Vent and advice: How do you deal with people micromanaging you?

[NeighborhoodCatLady]

For the past couple of months I’ve been noticing that I keep running into people who may think that they are helping me but instead come off as if they are on power trips. I experienced it again in class today.

I am in an anatomy lab with a woman who feels like she must watch every move I make and comment on everything I do. For most people in the class, this is their first class of the sort. However, this is my third. I try not to be cocky and too sure; however, if my friends or classmates ask me for help and I can, I try to use what I learned in my other classes to help them. Example: if they want to know which muscles attach at a certain point, I’ll share an applicable mnemonic. But, it seems like every time I say something this woman is around to tell me why my mnemonic or advice won’t work. And, it’s like I can’t get near the cadavers without her watching me like a hawk and “reminding” me what to do. I don’t see what the issue is, because I’m careful not to give out wrong information or damage the specimens. (In contrast, I realize that she sometimes gives my classmates incorrect information. I don’t say anything, though.) I’m trying to be humble and understand where she’s coming from, but I’m also getting annoyed.

How do you all deal with this? I don’t want to come off cocky, but I would like for people like her to stop micromanaging me.

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[deleted887473]

Is this person a professor/instructor, or just an assistant lab instructor? If they are the former they probably know what they are talking about and you might want to self-reflect if they point something out, as mnemonic etc might not be the most helpful way to learn something.
Regardless of who they are, if you have the chance, go talk to this person directly and tell them honestly that they are making you feel uncomfortable.

 

[Kpw101]

Personally I tend to just ignore and nod at people like this. Don't let it get under your skin and continue to be constructive to your classmates.

 

[NeighborhoodCatLady]

Is this person a professor/instructor, or just an assistant lab instructor? If they are the former they probably know what they are talking about and you might want to self-reflect if they point something out, as mnemonic etc might not be the most helpful way to learn something.
Regardless of who they are, if you have the chance, go talk to this person directly and tell them honestly that they are making you feel uncomfortable.

She’s an assistant—a student like me. If she were an instructor I would definitely tone t down. Still, I’m trying to see if she may have a point. But it’s the constant hovering over me that’s annoying me. I asked my classmate if I was coming off any type of way, and she said “no” and that the other woman just seems to be “like that”.

 

[deleted887473]

She’s an assistant—a student like me. If she were an instructor I would definitely tone t down. Still, I’m trying to see if she may have a point. But it’s the constant hovering over me that’s annoying me. I asked my classmate if I was coming off any type of way, and she said “no” and that the other woman just seems to be “like that”.

If she's a student no need to let it get to you; some people are just like that. Still if you feel she's getting out of line talk to her or the instructor.

 

[Goro]

For the past couple of months I’ve been noticing that I keep running into people who may think that they are helping me but instead come off as if they are on power trips. I experienced it again in class today.

I am in an anatomy lab with a woman who feels like she must watch every move I make and comment on everything I do. For most people in the class, this is their first class of the sort. However, this is my third. I try not to be cocky and too sure; however, if my friends or classmates ask me for help and I can, I try to use what I learned in my other classes to help them. Example: if they want to know which muscles attach at a certain point, I’ll share an applicable mnemonic. But, it seems like every time I say something this woman is around to tell me why my mnemonic or advice won’t work. And, it’s like I can’t get near the cadavers without her watching me like a hawk and “reminding” me what to do. I don’t see what the issue is, because I’m careful not to give out wrong information or damage the specimens. (In contrast, I realize that she sometimes gives my classmates incorrect information. I don’t say anything, though.) I’m trying to be humble and understand where she’s coming from, but I’m also getting annoyed.

How do you all deal with this? I don’t want to come off cocky, but I would like for people like her to stop micromanaging me.

She’s an assistant—a student like me. If she were an instructor I would definitely tone t down. Still, I’m trying to see if she may have a point. But it’s the constant hovering over me that’s annoying me. I asked my classmate if I was coming off any type of way, and she said “no” and that the other woman just seems to be “like that”.

You need to be a grown up and confront her (gently and professionally) and tell her nicely to knock off her behavior. If this doesn't work, talk to the professor and any TAs.

If you do nothing, I guarantee that nothing will change.

 

[NeighborhoodCatLady]

You need to be a grown up and confront her (gently and professionally) and tell her nicely to knock off her behavior. If this doesn't work, talk to the professor and any TAs.

If you do nothing, I guarantee that nothing will change.

Yeah, you’re right. I’m just really shy. If it continues I’ll talk to her about it.

 

[OrthoTraumaMD]

Be there before she is. Be helpful. Let go of your ego. Micromanagers will leave you alone if they see that you’re on their side and that you can be trusted.
The bigger question is, why is she managing you at all if she isn’t a higher level than you?


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