vet school with a family?

Started by cozycleo
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I don't see myself being happy always sending off a good portion of my paycheck to credit companies every month. Yeah...you can probably have MOST of the things you want in life, but not all of them, not now anyway. And I guess if you're happy paying creditors all the time then go for it.

Personally...I intend to pay off my school bills as quickly as possible. My home mortgage I will take a longer time to pay off, but I have a goal of paying off my school bills in 6 years or less after I graduate. It is not worth it to me to spend $200,000 + in cash for my $100,000 education.

To me, there is no reason to live in debt your entire life. There is a time and a place to borrow money (school is one of them, a mortgage another) but just because you can borrow money, and just because you only have to make the minimum payment, doesn't mean you should. That's what this entire economic crisis is about...lenders who lent to people who cannot afford to pay it back (or worse, are defaulting) and people who are borrowing wayyy more than they really need.
 
I'm not talking about paying creditors all the time(aside from student loans and mortgage)...there's utilities, phone service, food, clothing, etc. If I could figure out a way to live without having to pay for all of those, I would quit working as soon as my loans were paid off. 😛

You can have what you want if you work hard and save. I personally don't use a credit card. Right now, if we can't afford something we want, we don't buy it until we can. This is one of the reason's I'm working while in school. I know plenty of people working on middle class incomes who have paid cash for their cars and their houses. I hope to have a solid down payment when I'm finally able to buy a house. I would LOVE to pay cash for my next car. I plan to pay off my student loans as soon as possible as well...when I graduate our household income won't 'really' change as all of my paycheck will go to my loans. We currently live comfortably on my husband's income and will continue to do so when I finish school until my loans are paid off.
 
Ok, this is just semantics...but...

A $100 utility bill is not the same as an $1800 a month loan payment. (I actually think this might be on the low end, correct me if I'm wrong). And if you're paying them off every month you're not really in debt, per se.

Sounds like you have a good plan in store. I think too often people go through vet school with blinders on and think "I'll figure it out how to pay for this when I'm done with vet school." Wrong. You need to think about it and plan for it now instead of later.

There's a good article out there regarding the "Elephant in the room" about vet school and loans. And I think it's even more relevant now in this sort of economic time period than ever.
 
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Just as a data point, I too plan to put at least 80% of my earnings to paying off my loans once I graduate (I'm allowing for family vacations and a little fun money, but we will live on my husband's income just as we do now. Unless something happens to my husband and he cannot work (he had a heart attack last year. This is actually why I want to go to school now and not wait. You never know what can happen and I want to have some marketable skills just in case I end up raising three kids on my own).
 
autumnmuse, I am there with you on the marketable skills. I already topped out in the field of zoo work I did; to go up I had to become a director of a zoo...and there really arent' that many zoos out there. I didn't feel like spending the next 3 decades watching the obituaries in hopes of getting a position as a director, which is about as competitive as vet school. Without a PhD, work in my field is limited to temp jobs without benefits, and with barely tolerable pay for the amount of travel/time/risk involved. My loving husband is a decade or so older than me, in good health, but I am pretty sure I will spend my later life without him (since I have already lost one husband to diabetes, I am pretty realistic), barring tragic accidents. I would like to, while we have a comfortable income, take the time to pursue my education and my career, so that when the time comes, I can be the provider. Vets may not earn 6 figures on average, but they earn a lot more than field biologists, lower level research biologists, and vet technicians. With our mortgage paid off (less than 10 years total since purchase), our cars paid off (we paid cash for those), and a decent savings in the bank, I am being realistic about opportunities to pursue a DVM and realistic about how healthy my own eggs will be through/after vet school. Besides, I know plenty of vets working well past retirement age now because they view it as thier calling.... so if I compare that to my husband's friends in business who work to retire early, I think my total contribution to 'society' would be about the same, even if I took a few years off (which I doubt I do.)
 
I don't know if this point has been made, but is it ever really a good time to have a child? IMHO, there will always be something that could be improved in life (money for example) or something that a person wants to accomplish before they are responsible for the huge time commitment that is a kid. If you want to start a family in vet school, then I think go for it because it is not like it gets more convenient as you get older. Nothing is perfect, and you don't know what life will bring you down the road.
 
Yeah Jochebed...we'll just have to agree to disagree on that one. (Re: quitting vet med for kids meaning you wasted your time in vet school). I think all of the effort you put into vet school and dedication you put into it was not time wasted, and hey, I'm not going to say I wasted my time for vet school if a year out of practice I get a disease where I cannot practice vet med ever again (which...I guess pregnancy is arguably so). (But at the same time...you CHOOSE to get pregnant...so...they are different in my mind). It's just not the path for me and I can accept that it is for you. 😉

I also don't think it is fair of you if you are a parent to bring your kids into a practice where I might be your practice partner. I understand if it is something that only happens a few times a year (hey, everyone has their emergencies)...but to me the work environment is NOT a place for your kids (I agree, if you have your own practice run solely by you and that decision affects only you, then...go for it...). Even the best behaved kids will often come out of the office and ask for more crayons or, when are we going home...etc. etc.

Ugh...procrastinating for bacteriology over here.

I find this thread very interesting/amusing. So what if we are beating a dead horse? :scared:

And re: male female roles. I'm sure it's no surprise that I do NOT buy into that at all. Marriage and family raising is a partnership where BOTH should share an equal and fair role.

And lastly...yep, I agree. I don't think there is ever a "good time" to have kids...which is why I am glad I don't have to worry about that decision!

I am really amazed and happy to see that a few vet students on here are being responsible and doing well with money. 🙂 👍
 
Well, without saying too much because I don't want the thread to be hijacked...it probably would have been better for me to say "men" and "women". I am a Christian (pick your adjective I'm probably it - way far right, fundamental, evangelical, conservative, KJB only-Baptist) and so while I believe men and women are spiritually equal in the eyes of God I believe that the Bible outlines that they have different roles in the church, home and society. If you, or anyone else, would like to explore this further I'm totally up for it, but I really don't want to get this thread sidetracked out of respect for the OP so...we can start a new thread? 🙂

I was raised and educated until high school in the Roman Catholic Church, and have been agnostic leaning atheist since I can remember (pick your adjective 😉 - very socially liberal, heathen, feminist, Objectivist) I feel like the topic of a woman's "role" in society and in the home is extremely relevant to a discussion on having a career and a family, as there's quite an intersection there (obviously I'm ignoring the "roles in the Church" part because that isn't something important to me - the Church is an entity that can define things in whatever way it wants and it will not affect me in the least).

I don't believe in the existence of clearly defined roles for anyone in society based on something that is almost strictly genetic and physical. I don't know if it's because I grew up climbing trees, riding my bike off cliffs and in front of cars, hiking barefoot in the woods, playing ice hockey (my sister figure skated - imagine what my mom had to put up financially since you figure skated and understand :laugh: ), and with the vast majority of my friends being male...but I just can't understand what you mean, I guess, by "roles." I want to understand (and perhaps debate 😉 ) your viewpoint, so please do elaborate!
 
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These may seem like trivial questions, but hear me out. I'm just trying to take your logic to its endpoint...So should all bathrooms be unisex? All men and all women in there together? Lockerrooms? After all, those symbols on the doors (which by the way are distinguished based on attire...) are assigned based on something that is strictly genetic and physical. At the Olympics men and women should compete against each other? Again, they're divided based just on their sex - they can't help it. Men and women are equal, right? Let's lump them all together in all things.

In my ideal world? There should be three options. I realize this is not feasible for many reasons - but in my little utopia there would be (taking the bathroom example) one for men, one women, and a unisex bathroom.

Then again, I'm quite against gender as a binary in the first place, and believe that gender and sex are separate entities - one psychological and the other physical.

Also, even though there are those of us out there that think there aren't/shouldn't be different roles based on sex - there are people like you who think there are 🙂 So why would it make sense to take away the choice to practice *that* belief by putting into place one just to make me happy?
 
Just a quick comment here...but I find the term "feminist" to be very interesting as many "feminists" often distance themselves from being/appearing "feminine". Not saying it's true of you or of all, but its an observation that I find amusing.

That depends on your own definition of the word. The way I feel about appearing "feminine" is that aesthetically it is more pleasing to me and likely others if I wear my hair long, stay in good shape, groom myself well (note: this does not include every day makeup application in my own case - I don't have the time or inclination towards such personally), and dress in a "feminine" way every so often. Most of my attire revolves around jeans and hoodies, though. 😉

As far as acting "feminine," in the Western culture sense of the word, if I behave as I naturally am inclined to behave, it's not very "feminine" at all. Were I to decide to represent society's definition of feminine, I would need to put on a facade, which I don't feel is right or sustainable. I'm not soft-spoken, graceful, submissive, gentle, nurturing or patient by nature. I'm loud, klutzy, dominant, rough, distant and impatient. I've been like that since I was very young - it was never a conscious decision to distance myself from some societal ideal.

Thanks for the info about the church and roles. Like I said, not altogether interested in it for my own purposes but good for completeness sake and understanding your views. 🙂

First and foremost I believe that God created man first and then woman. The man is the head and the woman is the help. That does NOT mean or condone subjugation, abuse, enforcement of extreme rules, etc. My husband is my head and my authority. He makes the ultimate, absolute final decisions on things in our household but almost always consults me and we usually agree beforehand anyway. It's not like it's some great and mighty decree from on high and I have to just duck my head and go along. But should there be a decision to make and I disagree and we can't come to agreement, I believe that at that point I am (and do, and have) to submit to his authority.

Obviously without believing that a deity created anybody, it follows that what came first is a moot point. I'm my own head, and continue to be even in the context of my long term relationship, and were I to decide to get married this would not change. To me, it seems demeaning to have to consistently have to submit to the authority of another person (outside of a parent-minor dynamic) without the context of advancement of your own means (i.e., the context of a boss or instructor).

I believe that men and women are...*surprise*...different! No matter how much the feminist movement tries to convince me that we are the same, I just don't see it. I am not as strong, I do not think the same way, I react emotionally very differently, I am stronger in certain subjects, I am weaker in other subjects - and many of these trends are similar for women and men in general, not just my husband and myself (anyone heard of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"?). My biggest gripe with the feminist movement is the blending of male and female. Men are becoming more effeminite and women are becoming more masculine and, honestly, I believe this is anti-Biblical. Throughout the Bible, start to finish, God reinforces differences between men and women, saved and unsaved, etc.

Biblical reasoning aside (as this is obviously not a concern to me), it is obvious that as a population there are physical differences between males and females. This is mainly due to sex hormones and their effects (secondary sex characteristics). Anecdotally, I'm smaller than the vast majority of men (in height and weight), but strong enough to hold my own playing hockey with them, and faster than most as well.

In terms of innate behavior, I'm not entirely sure that hormones at their physiological levels mediate emotions and reactions that strictly. Again anecdotally, I don't really think about things or react emotionally on a different level than most guys that I know. I have greater aptitude for and enjoyment of typically male-dominated subjects (I tend to be far more quantitative than qualitative) than traditionally female-dominated ones.

Because of my own proclivities, I'm not entirely convinced that a lot of the differences seen in society as a whole between the genders can be attributed to innate causes. I feel that environment and non-gender-related differences between individuals play a much bigger role in shaping this.

bills, housework, childrearing

It's good that you enjoy doing the "keeper of the home" stuff, and I do hope that it's an honest enjoyment. However, I most certainly do not enjoy those tasks and would never place them as "my responsibilities as a woman." My live-in SO and I, sinners 😉 that we are, split the financial responsibilities down the middle (we're both grad students, so making the same money), and he actually ends up with a lot of the household responsibilities. This is for a couple of reasons. One, because his research can be done from home and mine requires being gone for long hours of the week, in addition to my TA responsibilities and our courseloads being different. Two, because I am absolutely awful at things involving organizing or cleaning, though I do often enjoy cooking and experimentation with such (not that it always turns out well, per se...). 😀

Won't go into the child-rearing thing because once again, not affecting me.

These may seem like trivial questions, but hear me out. I'm just trying to take your logic to its endpoint...So should all bathrooms be unisex? All men and all women in there together? Lockerrooms? After all, those symbols on the doors (which by the way are distinguished based on attire...) are assigned based on something that is strictly genetic and physical.

I grew up sharing locker rooms with boys, so I don't see the need for separate ones, no. I don't really see a giant need for separate men's and women's restrooms, either. At the same time I recognize that some people have different beliefs from what I do regarding modesty and such. And the symbol on the door that you open in order to drop a load doesn't really have relevance as a role, either.

At the Olympics men and women should compete against each other? Again, they're divided based just on their sex - they can't help it. Men and women are equal, right? Let's lump them all together in all things.

I did not say that average men and women were physically the same, in fact, physical differences are provided for in that very statement. Size and strength differences are attributable to tangible physical phenomena like differences in sex hormones. Therefore, physically elite females often cannot compete with physically elite males in the majority of sports. There are, of course, points along a continuum where this does not apply to individuals (such as in the case of myself and my SO - I am much more physically capable than he is, but it is because I'm an athlete and he is a computer programmer with no athletic inclination, and if he had such an inclination he could become stronger than me, no doubt), but it's more physiological fact than definition of a role based on a societal construct.

A lot of your views depend on a Biblical concept of morality, so it isn't very surprising that mine are for the most part diametrically opposed, I guess. In my definition of "feminism," by the way, a person can aspire to what he or she is inclined towards and wishes to do, regardless of whether it's considered to be "masculine" or "feminine." I don't see it as black and white (or pink and blue, as the case may be 😛 ) in the least bit, and to me it's restrictive to confine my thinking to such absolutes.

How's that for disorganized and long? 😎
 
If I was the only one responsible for cleaning, childrearing, and everything else within the home.... I think I would elect to live alone, as to minimize the mess factor.

This honestly makes about as much sense to me as asking the father of your children to 'babysit' them for you. I know some people do that sort of thing (and think that way), and it works for them, but it's not something that would work for me.

Of course it's a mute point, since I don't date boys, but this is an interesting aspect of this discussion. I don't think there is a 'perfect' place to fit having the babies into a career, though I know I want some eventually. I figure if you're going to do it, you'll make the room to fit them in. I've seen vets with kids, so apparently people manage it somehow. 😀
 
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In terms of innate behavior, I'm not entirely sure that hormones at their physiological levels mediate emotions and reactions that strictly. Again anecdotally, I don't really think about things or react emotionally on a different level than most guys that I know. I have greater aptitude for and enjoyment of typically male-dominated subjects (I tend to be far more quantitative than qualitative) than traditionally female-dominated ones.

Because of my own proclivities, I'm not entirely convinced that a lot of the differences seen in society as a whole between the genders can be attributed to innate causes. I feel that environment and non-gender-related differences between individuals play a much bigger role in shaping this.

This logic doesn't take into account differences in innate sex hormones. I'm not saying that this is the case, but maybe your hormones are less than those of someone will more traditionally female behavioral inclinations. I'm not saying that hormones = behavior (not at all), but your anecdotal evidence is not, in my opinion enough to establish your point (though I do tend to agree with you more than Jochebed, personally). Just throwing that out there. You cannot establish an argument without first acknowledging variations in physiological and environment situations.

Your sexual fate is, in most cases, binary- you're male or you're female and that comes along with certain hormones that can influence behavior (sorry, little boys raised in the absence of "gender norms" still tend to play with guns). BUT the caveat (and in my opinion the right argument) is that, like most things, hormones and other behavior influencing characteristic (i.e. nurture) vary greatly among us.

And because of that... Gender is a spectrum.

At the end of the day, a classification cannot be made as to what the female's "role" is because it depends entirely on that female and her makeup (bad pun?). To each her own.

If Joche wants to cook for her husband every nite and that's the role she feels happiest in, I see no problem in that. If Nyanko wants to change with a bunch of boys- cool, let her. If someone wants to spend 4 years in vet school working really hard only to give it up to stay home with the kids- while I don't think that's logical, it's her prerogative because it's her priority. Live and let live. Sex = binary, gender = spectrum.

Just this girl's opinion. 🙂
 
I so wasn't going to get involved...but I can't help it. My coat sleeve keeps getting stuck in the door... 😀

So, Jochebed, this is entirely an honest question and I hope you won't perceive it as an attack...

If you think women shouldn't have teaching roles in the church (and as you mention, per the bible they shouldn't either) what is your impression of your female professors? Are they going against God's will? Or did he not really mean it "that" way just the way you interpret it as not teaching church things (and if so, why are you teaching us?). And if you really believe that, how can you feel confident in being a vet student if teaching is not really a woman's role, and her role is instead to raise kids and nurture her husband? Just asking...because the two seem to be in direct conflict with each other.

I was also raised Christian. But, really, can you honestly say you follow every single thing that was ever said in the bible? Think about that carefully before you answer - there are lots of really weird things in there.

/end religion discussion. LOL.

Honestly, I agree with the last poster. To eacht their own. 🙂 I know I certainly wouldn't be happy in that lifestyle, but at the same point, while I am a feminist and believe that everyone should be equal, I would be REALLY uncomfortable changing in a unisex bathroom. LOL.
 
This logic doesn't take into account differences in innate sex hormones. I'm not saying that this is the case, but maybe your hormones are less than those of someone will more traditionally female behavioral inclinations. I'm not saying that hormones = behavior (not at all), but your anecdotal evidence is not, in my opinion enough to establish your point (though I do tend to agree with you more than Jochebed, personally). Just throwing that out there. You cannot establish an argument without first acknowledging variations in physiological and environment situations.

Your sexual fate is, in most cases, binary- you're male or you're female and that comes along with certain hormones that can influence behavior (sorry, little boys raised in the absence of "gender norms" still tend to play with guns). BUT the caveat (and in my opinion the right argument) is that, like most things, hormones and other behavior influencing characteristic (i.e. nurture) vary greatly among us.

And because of that... Gender is a spectrum.

That's exactly what I was trying to get at, actually.

However, can you or anyone else definitively link classically "feminine" attributes or "masculine" attributes with sex hormones only? I'd wager to guess that you can't. And I did mention individual variation, under "non-sex-related differences," but perhaps I didn't make it clear what I meant. Anything physiological or genetic that can be related to behavior falls on a continuum, which is why I have an issue with the classification of attributes into those categories to begin with!

If Joche wants to cook for her husband every nite and that's the role she feels happiest in, I see no problem in that. If Nyanko wants to change with a bunch of boys- cool, let her. If someone wants to spend 4 years in vet school working really hard only to give it up to stay home with the kids- while I don't think that's logical, it's her prerogative because it's her priority. Live and let live. Sex = binary, gender = spectrum.

I don't think there's anywhere I disagreed with this. I don't tell anyone what to do. I give my opinions.

Sex isn't always binary either. 😉
 
Like you pointed out - you willingly submit to people all the time that mean far less to you emotionally and personally than your husband would. Why is it acceptable to submit to a boss, a teacher, the police officer, the stop-light on the street, the IRS, or the line at the supermarket, but demeaning to submit to your husband?

I just kind of noticed this (in my sleep deprived state - up until 5 am grading intro bio essays about the origin of life 🙄 ).

Emotionally and personally, I mean more to me than my SO (or husband if I were inclined) does. It's acceptable in my views because by doing so I am advancing my own means. Now - I've never really been one to submit to rules or laws that I find to be stupid, and I will loudly and openly disagree with authority figures if I feel that they are in the wrong (high school teachers and former bosses will attest to this), but I realize that to do so too often will compromise my ability to reach my goals. I won't be able to get a paycheck/graduate/stay out of prison if I don't do what those people or situations are telling me to do. And ultimately, the person who is highest priority to me, is me! 😉
 
I completely agree with nyanko on this one. I submit to teachers and bosses because I believe they are more qualified than I am and know better than I do. I am listening to the teacher in the first place because I want to learn from them, same for the boss. When they are clearly in the wrong I stop submitting to them and let my opinion be known and do my own thing (depending on the situation). As for stop lights and lines in the grocery store, I adhere to those social rules because I expect others to do the same for me. It's not 'submitting' at all, it's following a rule because I recognize the need for it and I know others do the same, which makes things safe and efficient. It's common courtesy, and I expect the same in return.

If my future husband knows more than I do about some subject, then yes I will hear him out and probably allow him to make a decision based on his knowledge of the subject. But I also expect the same in return. There will be things I know more about and I will make decisions in those cases because I will be better qualified. It is a partnership - you both bring things to the table and together you are stronger than either of you would be alone. Submitting to your husband all of the time is just assuming he knows better than you do about anything and everything, which IMO is ridiculous. There is no single person that knows everything there is to know.

I spend so much time and money on education, and work hard to understand things better, because I believe it's important in order to make sound decisions throughout my lifetime. I do it so I won't have to depend on anyone else - someone who may or may not know what they are talking about.

Just my opinion! I find yours fascinating and have enjoyed reading about it immensely, so thanks for taking the time to type it all out.
 
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I'll admit I haven't finished reading this thread yet, probably because I'm 16 weeks pregnant and tired after a long day of work at the practice where I am a kennel/vet assistant, but I wanted to weigh in quickly on the original topic.

My husband and I have talked a lot about whether to have kids before or after I go to vet school (assuming I get in eventually), and after much discussion decided that before was probably best for us. Based on talking to my first choice school, I know it's possible--if harder--with small children; as I am a somewhat non-trad student, if I waited until after vet school to start a family, even if I got in my first try, I would be nearly 30 with a huge amount of debt and pressure to start a career before we tried for our first child.

I would rather take some extra time now with my first baby and be able to move more seamlessly from my professional schooling into my career. I've always wanted to have children, but am also interested in owning my own clinic way down the road. I don't think that family and career have to be mutually exclusive, but everyone has to make that choice.

The interesting fact I can add to this is that in the clinic I work at, there are 4 vets--one man (who owns the practice), and three women. Of the female vets, two are currently pregnant; one is already on (early) maternity leave because she is having twins, and the other one is still working, though I'm not sure for how much longer. Not only that, the owner's wife just had another baby. All this baby fever means that we have to juggle schedules a bit, and they have a fill-in vet one day a week currently, but it seems to be working out fine. I, unfortunately, have just given notice because it's hard to be on your feet 10-11 hours a day (I work a split shift two and a half days a week), with so much bending over, when you're getting bigger by the day.

I think the moral of the story is that there is no one right way to do this. I believe you have to set priorities and make the best of what you get, and I believe that wanting a family does not necessarily diminish your ability to be a perfectly good vet. Nor should the desire (or lack thereof) for children elicit scorn from our peers. It does mean you will sacrifice some things--grades, sleep, down time--but it can be done from all I've read and heard.

As my mother has told me, you can have it all, but you can't have it all at once.
 
I think the moral of the story is that there is no one right way to do this. I believe you have to set priorities and make the best of what you get, and I believe that wanting a family does not necessarily diminish your ability to be a perfectly good vet. Nor should the desire (or lack thereof) for children elicit scorn from our peers. It does mean you will sacrifice some things--grades, sleep, down time--but it can be done from all I've read and heard.

As my mother has told me, you can have it all, but you can't have it all at once.

VERY well said. 👍
 
Thanks! I've enjoyed this as well. I have especially enjoyed the fact that it's been a very civil discussion. There were a few tense moments, certainly, but all-in-all very civil. Sometimes discussing these sorts of things get very uncivil very quickly - even with well-educated adults. Thanks!

Oh yes, I've been there! I love reading/participating in debates but usually the whole topic ends up getting buried. I agree, this thread is a lot of reading but it has given me a lot to think about.
 
Well said Whirr, I did (exhaustively) read this whole thread, and was just about to write a post just like it when I got to yours (I am also 16 weeks pregnant), and will be in my late 20's (more likely early 30's), when I finally go to vet school.

I loved this line in particular, it's so true. "As my mother has told me, you can have it all, but you can't have it all at once."
 
Awesome thread, thanks for the interesting discussions! It certainly helped to clarify some points in my own life (and muddy-up a few others! lol).

-Melissa (who is now ~70% sure she will pursue vet school in the future)
 
The easiest and most direct verse to quote is I Timothy 2:12 - "But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence." In the context of this entire book and the one to follow, Paul is writing to Timothy, a young pastor, and instructing him on the operations of the church. This passage applies directly to teaching in the church. There are other verses in that same book (I Timothy) that give instructions for the qualifications for pastors/bishops and deacons, one of which is that they be the "husband of one wife". Honestly, no matter how you slice it, only a man can fill that qualification.

So no, I have no problem at all with my female professors as they are not teaching in the church. If they were, then I would disagree with that.

Disclaimer: I'm likewise a follower of Christ and my other major in undergrad was in religious studies (emphasis on early and medieval Christianity) and I minored in history, so...here goes. 😉

Actually, no, there are many ways to slice it. 🙂 There are numerous references in the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament and the New Testament to women in both power and leadership, such as Deborah the judge, prophetess, and warrior of Israel in Judges, Anna the prophetess in Luke, and Prisca/Priscilla in Paul's letters, who is mentioned by name numerous times before her husband Aquila the tentmaker, and who early Christianity scholars think was a very important leader for the early church. Phoebe, mentioned in Romans, was also described as a diakonos by Paul , which translates as (male) deacon or servant from the Greek. One of the Plinys (forgot which) mentions deaconesses less than 100 years after Jesus's resurrection.

The "misogynist" comments that he makes may have been directed to those particular churches where the church proceedings may have been too noisy and disorderly, like how he addresses speaking in tongues and whatnot later in Corinthians, and not a blanket "shut them wimmins up in church, ya hear?" Afterall, according to my Life and Letters of Paul professor (who went to Harvard Divinity School and who does research on the composition of the demographics of the early church), women were probably the majority in terms of numbers. Because of numerous influential women sponsoring activities like meetings in their homes (like Priscilla did), the church was able to survive. In addition, a good number of scholars actually think that the two Timothy chapters were non-Pauline pseudoepigraphical letters because of several interesting discrepancies in the Timothy writing style and content versus the undisputed known Pauline texts like Romans. So it may have not even been Paul himself writing those, but someone writing later on Paul's behalf. *shrug* It doesn't mean they are less "correct," it's just something to keep in mind that in the very early church, women were actually pretty powerful compared to a millenia later! 😀
 
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Second, I am not a Christian because of the things I do. I am not a Christian because of the laws I keep and the things I avoid. I would still be saved and on my way to heaven if tomorrow I committed adultery, killed two people, drank myself into a stupor and then committed suicide. The Bible clearly states, over and over again, that all that is required is to believe.


Umm...does anyone else find that weird? I'm not religious at all, and I don't believe in God, but if I believed in one, I cannot believe that is the way it would work.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jochebed
Second, I am not a Christian because of the things I do. I am not a Christian because of the laws I keep and the things I avoid. I would still be saved and on my way to heaven if tomorrow I committed adultery, killed two people, drank myself into a stupor and then committed suicide. The Bible clearly states, over and over again, that all that is required is to believe.


Umm...does anyone else find that weird? I'm not religious at all, and I don't believe in God, but if I believed in one, I cannot believe that is the way it would work.

I didn't catch that part.

I haven't been particularly religious in years, but I seem to remember some commandments about not killing, committing adultery, blah blah blah.......were those amended?
 
I haven't been particularly religious in years, but I seem to remember some commandments about not killing, committing adultery, blah blah blah.......were those amended?

Um, yes. Somewhere towards the middle of the bible jesus was born and died for our sins, therefore imploring us all not to put his sacrifice to waste. 😀
 
I think (and this is pulling this from WAY back in high school religion class) that there are some religions that believe that all you need is unwavering faith in God/Jesus to be saved, other that think you will be judged based on your good deeds alone and finally some that believe that you need a life filled with both good deeds and strong faith to get a "ticket to heaven".

Someone can correct me, I'll admit to knowing a minimum about other faiths. But that would explain the comment.

(TractorKid slinks back to the shadows...)
 
Yes, while it's technically true that one who is saved could commit adultery, murder, etc. and still go to heaven, if you've accepted Jesus Christ as savior then you are supposed to have a repentant spirit. And if you have a repentant spirit you would hopefully not commit those sins in the first place, choosing to live a Christ-like life. So if you could commit adultery and murder, were you really saved in the first place?

Something to think about.
 
Now I was under the impression that no one can be saved if they commit suicide because they don't have a chance to repent, and it is "throwing god's greatest gift of life back at him". I guess its different for other sects. I was born and sorta raised Christian Orthodox/Greek Orthodox, and that's the idea orthos have. My religion 101 class was more about history than law.
 
Again, I apologize for the harshness of some of my comments. But again, it's something I feel quite strongly about and I am always ready to defend my faith and beliefs.

I admit I am not educated enough on the subject to have a remotely worthy discussion here, but I admire anyone who is very sure of what they stand for. 😀 Everyone that has participated in this thread has a valid opinion and beliefs. This has been an interesting discussion. I really opened a can of worms didn't I?
 
Wow. I have thoroughly enjoyed this thread! Thanks to all who contributed. I am very impressed that topics as controversial as the OP's to religion have been discussed at length in a manner that did not result in a fist fight.

Kudos everyone. Keep it going. I'm going to make some popcorn now.
 
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So mention of a particular arrangement equals God condoning or even promoting such activities? There are many things that happen in the Bible that are NOT examples of things for us to follow because they go against God's commandments (Abraham and Jacob lying, David committing adultery and murder, Samson committing suicide, Solomon marrying hundreds of wives, etc). Just because there were a few female "leaders" (and you forgot Huldah the prophetess in your list) doesn't mean that that's God's plan for the church.

Sure, but there was generally fairly unsavory consequences for those folks. I don't seen any sort of condemnation in any of the cases that I mentioned about their roles within the early church.


Well I'm not one to turn to Greek really...ever. But is this the same Greek word used in Timothy in the quotes that I mentioned? If so then Phoebe was in violation of those verses because, as a female, it's not possible for her to be the "husband of one wife".

Interesting...why not? That was the original text of the New Testament authors, not the KJV. 😉 As Paul seemed on very good terms with Phoebe and Priscilla (and likely many others), I hear no condemnation of her service in Paul's works of those women.



Again, existence doesn't equal God's approval. Equally true today as 2000 years ago.

In the New Testament in Luke/Acts, God made it pretty clear he wasn't real happy with Ananias and Sapphira. I don't recall Anna, Deborah, Phoebe or Priscilla being rebuked by either Paul, the other apostles, Jesus, or God Himself in the texts. Indeed, I don't think Deborah and Anna would have had too much luck as prophetesses if God didn't approve...kinda hard to be a prophet if the conversation is only going one way! 😉


If you look at the Bible as a whole God Himself appears far more "misogynist" than Paul ever was. Setting up the man as the head in Genesis 3, establishing a line of patriarchs, establishing male kings, only men wrote the books of the Bible, Jesus himself selected 12 male apostles, male leaders of the churches mentioned in the epistles, 144000 male virgins selected in the Tribulation, etc. You're right in that there is mention of a few rare instances of female "leadership" in the Bible but it's hardly the norm, in fact it's quite the deviation from the rest of the leadership of the Bible.

But no where are those examples cited as being wrong. If a woman feels called to pastoral, deaconal, or teaching leadership positions by the Holy Spirit, she should be able to as there is both scriptural and historical precedent. 🙂 I don't recall either Jesus or Paul calling out Anna or Phoebe or Priscilla, etc and saying their great work and witness was wrong or inappropriate. Not something I'd personally do as it's not God's call on my life (though I am a good teacher, if I don't say so myself :laugh:), but to say that women who in leadership are being disobedient to scripture is not correct. JMHO.

Ahhhh...I see. If it says "Timothy" at the top of the page it only applies to THOSE churches and THOSE people at THAT time. Well how about :
-There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. (Romans 8:1) - What a GREAT promise of God!! But nope...that was for the Romans. Not me. Bummer.
-There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. (I Corinthians 10:13) - How wonderful to know that God has everything in my life under control!! Nahhhh...that was for the Corinthians. Not me. Too bad.

How about this:
- All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness (II Timothy 3:16). But that is in one of the letters to Timothy, so maybe that doesn't apply either...

Yes, realistically, you have to remember the context of which Paul was writing his letters, which it is unclear as far as I know that he thought "hmmm...while I'm sitting in prison, I think I'll write me some scripture!" There's a reason his undisputed letters like Corinthians are addressed to...the Corinthians. It's not to say they are not true with a capital T or spiritually useful, it's just the context of them as scripture must be taken into context, as all scripture must.


We still are now. That doesn't mean women should be in leadership.

One of my favs from Paul:

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.--Galatians 3:28

Ahhh I see. I shouldn't trust the Bible. I should trust these "scholars" and let them educate me out of my belief in God and the Bible and trust what they say about what actually belongs in the Bible and what doesn't. Sorry, no thanks. I prefer to have God and the Bible as my final authority, not professors and scholars - mere mortal men.

No, just that they're not inspired of God and that God's a liar because He said in the Bible that ALL scripture is given by inspiration of God.

Not at all. I likewise roll my eyes at some of the New Testament scholars out there. 😛 But the Bible is a very diverse group of writings and a good number of books were almost not considered canonical, this much is historical fact. Not that I fall over myself drooling over non-canonical gospels or letters like some, though I find them interesting, but it is noteworthy to realize that some of the Pauline letters in canon may have been written on behalf of Paul and not written by Paul himself. Indeed, the book of Hebrews may perhaps have been written by Paul, but it is unclear. Looking at sentence structure, eschatology, subject matter, when the letter was written gives us a lot of clues which are quite helpful, just like sorting out the synoptic gospels and what internal consistency is in them is helpful for history and context.

And as it was Paul who wrote that particular part you quoted, was he saying his letters to his associates were God breathed? Or the gospels (which technically were written after Paul likely wrote most of his earlier undisputed letters), unless there's an earlier source gospel earlier than ~60 CE? Or books that almost didn't make the canon like Revelations or that were written well after when Paul wrote around 50-60ish CE? Or the Hebrew Bible? Or all of it? I'm not saying it's not, just something to think about. 🙂

Power is not evidenced just by standing behind a pulpit. Christ himself stated that whoever should be the greatest should make himself/herself the least. I believe the most powerful people in churches today are the people who are spending the most time, money, effort, prayer and love in the service of Christ. Being a "pastor" should NOT be about power.

Absolutely, but as above, the scriptures have clear evidence and precedent for women in leadership, even in times when it was certainly not at all usual in the culture they lived.


That depends on how one defines "educated". I don't have a religious studies degree. I didn't go to an ivy league school or to seminary. But I have the Holy Spirit living inside of me to help me understand, I read my Bible, I pray and I go to church. Really that's all one needs. I will admit that I get a little riled up at the use of degrees and school names and titles to set people apart as being an "authority" on the Bible. It smacks of elitism and reminds me of Roman Catholicism from the Middle Ages - only the priests and rich people spoke or understood Latin and therefore only they could truly understand the Bible and God. That's NOT the way God or the Bible works. The Bible teaches that anyone that is saved has the same access to the same knowledge and wisdom if they will pray and seek God and read their Bible.

As this was more or less addressed to me, I see it like this...God gave us these brains to use. He's a god of knowledge and light, and so if He gifted us with being somewhat intelligent, there is no need to get defensive or riled if someone questions what you belive. If it is the Truth, God doesn't need defending. 😉 Besides, it's almost elitism in reverse by saying you know more than those who have been Christians and have studied the scriptures for decades when you yourself have been on the path for three years. Not that they can't be wrong, mind you, but might I gently suggest a little humility with what the scripture says is or is not true with a capital T. I say this as nicely as possible, but spiritual discipline is a journey, not a destination of how you (in theory with the help of the Holy Spirit) now have it all figured out. They've been pondering these things waaay before you or I! 😀

What you articulated is probably unintentionally offensive to many incredibly intelligent apologists and scholars who work tirelessly on Biblical and theological scholarship, who are in their own way modern day Pauls. No wonder many non-Christians see us being sheltered and being scared of intellectualism and education. 🙁 Yes, Jesus came so all could be saved and all can be by following what it outlines in the Bible, but he also said the first of the TWO MOST IMPORTANT COMMANDMENTS was to love God with all your heart, soul, MIND, and strength (Mark 12:30, Luke 10:27). He does not want us to be scared little sheep bleating what they say in Sunday school because we should, but people who know their faith for something more than "the Bible in this translation of choice with a literal (albeit 21st century) reading with no context says so, so it must be true." After all, if that's really how it works, that's a pretty sad state of affairs. Christians have long been patrons of great creative works of art, literature, architecture, scholarship, and science and it's unfortunate that there has been trend against such things as something to be feared within evangelical Christianity.

Anyways, I'm more or less rambling now, but if I may suggest a book, probably one of my favorite Christian non-fiction books of the year has been UnChristian by David Kinnamen and Gabe Lyons. You can read a free excerpt here:

http://www.unchristian.com/
 
This is an interesting thread and why it has sucked me in I will blame on my biological clock, 🙄. My thoughts are conflicted. I can understand and relate to those that have posted about not ever wanting to have children. My undergrad roommate was of this view/belief/decision. I have never had a problem with that choice or the thought that she'd change her mind. She's not the type. She knows what she wants.

As for me I can honestly say I’m on the fence. Kids sound GREAT in theory but hey I’m like the rest of you and I see the full picture of kids and the life altering commitment they require. I am also from the Midwest and have numerous times been told by doctors that I need to get “busy” and have a kid. I was even told this before I was even in any type of relationship buy a doctor about 7 years ago. It was a random moment I will admit and I left in shock and with the assumption he was an idiot. I guess that and other moments plus other people’s advice/perspectives have made me a huge fan of planning. Granted things happen and we role with those changes.

For myself I found a great GYN Nurse practitioner who not only changed her career mid life also had kids along the way. We don’t have the same views on everything but she is definitely a breath of fresh air in a state that is reproductively obsessed. When my BC was giving me issues she was very helpful in helping me look at other options. So to those who have ran into road blocks with MD’s keep looking and I hope you find someone who will listen/help more.

On to the topic at hand: I am also of the delusion that I think you can have it all. Not necessarily literally but figuratively. I think we as women can have the great vet med career and kids. If that’s what we want. However, it will take planning and finding the right nitch to make it all function and help from those touring vets (how cool is that!).

For me the clinic that I work at is on pins and needles hoping I have a kid. I find this humorous and odd but also wonderful. It’s nice to know that I have that option already, but I have invested five years into the clinic. Will my priorities shift and would I give up vet med? Personally I believe my priorities will shift but I can’t imagine giving this up. I do respect and worry about the complications of pregnancy because I can’t control how my body will respond. Do I worry about my age and genetics? A little. However, I have had friends have complicated births that were not in the typical “risk category”. You get pregnant you are rolling the dice as to what you’ll end up with so you need to be prepared for anything. I think that and the time it takes to go through a pregnancy and recover is why adoption is a strong pull for me.


Do I think it will be heartbreaking to leave my child at day care? Yes, but I also think of all the wonderful things as a Mom I’ll get to do as the local vet. Hey, your friends want all their 4-H steers vet’d have them stop by the clinic. I just think as Vet’s we’ll be pretty amazing Mom’s. For those that don’t want to be Mom’s well, I will only speak of my friend who has chosen this route. She’s a very amazing Aunt to her sister’s kids and I know she will be amazing Aunt to mine as well, if I ever have some. I guess my point is I think we all have a lot to give regardless of the path we pick. We’re a very dynamic group after all.
 
I don't know if this point has been made, but is it ever really a good time to have a child? IMHO, there will always be something that could be improved in life (money for example) or something that a person wants to accomplish before they are responsible for the huge time commitment that is a kid. If you want to start a family in vet school, then I think go for it because it is not like it gets more convenient as you get older. Nothing is perfect, and you don't know what life will bring you down the road.

Ditto. I agree.

There are so many good posts on this thread that I can't quote them all, and it's late, so i'll just put in my 2 cents here-
Someone asked essentially why/how you could want to go to Vet School so badly and be a parent at the same time. For me, having children is a big part of why i want a career in vet med to badly.
My mom gave birth to my brother and i and raised us when she was first starting her own business. I remember hearing that my mom was back at work less than a week after giving birth to me, and how she was insistent on me getting strictly breast milk so she had to pump and bottle it every morning before leaving. She was deffinitely not the stay-at-home-involved-mommy type, and, while i'll admit she missed more soccer games and recitals than i'd like, she showed me what it was to really work hard,i mean TRULY work hard. She was our sole provider and caregiver, and it is because of the way she raised me, showing me that you CAN have a sucessful career and be a loving mother to your children, it is because of her that i want to inspire the same feelings in my own childen, and i aspire to be in vet med. I WANT to go through all the hard times, i want to go through the long hours studying, the morning sickness, the stress-induced -spats with my soon-to-be-spouse, I welcome it, if for no other reason than i can show my own children that it can be done. Of course, having the child(ren) i have wanted for as long as i can remember is a plus too, i guess. 😀
I have wanted to be a mother long before i knew i wanted to be a vet. But, I don't feel i have to push aside one for the other. To me, they go hand in hand. 🙂
 
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Awww, crud...I just spent a significant chunk of time typing out a reply and SDN logged me out when I hit submit. 😡 Maybe that's God's way of saying stop being so divisive and get out there and serve those who need it instead of discussing theological trivialities over the internet. 🙄 Anyways, long story short, if a woman feels led by the Holy Spirit to have a teaching or leadership role, that IMHO is pretty low on the totem pole compared to feeding and tending His sheep and lambs and loving our neighbor as ourselves. Now, where's that guitar? Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya... :laugh: