Wedding during Med School

[seasoned winner]

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I was just wondering if anyone else was planning on getting married DURING med school? I just wanted to know if I was crazy to try to plan a wedding during med school? I was thinking the summer after either our 1st or 2nd year. Anyone else in the same boat? 😍

 

[Wrigleyville]

I got married after 1st year. That is probably the ideal time -- after 2nd year you'll have to study for boards, etc.

 

[cubbbie]

I had a friend who got married a week after the boards. Needless to say, he didn't do much of the planning himself and he was quite tired after it was all over. Probably after 1st year would be best.

 

[smcin001]

I plan to get married the summer before, but no specific date yet.

 

[ICCONFETTI]

I think the ideal is probably after first year (not second, because usually, there is a very small break between boards and third year rotations). That would be my ideal.

Maybe.... also during 4th year, but that's waiting another 2 years.

 

[lord_jeebus]

Lots of people get married in med school. Summer between 1st and 2nd years is definitely the ideal time, and M4 would be pretty workable, but if it absolutely had to be at another time I could see someone pulling it off during M1 or M2.

 

[Cirrus83]

I have no tips here but I'd just like to say:
"Awwwwww" lol

 

[brbsb]

I'm currently trying to decide with my boyfriend if we should get married before med school or between years one and two...so best of luck in your decision!

 

[Psyche Estrelle]

Oh wow, for some reason I always thought people waited until after med school to start thinking about getting married. I myself would love to get married (and yes I'm in a situation to, lol), but was sure I'd be waiting 4-6 years :b

 

[pyrois]

After helping my sister with her stuff, I'd say after first or fourth year.

Advantages of doing it after first year is that you have the most free time to do it (without killing yourself).

Advantages of doing it after fourth year is that both people involved will better know what it means to be married to somebody pursuing a profession in medicine.

 

[ICCONFETTI]

Oh wow, for some reason I always thought people waited until after med school to start thinking about getting married. I myself would love to get married (and yes I'm in a situation to, lol), but was sure I'd be waiting 4-6 years :b

it's silly to put the rest of your life on hold just because of medical school. maybe putting kids off though...

 

[Doctor Bagel]

It seems like tons of people in the class of 2009 at my school got married last summer. I'm in a part of the country where people marry young, though. If you want to get married, then I'd suggest doing it instead of waiting until you're done with school.

 

[seasoned winner]

thanks for all your suggestions! we were hoping to find the pros/cons for getting married after the 1st and 2nd years. it's an exciting time, but we also didn't want to make med school more stressful than it will already be. good luck to everyone else too!

 

[Psyche Estrelle]

it's silly to put the rest of your life on hold just because of medical school. maybe putting kids off though...

Yea, that honestly makes a lot of sense :>

OP: thanks for starting this thread, it has been very helpful! 👍

 

[Catalystik]

After first year is a good time to get married, especially if there is someone back home to do a lot of the organizing for you. I got married at the beginning of Year 4 when we were both able to arrange time off together and the rest of the year was electives. Thus we had nine months of "normal life" together before our residencies began.

The Women's Topics Forum has a thread on this subject also, at: http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=341310

 

[searun]

during med school, so a wife, no way. I would like to date attractive women, but no plans for marriage during the next four years. I want to keep it simple.

 

[npuent]

Seems like I was just asking this question last week. Me and my fiancee are planning on getting married the summer after 1st year.

 

[Captain Fantastic]

I got married after 1st year. That is probably the ideal time -- after 2nd year you'll have to study for boards, etc.

+1

Had kiddo numero uno during wife's 4th year. Timing worked out perfectly.

 

[braluk]

I was talking about this with my girlfriend too, and what I had planned on doing was getting engaged between my 2nd and 3rd year and then getting married before residency starts and move in together. Hopefully we'll last through the rocky road that lies ahead for both of us when I start med school

 

[Ginkneephur]

My boyfriend of almost 3 years and I broke up yesterday so yeah, I won't be getting married during med school. 🙁

 

[Cirrus83]

My boyfriend of almost 3 years and I broke up yesterday so yeah, I won't be getting married during med school. 🙁

Sorry to hear about that. But I guess the single guys going to Miami are going to be happier about it now

 

[searun]

My boyfriend of almost 3 years and I broke up yesterday so yeah, I won't be getting married during med school. 🙁

And you might like who is waiting on the other side of that door.

 

[Cirrus83]

during med school, so a wife, no way. I would like to date attractive women, but no plans for marriage during the next four years. I want to keep it simple.

You just want to go around telling random babes that you're a doctor don't you?

 

[Ginkneephur]

Sorry to hear about that. But I guess the single guys going to Miami are going to be happier about it now

Yay! Bring on the single male med students! Or, you know, just single males in general. (No crazies please) 😛

 

[deleted109597]

You can get married at any time during med school. There are breaks in 1st, 2nd, and 3rd year, and 4th year you've got months of time.
Seriously, it isn't that tough. You just might want someone to help you plan if you want to do it in a city you aren't going to school in.

 

[searun]

You just want to go around telling random babes that you're a doctor don't you?

At least I did not get into this racket for the money. Just for the women. Yeah, I got my priorities straight.

 

[seasoned winner]

My gf & I have been going out for 8 years, so between getting married the summer after 1st year or 4th year, I think she'd prefer the first choice. I hope I can help her plan during my M1 year. Guess I won't know till I start! 😀

 

[southpawcannon]

My boyfriend of almost 3 years and I broke up yesterday so yeah, I won't be getting married during med school. 🙁

It will be for the better. You are hiking up Mount Everest for the next four years+. You will have an easier ascension with the help of your true support team and elimination of the weakest link.

 

[A Tree]

Last week I was at the wedding of two medical students (1 second year, 1 third). It was a January wedding so the 2 yr was on break, and I assume the 3 yr took a break from rotations for one cycle (??) ... I was quite surprised at the timing when I got the invite, but it was a lovely wedding and totally doable. Incidentally, the wedding took place in the city of residence of the third year (they will be long distance for a bit).

I suppose you should also consider the extent to which you and your partner's families will be either helpful in the planning or the cause of turning you into a total stress monster. For me it would DEFINITELY have to happen during a free summer.

 

[Ginkneephur]

It will be for the better. You are hiking up Mount Everest for the next four years+. You will have an easier ascension with the help of your true support team and elimination of the weakest link.

Elimination of the weakest link. 👍 Yeah, he wasn't very supportive...thought I was gonna leave him for a McSteamy.

 

[braluk]

Actually...question for the fellas. How are you guys going to put up $$ for a ring? are you going to include it in the loans that you request? Or do you have enough saved for it or will family put up the money for it? I believe it is customary for the bride's family to pay for the wedding (or am i wrong?), how are the ladies going to deal with the expenses?

 

[DrGoofy]

how much does a decent ring cost anyways?

 

[Sarikate]

I just got engaged less than a month ago 😍 My fiance is moving with me to Arizona this summer for my upcoming first year, and we're planning a June 2008 wedding. Even though my mother is being painfully crazy about it already, she sort of took on the responsibility of planning the whole thing (in their hometown), so we don't have to worry about it as much!

As far as the ring...don't get what someone else tells you to get just because it's the "right" thing to do. I didn't even want a big diamond because I think the diamond trade is so disastrous. So my fiance got me a beautiful sapphire ring that is awesome. You don't have to break the bank for a girl's ring. I'm thinking maybe my fiance paid about the same amount that I spent on my medical school application process. Which seems like a lot, but for something you really truly want, is totally worth it!

 

[TMP-SMX]

how much does a decent ring cost anyways?

Way too much...

 

[Psyche Estrelle]

I believe it is customary for the bride's family to pay for the wedding (or am i wrong?), how are the ladies going to deal with the expenses?

That's the traditional way to go about things. I know for a fact my parents would not pay for mine, or at least definitely not the entire thing.

 

[Mr. McDuck]

The groom's parents help out sometimes. For my sister's wedding, her husband's parents chipped in a good amount of money just to help, which was nice for my parents, because the wedding was a lot of money.

 

[Summer Sweet]

Why not get a Vegas-style wedding before starting the first year, and planning the big, elaborate ceremony after the fourth?

For the females who are planning on getting married...do you have a timeline as to when you want kids? I've been thinking about the balance between a demanding career and having a family lately, and I just wanted to hear some other perspectives.

 

[Karina 07]

how much does a decent ring cost anyways?

Ooh, you so don't want to hear this!

"Traditionally" (take with a heavy dose of salt -- it's what the diamond ring companies WANT you to think), two months' salary.

So, theoretically it would be CHEAPER (in the long run) to get married in med school/residency than later .

Not sure how this works if you're not employed 🙄 .

 

[DropkickMurphy]

how much does a decent ring cost anyways?

Just be glad you're not dating Noshie.

 

[SoCuteMD]

Actually...question for the fellas. How are you guys going to put up $$ for a ring? are you going to include it in the loans that you request? Or do you have enough saved for it or will family put up the money for it? I believe it is customary for the bride's family to pay for the wedding (or am i wrong?), how are the ladies going to deal with the expenses?

Although the brides family paying is "tradition" that has sort of gone out the window with women going to college and supporting themselves before getting married. Now that parents are kicking in towards a college education they are less inclined/less able to pay for a wedding. In some cultures this may still be traditional but I wouldn't assume it is.

how much does a decent ring cost anyways?

My guy friends have bought nice ones for $2000. They weren't huge or anything, but they had nice cut, clarity, and color. One of my classmates just got engaged and got a HUGE rock, but the clarity and color are just OFF and I think it looks kind of tacky.

 

[Depakote]

Actually...question for the fellas. How are you guys going to put up $$ for a ring? are you going to include it in the loans that you request? Or do you have enough saved for it or will family put up the money for it? I believe it is customary for the bride's family to pay for the wedding (or am i wrong?), how are the ladies going to deal with the expenses?

Do rings still come in Cracker Jack boxes?

 

[epigastric]

Although the brides family paying is "tradition" that has sort of gone out the window with women going to college and supporting themselves before getting married. Now that parents are kicking in towards a college education they are less inclined/less able to pay for a wedding. In some cultures this may still be traditional but I wouldn't assume it is.



My guy friends have bought nice ones for $2000. They weren't huge or anything, but they had nice cut, clarity, and color. One of my classmates just got engaged and got a HUGE rock, but the clarity and color are just OFF and I think it looks kind of tacky.

For anyone who's thinking of getting married during medical school, I've just made it through the wedding season of two family members and two friends. The two that narrowed the guest list to <20 and did the destination wedding were the happiest, spent the least money, and came out the least frazzled. (Plus, as a guest, I can tell you I was much happier to cough up Cabo airfare rather than the same price to Columbus). The other two did the full extravaganza -- only the one with the OCD mother appeared sane afterwards. If you can talk your SO into a tiny wedding by luring them to a pretty place (and plenty in Mexico/Caribbean are cheap), it seems like the way to go.

As for engagement rings, if you can also talk the girl out of a name-brand store, the savings at a legit online seller like Bluenile.com can add up to nearly $2-4k savings on the exact same ring...minus the Tiffany blue box.

 

[brbsb]

how much does a decent ring cost anyways?

It depends a lot on what you consider decent. My boyfriend's lucky because my mom already has a nice, expensive family diamond that he can used on my ring. So, as far as the setting and everything go, it'll probably only be like $500 (bluenile.com is a good place to go to get an idea of how much they cost). We also decided that getting the nicest, most expensive ring isn't important...if we want expensive rings later on, we'll "upgrade," I suppose.

 

[runindownadream]

i'm thinking that the summer after first year will be the best time. 🙂

 

[Karina 07]

Incidentally. My aunt's a jeweller, and I don't know about diamond rings, but normal jewelry is hiked up over 10 times its actual worth, no matter what. Sometimes more like 20 times. Diamond rings, even more so. Shop around and don't pay for the brand name.

 

[bacteriophage]

Do your research and go to the diamond district (NY). You can buy very nice diamonds (uncertified) and then get them certified for 50 dollars by a jeweler. You'll save more than the cost of a plane ticket/expenses if you know what you are doing.

We thought about that.

On the marriage note, I'm glad to see people made it work. I can't spend any money on a wedding, so I'm worried (I'm a female btw). Also, not getting a diamond yet (no money) but I don't care. Talk it out with you SO.

 

[njcaldwell]

I am actually proposing to my GF of 3 years on wed. The ring cost me approx $3000. I got everything at wholesale, its worth 8000.......

But she dont care about the size, I just got what I thought she would love.

Im excited about going through the challenges at medical school with my best friend. No way I would want to do that whole long distance engagment thing, that would kill me

 

[epigastric]

Do your research and go to the diamond district (NY). You can buy very nice diamonds (uncertified) and then get them certified for 50 dollars by a jeweler. You'll save more than the cost of a plane ticket/expenses if you know what you are doing.

We thought about that.

On the marriage note, I'm glad to see people made it work. I can't spend any money on a wedding, so I'm worried (I'm a female btw). Also, not getting a diamond yet (no money) but I don't care. Talk it out with you SO.

Eh, I wouldn't be so keen on recommending the diamond district, unless you know for a fact that your particular seller is bona fide, and/or you bring someone with a loupe who can tell you the difference between I/SI/VSI/etc. There are some legit sellers, but plenty sketchy ones as well who might "subjectively" grade their diamonds a little higher than the norm.

 

[braluk]

I am actually proposing to my GF of 3 years on wed. The ring cost me approx $3000. I got everything at wholesale, its worth 8000.......

But she dont care about the size, I just got what I thought she would love.

Im excited about going through the challenges at medical school with my best friend. No way I would want to do that whole long distance engagment thing, that would kill me

Congrats!!

 

[goosie]

Have most of these posts dealt with one person being in med school while the SO is doing something else? I ask because my SO and I will be enrolling in 2008 (assuming we get in of course) and I would love to get married before then. If that doesn't work out, do you think we'd be crazy to try and plan a wedding while we're both in med school? I'm sure both of our moms would love to help out, but the idea of his mom planning my wedding is beyond frightening......