Wedding during Med School

[noshie]

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Just be glad you're not dating Noshie.

hehehe. It is true, I love big diamonds, but they do not have to be expensive. I have a great great tip for you guys. Buy on EBAY from an ebay store. It may sound scary to you but if you know your diamonds, which you should anyways no matter where you buy it. If you look around at enough diamonds and know exactly what you want you can get something incredible on Ebay. My fiance bought my 2.5 carat round cut SI-2 G color ring, with 1/2 carats on the band on Ebay for like $5000 and it was appraised twice at $15000+. So just know your stuff and look everywhere.

 

[freetheyaz]

searun: I'd love to get a dog during med school..I think it is doable, as long as he is trained.

 

[Doc Martins]

I am actually proposing to my GF of 3 years on wed. The ring cost me approx $3000. I got everything at wholesale, its worth 8000.......

But she dont care about the size, I just got what I thought she would love.

Im excited about going through the challenges at medical school with my best friend. No way I would want to do that whole long distance engagment thing, that would kill me

congrats! That's great news.

On another note, I'm planning my wedding now for June, before I start med school. Although it hasn't been too much work for me so far, I can't imagine having to deal with school and planning a wedding at the same time. Wedding planners are pretty popular, and I would probably consider one if I was planning a wedding during med school.

 

[ICCONFETTI]

Have most of these posts dealt with one person being in med school while the SO is doing something else? I ask because my SO and I will be enrolling in 2008 (assuming we get in of course) and I would love to get married before then. If that doesn't work out, do you think we'd be crazy to try and plan a wedding while we're both in med school? I'm sure both of our moms would love to help out, but the idea of his mom planning my wedding is beyond frightening......

My BF and I are also going to be both in med school (him being MS2 in an MD/PhD program), and me entering this fall (2007). I definitely don't think it's crazy to plan a wedding while both in med school. (although he hasn't proposed, i'd hope to be married sometime in Med school). Parents can help, and I think as it was nicely put in a previous post, "Im excited about going through the challenges at medical school with my best friend. "

anyways, go for it! 🙂
and congrats to njcaldwell

 

[Soccer885]

I am 21 and am getting married to my boyfriend of 8 years this June. I really wanted to get married the summer before med school, however I ended up getting accepted to a medical school that starts in June as well. So after a couple of weeks in school, I will be getting married. Not exactly ideal, but oh well. Our honeymoon will have to wait until I get a break (most likely in August before the Fall semester begins).

 

[bacteriophage]

Eh, I wouldn't be so keen on recommending the diamond district, unless you know for a fact that your particular seller is bona fide, and/or you bring someone with a loupe who can tell you the difference between I/SI/VSI/etc. There are some legit sellers, but plenty sketchy ones as well who might "subjectively" grade their diamonds a little higher than the norm.

Agreed, there are some sketchy characters. You need to be educated and able to tell the difference. Luckily I know someone who is. 🙂 That or maybe it's just that I want to go to NY haha.

 

[mave]

Although the brides family paying is "tradition" that has sort of gone out the window with women going to college and supporting themselves before getting married.

Traditionally (and this tends to hold pretty true today), the bride's family pays for the ceremony and the reception. Also, the bride's dress, floral arrangements, and the groom's ring. The groom's family is generally responsible for the rehearsal dinner and dressing the groomsmen. 🙂

 

[ICCONFETTI]

how come groom's don't get engagement rings?

 

[bobbybee22]

I got married after 1st year. That is probably the ideal time -- after 2nd year you'll have to study for boards, etc.

it was the biggest mistake of that poor schmuck's life...

 

[searun]

before or during med school? Is it higher than 50 percent. How many couples will still be married in 10 years? Love is great but what are the odds of success, seriously?

 

[SoCuteMD]

Traditionally (and this tends to hold pretty true today), the bride's family pays for the ceremony and the reception. Also, the bride's dress, floral arrangements, and the groom's ring. The groom's family is generally responsible for the rehearsal dinner and dressing the groomsmen. 🙂

Actually that has really NOT been the case amongst my friends. I can think of one couple whose parents paid for the whole thing (because it was small and sort of a shotgun type thing). A few couples' parents split the costs (whether straight down the middle or with respect to financial ability I don't know). A few couples paid for their own wedding. Another friend had a destination wedding - she and her fiance paid for themselves and the costs associated with the ceremony. All their guests paid for themselves.

I don't know how many friends you have who have been married, but very few of my married friends had the "traditional" financial arrangement.

 

[epigastric]

Actually that has really NOT been the case amongst my friends. I can think of one couple whose parents paid for the whole thing (because it was small and sort of a shotgun type thing). A few couples' parents split the costs (whether straight down the middle or with respect to financial ability I don't know). A few couples paid for their own wedding. Another friend had a destination wedding - she and her fiance paid for themselves and the costs associated with the ceremony. All their guests paid for themselves.

I don't know how many friends you have who have been married, but very few of my married friends had the "traditional" financial arrangement.

Going to second that. The only wedding I've attended that had a very traditional financial arrangement was also one in which the bride was from a very upstanding Southern family. Modern = good.

But to further discuss traditional financial arrangements: typically, the groom's family is expected to pay for the honeymoon as well. That is, at least, the way it goes in the Deep South.

 

[JennyB]

How much time before the wedding do most people plan? My fiance and I were planning on getting married (civil ceremony) in March so we can get his immigration stuff together, then have our wedding in Germany this summer (very tiny and low key) and another one next summer in Orange County (HUGE, 300 people!). Recently, though, I've thought about having both weddings this summer because I'm working right now and planning to start med school this fall. Is five months not enough time to plan?

One more question: My fiance doesn't want to have our CA wedding until he has a job (which he can't legally have until he gets a work permit in about 6 months). Do any of the guys feel this way? Or do any of the girls feel like their fiance has to have a job before they get married? I just feel like this is so trivial because we are planning on moving to wherever I get accepted (unless I get into UCLA), he can't even legally work yet, and he's planning on going to business school so his job wouldn't even be a career yet. Why is this such a big deal??

 

[Doc Martins]

How much time before the wedding do most people plan? My fiance and I were planning on getting married (civil ceremony) in March so we can get his immigration stuff together, then have our wedding in Germany this summer (very tiny and low key) and another one next summer in Orange County (HUGE, 300 people!). Recently, though, I've thought about having both weddings this summer because I'm working right now and planning to start med school this fall. Is five months not enough time to plan?

One more question: My fiance doesn't want to have our CA wedding until he has a job (which he can't legally have until he gets a work permit in about 6 months). Do any of the guys feel this way? Or do any of the girls feel like their fiance has to have a job before they get married? I just feel like this is so trivial because we are planning on moving to wherever I get accepted (unless I get into UCLA), he can't even legally work yet, and he's planning on going to business school so his job wouldn't even be a career yet. Why is this such a big deal??

If you want to plan a 300 person wedding for this summer, start planning now. It is possible, but will take a lot of work on your part if you want to shop around and get the best prices on vendors. I started planning around March of last year for my wedding this June because I did things a little at a time and didn't want to be rushed. But from what I've seen, people book vendors over a year in advance. Oh, and for a wedding gown, you need to order one ASAP because the ordering process takes a while.

P.S. I can't wait for it be over, wedding planning is not my thing.

 

[seasoned winner]

If you want to plan a 300 person wedding for this summer, start planning now. It is possible, but will take a lot of work on your part if you want to shop around and get the best prices on vendors. I started planning around March of last year for my wedding this June because I did things a little at a time and didn't want to be rushed. But from what I've seen, people book vendors over a year in advance. Oh, and for a wedding gown, you need to order one ASAP because the ordering process takes a while.

P.S. I can't wait for it be over, wedding planning is not my thing.

I agree. If you really want a wedding in 5 months start planning now. However, if u can afford to wait to get married next summer, then you can take more time. I mean, you're only going to have a huge wedding once (hopefully!) in your life, so might as well make sure that everything is perfect! Don't want any regrets. I personally think you should have at least one year to plan a wedding, but that's because I want to take my time with my choices. Good luck! 🙂

 

[swtiepie711]

before or during med school? Is it higher than 50 percent. How many couples will still be married in 10 years? Love is great but what are the odds of success, seriously?

I saw something recently that said that many people quote the 50% number, but that isn't true for all people. The higher the education the married individuals have, the lower the divorce rate. Also, income correlated - the higher the income, the lower the divorce rate. Just food for thought.

 

[searun]

I saw something recently that said that many people quote the 50% number, but that isn't true for all people. The higher the education the married individuals have, the lower the divorce rate. Also, income correlated - the higher the income, the lower the divorce rate. Just food for thought.

I have heard statements that doctors have a particularly high divorce rate but perhaps that is just anecdotal. I have never seen a formal study to support those comments. Perhaps it is not true. Anyway, my hope is that relationships will thrive even under the pressures of med school and that my colleagues have long and stable marriages. Stable marriages are good for kids and for society.

Are you going to USC? It is high on my list - I am waiting to hear back from a few more schools where I interviewed but I really liked USC.

 

[ICCONFETTI]

I have heard statements that doctors have a particularly high divorce rate but perhaps that is just anecdotal. I have never seen a formal study to support those comments. Perhaps it is not true.

I actually saw a thread here in the forums (allo forums) where someone posted a link/article about a study done showing that doctor-doctor pairs actually have lower divorce rates than the normal divorce rate...

so i don't tend to agree that doctors have a higher divorce rate...

I can't find the thread which i saw it in, but it was about 2 months back....

 

[Iquitos]

I got married during October of my first year. Needless to say, my grades improved and I have a sugamomma to help pay the bills. 👍😍

 

[disorder]

all of this talk about getting married the summer before med school or the summer after the first year is encouraging.

👍

 

[Captain Fantastic]

all of this talk about getting married the summer before med school or the summer after the first year is encouraging.

Thinking about getting hitched, are ya?

 

[Textuality]

I'm currently planning a wedding for the summer after my first year of med school. The wedding is in his hometown which is pretty small so it's not too overwhelming. Although his side of the family is pretty big! I'm booking the church, reception venue, and caterer first, and then leaving the rest for closer to the wedding. His mom is helping with a lot of the planning. I highly recommend getting a good book about wedding planning that walks you through the timeline and things to think about.

Oh, and my fiance did a stunning job on my ring! The diamond is 1 carat, E color, vs1, excellent cut grade. It's even gia certified and laser inscribed with a ID number (which I confirmed with an appraiser). I strongly suggest you get a diamond with a gia certification, and you pick out the diamond loose and in person! So many flaws can be hidden by the setting that you might not know about, and you can't tell cut grade by online pictures very well. My fiance picked up my diamond at the jewelry exchange, he won't tell me how much he paid, just that it was under 6k total for stone and setting, which according to my appraiser, was a great deal since her conservative appraisal for it was 8k. Yeah...I know way more about diamonds than is normal...haha. And I looove my ring!

Ok, back to planning.

 

[BigRedBeta]

In my third year class alone, there's at least 5 or 6 girls that have (and given the number of couples in our class who have been dating since first year, I think at least 2 or 3 more will be getting to that stage soon), or are currently in the process of planning. There are at least the same number of guys who have gotten or will be getting married before we graduate next year. I also have 3 other friends - all girls - at other schools, who are planning weddings.

It's certainly doable. Even as a third year. Even if both of you are third years.


Further, my roommate's two sisters have both planned weddings while in residency...and the weddings weren't even in the cities where they currently reside. In that case it's definitely important that your MOH is clutch (my roommate was co-MOH for both her sisters, and she took a lot of responsibility...and she's also an M3!)

 

[Ella Shepherd]

After helping my sister with her stuff, I'd say after first or fourth year.

Advantages of doing it after first year is that you have the most free time to do it (without killing yourself).

Advantages of doing it after fourth year is that both people involved will better know what it means to be married to somebody pursuing a profession in medicine.

Good point. Good luck to all you couples! 😀

 

[silverlining1]

All this marriage and med school talk is making me teary with excitement, anticipation, romance, and nerves all at the same time! I was in a serious relationship that seemed like it was going to culminate in marriage, but that ended... I've just started a new relationship that is going well but is questionable as far as marriage - too early to tell! I'm so excited for these milestones in my life, but I know they can't be rushed...

Many congratulations to those of you who are on your way to marriage 🙂

 

[sunny1]

I actually saw a thread here in the forums (allo forums) where someone posted a link/article about a study done showing that doctor-doctor pairs actually have lower divorce rates than the normal divorce rate...

so i don't tend to agree that doctors have a higher divorce rate...

I can't find the thread which i saw it in, but it was about 2 months back....

There actually isn't too much data out there. What recent things I can find all have small n's. The only thing I see referencing that finding is old:

Divorce among physicians. Comparisons with other occupational groups. JAMA. 1989 Apr 28;261(16):2374-7. Doherty WJ, Burge SK.

More recent stuff:

When doctors marry doctors: a survey exploring the professional and family lives of young physicians. Ann Intern Med. 1999 Feb 16;130(4 Pt 1):312-9. Sobecks NW, Justice AC, et al.

 

[Ilovewaiting]

How many people did you guys invite from your class?

 

[NotAndrew]

War iquitos' 2008 revive
War Ilovewating's 2009 revive
War hamburgers
War The bills signing TO
War my 2010 revive

 

[Ilovewaiting]

War iquitos' 2008 revive
War Ilovewating's 2009 revive
War hamburgers
War The bills signing TO
War my 2010 revive

I guess you just declared war on me (and 4 other things)? Where do we go from here? Do we meet in the middle of a big field or something? Im just glad I have hamburgers on my side...

Ok moving past one of the weirdest/nerdiest posts Ive ever read, would anyone care to respond to my question? Apparently, I broke internet forum posting etiquette and revived a few month old thread- an offense severe enough to prompt a declaration of war- so for that I apologize. I still dare ask the previous posters how many people they invited from their class.

 

[NotAndrew]

I broke internet forum posting etiquette and revived a few year old thread- an offense severe enough to prompt a declaration of war- so for that I apologize.

Fixed.

 

[MrBeauregard]

I actually proposed to my girlfriend on Valentine's Day of this year. We are getting married July 25th. For us, getting married before I start medical school is the only way to go. We've been together for two and a half years, and we can't wait any longer, especially if we have to be separated. If you know you are with the right person, then you can make the strains of medical school and marrige work. It may be tough, but I will be living with my best friend during medical school, and I can't imagine it any other way. Her support will be incredibly beneficial for me and I believe that I will be a better student and doctor because of it. For all of those people that say there is no way to nurture a marriage and be a medical student at the same time, it's just not true. If you truly believe that marriage is the right thing for you and your partner, go for it.

 

[divajazzerina]

After searching, I decided to revive this old, semi-related thread instead of starting a new one.

This is more for the ladies, but feel free to chime in too men!

Looking at engagement rings with the boyfriend right now...

It seems that the ring settings that sit high above the finger would get in the way when wearing latex gloves. Is this a concern or issue for anyone engaged/married/thinking of it?

I'm interested in surgery and I imagine wearing a ring at all would get in the way and perhaps not be sterile anyway?

Just trying to decide how much I should let this impact what rings I consider. Thanks!

 

[DocBell]

After searching, I decided to revive this old, semi-related thread instead of starting a new one.

This is more for the ladies, but feel free to chime in too men!

Looking at engagement rings with the boyfriend right now...

It seems that the ring settings that sit high above the finger would get in the way when wearing latex gloves. Is this a concern or issue for anyone engaged/married/thinking of it?

I'm interested in surgery and I imagine wearing a ring at all would get in the way and perhaps not be sterile anyway?

Just trying to decide how much I should let this impact what rings I consider. Thanks!

Hmm good job reviving the old thread. I found it super interesting 🙂 My friend's dad who is a surgeon (though male) isn't allowed to wear a ring at all for the reason's you mentioned. The ring gets in the way, I would think this would be especially try if you were a girl. On that note I definitely wouldn't recommend tying your ring around your scrub strings because he did when he operated and he lost his ring! 😱 Since you are probably gonna have to take it off anyways IMO I would get the ring you want and find a way to work around not losing it and such.

 

[Total180]

This thread is so adorable. I'm not engaged or married or anything, but I was thinking if you weren't allowed to wear a ring under your gloves during surgery a good idea might be to get a pretty chain and wear it as a necklace under your scrubs. That way it is still with you, and you know you won't lose it.

 

[unleash500]

.

 

[rph3664]

Oh wow, for some reason I always thought people waited until after med school to start thinking about getting married. I myself would love to get married (and yes I'm in a situation to, lol), but was sure I'd be waiting 4-6 years :b

Used to be, people got married before or during med school (or other professional programs) so they would have someone to support them financially, and then ditch them (and any children they may have had together) immediately upon graduation.

I deliberately made that post gender neutral because the first time I ever heard of someone doing this, it was a woman who did it to a man. She became a veterinarian on his dime, and served him with divorce papers within a week after graduation. Fortunately, they did not have children.

 

[rph3664]

Where do u guys get the money for a wedding during medical school ??

Student loans!

No, srsly, there's a lot to be said for eloping. 👍 😍

 

[DocBell]

This thread is so adorable. I'm not engaged or married or anything, but I was thinking if you weren't allowed to wear a ring under your gloves during surgery a good idea might be to get a pretty chain and wear it as a necklace under your scrubs. That way it is still with you, and you know you won't lose it.

I'm not either but I think that sounds like a really cute idea if I am ever in that situation. Plus it would be handy since your prolly wouldn't lose it. I know I would otherwise

 

[divajazzerina]

Student loans!

No, srsly, there's a lot to be said for eloping. 👍 😍

HA! we're not planning on getting married for years (and even then we plan on doing something small with a few family members and friends.Not huge and expensive. ie: eloping, but with some family there.) He's not in medicine and I don't plan on ditching him 😀 ....hehe

@ DocBell- Thanks for the insight! I agree, since it's most likely going to have to come off anyway, I'll just get whatever I like most.

@Total180- The necklace is a great idea! Just need to get something with a sturdy clasp and make sure to always have it on or with you when the rings have to come off.

 

[ninefivethree]

Used to be, people got married before or during med school (or other professional programs) so they would have someone to support them financially, and then ditch them (and any children they may have had together) immediately upon graduation.

I deliberately made that post gender neutral because the first time I ever heard of someone doing this, it was a woman who did it to a man. She became a veterinarian on his dime, and served him with divorce papers within a week after graduation. Fortunately, they did not have children.

i heard of a woman who got married to a 2nd year med student. she really wanted to go to med school but didn't get in even though her stats were around the average for that school. he went to the administration and told them that they were married and it would be detrimental to his grades if she was somewhere else etc etc. i'm not exactly sure what all he said but i know that she was accepted after match to the same school. a month after class started, she divorced him. there were only married a couple months.

 

[The Poet Sings]

i heard of a woman who got married to a 2nd year med student. she really wanted to go to med school but didn't get in even though her stats were around the average for that school. he went to the administration and told them that they were married and it would be detrimental to his grades if she was somewhere else etc etc. i'm not exactly sure what all he said but i know that she was accepted after match to the same school. a month after class started, she divorced him. there were only married a couple months.

wow using someone to get into med school. that's def a new/interesting one. i wonder if they laughed at him when his grades went down after the divorce 🙁.

 

[curlytop]

i heard of a woman who got married to a 2nd year med student. she really wanted to go to med school but didn't get in even though her stats were around the average for that school. he went to the administration and told them that they were married and it would be detrimental to his grades if she was somewhere else etc etc. i'm not exactly sure what all he said but i know that she was accepted after match to the same school. a month after class started, she divorced him. there were only married a couple months.

Wow...what a nasty...well you know.😱

 

[mspeedwagon]

To your original question: the ring definitely has to come off. During surgery rotation my gf made it clear she didn't want much money spent on a ring since she was likely to loose it. She suggested an upgraded ring after residency. It is something to definitely consider. Apparently rings getting lost during surgery isn't all that uncommon.

I agree that the necklace idea is brilliant.

HA! we're not planning on getting married for years (and even then we plan on doing something small with a few family members and friends.Not huge and expensive. ie: eloping, but with some family there.) He's not in medicine and I don't plan on ditching him 😀 ....hehe

@ DocBell- Thanks for the insight! I agree, since it's most likely going to have to come off anyway, I'll just get whatever I like most.

@Total180- The necklace is a great idea! Just need to get something with a sturdy clasp and make sure to always have it on or with you when the rings have to come off.