Do you have to be a “people person” to be a good doctor?

[corgo]

Someone told me that medicine is a field where you’ll meet the worst type of people during the worst days of their lives. I’ve recently encountered several patients at the clinic I work at (I work as a medical assistant) who fit this statement and it has me wondering if this will be what my future looks like.. some of these patients are just downright rude. The PAs and docs at the clinic sometimes complain/get annoyed at patients AND to top that off, they are having to deal with insurances and loads of admin work. I asked one of our surgeons if he was a “people person” and he said, no. He hates the small talk and all the paperwork, but in an OR, he shines. He can’t imagine doing anything else but fix people up and see them be able to walk again/recover. A co-worker of mine who aspires to be a PA says that she dislikes people but she’s great with people. Additionally, I’ve heard other healthcare professionals talk about how they chose pediatrics so that they didn’t have to deal with geriatrics. Is this wrong to favor a group to treat over the other? Do you have want to really care about/like people to stay in the medical field?

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[MaryAccepted]

Someone told me that medicine is a field where you’ll meet the worst type of people during the worst days of their lives. I’ve recently encountered several patients at the clinic I work at (I work as a medical assistant) who fit this statement and it has me wondering if this will be what my future looks like.. some of these patients are just downright rude. The PAs and docs at the clinic sometimes complain/get annoyed at patients AND to top that off, they are having to deal with insurances and loads of admin work. I asked one of our surgeons if he was a “people person” and he said, no. He hates the small talk and all the paperwork, but in an OR, he shines. He can’t imagine doing anything else but fix people up and see them be able to walk again/recover. A co-worker of mine who aspires to be a PA says that she dislikes people but she’s great with people. Additionally, I’ve heard other healthcare professionals talk about how they chose pediatrics so that they didn’t have to deal with geriatrics. Is this wrong to favor a group to treat over the other? Do you have want to really care about/like people to stay in the medical field?

Your questions interest me -- I think the truest answer is that doctors need to understand people. It may just be that particular specializations in medicine engage/interact/interface with people from various angles and you'll have to find your groove.

 

[Goro]

For the most part, yes.

 

[deleted1163194]

I think you have to at least want to be around people - I mean you're a doctor, it's kinda part of the job. Now whether that makes you a "people person" is a different debate. I don't think you have to be one for enjoying the banalities of small talk, but the ability to form close relationships with others is paramount.

 

[pierty]

These are a lot of questions - I think it's good to be thinking of these things early.

In general, most specialties will have a lot of patient interaction so if that interaction is energizing or fulfilling to you, it can help a lot. There's a happy middle between interacting with patients empathetically/being relatable, and being a leader/guide through stressful times, that takes time to cultivate, even if you are naturally gifted. It can be a pressure cooker at times, and you will often have to juggle this while managing multiple patients, bureaucracy, and moments of high tension in stressed co-workers. It's made easier if you are good with people, and have a stable mentality/sense of self worth (and a sense of humor/optimism in the right context goes a long way).

That being said, no one is perfect. People tend to stratify into specialties based on their personalities - and those who find that they don't like (or aren't good with) patient interaction gravitate towards specialities like radiology, pathology, certain surgical specialties, etc. A pediatrician who went into pediatrics is not "wrong" for "favoring" a group over another - it's smart and most beneficial to patients, as that person feels more fulfilled and energized by their work, and are in turn better at it.

It's a large and diverse field - if you're passionate and motivated, you will find your way.

 

[lumya]

I don’t think you have to be a good person to be a functional doctor but if you don’t enjoy the work, it makes it harder to keep on going. There’s a lot of bureaucracy that happens and things do get frustrating, but being able to look beyond that and find some meaning helps.

A surgeon recently told me that she was tired, not burnt out. Because burnt out to her would mean that she stopped caring, but she hasn’t gotten to that point. And that really stuck with me.

 

[Mr.Smile12]

"People person", yes because at the core, you work with patients and team members. Some specialties may rely less on it for you to be successful, but having good interpersonal skills is a competency, even in life.

 

[wook]

Medicine is a team sport, so you will likely be playing with others.

 

[LunaOri]

You need empathy, good communication skills, and the ability to “play well with others”. You do not need to be an extrovert, warm/fuzzy type.

 

[Fluidity of Movement]

You could be the most diagnostical genius ever to grace the planet with encyclopedic knowledge of every textbook you've ever read, but it won't help you when the patient hides something important from their history because they have no connection with you, or feel judged. (Or because you didn't ask how their camping trip went and discover the hot dog eating contest they were in but forgot to mention).

Incomplete information = incomplete diagnosis.

 

[Angus Avagadro]

I agree with all of the above. Most of medicine that is not procedural requires the ability to communicate and connect with people. My friends who are PCP's spend a lot of time with mental health issues in their office. I know a couple surgeons I don't want to drink beer with but would run to them if I needed their skills. These physicians are the minority as many with poor interpersonal lack superior surgical skills. I would define superior surgical skills as someone who is very efficient. They make it look so easy that I think I could do it.

 

[corgo]

Someone told me that medicine is a field where you’ll meet the worst type of people during the worst days of their lives. I’ve recently encountered several patients at the clinic I work at (I work as a medical assistant) who fit this statement and it has me wondering if this will be what my future looks like.. some of these patients are just downright rude. The PAs and docs at the clinic sometimes complain/get annoyed at patients AND to top that off, they are having to deal with insurances and loads of admin work. I asked one of our surgeons if he was a “people person” and he said, no. He hates the small talk and all the paperwork, but in an OR, he shines. He can’t imagine doing anything else but fix people up and see them be able to walk again/recover. A co-worker of mine who aspires to be a PA says that she dislikes people but she’s great with people. Additionally, I’ve heard other healthcare professionals talk about how they chose pediatrics so that they didn’t have to deal with geriatrics. Is this wrong to favor a group to treat over the other? Do you have want to really care about/like people to stay in the medical field

UPDATE: Thank you everyone! After reading all the posts and reflecting, I've realized that despite being tired after work and having all those negative experiences in the medical field so far, nothing beats the happiness of knowing you're making a difference. I can't think of another field where there's so much risk and sacrifice involved but also reward, vulnerability/connection, life-long learning, growth, and fulfillment! I'm just an army medic/civilian MA right now but in the next couple of years I hope to one day improve and change the lives of people as much as the physicians I've met and have worked with have.
I'm doing my best to get my medschool application ready for the next cycle!
Additionally, to the patients who seem like the "worst", it could be a number of things why they're the way they are in those moments. Matching their energy with genuine kindness, more understanding, and more patience are helpful and usually what they need. Knowing when to detach yourself from a situation and maintaining professionalism are also crucial skills to have. You don't have to be a "people person" ALL the time to stay in the medical field but like what several of you have said, it all comes down to good interpersonal skills and communication. When times are rough (which the medical field is), look at your "why" and let your passion drive you to keep going. I almost forgot this, I appreciate you SDN for reminding me.

 

[Fluidity of Movement]

Additionally, to the patients who seem like the "worst", it could be a number of things why they're the way they are in those moments. Matching their energy with genuine kindness, more understanding, and more patience are helpful and usually what they need. Knowing when to detach yourself from a situation and maintaining professionalism are also crucial skills to have. .

You don't have to like someone to want to help them. Many folks in my social circle are boycotting local mom and pop restaurants because of who they voted for. I don't want suffering on people I disagree with or dislike. Nobody deserves to be in financial ruin, or to be plagued with disease.

We are all supposed to be a community, and to have each other's backs. This is how things get better, but it's not always easy.

I find the more time one spends with people they disagree with or dislike, the more chances each person's good qualities have to rub off on one another.

 

[Angus Avagadro]

A

You don't have to like someone to want to help them. Many folks in my social circle are boycotting local mom and pop restaurants because of who they voted for. I don't want suffering on people I disagree with or dislike. Nobody deserves to be in financial ruin, or to be plagued with disease.

We are all supposed to be a community, and to have each other's backs. This is how things get better, but it's not always easy.

I find the more time one spends with people they disagree with or dislike, the more chances each person's good qualities have to rub off on one another.

Absolutely. Respect should be given before expecting to receive it. I might not like or agree with my adult children's choices, but I have to respect their right to make them. A successful business should stay out of politics. A good business person wants to make transactions with everyone. Upsetting paying customers makes no sense in the business world.

 

[jhmmd]

Someone told me that medicine is a field where you’ll meet the worst type of people during the worst days of their lives. I’ve recently encountered several patients at the clinic I work at (I work as a medical assistant) who fit this statement and it has me wondering if this will be what my future looks like.. some of these patients are just downright rude. The PAs and docs at the clinic sometimes complain/get annoyed at patients AND to top that off, they are having to deal with insurances and loads of admin work. I asked one of our surgeons if he was a “people person” and he said, no. He hates the small talk and all the paperwork, but in an OR, he shines. He can’t imagine doing anything else but fix people up and see them be able to walk again/recover. A co-worker of mine who aspires to be a PA says that she dislikes people but she’s great with people. Additionally, I’ve heard other healthcare professionals talk about how they chose pediatrics so that they didn’t have to deal with geriatrics. Is this wrong to favor a group to treat over the other? Do you have want to really care about/like people to stay in the medical field?

1. No; it's not wrong. This is how people choose specialties.
2. YES! If you're not curious about people/don't care (How did that happen? How can I help you?) you will not go very far, probably not past med school.

Good luck with everything and feel free to PM.

 

[longhaul3]

I don't think you have to be a people person at all. On the more obvious side you could go into pathology or teleradiology and never see or speak to a patient directly after you finish training

Even as a face to face clinician you don't have to like people or like interacting with them. I hate clinic, hate rounding, hate seeing consults for the most part. I rarely spend a second more than I have to seeing a patient. I like thinking about patients' cases, looking at their imaging, making a plan, and operating. I like seeing them do well postop but you don't have to like people to do that. I operate and have saved the lives of a lot of people with swastika tattoos, heinous criminal records, and even the immediate perpetrators of horrific crimes who were injuried in committing them—murder-suicide, attempted murderers shot in self defense, drunk driver causing mass casualty event, etc. I don't like these people but I like taking care of them.

I think your last question is different than the title question. I do think you should care about people. There are plenty of doctors who don't care much about their patients and still do good work, whether it's shift work in an ED or a couple OR days a week. I understand that but I don't respect it. Even if you don't like being around people or just don't like people in general you should care about them, at least from my perspective as a surgeon, if you're expecting them to put their lives in your hands.