Urrrrgh ...single?

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Uh ...what kind of women do you think I'm interested in? 😉
 
:laugh: None but the finest, I'm sure. With a sense of adventure hopefully. You can't do the region without sampling local delights. That's like going to the Loire region and not trying their wines😉
 
Well looks like nobody else wants to talk about this, so I'm back to lurking, lol. 🙂
 
Freesia88 said:
That was tongue in cheek! I keep thinking of this episode of Anthony Bourdain where he went to some town in that area and ate Squirrel pot pie.

Edit: That was the Ozarks. Hmm. I wonder what exotic recipes are in the Appalachians.
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Turtle soup.

I wish I was kidding, but I spent that one year in Appalachia...
 
Chase your moonshine with legit booze. Keep the alcohol dehydrogenase busy.

- Your friendly clinical pharmacist (who drank lotsa moonshine in West Virginia)
 
I am also near the Appalachians, TN. I can tell you now that you need to find the public schools in the area and hit on some cute 22-24 year old teachers or public universities. So far, as a an 18 year old male, that is were I have seen the most attractive females. Also, I work at a day care with a good number of single moms and it is definitely not a relationship for the light hearted...though between a surgery resident and raising a child...*thinking*...well..."Knife!". Good luck.
 
RuralPhysician8 said:
I am also near the Appalachians, TN. I can tell you now that you need to find the public schools in the area and hit on some cute 22-24 year old teachers or public universities. So far, as a an 18 year old male, that is were I have seen the most attractive females. Also, I work at a day care with a good number of single moms and it is definitely not a relationship for the light hearted...though between a surgery resident and raising a child...*thinking*...well..."Knife!". Good luck.
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I don't mean this offensively in any way to anyone -- and this isn't referring to you -- but I don't think people in rural areas know what looking good means. I'm being serious here when I say that women around here seem to think that looking like strippers is what is hot. For example, as I said, I've been on several online dating sites. And invariably, you get one of two type of women:

- The mega-obese woman who is, for some reason, into really weird sexual experimentation (again, not joking, they write in their profiles about how sexual they are, which is more nauseating than attractive); or

- The woman who could be attractive, except she has way too much makeup on, has platinum blonde hair, and is "separated" with two kids. And half the time she'll be 30 and "just starting college." It's basically screaming "I was a teenage mom."

Not to say there aren't nice and normal women in this area, but the other problem with places like this or the Midwest is that it seems like many women get married fairly young, so all the normal women are taken.
 
no, don't be. i think you are good person. don't get depressed just because you are single.you are educated person. and not all people can achieve like the way you do. you are a graduate person, so i think you have the greater chance compare to others. just try to be confident to yourself in dating.if you can't find some one out there, try another race, like asians. i know you can get your answers to them. trust me..
 
you will find someday. i think you can't get a hard time since you are an educated person. try to go to park, or somewhere in the recreational events, i am sure you can find someone out there.
 
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OP, whatever you do be VERY careful about women who are desperate single moms or just general hoes.
Don't ever meet a girl you want to date seriously at a bar...
Obviously look for someone who's a few years younger, but just be careful of sluts/former sluts (many will hide it, it'll take some time and insight to find out).

Why? Cause a few years later once they decide they're bored of you, they won't have any problem seducing the pool boy... and when they do get caught, they won't have any problem getting 150-200k from you annually in alimony payments after the divorce.

The biggest mistake you can make is settling for the next cute girl you meet.


Now you have to see if you definitely want to get married or no. Or would you prefer dating around and eventually just getting into a long term relationship and marrying later on?
 
ruralsurg4now said:
I don't mean this offensively in any way to anyone -- and this isn't referring to you -- but I don't think people in rural areas know what looking good means. I'm being serious here when I say that women around here seem to think that looking like strippers is what is hot. For example, as I said, I've been on several online dating sites. And invariably, you get one of two type of women:

- The mega-obese woman who is, for some reason, into really weird sexual experimentation (again, not joking, they write in their profiles about how sexual they are, which is more nauseating than attractive); or

- The woman who could be attractive, except she has way too much makeup on, has platinum blonde hair, and is "separated" with two kids. And half the time she'll be 30 and "just starting college." It's basically screaming "I was a teenage mom."

Not to say there aren't nice and normal women in this area, but the other problem with places like this or the Midwest is that it seems like many women get married fairly young, so all the normal women are taken.
Click to expand...

It is kind of hard for me to see it because I kind of grew up in this "risky" atmosphere being 18 years old; however, I think I understand. I do not know what exact part of the Appalachians you are, but I am still finding it hard to see you as without any cute girls between 20-26 because just walking around my town I notice more than a handful of classic, tanned, thin brunnettes. Are you that deep in the Appalachians? I head up to basically moonshine territory once or twice a year to visit family...if that is where you are at, then I am afraid your only hope might just be scoping out cute, sane women at DollyWood.
 
studentp0x said:
OP, whatever you do be VERY careful about women who are desperate single moms or just general hoes.
Don't ever meet a girl you want to date seriously at a bar...
Obviously look for someone who's a few years younger, but just be careful of sluts/former sluts (many will hide it, it'll take some time and insight to find out).

Why? Cause a few years later once they decide they're bored of you, they won't have any problem seducing the pool boy... and when they do get caught, they won't have any problem getting 150-200k from you annually in alimony payments after the divorce.

The biggest mistake you can make is settling for the next cute girl you meet.


Now you have to see if you definitely want to get married or no. Or would you prefer dating around and eventually just getting into a long term relationship and marrying later on?
Click to expand...

I definitely agree. For example, if I see a really, really attractive woman who is relatively young and she's gunning for a physician, I'm thinking either a) gold-digger all the way or b) she slept around and now that she's done playing the field she's going to settle down with some schmo and live the good life, maybe even have an affair at some point. The thing is, unfortunately, that becomes a Catch 22 at some point. Because at some point, assuming any attractive and young woman ever gets interested in me, I'll have to trust that she's not some reformed skank. (Women are going to get offended by that, but I'm just being blunt.)
 
RuralPhysician8 said:
It is kind of hard for me to see it because I kind of grew up in this "risky" atmosphere being 18 years old; however, I think I understand. I do not know what exact part of the Appalachians you are, but I am still finding it hard to see you as without any cute girls between 20-26 because just walking around my town I notice more than a handful of classic, tanned, thin brunnettes. Are you that deep in the Appalachians? I head up to basically moonshine territory once or twice a year to visit family...if that is where you are at, then I am afraid your only hope might just be scoping out cute, sane women at DollyWood.
Click to expand...

It's not deep in the Appalachians. It's sort of next to them. But it's definitely the type of town where anyone who can leave will do so immediately. So any hot women, I presume, exit as soon as possible. Or if they stayed, they lived a hard life with drugs or alcohol until their prettiness was gone.
 
ruralsurg4now said:
I definitely agree. For example, if I see a really, really attractive woman who is relatively young and she's gunning for a physician, I'm thinking either a) gold-digger all the way or b) she slept around and now that she's done playing the field she's going to settle down with some schmo and live the good life, maybe even have an affair at some point. The thing is, unfortunately, that becomes a Catch 22 at some point. Because at some point, assuming any attractive and young woman ever gets interested in me, I'll have to trust that she's not some reformed skank. (Women are going to get offended by that, but I'm just being blunt.)
Click to expand...

You're definitely well aware on the game, so that's really good. Not sure why a lot of successful guys fall into traps like that.

I always personally thought working on personal attractiveness (physical) is best when it comes to improving yourself as a dating prospect. Generally speaking, people who are relatively on the same level of attractiveness, or at least "not out of each others leagues" will have the best outcomes.

A lot of people say "don't ask don't tell" or don't look into someone's past, which is beyond ridiculous. I don't think it's just me who finds it disturbing that my prospect partner was getting screwed by a different person every weekend. :laugh: It's one thing to have a few partners (casual and relationships) and a whole other thing to have no self control and sleep around with everyone.
So it's always best to inquire and investigate into her past as much as possible, the past can predict the future.
 
studentp0x said:
I always personally thought working on personal attractiveness (physical) is best when it comes to improving yourself as a dating prospect. Generally speaking, people who are relatively on the same level of attractiveness, or at least "not out of each others leagues" will have the best outcomes.
Click to expand...

I don't know about that. Theoretically, I see your point, but the Discovery channel also showed a (pretty non-scientific) study that they did where women were told to rate men's attractiveness and they were told false information about their income. It definitely caused women to rate them as more or less attractive. What you're talking about holds in high school, but after that people take things like money and prestige into account big time. That's nature. (Probably, if we're going to be totally ruthless, it's also based on the fact that those types of people can also go out and cheat on the side and thus can have their cake and eat it.)
 
ruralsurg4now said:
I don't know about that. Theoretically, I see your point, but the Discovery channel also showed a (pretty non-scientific) study that they did where women were told to rate men's attractiveness and they were told false information about their income. It definitely caused women to rate them as more or less attractive. What you're talking about holds in high school, but after that people take things like money and prestige into account big time. That's nature. (Probably, if we're going to be totally ruthless, it's also based on the fact that those types of people can also go out and cheat on the side and thus can have their cake and eat it.)
Click to expand...

Yea exactly. And ultimately you want to avoid such people. It's best to have someone want you for a combination of physical attractiveness and attractiveness to your personality.

Anyway, interesting study that's been shown:

http://socialpathology.blogspot.ca/2010/09/sexual-partner-divorce-risk.html

(For those who think having 3 partners and 30 makes no difference 😉 )
 
I'm amazed that he could find people who had only had one premarital sexual relationship in this day and age. Anyways, this is starting to get off topic and I didn't want to make this thread about relationships in general so much as I wanted to discuss my own personal predicament.
 
ruralsurg4now said:
I'm amazed that he could find people who had only had one premarital sexual relationship in this day and age. Anyways, this is starting to get off topic and I didn't want to make this thread about relationships in general so much as I wanted to discuss my own personal predicament.
Click to expand...

I am starting to think you are really between a rock and a hard place...maybe focus on finding work in a more appealing city since female prospects where you are currently are short to say the least. I suppose you could also get your married friends to hook you up with someone they know and you drive out one day...I know a few people who have done this and it actually turned into nice relationships. In the end I think it needs to be your choice though.
 
Ya OP, focus on meeting people through friends. A really good way to meet someone and have insight into them ahead of time.
 
ruralsurg4now said:
I don't know about that. Theoretically, I see your point, but the Discovery channel also showed a (pretty non-scientific) study that they did where women were told to rate men's attractiveness and they were told false information about their income. It definitely caused women to rate them as more or less attractive. What you're talking about holds in high school, but after that people take things like money and prestige into account big time. That's nature. (Probably, if we're going to be totally ruthless, it's also based on the fact that those types of people can also go out and cheat on the side and thus can have their cake and eat it.)
Click to expand...

That's not exactly the case. Look up "sexy son hypothesis".
 
ruralsurg4now said:
I don't mean this offensively in any way to anyone -- and this isn't referring to you -- but I don't think people in rural areas know what looking good means. I'm being serious here when I say that women around here seem to think that looking like strippers is what is hot. For example, as I said, I've been on several online dating sites. And invariably, you get one of two type of women:

- The mega-obese woman who is, for some reason, into really weird sexual experimentation (again, not joking, they write in their profiles about how sexual they are, which is more nauseating than attractive); or

- The woman who could be attractive, except she has way too much makeup on, has platinum blonde hair, and is "separated" with two kids. And half the time she'll be 30 and "just starting college." It's basically screaming "I was a teenage mom."

Not to say there aren't nice and normal women in this area, but the other problem with places like this or the Midwest is that it seems like many women get married fairly young, so all the normal women are taken.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I think that's accurate.

It annoys me to no end when women with one or multiple children who may have been married or never married suddenly are jumping all over the successful guys (sometimes virgins) who plodded along and tried to be responsible in their youth, never married or divorced or had kids out of wedlock. You never see them jumping forward to marry a man with children of his own. You know, if you want to have a father figure for your kids, how about you play mother figure for his kids? Oh, you don't like that, do you? :meanie:

The exception to this, I suspect, are widows and widowers who are much more reasonable about blending families rather than just gold-digging and cougaring to the hilt.
 
mercaptovizadeh said:
Yeah, I think that's accurate.

It annoys me to no end when women with one or multiple children who may have been married or never married suddenly are jumping all over the successful guys (sometimes virgins) who plodded along and tried to be responsible in their youth, never married or divorced or had kids out of wedlock. You never see them jumping forward to marry a man with children of his own. You know, if you want to have a father figure for your kids, how about you play mother figure for his kids? Oh, you don't like that, do you? :meanie:

The exception to this, I suspect, are widows and widowers who are much more reasonable about blending families rather than just gold-digging and cougaring to the hilt.
Click to expand...

Evolutionarily speaking what they are doing makes perfect sense. Have a kid with an "attractive" (whatever that may mean to them) guy maximizing the chance that their offspring will inherit the genes that made those guys attractive in the first place. Thus their offspring will have more offspring of their own. Now, to ensure its survival it makes sense to marry a "stable" guy with a lot of resources. Don't hate the players, hate the game.

OP, sorry to derail your thread.
 
mercaptovizadeh said:
Yeah, I think that's accurate.

It annoys me to no end when women with one or multiple children who may have been married or never married suddenly are jumping all over the successful guys (sometimes virgins) who plodded along and tried to be responsible in their youth, never married or divorced or had kids out of wedlock. You never see them jumping forward to marry a man with children of his own. You know, if you want to have a father figure for your kids, how about you play mother figure for his kids? Oh, you don't like that, do you? :meanie:

The exception to this, I suspect, are widows and widowers who are much more reasonable about blending families rather than just gold-digging and cougaring to the hilt.
Click to expand...

I see plenty of divorced mothers who marry divorced fathers.

Although I know they would rather not deal with his "baby mama drama" - he has shown appropriate father material.
 
SunsFun said:
Evolutionarily speaking what they are doing makes perfect sense. Have a kid with an "attractive" (whatever that may mean to them) guy maximizing the chance that their offspring will inherit the genes that made those guys attractive in the first place. Thus their offspring will have more offspring of their own. Now, to ensure its survival it makes sense to marry a "stable" guy with a lot of resources. Don't hate the players, hate the game.

OP, sorry to derail your thread.
Click to expand...

Fist of all, I don't believe in evolution, at least not in the way you believe in it. And second, alluding to it in this context seems to be an attempt to remove the moral element from their poor behavior.

Someone who has fun sowing his/her oats, rolling in the hay, etc. and was generally irresponsible until they reached age 30+, then hoping/expecting/manipulating someone else who spent the first 30+ years of his/her life studying, working, earning a good living and generally being responsible, so that they can patch up the yawning canyon that is their dysfunctional life (messed up finances, lack of education/job/future, problematic children, etc.) - that is downright wrong and even parasitic.

No thanks.
 
Theoretically, the "proper" response would be to have sex with those women and then dump them. If you were really "on your game," you could also be like rock stars and farm them out to friends for fun. And then if they complained, just say "don't hate the player, hate the game." The thing is, we're not all playing the game, which is why this talk of some hypothetical "game" is always B.S. The only people who cite "the game" are the ones who happen to be profiting by taking advantage of people who are of better moral upbringing than them.
 
mercaptovizadeh said:
Fist of all, I don't believe in evolution, at least not in the way you believe in it. And second, alluding to it in this context seems to be an attempt to remove the moral element from their poor behavior.

Someone who has fun sowing his/her oats, rolling in the hay, etc. and was generally irresponsible until they reached age 30+, then hoping/expecting/manipulating someone else who spent the first 30+ years of his/her life studying, working, earning a good living and generally being responsible, so that they can patch up the yawning canyon that is their dysfunctional life (messed up finances, lack of education/job/future, problematic children, etc.) - that is downright wrong and even parasitic.

No thanks.
Click to expand...

Your first statement goes against a foundation of modern biology, of which you heavily rely on by being on this forum. Evolution isn't a faith based system, it's science supported by extremely strong evidence.

Your second statement, I definitely agree 🙂 However, such is life and that's what women will strive to do.
For men, chances are if you want anything close to an attractive wife/long term partner, you'll have to settle for that. Most men by definition are just average looking, and won't have a very easy time finding an ideal partner.
 
studentp0x said:
Your first statement goes against a foundation of modern biology, of which you heavily rely on by being on this forum. Evolution isn't a faith based system, it's science supported by extremely strong evidence.

Your second statement, I definitely agree 🙂 However, such is life and that's what women will strive to do.
For men, chances are if you want anything close to an attractive wife/long term partner, you'll have to settle for that. Most men by definition are just average looking, and won't have a very easy time finding an ideal partner.
Click to expand...

And you wonder why I don't think very highly of some of your opinions.
 
Freesia88 said:
And you wonder why I don't think very highly of some of your opinions.
Click to expand...

I think he means to say "the type of woman who would be promiscuous and party in their early life will strive to do that." There are lots of women who aren't doing that, for example often in professional women (doctors, lawyers). There are a certain class of women who like to have their fun and then try to "marry up" into a life of comfort when they're done having their fun.

By the way, this is getting way off topic.
 
ruralsurg4now said:
I think he means to say "the type of woman who would be promiscuous and party in their early life will strive to do that." There are lots of women who aren't doing that, for example often in professional women (doctors, lawyers). There are a certain class of women who like to have their fun and then try to "marry up" into a life of comfort when they're done having their fun.

By the way, this is getting way off topic.
Click to expand...

this
 
I support the idea of a Russian bride deal. You sound like the perfect candidate. But dont pick the hottest one, that is always the noob mistake most fall for when they travel to the Motherland to interview all the potentials.

Also try to pick someone from a part of Eastern Europe that roughly matches the geography of the small town you are going to working in. ie- dont take a girl used to snow to the hot desert of Arizona.

Also under no circumstances pick a girl with no English skills whatsoever. Need at least a solid base to work with.

I would hit Eastern Europe, some selective Asian countries depending your own preference and perhaps South America/Mexico depending on where you are located.
 
I'm not in Russian brides. You never know what kind of diseases they're carrying.
 
ruralsurg4now said:
I'm not in Russian brides. You never know what kind of diseases they're carrying.
Click to expand...

Go see what's going on in your hospital pharmacy.

I'm serious. >50% of pharmacy grads these days are women. With a doctorate. And aren't gold digging. Check the walgreens, too.
 
ruralsurg4now said:
I'm not in Russian brides. You never know what kind of diseases they're carrying.
Click to expand...

Us dentists are pretty fantastic. We have awesome job security. And make enough money that if you ever wanted to sit at home and do nothing, we could support you.

Oh and female dentists are sexy. The end.
 
njac said:
Go see what's going on in your hospital pharmacy.

I'm serious. >50% of pharmacy grads these days are women. With a doctorate. And aren't gold digging. Check the walgreens, too.
Click to expand...

I'll do that. Yeah, Pharmacists and Physical Therapists are usually worth checking out, but it's very hospital dependent. In this rural area, everyone is over middle-aged. Even the nurses are all fairly old. But it's worth checking on, lol.
 
fancymylotus said:
Us dentists are pretty fantastic. We have awesome job security. And make enough money that if you ever wanted to sit at home and do nothing, we could support you.

Oh and female dentists are sexy. The end.
Click to expand...

I've never seen a female dentist, believe it or not. But some of the hygenists are pretty smoking. 😀 Then again, in this place, with everyone all toothless, I'm pretty sure there are no dentists nearby. :laugh:
 
LADoc00 said:
I support the idea of a Russian bride deal. You sound like the perfect candidate. But dont pick the hottest one, that is always the noob mistake most fall for when they travel to the Motherland to interview all the potentials.

Also try to pick someone from a part of Eastern Europe that roughly matches the geography of the small town you are going to working in. ie- dont take a girl used to snow to the hot desert of Arizona.

Also under no circumstances pick a girl with no English skills whatsoever. Need at least a solid base to work with.

I would hit Eastern Europe, some selective Asian countries depending your own preference and perhaps South America/Mexico depending on where you are located.
Click to expand...

lol... inb4 you wake up to them murdering you.
 
I think being single is not a bad thing. Just imagine that if you are single then you are free whatever you like to do in your life. There is no one going to harm you, no one will able to demand you, no one to nag you or something like that. It is like no strings attached. But if you are still looking a partner, try to ask some of your friends, They maybe able to help you find you a partner.
 
another thing is that, you won't spend money to your partner. you can save all the money you earn from your work. and of course you can go anytime to your house even late at night. How i wish I am still single. I am not regretting that I have girlfriend. It is just I realized that it is hard to have a girlfriend. That's it.
 
ruralsurg4now said:
I'm not in Russian brides. You never know what kind of diseases they're carrying.
Click to expand...

you can have them medically cleared as well as interviewed by panel of Psychiatrists for any possible DSMV issues as part of the selection. Of course you are also more than welcome to hiring local on the ground investigators to dig around on them for the potential crazy axe murder types.

May cost 20-40 grand but well worth it vs. possible divorce from some untested domestic crazy here in the states. And given your story, your emotional IQ is probably near "******ed" levels so you cant really trust yourself to find a wife on your own. Go with a professional oufit and do it right.
 
LADoc00 said:
you can have them medically cleared as well as interviewed by panel of Psychiatrists for any possible DSMV issues as part of the selection. Of course you are also more than welcome to hiring local on the ground investigators to dig around on them for the potential crazy axe murder types.

May cost 20-40 grand but well worth it vs. possible divorce from some untested domestic crazy here in the states. And given your story, your emotional IQ is probably near "******ed" levels so you cant really trust yourself to find a wife on your own. Go with a professional oufit and do it right.
Click to expand...

Lol, you're the one who knows about Russian mail-order brides. :laugh:
 
Correct me if I am wrong here, but is it not possible to "switch" between allied hospitals as an attending? Say the OP has a colleague in a more desirable location and wants to switch for whatever reason, could he not just do that for a few months and find a girl? I recently read this in a surgeon's biography and thought it might be worth posting.
 
I agree with the posters who say your best realistic hope is moving to a larger city. There are literally hundreds of thousands of well-educated twenty and thirty somethings in them because there are no real jobs for them outside of cities! Put your head down for 2-3 years and get out -- you can go back 5 years later. Also, I think you should shoot for someone at least 10 years younger than yourself. You basically want to marry into the pool that you would have emerged into had you graduated and found a job -- as you've noticed, many of the women your own age have major issues, since most of the normals who married in their twenties have remained married.

What I really think, though, is that you and Freesia88 should tie the knot and be SDN's first couple! I'd come live-post the ceremony! No seriously, you guys should get married.
 
Last edited:
NYCNative said:
I agree with the posters who say your best realistic hope is moving to a larger city. There are literally hundreds of thousands of well-educated twenty and thirty somethings in them because there are no real jobs for them outside of cities! Put your head down for 2-3 years and get out -- you can go back 5 years later. Also, I think you should shoot for someone at least 10 years younger than yourself. You basically want to marry into the pool that you would have emerged into had you graduated and found a job -- as you've noticed, many of the women your own age have major issues, since most of the normals who married in their twenties have remained married.
Click to expand...

I agree. I'm totally intending to just be here for 2 (3 on the outside) years and then immediately try to get back to "home base." The only reason I'm in a rural area is because of the job market. (By the way, for those who don't understand what I mean, you can definitely get a job as a general surgeon in a large city. However, most likely you will be underpaid and you'll be at the mercy of your partners. And, sorry to over-generalize, but most older surgeons are not good partners and abuse their junior partners.)

The only thing is that I'm looking into the future at that and I'll be 40, which is pretty daunting. Plus, it's always difficult, in my opinion, for someone in my position to really trust anyone. It's very self-defeating, but for example if a young, attractive woman was interested in me at age 40, I'd immediately be like "OK, she's interested in a physician, not me, personally."
 
ruralsurg4now said:
I agree. I'm totally intending to just be here for 2 (3 on the outside) years and then immediately try to get back to "home base." The only reason I'm in a rural area is because of the job market. (By the way, for those who don't understand what I mean, you can definitely get a job as a general surgeon in a large city. However, most likely you will be underpaid and you'll be at the mercy of your partners. And, sorry to over-generalize, but most older surgeons are not good partners and abuse their junior partners.)

The only thing is that I'm looking into the future at that and I'll be 40, which is pretty daunting. Plus, it's always difficult, in my opinion, for someone in my position to really trust anyone. It's very self-defeating, but for example if a young, attractive woman was interested in me at age 40, I'd immediately be like "OK, she's interested in a physician, not me, personally."
Click to expand...

A minority of women are interested in money, and won't care where that money comes from (physician, lawyer, business, etc.). But yea hard to tell, women under 25 rarely care about a guy's money, but over 25 after they've had their fun and want to settle, they'd look for someone who can support them and support them well.
 
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