Urrrrgh ...single?

This is me right now

oprah-shakes-head.gif

You're cancelled?!?!?

😀
 
Why not? It's an avenue for getting additional you-know-what. The women on those sites are generally attractive (since you can't be an ugly woman wanting a sugar daddy). What's the downside for them?

It's very unlikely someone with an attractive girlfriend who puts out will go seek more women. Wealthy people normally put A LOT of time into their work (whatever it may be).

The interviews I watched in the videos basically had the guys saying they couldn't pull off women as hot as the ones on that site.
I didn't bother scrolling up, but I'm pretty sure I was referring to all women on those sites.
You said all women liked a well educated and successful man. And I'm saying some don't care whilst most consider it secondary to a man's physical attractiveness and personality.
Why not? I've seen tons of attractive women (such as celebrities) turn into horrible wrecks. On the flip side, I'm sure we've also seen women who were 4s when they were younger and somehow they turn into 8s when they're older. It's almost chance. Some women have a kid and totally fall apart. Other women don't.

Those celebs were almost certainly drug users and/or alcoholics/heavy smokers.

Anyway, we're talking about someone you married at age ~25 who's a 4/10 at 40 years old. It's almost certain she was average looking around a 5-6/10 (by definition of average anyway).
 
They want a physically attractive guy as much as the guy wants a physically attractive girl. And that was what was common among those guys in "less respected careers" dating the hotter women.
Are you serious? Male nurses and male ancillary staff are generally more physically attractive that male doctors. But I rarely (in fact, never) see female doctors dating male nurses, but I have seen plenty of the other way around. So how do you explain that?
Men care more about fertility (expressed as physical attractiveness), because women play a vital role in breeding and feeding offsprings. Women care more about productivity (expressed as social economical status), because men were/are responsible for improving the survival chance and life quality of offsprings in the past millions of years. It is in our genes. Women seek productivity just as men seek physical attractiveness. And in a long term relationship, both men and women look for compatibility, that's when personality kick in.
 
Just to remind everyone, this thread is actually about the logistical difficulties of a physician (namely, me) getting dates. If you want to give me suggestions, that's great. If you want to debate the attractiveness of male nurses to male doctors, why don't you guys make your own thread?
 
Are you serious? Male nurses and male ancillary staff are generally more physically attractive that male doctors. But I rarely (in fact, never) see female doctors dating male nurses, but I have seen plenty of the other way around. So how do you explain that?
Men care more about fertility (expressed as physical attractiveness), because women play a vital role in breeding and feeding offsprings. Women care more about productivity (expressed as social economical status), because men were/are responsible for improving the survival chance and life quality of offsprings in the past millions of years. It is in our genes. Women seek productivity just as men seek physical attractiveness. And in a long term relationship, both men and women look for compatibility, that's when personality kick in.

Because those attractive men (~8/10s for example) won't be dating female doctors who are lesser attractive than them (4-6s), when they can date some random girl (7-9s) who's as attractive or more. Men almost always make the first move, if the male nurse doesn't find the female doctor hot, why in the world would they date them?

Don't forget one thing, an average looking female will get an average looking guy (typically) for dating purposes in the long term. She will obviously prefer the really hot guy or whatever, but why would a 9/10 guy actively pursue a 5/10 girl? Makes no sense.

Keep in mind, just cause a girl marries a more successful guy, doesn't mean she won't cheat with the better looking guy (the pool guy banging the rich guy's wife scenario). Once she realizes she can do better of course.
 
Because those attractive men (~8/10s for example) won't be dating female doctors who are lesser attractive than them (4-6s), when they can date some random girl (7-9s) who's as attractive or more. Men almost always make the first move, if the male nurse doesn't find the female doctor hot, why in the world would they date them?

Don't forget one thing, an average looking female will get an average looking guy (typically) for dating purposes in the long term. She will obviously prefer the really hot guy or whatever, but why would a 9/10 guy actively pursue a 5/10 girl? Makes no sense.

Keep in mind, just cause a girl marries a more successful guy, doesn't mean she won't cheat with the better looking guy (the pool guy banging the rich guy's wife scenario). Once she realizes she can do better of course.

You watch too much TV or p0rn.
 
Don't really want to get into it with the men/women debate - I'm a less attractive female married to a gorgeous dude so it happens. And seriously, studentpox, you need to get off it with the infidelity shtick. Don't know if you've had personal experiences that are jading your perspective or indeed watch too much porn/TV...

To the OP - it may be that after telling yourself you were going to focus on your studies you never really developed/finessed your non-platonic social skills. Not saying you're a bumbling idiot or anything, but it takes practice to be able to exude the confidence that is so attractive to so many people. You say you're pretty introverted (I was too) but it's about faking the confidence/social grace until it feels real. Dunno if your trouble is actually securing a date or making it to the next one, but be able to talk about a lot of different topics comfortably - not necessarily hot-button issues but small talk.

And maybe you weren't really into certain people right away, but if they weren't totally objectionable, maybe give them another shot. You'd be suprised how someone can grow on you. Good luck dude 🙂
 
Don't really want to get into it with the men/women debate - I'm a less attractive female married to a gorgeous dude so it happens. And seriously, studentpox, you need to get off it with the infidelity shtick. Don't know if you've had personal experiences that are jading your perspective or indeed watch too much porn/TV...

To the OP - it may be that after telling yourself you were going to focus on your studies you never really developed/finessed your non-platonic social skills. Not saying you're a bumbling idiot or anything, but it takes practice to be able to exude the confidence that is so attractive to so many people. You say you're pretty introverted (I was too) but it's about faking the confidence/social grace until it feels real. Dunno if your trouble is actually securing a date or making it to the next one, but be able to talk about a lot of different topics comfortably - not necessarily hot-button issues but small talk.

And maybe you weren't really into certain people right away, but if they weren't totally objectionable, maybe give them another shot. You'd be suprised how someone can grow on you. Good luck dude 🙂
http://www.statisticbrain.com/infidelity-statistics/
 
To the OP - it may be that after telling yourself you were going to focus on your studies you never really developed/finessed your non-platonic social skills. Not saying you're a bumbling idiot or anything, but it takes practice to be able to exude the confidence that is so attractive to so many people. You say you're pretty introverted (I was too) but it's about faking the confidence/social grace until it feels real. Dunno if your trouble is actually securing a date or making it to the next one, but be able to talk about a lot of different topics comfortably - not necessarily hot-button issues but small talk.

That's pretty much it. I'm fine with talking to men, or even women I'm not interested in. But when it's someone I like, I totally clam up. People always say "don't treat those women differently," but it's sort of hard to do. The main thing is that I really stink at making small talk. Like, I've experienced (and read) that when a woman meets a man, often she basically lets him control the conversation to begin with. That's what happens to me. Like, it would be awesome if I came up to a woman and said something and she started to chatter away randomly. That's what women I'm NOT interested in do. I'm great at that because then I just follow what they're saying and when I find something I want to comment on, I go for it. But women I am interested in never do that. I don't know if they're sensing that I like them or what, but they just sit there and reply with one word answers and then I have nothing to go off of. It's very frustrating. Usually, I get flustered by that and just shut down, so we end up standing for a few moments awkwardly, and then we'll just be like "anyway ..." and part ways.
 
Not sure what the point of those statistics is supposed to be - that infidelity happens? That's no surprise to anyone.
Because your post dismissed it as an unlikely scenario while the stats show that it is quite likely.
 
That's pretty much it. I'm fine with talking to men, or even women I'm not interested in. But when it's someone I like, I totally clam up. People always say "don't treat those women differently," but it's sort of hard to do. The main thing is that I really stink at making small talk. Like, I've experienced (and read) that when a woman meets a man, often she basically lets him control the conversation to begin with. That's what happens to me. Like, it would be awesome if I came up to a woman and said something and she started to chatter away randomly. That's what women I'm NOT interested in do. I'm great at that because then I just follow what they're saying and when I find something I want to comment on, I go for it. But women I am interested in never do that. I don't know if they're sensing that I like them or what, but they just sit there and reply with one word answers and then I have nothing to go off of. It's very frustrating. Usually, I get flustered by that and just shut down, so we end up standing for a few moments awkwardly, and then we'll just be like "anyway ..." and part ways.
You`d probably have a really easy time if you were 16-25. Adding girls on BBM..twitter..facebook and meeting girls by texting them once your friends digitally introduced them to you.. would have made your first step 10x easier.

You`re best off meeting girls through friends.
 
To the women: what do you guys like talking about with guys? I'm being serious here, even if it sounds pathetic. When guys have come up to you, what do they generally talk about? I mean, what I would never do is some cheesy pickup line, but I know lots of guys will boldly approach a woman with the tried-and-true stinkers that make me cringe even hearing (I have no idea how women tolerate that). And since I don't know anything about the woman, I'm basically left with stuff on the level of "nice weather, huh?" which results in "uh ...yeah."
 
You`d probably have a really easy time if you were 16-25. Adding girls on BBM..twitter..facebook and meeting girls by texting them once your friends digitally introduced them to you.. would have made your first step 10x easier.

You`re best off meeting girls through friends.

Yeah, that's another thing that's frustrating. I'm basically on my own with no wingman because I don't live anywhere near any friends. (I don't really have work friends because I'm a young, single guy and everyone at the places I've worked at have been older and married. So it really doesn't work out. Like, you can't say to some 45-year-old guy, "hey, what's going on today?" because they'll say "gotta go home to the wife and kids.") I tried to get some nurses I was friends with to set me up with people, but they literally were picking just anyone who was single. I mean, it would be like they'd say "how about her?" and it would be some 50-year-old woman and I was like "what? Are you serious?" and they'd be like "hey, she's a very nice person." And I'd be like "OK, but she's also 50 years old! Come on!" After a while, they just stopped making suggestions because it was so disasterous.
 
That's pretty much it. I'm fine with talking to men, or even women I'm not interested in. But when it's someone I like, I totally clam up. People always say "don't treat those women differently," but it's sort of hard to do. The main thing is that I really stink at making small talk. Like, I've experienced (and read) that when a woman meets a man, often she basically lets him control the conversation to begin with. That's what happens to me. Like, it would be awesome if I came up to a woman and said something and she started to chatter away randomly. That's what women I'm NOT interested in do. I'm great at that because then I just follow what they're saying and when I find something I want to comment on, I go for it. But women I am interested in never do that. I don't know if they're sensing that I like them or what, but they just sit there and reply with one word answers and then I have nothing to go off of. It's very frustrating. Usually, I get flustered by that and just shut down, so we end up standing for a few moments awkwardly, and then we'll just be like "anyway ..." and part ways.

If you can finesse the skill of small talk, I think it would probably help a lot, even if it's obvious you like a girl. Before you go out, brainstorm a couple of things you can talk about but also take cues from the woman herself. Like freesia said, people love to talk about themselves so remark on something she's wearing (Oh, you're a Red Sox fan?) or what she's drinking (and maybe can you get her another one? 😉 and make it into a question or an opening for her to say something about herself. If you feel yourself floundering hard, end the conversation before it's too awkward but maybe come back to her later in the night.

One tip would be to practice on random people you encounter - when you go to the grocery store, start up a quick conversation while the cashier checks you out or with the guy making your subway sandwich. It's tough at first and you'll feel like a goof but I think the more you make small talk, the more you'll feel comfortable with it and the more confident you'll appear when it comes time to talk to a romantic interest, which is really the end goal.

As for stuff to talk about, I'm a little different than most girls that I know. I'm a huge sports fan - mostly football but hockey, college basketball and football, soccer are all awesome too. I love it when a guy takes me seriously enough to talk about sports with me. I think most girls like a guy with a sense of humor, so using a hugely cheesy pick up line and then something along the lines of "just kidding!" could work out. I like to learn about what people do and how they got to where they are in life, what kind of stuff they enjoy doing. I'm also the sort to want to go on an active/fun date (hiking, mini-golf, etc) instead of a fancy dinner and movie. But the thing is, all women are different and sometimes you have to take your cues from them - do they seem engaged in what they're talking about with a particular subject or are they giving you short answers? If so, find another topic to talk about.
 
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One tip would be to practice on random people you encounter - when you go to the grocery store, start up a quick conversation while the cashier checks you out or with the guy making your subway sandwich. It's tough at first and you'll feel like a goof but I think the more you make small talk, the more you'll feel comfortable with it and the more confident you'll appear when it comes time to talk to a romantic interest, which is really the end goal.

Well, the thing is that I've always been a guy who doesn't go out much. I know that's like "then no duh" but I've never really been into anyone at bars or clubs. Like, the few times I've gone to clubs, it's just people grinding on each other drunkenly (plus, I don't dance). And bars it's like people are totally piss drunk. It's tough for me because I'm into girl-next-door types, not like "look at me, I'm a slut!! Does this turn you on??" and they're generally not out getting bombed.

So I often will try to meet people at work, like single nurses or techs. And obviously it's tough because they're concentrating on work. People always say it's easy for physicians to meet nurses, for example, but whenever I'm interested in a nurse, she'll be dating some random non-medical guy. It'll be like "oh, yeah, my boyfriend is a house painter" and I'll be like "uh ...wtf?"
 
Bless your heart for not being a bar/club guy - generally not a good place to meet people that you want to become more serious with, anyway.

As for the house painters - the nurses see/work with doctors day in and day out. I would never want to date someone in my own field (what the heck do you talk about but work?) but some people find that really important as they'll be more understanding of the lifestyle. But you can get to be friends with the taken nurses and meet their friends who may be single and similarly attractive/intelligent/whatever floats your boat.
 
Bless your heart for not being a bar/club guy - generally not a good place to meet people that you want to become more serious with, anyway.

That's what I hear. Like, I read (online, so take it with a grain of salt) that only something like 20% of people meet the person they're serious about at bars or clubs. And I get that. But when I say to people "I don't go to bars," they all go "then how do you expect to find someone?" Or if I say "where do you meet people then, other than bars or clubs?" nobody can give me an answer. Like, it's all theoretical stuff (pardon me if this sounds bitter, I don't mean to be), like they'll say "uh ...well ...the grocery store?" or "the museum?" I mean, come on. I'm not saying you CAN'T do that, but that's probably as realistic as saying "I met my soulmate when we were both drunk and were throwing up in the alley." Where DO you meet people?

As for the house painters - the nurses see/work with doctors day in and day out. I would never want to date someone in my own field (what the heck do you talk about but work?) but some people find that really important as they'll be more understanding of the lifestyle. But you can get to be friends with the taken nurses and meet their friends who may be single and similarly attractive/intelligent/whatever floats your boat.

And I get that because I know people who would never date other physicians. But to me, that's someone who can understand your frustrations and also understand what you're talking about. I could never complain to a layperson, no offense to anyone. Like, sometimes I'll talk to my friend who is in IT and he'll be like complaining about something at work and I'll be like "I frankly don't comprehend anything you just said," so then he has to try to dumb it down for me until I do. That's how I would be with someone who wasn't medical.

I'd agree with the "befriend taken nurses" thing, but they'd just try to match me up with nurses I wasn't interested in. That's the most frustrating part. Like, I'd actually KNOW who I was interested in and nurses would be like "oh, no, you'd be much better off with ..." and I'd go "well, no offense, but could you help me out with this other nurse? Please?" but it was always really half-hearted. Like, I know women who have helped guys out. They do stuff like just go to other women and say "hey, so-and-so is into you" and then it goes from there. I'd never get that level of help.
 
Actually, let me correct that last part. Often I'll be interested in a nurse and she'll be dating someone already. And so the nurses are like "well, then that's that." But I didn't think it was wrong for them to just say "hey, this guy is into you, what do you think?" even in that situation. But at that point, it would be like "the end."
 
Well, the thing is that I've always been a guy who doesn't go out much. I know that's like "then no duh" but I've never really been into anyone at bars or clubs. Like, the few times I've gone to clubs, it's just people grinding on each other drunkenly (plus, I don't dance). And bars it's like people are totally piss drunk. It's tough for me because I'm into girl-next-door types, not like "look at me, I'm a slut!! Does this turn you on??" and they're generally not out getting bombed.

So I often will try to meet people at work, like single nurses or techs. And obviously it's tough because they're concentrating on work. People always say it's easy for physicians to meet nurses, for example, but whenever I'm interested in a nurse, she'll be dating some random non-medical guy. It'll be like "oh, yeah, my boyfriend is a house painter" and I'll be like "uh ...wtf?"
You sound like the guy version of me. Except I'm still in school with almost zero time for social interaction.
 
You sound like the guy version of me. Except I'm still in school with almost zero time for social interaction.

So what's your game plan? Because I always was like "well, after med school ..." and then it was "well, after residency ..." and now I'm like "HOLY CR*P!! NOOOOO!!!"
 
Where DO you meet people?

Well, if you're interested in people in the medical field, you're pretty much limited to meeting people at work or through friends/acquaintances at work. Other options include coffee shops, concerts, meet up events (local rock climbing group, just for a random example - meetup.com(I think?) is where you can find people who have similar interests to you and do stuff with them), etc.

I'd agree with the "befriend taken nurses" thing, but they'd just try to match me up with nurses I wasn't interested in. That's the most frustrating part. Like, I'd actually KNOW who I was interested in and nurses would be like "oh, no, you'd be much better off with ..." and I'd go "well, no offense, but could you help me out with this other nurse? Please?" but it was always really half-hearted. Like, I know women who have helped guys out. They do stuff like just go to other women and say "hey, so-and-so is into you" and then it goes from there. I'd never get that level of help.

Not sure how you've approached them about it, so maybe this advice isn't worth much, but do you say, "Hey, I'm interested in Shelly. Do you know if she has a boyfriend already?" or some such approach. If she does have a boyfriend...I can't really argue that they stir the pot by adding you into the equation (where's studenpox with his cheating statistics? 😀) Or you could approach Shelly herself and feel out the situation. Another option is to listen to the nurses when they suggest someone that you might not at first be interested in. I mean, if she has no teeth and smells like onions or is otherwise objectionable, that's understandable. But I wouldn't discount the chance that you might become interested in someone if you got to know them a bit better.
 
Well, if you're interested in people in the medical field, you're pretty much limited to meeting people at work or through friends/acquaintances at work. Other options include coffee shops, concerts, meet up events (local rock climbing group, just for a random example - meetup.com(I think?) is where you can find people who have similar interests to you and do stuff with them), etc.

Yeah, I actually googled for "where to meet people other than bars or clubs" (good ol' Google, lol) and found meetup.com. I'm actually going to a meetup in a week or so, but it's tough because most of the meetups by people in my age range are ...bars and clubs. No joke. I'm going to play laser tag, but honestly everyone going is apparently either older and/or married, so it's literally just to meet new people (which is fine). I'm love to find other young professionals in this area, but nobody knows. Like, all the people going to this laser tag thing are (no joke) miners (not "minors," this guy actually mines stuff for a job) or high school dropouts.

Not sure how you've approached them about it, so maybe this advice isn't worth much, but do you say, "Hey, I'm interested in Shelly. Do you know if she has a boyfriend already?" or some such approach. If she does have a boyfriend...I can't really argue that they stir the pot by adding you into the equation (where's studenpox with his cheating statistics? 😀) Or you could approach Shelly herself and feel out the situation. Another option is to listen to the nurses when they suggest someone that you might not at first be interested in. I mean, if she has no teeth and smells like onions or is otherwise objectionable, that's understandable. But I wouldn't discount the chance that you might become interested in someone if you got to know them a bit better.

I told them that I thought a nurse was cute and I'd point them out. I think the one was totally out of my league and they were just being nice by not saying it, but there was another one where they honestly just didn't even care to try. And I approached that girl (she was actually a PA of another surgeon) and tried chatting her up. The only thing was I didn't ask her out right then and there because I figured that was too forward. But I asked them if they could find out about the situation with her and they were like "sure" and then never did anything.

As far as going for someone I'm not interested in, please don't get offended by this, but I really need to have some sort of physical attraction towards someone. There were lots of nice nurses who I just had no feelings towards and I honestly can't see myself going out with someone like that. I'm sure women are like that, too, right?
 
Yeah, I actually googled for "where to meet people other than bars or clubs" (good ol' Google, lol) and found meetup.com. I'm actually going to a meetup in a week or so, but it's tough because most of the meetups by people in my age range are ...bars and clubs. No joke. I'm going to play laser tag, but honestly everyone going is apparently either older and/or married, so it's literally just to meet new people (which is fine). I'm love to find other young professionals in this area, but nobody knows. Like, all the people going to this laser tag thing are (no joke) miners (not "minors," this guy actually mines stuff for a job) or high school dropouts.

I told them that I thought a nurse was cute and I'd point them out. I think the one was totally out of my league and they were just being nice by not saying it, but there was another one where they honestly just didn't even care to try. And I approached that girl (she was actually a PA of another surgeon) and tried chatting her up. The only thing was I didn't ask her out right then and there because I figured that was too forward. But I asked them if they could find out about the situation with her and they were like "sure" and then never did anything.

As far as going for someone I'm not interested in, please don't get offended by this, but I really need to have some sort of physical attraction towards someone. There were lots of nice nurses who I just had no feelings towards and I honestly can't see myself going out with someone like that. I'm sure women are like that, too, right?

You're doing the right thing by meeting people though - you never know what kind of interesting folks you'll become friends/acquaintances with and may get a party invitation or whatnot and meet someone there. Stranger things have happened.

It may be that they aren't helping you in earnest because they don't know you all that well. Not saying you need to be BFF with all of the nurses, but the better they know you, the more likely they are to help you out. It's also possible they got busy, or they don't even know the girl that well. But don't be afraid to keep doing your own legwork. If you chatted with someone you were interested in, it's OK to ask her to coffee or something low-key early on. It's also good to show continued interested by finding her again a couple days later and chatting a bit more, get to know her. The other nurses can help you out, but they can't do all of your leg work. Having the confidence to check in again with someone is a big plus.

As for attraction, not at all offended - women are like that too.
 
So what's your game plan? Because I always was like "well, after med school ..." and then it was "well, after residency ..." and now I'm like "HOLY CR*P!! NOOOOO!!!"
I've joined meet up and plenty of fish. The area I'm in right now doesn't seem big for meet ups. And pof is hit or miss with guys having their interest as looking for a relationship. But they then message you and it sounds like they're looking for a hook-up.

I hate trying to dig through the BS.

There are probably a dozen guys that I have a 'mutual interest' with but none have messaged me. Maybe I have to take the first step?
 
You're doing the right thing by meeting people though - you never know what kind of interesting folks you'll become friends/acquaintances with and may get a party invitation or whatnot and meet someone there. Stranger things have happened.

Lol, nah. I mean, I definitely know that just meeting people in general is good, regardless. But these guys all seem pretty insulated. Like, they're all on meetup for the same reason I am, which is basically that we're all trying to meet new people (for friends, I mean, not for dates). So I highly doubt that this will go anywhere else.


It may be that they aren't helping you in earnest because they don't know you all that well.

It's definitely a possibility. I don't really tell people much about myself -- at work, I think people always wondered what I did other than "be a doctor" -- but we were on pretty good terms. We'd banter back and forth all the time. I figured that they would have at least helped me get a foot in the door, so to speak. I thought women were all about "being matchmakers" and loved being involved in that sort of thing. I actually ended up doing my own legwork, as you say. But then it comes down to me not having a clue what to talk about. Like, with this PA, I "pretended" that I was just running into her in the physician's lounge and I was like "oh, hi, I've never seen you before! I'm [my name]." And she introduced herself and I was like "are you one of the PAs?" I told her I was one of the surgeons. Promising start, right? Well, she didn't really help me out with the conversation beyond that. She was sitting with another PA and that person just watched us, so I figure if she was totally disgusted by me they would have just eased out of it and left. But instead, they both just kept glancing at each other and not really saying much. Well, like I say, I didn't feel like it would be appropriate to just randomly ask her out right off the bat. Which was unfortunate because I didn't see her again. 🙁
 
I've joined meet up and plenty of fish. The area I'm in right now doesn't seem big for meet ups. And pof is hit or miss with guys having their interest as looking for a relationship. But they then message you and it sounds like they're looking for a hook-up.

I hate trying to dig through the BS.

There are probably a dozen guys that I have a 'mutual interest' with but none have messaged me. Maybe I have to take the first step?

Yeah, everyone tells me to use OK Cupid, but honestly, I looked on there and it's like a lot of people that are there for hookups and stuff. I dunno about whether women have to take the first step. I guess if nobody is messaging you, you have to because there's nothing to lose at that point. But if you're like me, I bet you don't really find anyone that you think is that attractive on those sites. I mean, for me, one of the biggest criteria is education, and once I hit "must have at least a bachelor's degree," 80% of the women disappear. (Not saying that 80% of women don't have bachelor's degrees. I'm saying that 80% of the women on dating sites where I am apparently don't have them.)

I send out messages to women, but don't really get any responses. It's not because I'm physically unattractive, since women in real life usually tell me I look really cute (not hot, though). I look REALLY young (patients think I'm a teenager and when I wear a white coat they at best think I'm a med student). I don't know if that's it because older women will look at my profile -- like, 40 or 41-year-olds, and then leave (which is fine because I don't see myself dating them). But when I try to message younger women, they don't reply. I've been told that if the picture looks really young relative to the age, people think it's a fake account. But I really can't do anything other than present my actual picture, so I'm sort of screwed.
 
I'm 26 and people routinely think I'm 15 - I feel you.

Sounds like your chat skills need polishing. For example, if you hadn't ever seen her before, ask if this hospital is her home base (I have no idea if that makes sense in context, but you get the idea) or elsewhere. Or ask why you haven't seen her around - does she work in a different area of the hospital or with another doctor? (Bonus - you know where to find her!) Which one or which area of the hospital? How does she like working with that person? Has she always worked in oncology or has she spent time in other fields (within the medical field)? Is she from around here or did she move here? What made her move here? Not that you have to grill her for her life story, but these are some leads you can get started with. The next important part is a graceful exit - you've had your chat, time to go back to work. But follow up 🙂 (And if you got her name, can't you look that up at the hospital? Not stalkerish if you don't tell her 😉)
 
Plenty of fish = plenty of whales.

Dating sites in general.. you won`t find any decent attractive girls for dating purposes. It isn`t bad for casual sex though if you`re having a dry spell and you`re pretty attractive.
 
I'm 26 and people routinely think I'm 15 - I feel you.

Sounds like your chat skills need polishing. For example, if you hadn't ever seen her before, ask if this hospital is her home base (I have no idea if that makes sense in context, but you get the idea) or elsewhere. Or ask why you haven't seen her around - does she work in a different area of the hospital or with another doctor? (Bonus - you know where to find her!) Which one or which area of the hospital? How does she like working with that person? Has she always worked in oncology or has she spent time in other fields (within the medical field)? Is she from around here or did she move here? What made her move here? Not that you have to grill her for her life story, but these are some leads you can get started with. The next important part is a graceful exit - you've had your chat, time to go back to work. But follow up 🙂 (And if you got her name, can't you look that up at the hospital? Not stalkerish if you don't tell her 😉)

Yeah, see, everything you said makes perfect sense and is something I could do online, but my head locks up in real life. 🙁 I was actually just proud of the fact that I got as far as I did, which was like a minute conversation (sad, right?). Again, that's what frustrates me because I was hoping she'd throw me a bone and start talking, but she really just sat there, which is what women generally do when I approach them. I got her first name and I knew who she worked for, but nobody seemed to know much more. (I actually asked one of the guy circulators for some info on her and he told me what days she worked, but even though I hung out in the lounge on those days for like a freakin' month, she never showed up again.) I guess I could have asked her boss (the surgeon), but she was a woman who was way older than me and I really felt that would not go well like "hey, your PA is hot." She would have been like "OK, I'm going to report this to the administration" or something.
 
Plenty of fish = plenty of whales.

Dating sites in general.. you won`t find any decent attractive girls for dating purposes. It isn`t bad for casual sex though if you`re having a dry spell and you`re pretty attractive.

Where do you live?

My friends and I have had decent luck with online dating in all of the major metropolitan areas...
 
Where do you live?

My friends and I have had decent luck with online dating in all of the major metropolitan areas...

That's because the sites are heavily dependent on location. It's basically a paradox because you don't NEED dating sites in New York City. But if you look, there are probably tens of thousands of people from NYC on there. In contrast, in the rural areas, you DO need dating sites, but that's where you only have like 100 people on ...not because of the dating site, but because there are so few people. Dating sites are worthless for me because I literally start out with something like 500 people and as soon as I put in "no smoking" and "doesn't do drugs at all," it goes to 200. And it goes from there. Basically, to have a shot where I am, I have to not care about anything other than "is female."
 
Plenty of fish = plenty of whales.

Dating sites in general.. you won`t find any decent attractive girls for dating purposes. It isn`t bad for casual sex though if you`re having a dry spell and you`re pretty attractive.
Enough moderately attractive people I know have had decent luck on pof and other similar sites to make it worth the crap I've encountered.
 
OK, I'll bite and register for POF and see what I have to deal with. I'll report to you guys how it is in a few days.
 
Woah, that didn't work at all. I got 42 matches (ha ha!), and a bunch of them had no photos. I see maybe two people I'd be interested in, but one of them is self-described "country" and likes "muddin'" ...so that probably won't work, lol. Oh, well, so much for that.
 
Woah, that didn't work at all. I got 42 matches (ha ha!), and a bunch of them had no photos. I see maybe two people I'd be interested in, but one of them is self-described "country" and likes "muddin'" ...so that probably won't work, lol. Oh, well, so much for that.
As you cycle through the meet/don't meet/maybe, you get more matches. Also, I think you can specify they must have a picture.

I hope that's not indicative of how quickly you call it quits?
 
As you cycle through the meet/don't meet/maybe, you get more matches. Also, I think you can specify they must have a picture.

I hope that's not indicative of how quickly you call it quits?

Nah, I'm not quitting, I'm just pessimistic. I don't know if I'm doing it wrong because they show additional photos all over the place, but they're of people from all over the country, so that's sort of weird. I messaged three women (including the accountant who was into muddin', lol), so we'll see if there's anything that goes on. I don't think it's gonna happen, though. I was sort of amused that "has a car" is such an important thing to the website.
 
Nah, I'm not quitting, I'm just pessimistic. I don't know if I'm doing it wrong because they show additional photos all over the place, but they're of people from all over the country, so that's sort of weird. I messaged three women (including the accountant who was into muddin', lol), so we'll see if there's anything that goes on. I don't think it's gonna happen, though. I was sort of amused that "has a car" is such an important thing to the website.
I don't understand the deal with 'has a car'. It really seems pointless. But what do I know?

Good luck.
 
Also, apparently women have a totally different understanding of "average" build than I do. Like, I don't mind a few extra pounds, but people who are like 250 lbs are calling themselves "average." I'm sort of scared to see what I'd get if I took off the "body type" filter.
 
Also, apparently women have a totally different understanding of "average" build than I do. Like, I don't mind a few extra pounds, but people who are like 250 lbs are calling themselves "average." I'm sort of scared to see what I'd get if I took off the "body type" filter.
😱

Maybe that's average for their part of the woods? I've found guys can be just as guilty of misreporting. While body type may be reported correctly, the pictures are of a better time.

Take everything with a grain of salt.
 
It actually might be ...which is depressing. Yeah, like I said, I wasn't aware of how prevalent the whole "fake picture" thing is. After all, what's the point of having a fake picture? As soon as you meet, the jig is up.
 
Nah, I'm not quitting, I'm just pessimistic. I don't know if I'm doing it wrong because they show additional photos all over the place, but they're of people from all over the country, so that's sort of weird. I messaged three women (including the accountant who was into muddin', lol), so we'll see if there's anything that goes on. I don't think it's gonna happen, though. I was sort of amused that "has a car" is such an important thing to the website.
That "has a car" question is the very reason I never finished my POF profile.

Then again, 2 of the nurses I work with have married guys they met on POF in the last month.
 
That "has a car" question is the very reason I never finished my POF profile.

Then again, 2 of the nurses I work with have married guys they met on POF in the last month.

It makes me think that the people on here are either broke or are high school kids. Were those nurses unattractive or really old? I don't mean that offensively, but the few people who identified themselves as nurses I've seen anywhere on any dating site (Match, eHarmony, POF) have been like way old and (again, no offense) not good looking.
 
It makes me think that the people on here are either broke or are high school kids. Were those nurses unattractive or really old? I don't mean that offensively, but the few people who identified themselves as nurses I've seen anywhere on any dating site (Match, eHarmony, POF) have been like way old and (again, no offense) not good looking.

Admittedly both are on the heavier side, but pretty faces and really nice girls. Both are 30.

Is there any way you can work all your shifts lumped together?

I work about 70 miles outside a major city. I rent a room in the town with the hospital for days that I work.

I keep an apartment in the city and do all of my dating there.

It's not perfect, but I make it work.
 
Where do you live?

My friends and I have had decent luck with online dating in all of the major metropolitan areas...
I`m in Canada but I`ve seen the plenty of whales thing about POF in several forums online.. and everyone always agrees. I`ve browned through lists of women before in different cities too, overall... very common to find fat chicks on there.
 
Also, apparently women have a totally different understanding of "average" build than I do. Like, I don't mind a few extra pounds, but people who are like 250 lbs are calling themselves "average." I'm sort of scared to see what I'd get if I took off the "body type" filter.
loooll...

average = overweight
few extra pounds = full out fat (obese)
BBW: hope this is your fetish

Just to help you interpret 🙂

Also, hen I did do the POF thing 2-3 years ago, I had multiple figures showing off my physique (I`m 190 7% body fat, competitive powerlifter physique) and had a very outgoing profile showing off everything I had, and even then... I`d only get a few responses when I sent out bulk loads of messages.
People who didn`t have the above, always told me they wouldn`t even get a single reply.
Of course it varies, and most chicks get their inboxes blasted full of messages, so luck is a factor.
 
It actually might be ...which is depressing. Yeah, like I said, I wasn't aware of how prevalent the whole "fake picture" thing is. After all, what's the point of having a fake picture? As soon as you meet, the jig is up.

because...chloroform.

And using the phrase 'no offense' and saying "unattractive" (subjective)...is weaksauce.
 
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