Wedding bands during interview

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Doc187

Doc187

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Should I wear mine during the interview or keep it off to be safe? The reason I'm asking is that I've heard about how interviewers may ask about your family and personal life to gauge whether or not it would interfere with your career aspirations. On the other hand, I suppose being married could also show maturity and stability.

What are your thoughts on this?
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There is nothing wrong with being married. Or not being married. Or wearing your ring. Or not wearing your ring. Do whatever makes you most comfortable.

Interviewers are actually specifically prohibited from asking you about marital status, childbearing plans, etc. On the other hand, if you bring it up, it's fair game for discussion. I can't think of any good reason why one would feel the need to bring it up in a med school interview. And I have interviewed a LOT of applicants.

I think with all the pressures of admissions and interviewing, matching, etc, at every stage of medical training, because we all have so much anxiety and so much riding on the process, we tend to waaaaay over-think this kind of stuff. Again, with regard to this specific question, just do what makes you most comfortable. When you're comfortable, you have the best chance of being yourself and making your best impression.
 
Keep it on. It suggests you are a mature and responsible adult.
 
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Interviewers are also interested in your family's support of your decision and the availability of a social support network during your med school year. A spouse is certainly an important social support.

After awhile, you'll have a line on your finger when you take the ring off. That raises questions -- are you a player on the interview trail? 😱 newly separated? 🙁 Either of those situations could be considered worse than wearing a ring.

Furthermore, I can imagine a safer place for your ring than on your finger. It would be tragic to lose your ring during interview day.
 
hippiedoc13 said:
Interviewers are actually specifically prohibited from asking you about marital status, childbearing plans, etc. On the other hand, if you bring it up, it's fair game for discussion. I can't think of any good reason why one would feel the need to bring it up in a med school interview. And I have interviewed a LOT of applicants.
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Theoretically yes this is true. But between my med school and residency I got asked about it on at least half of my interviews.
 
ColeOnTheRoll said:
Wow... call me a romantic, but I wouldn't take off my wedding band for an interview. They can deal with it.
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Not to mention that any school that would base their decision to accept me or not because of my marital status probably isn't a school I want to attend anyway. It's not like I'm going to pretend I don't have a husband and kid for 4 years.
 
If anyone expected me to take off my wedding band for an interview, I would tell them to go pound sand.
 
Doc187 said:
Should I wear mine during the interview or keep it off to be safe? The reason I'm asking is that I've heard about how interviewers may ask about your family and personal life to gauge whether or not it would interfere with your career aspirations. On the other hand, I suppose being married could also show maturity and stability.

What are your thoughts on this?
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That you have truly run out of important things to worry about.
 
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I never even considered pretending I wasn't married either on my application or during interviews. Heck, I put being married as one of my "activities." It sure as hell takes more time and effort than any other EC I have. Every school I interviewed at seemed to see my huband as an important positive source of support for me.

It's also true that I've been married long enough for my finger to look slightly deformed without my wedding set.
 
morning said:
If they refuse to admit you solely because you're married, doesn't that become the "for worse" thing you swore to endure when you got married? 🙂

Whenever anyone talks about taking off their wedding ring I think about this dude: http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/iraq/2004-12-12-marine-finger_x.htm
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I'm sorry, but that's just silly. I had to have my e-ring cut off once; it was easily repaired and you can't tell anything happened to it. You can replace a wedding band, not a finger.
 
Geekchick921 said:
Not to mention that any school that would base their decision to accept me or not because of my marital status probably isn't a school I want to attend anyway. It's not like I'm going to pretend I don't have a husband and kid for 4 years.
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So I agree with the principle that I wouldn't take my ring off for an interview.

BUT I always have a huge problem with this kind of statement. Having one jacka** interviewer who gets huffy about something (eg marriage, religious background, whether you say to-may-to or to-mah-to, etc) is not the same as having some institutional policy against it.

What I mean is the interviewer has their own views; those are not a blanket set of views held by the school. That interviewer's views should not make you avoid the school entirely.
 
The interviewer is also not the only one that makes the call on my admission. If I get rejected because of my marital status, they must not be the only one with a problem with it, am I right?

Regardless, the fact that I am married and have a daughter is a huge part of who I am. The only reason I wouldn't wear my set is that my contact dermatitis is acting up, not because I'm worried some pompous old blowhard thinks I should stay home with my kids or whatever the hell else.
 
Geekchick921 said:
The interviewer is also not the only one that makes the call on my admission. If I get rejected because of my marital status, they must not be the only one with a problem with it, am I right?

Regardless, the fact that I am married and have a daughter is a huge part of who I am. The only reason I wouldn't wear my set is that my contact dermatitis is acting up, not because I'm worried some pompous old blowhard thinks I should stay home with my kids or whatever the hell else.
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What made me lol in this post is that you're a wife and mother who says pompous old blowhard.

I like you.
 
I can't imagine being married being any kind detriment to admission. I mean, it seems like half my med school class is married already and a bunch of people are getting married this summer/fall.

Also, I give med school tours on interview days and since I'm married, they usually try to pair me with married candidates so I can answer their questions. There's usually at least one applicant per interview day that's married.
 
What about the change of names? I'm pretty sure the application asks if you have documents under another name. Half my college transcripts are in a distinctly different name, so that would've blown my cover. Also, I think I was asked somewhere on the application if I was a Miss, Ms., Mrs., etc. That could have been a secondary - I don't remember now - but I put Mrs.

Either way, I never even considered taking off my ring. It's a part of who I am, just as my husband is a part of me. Not to mention that the sad little white indentation on my finger would have certainly raised more questions than a ring.

Why in the world would admissions people be opposed to marriage? It doesn't make sense. If anything, it makes you less likely to be dating and spouse-hunting during medical school, which should be a plus.

Be confident in who you are! It will show, and will be an asset on the interview trail. 🙂
 
I can't believe this is even being discussed.
 
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I stopped wearing my wedding ring after I saw a guy come in with his ring finger degloved from it catching on something. :scared: I don't know what the phobia is called but I can't stand wearing it now cause I'm always doing something hazardous where it could catch and rip my skin off my hand.


That being said I will be wearing my ring for interviews because my wife's medical history is a major reason why I'm going into medicine. I WANT them to ask questions about it.
 
Are you really worried about this? You're married. Don't hide your relationship in the closet.

Personally, as a husband, I would be pissed if my wife purposely left her ring at home for some bs reason like this.
 
i've been a long time lurker of these boards, but i finally decided to make an account because i kinda have a question related to this...

i'm married, but i'm part of a same-sex couple. in this case, should i leave the ring off, or just keep the ring on but hide my sexuality and make up some name if asked about it?

i know interviewers aren't supposed to ask ,but i plan on putting down one of my reasons for wanting to go to some schools is because i will be close to my spouse, who is also in school right now...but i hate having to pretend. maybe i have no choice but to either not wear the ring or lie about who i'm married to? i'm also worried that if i make up a name, they can look it up if they are curious and catch me in a lie.
 
SamT said:
i've been a long time lurker of these boards, but i finally decided to make an account because i kinda have a question related to this...

i'm married, but i'm part of a same-sex couple. in this case, should i leave the ring off, or just keep the ring on but hide my sexuality and make up some name if asked about it?

i know interviewers aren't supposed to ask ,but i plan on putting down one of my reasons for wanting to go to some schools is because i will be close to my spouse, who is also in school right now...but i hate having to pretend. maybe i have no choice but to either not wear the ring or lie about who i'm married to? i'm also worried that if i make up a name, they can look it up if they are curious and catch me in a lie.
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2ugkjg2.jpg


This is why we can't have nice things...























































obvioustroll.jpg
 
always take it off...dishonesty is a quality med schools look for
 
Marriage is an important part of getting ahead. It lets people know you're not a loser. A married guy seems more stable. People see the ring, they think, "At least somebody can stand the son of a witch." Ladies see the ring, they know immediately that you must have some cash, and your hand must work.

I had to edit it a little to make it more board friendly.
 
DO NOT bring a wedding band to your interview unless the wedding band is unique or spectacular in nature thus serving as a talking point.

One of the worst things a pre-med can do is bring a super cheesy, stuck-in-the-80s wedding band to their interview. How can anyone expect to make a positive impression on adcom members while barraging their ears with synthesized lyrics or deafening electronica courtesy of the jheri curl clad keyboard player. And God forbid that said wedding band has a drum machine 👎
 
^^
:laugh:

it took me a second to figure out what the hell you were talking about.
 
bold text said:
DO NOT bring a wedding band to your interview unless the wedding band is unique or spectacular in nature thus serving as a talking point.

One of the worst things a pre-med can do is bring a super cheesy, stuck-in-the-80s wedding band to their interview. How can anyone expect to make a positive impression on adcom members while barraging their ears with synthesized lyrics or deafening electronica courtesy of the jheri curl clad keyboard player. And God forbid that said wedding band has a drum machine 👎
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Now I need to watch The Wedding Singer...
 
I think the issue of marriage/children is much more pertinent during a residency interview where they will be concerned about time off, family crises, etc. I've actually heard that in some competitive specialties (i.e. radiology, etc.) they suggest you not wear your wedding band. Unfortunately I think this is doubly true for women, who tend to take more time off following the birth of a child. This is just what I've heard...on the other hand I don't think I'd ever alter who I was to try to make myself more marketable. Best of luck to you though 🙂
 
SamT said:
i've been a long time lurker of these boards, but i finally decided to make an account because i kinda have a question related to this...

i'm married, but i'm part of a same-sex couple. in this case, should i leave the ring off, or just keep the ring on but hide my sexuality and make up some name if asked about it?

i know interviewers aren't supposed to ask ,but i plan on putting down one of my reasons for wanting to go to some schools is because i will be close to my spouse, who is also in school right now...but i hate having to pretend. maybe i have no choice but to either not wear the ring or lie about who i'm married to? i'm also worried that if i make up a name, they can look it up if they are curious and catch me in a lie.
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I can't really comment since I don't have any credentials to back up my answer, but in my opinion I think in your case you should just leave the ring off. Not trying to push you back into the closet, but the risks here may outweigh the advantages.
 
Doc187 said:
I can't really comment since I don't have any credentials to back up my answer, but in my opinion I think in your case you should just leave the ring off. Not trying to push you back into the closet, but the risks here may outweigh the advantages.
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I don't see how wearing a ring will necessarily out this person. If the subject of being in a committed relationship comes up in conversation, you can still describe your partner/spouse using gender-neutral pronouns anyway. 🙂
 
Dianyla said:
I don't see how wearing a ring will necessarily out this person. If the subject of being in a committed relationship comes up in conversation, you can still describe your partner/spouse using gender-neutral pronouns anyway. 🙂
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That would sound really awkward in conversation.

"Blah blah blah my spouse works in the IT field."
"Oh, where does she work?"
"Ah, my spouse works at Google where my spouse does blah blah blah...."

Either be completely open or don't mention it at all.
 
bold text said:
DO NOT bring a wedding band to your interview unless the wedding band is unique or spectacular in nature thus serving as a talking point.

One of the worst things a pre-med can do is bring a super cheesy, stuck-in-the-80s wedding band to their interview. How can anyone expect to make a positive impression on adcom members while barraging their ears with synthesized lyrics or deafening electronica courtesy of the jheri curl clad keyboard player. And God forbid that said wedding band has a drum machine 👎
Click to expand...

hahahaha. that took me a second to get, but now this hilarious image is stuck in my head
 
TheProwler said:
That would sound really awkward in conversation.
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That depends on what you're used to. I know a number of people IRL who prefer gender neutral pronouns and so I guess it doesn't really feel awkward to me. 🙂
 
I dunno, SamT mentioned that his (her?) spouse would be going to school in the area too, so I was just thinking if the spousal reason is brought up as one of the reasons of why the interviewee wants to go to X school, it might be fair game for the interviewer to ask what school the spouse goes to, and then it'd be easy to check and catch the lie, especially if you are applying to the same school.

Then again, I'm kinda paranoid.
 
If I were married, I would definitely wear just my wedding band because most bands are simple and understated. I am engaged now and was engaged last year when I had my interviews. I absolutely left my engagement ring off because it's big and flashy and I didn't want people to judge me for that fact. I sincerely want to work for the underserved and I was afraid the interviewers wouldn't believe me if they saw my ring. I wanted to stand out for what I said in the interview, not for what I was wearing or for a piece of jewelry. IMO, bottom line: wear your band if it's understated. Spouses are an important part of our lives and I have many classmates who are married. Good luck! :luck:
 
fahimaz7 said:
Are you really worried about this? You're married. Don't hide your relationship in the closet.

Personally, as a husband, I would be pissed if my wife purposely left her ring at home for some bs reason like this.
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Damn right.
 
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