional processes such as a complaint to ADEA; and at the university level, there are usually tribunals that address faculty/staff misconduct. Again, I'm not advising that OP should take action; I'm just stating that these processes exist.

Whether dental school admission falls under employment law is something I don't know. I'm obviously not a lawyer. But I would imagine that it could in some cases because dental schools are professional training programs, and gaining admission to dental school is a requisite piece of the legally defined process of gaining employment as a dentist. That's different than admission to academic graduate school because the government doesn't specifically dictate that a person must have a degree in an academic field to enter a particular occupation; e.g. that someone would be legally required to have an MA in English to be an English teacher in a private high school.

All of that aside, marital status discrimination in dental school admission still could be illegal as a form of gender discrimination (i.e. that those questions would not be asked or worded the same way for male applicants).

 

[2TH MVR]

I honestly do not know what to do. I am not this geeky anti social girl. I have been hit on before and I know how to act and remain professional. This is just my TOP school and choice since i was like 16 years old, and now, not only do i feel like my acceptance (if i get one) will be phony, but i cant imagine having to be TAUGHT by this man in the future. What would u guys do!???

Maybe you took it out of context. Maybe you didn't. It sounds very inappropriate. But suck it up .... attend this school if accepted and discuss the interviewer with his superiors once you are there. Your dream means more than one dumb a**.

 

[Michael_Scott]

Questions about kids and family, future plans are asked all the time. So far I didn’t see anything worth reporting

I would warn everyone not to take legal advice from people online. Additionally, it’s my understanding that questions relating to marriage and kids are illegal when interviewing for employment (graduate schools generally don’t fall under employment). And even if those questions are asked at a job interview, it is really difficult and rarely litigated (plus damages are minimal).

Good luck with whatever response you choose to make.

this is true, especially true with medical school interviews. most of the time it is to see how you respond to uncomfortable situations. I guess dentistry is also moving to interview styles similar to med.

I would say don't go sue the school or report the guy, just get your admission and then do whatever you think is right IF something inappropriate happens. Just my thoughts. Best of luck to you.

 

[Anothercalidds]

Questions about kids and family, future plans are asked all the time. So far I didn’t see anything worth reporting

Asking if she has a boyfriend and if her parents are strict? Touching her arm? All that is ok? Lol ok....

 

[Anothercalidds]

this is true, especially true with medical school interviews. most of the time it is to see how you respond to uncomfortable situations. I guess dentistry is also moving to interview styles similar to med.

I would say don't go sue the school or report the guy, just get your admission and then do whatever you think is right IF something inappropriate happens. Just my thoughts. Best of luck to you.

I don’t know if u guys read the original thread with the detailed experience. I think OP deleted it which is understandable but it was clearly disgusting behavior by the interviewer

 

[Alpha Centauri]

I can't imagine anyone would ever sacrifice their academic career just to flirt with one interviewee

 

[oralcare123]

Asking if she has a boyfriend and if her parents are strict? Touching her arm? All that is ok? Lol ok....

Didn’t see anything about touching in her post, she might have edited it.
Questions are fine, touching not so much, but a lot depends on the situation and age of the interviewer
In any case getting admitted is more important

 

[LordOfOMS]

I honestly do not know what to do. I am not this geeky anti social girl. I have been hit on before and I know how to act and remain professional. This is just my TOP school and choice since i was like 16 years old, and now, not only do i feel like my acceptance (if i get one) will be phony, but i cant imagine having to be TAUGHT by this man in the future. What would u guys do!???

I will handle this.

 

[weaselodeath]

This type of behavior doesn't tend to happen in a vacuum. Look at all the stories we are seeing right now about places where sexual harassment was commonplace. Very few people engaged in it, but pretty much everyone was tacitly complicit. The imbalance of power, used for sexual purposes, isn't something that somebody does just once.

All that to say that this is some icky stuff, and you should definitely let it factor into your decision. Don't just think "this school is so great that if I get in I HAVE to go." I mean, if you have the luxury of choosing.

 

[FanOfCostco]

I can't imagine anyone would ever sacrifice their academic career just to flirt with one interviewee

But she has that "risk it all" look...

 

[weaselodeath]

I can't imagine anyone would ever sacrifice their academic career just to flirt with one interviewee

But she has that "risk it all" look...

I think you guys mean that OP is probably misinterpreting her experience with this guy. That is possible, but it also points to this being habitual behavior if she was interpreting it correctly.

 

[FanOfCostco]

I think you guys mean that OP is probably misinterpreting her experience with this guy. That is possible, but it also points to this being habitual behavior if she was interpreting it correctly.

I think you misinterpreted our post.

 

[weaselodeath]

I think you misinterpreted our post.

It seemed like you guys were making fun of her a little bit, but I'm glad that wasn't the case. I apologize.

 

[setdoc7]

Seriously? If this individual is a dentist, and the interview was as inappropriate as it seems on this thread, there is plenty to do. Dec 1 is around the corner. See if OP gets in. The interviewer can be dealt with by: complaint to the State Board of Dentistry for misconduct, or the Office of Professional Discipline for aggressive behavior. Once reported, the investigation goes forward. As a PD who interviews for grad dent program, I cannot imagine how this can take place unnoticed. As usual, wherever you look there are good people and bad people. To the OP....don't let this taint your image of the profession. Most faculty are most interested in turning you into the excellent clinician you can be.

 

[FanOfCostco]

I honestly do not know what to do. I am not this geeky anti social girl. I have been hit on before and I know how to act and remain professional. This is just my TOP school and choice since i was like 16 years old, and now, not only do i feel like my acceptance (if i get one) will be phony, but i cant imagine having to be TAUGHT by this man in the future. What would u guys do!???

So.... did you start your diet?

 

[lemoncurry]

I would encourage all to be respectful in your replies, especially considering that this person has shared an experience that was traumatic and invasive. Given the awareness being brought to sexual harassment, I think it is best if our replies did not sound the same as those who so quickly dismiss the claims of so many women in the world.