What Am I Thinking?

[ForbiddenComma]

I'm asking you a simple question, student: What Am I Thinking?

Don't just stand there, mouth agape. It's a simple question, really. You passed two years of med school. You did pass them, right? What was your Step 1 score, anyway?

I'm still waiting for an answer. Here's a hint: it involves something I happened to read last night.

God, I've already told you about it a dozen times, give or take twelve, and you still can't come up with it.

You know the patient. It's your first day of service? I don't care. Why back in my day, not only did I know everything about every patient on my first day of service... I knew everything about my next service's patients as well. Even if it was a month off. Yes, I had to predict who would be admitted a month off. It ain't like it used to be. Do you think we had computers to look up lab results? Why back in the good old days, not only did we not have computers, we did not have charts at all! And we didn't have these whatsamacallits, "phlebotomists" to draw blood either. We had to draw the blood using nothing but a knife to cut the vein and a cup to collect the blood - the same cup we had to use for coffee - and then we'd taste the blood and know the electrolyte balance that way! What! They don't teach that in school anymore? Wow, things have gotten soft.

Anyway, where was I. Oh yes. Back to the point at hand, and remember, your evaluation depends on this:

What Am I Thinking?

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Droopy Snoopy]

I'm asking you a simple question, student: What Am I Thinking?

Don't just stand there, mouth agape. It's a simple question, really. You passed two years of med school. You did pass them, right? What was your Step 1 score, anyway?

I'm still waiting for an answer. Here's a hint: it involves something I happened to read last night.

God, I've already told you about it a dozen times, give or take twelve, and you still can't come up with it.

You know the patient. It's your first day of service? I don't care. Why back in my day, not only did I know everything about every patient on my first day of service... I knew everything about my next service's patients as well. Even if it was a month off. Yes, I had to predict who would be admitted a month off. It ain't like it used to be. Do you think we had computers to look up lab results? Why back in the good old days, not only did we not have computers, we did not have charts at all! And we didn't have these whatsamacallits, "phlebotomists" to draw blood either. We had to draw the blood using nothing but a knife to cut the vein and a cup to collect the blood - the same cup we had to use for coffee - and then we'd taste the blood and know the electrolyte balance that way! What! They don't teach that in school anymore? Wow, things have gotten soft.

Anyway, where was I. Oh yes. Back to the point at hand, and remember, your evaluation depends on this:

What Am I Thinking?

Great stuff. I'm just commenting because it'll be easier to link next time I read a thread asking what the clinical years are like. On medicine rounds, in the OR, in the patient's clinic room, there's no place safe. What cannot be put into words is the feeling of having 12 or so pairs of eyes on you as you summon the psychic energy to read this a-hole's mind or come up with really anything intelligent to say.

 

[smq123]

I'm asking you a simple question, student: What Am I Thinking?

Don't just stand there, mouth agape. It's a simple question, really. You passed two years of med school. You did pass them, right? What was your Step 1 score, anyway?

I'm still waiting for an answer. Here's a hint: it involves something I happened to read last night.

God, I've already told you about it a dozen times, give or take twelve, and you still can't come up with it.

You know the patient. It's your first day of service? I don't care. Why back in my day, not only did I know everything about every patient on my first day of service... I knew everything about my next service's patients as well. Even if it was a month off. Yes, I had to predict who would be admitted a month off. It ain't like it used to be. Do you think we had computers to look up lab results? Why back in the good old days, not only did we not have computers, we did not have charts at all! And we didn't have these whatsamacallits, "phlebotomists" to draw blood either. We had to draw the blood using nothing but a knife to cut the vein and a cup to collect the blood - the same cup we had to use for coffee - and then we'd taste the blood and know the electrolyte balance that way! What! They don't teach that in school anymore? Wow, things have gotten soft.

Anyway, where was I. Oh yes. Back to the point at hand, and remember, your evaluation depends on this:

What Am I Thinking?

Awesome.

 

[Ashers]

I'm asking you a simple question, student: What Am I Thinking?

Don't just stand there, mouth agape. It's a simple question, really. You passed two years of med school. You did pass them, right? What was your Step 1 score, anyway?

I'm still waiting for an answer. Here's a hint: it involves something I happened to read last night.

God, I've already told you about it a dozen times, give or take twelve, and you still can't come up with it.

You know the patient. It's your first day of service? I don't care. Why back in my day, not only did I know everything about every patient on my first day of service... I knew everything about my next service's patients as well. Even if it was a month off. Yes, I had to predict who would be admitted a month off. It ain't like it used to be. Do you think we had computers to look up lab results? Why back in the good old days, not only did we not have computers, we did not have charts at all! And we didn't have these whatsamacallits, "phlebotomists" to draw blood either. We had to draw the blood using nothing but a knife to cut the vein and a cup to collect the blood - the same cup we had to use for coffee - and then we'd taste the blood and know the electrolyte balance that way! What! They don't teach that in school anymore? Wow, things have gotten soft.

Anyway, where was I. Oh yes. Back to the point at hand, and remember, your evaluation depends on this:

What Am I Thinking?

Classic! I was reminded of that several times when I was a phlebotomist by my dad.

Also, attendings talking about how residency (med school -- depending on student work hours) is easy now because of the work hour regulations.

 

[jocg27]

I'm asking you a simple question, student: What Am I Thinking?

Don't just stand there, mouth agape. It's a simple question, really. You passed two years of med school. You did pass them, right? What was your Step 1 score, anyway?

I'm still waiting for an answer. Here's a hint: it involves something I happened to read last night.

God, I've already told you about it a dozen times, give or take twelve, and you still can't come up with it.

You know the patient. It's your first day of service? I don't care. Why back in my day, not only did I know everything about every patient on my first day of service... I knew everything about my next service's patients as well. Even if it was a month off. Yes, I had to predict who would be admitted a month off. It ain't like it used to be. Do you think we had computers to look up lab results? Why back in the good old days, not only did we not have computers, we did not have charts at all! And we didn't have these whatsamacallits, "phlebotomists" to draw blood either. We had to draw the blood using nothing but a knife to cut the vein and a cup to collect the blood - the same cup we had to use for coffee - and then we'd taste the blood and know the electrolyte balance that way! What! They don't teach that in school anymore? Wow, things have gotten soft.

Anyway, where was I. Oh yes. Back to the point at hand, and remember, your evaluation depends on this:

What Am I Thinking?

You did take it more recently than every single person in this room, after all.

 

[Top Gun]

I'm asking you a simple question, student: What Am I Thinking?

Don't just stand there, mouth agape. It's a simple question, really. You passed two years of med school. You did pass them, right? What was your Step 1 score, anyway?

I'm still waiting for an answer. Here's a hint: it involves something I happened to read last night.

God, I've already told you about it a dozen times, give or take twelve, and you still can't come up with it.

You know the patient. It's your first day of service? I don't care. Why back in my day, not only did I know everything about every patient on my first day of service... I knew everything about my next service's patients as well. Even if it was a month off. Yes, I had to predict who would be admitted a month off. It ain't like it used to be. Do you think we had computers to look up lab results? Why back in the good old days, not only did we not have computers, we did not have charts at all! And we didn't have these whatsamacallits, "phlebotomists" to draw blood either. We had to draw the blood using nothing but a knife to cut the vein and a cup to collect the blood - the same cup we had to use for coffee - and then we'd taste the blood and know the electrolyte balance that way! What! They don't teach that in school anymore? Wow, things have gotten soft.

Anyway, where was I. Oh yes. Back to the point at hand, and remember, your evaluation depends on this:

What Am I Thinking?

Sounds like some of the attendings I had on surgery!

 

[Tired]

What Am I Thinking?

The answer is bilateral absent radii.

The question most common upper extremity deformity in Fanconi's anemia.


Seriously guys, get your head in the game. By your MS3 year, no one is going to spoon feed anything to you anymore. You should be able to answer these kinds of questions in your sleep.

 

[DrDre311]

The answer is bilateral absent radii.

The question most common upper extremity deformity in Fanconi's anemia.


Seriously guys, get your head in the game. By your MS3 year, no one is going to spoon feed anything to you anymore. You should be able to answer these kinds of questions in your sleep.

Yeah, I'm actually asleep right now and I knew the question and the answer the second the picture loaded on my computer without even looking at it. You guys need to learn to read while you're sleeping and quit expecting people to hold your hand so much.

 

[Ludicolo]

Who told them they are allowed to sleep?

 

[Richie Truxillo]

"Richie...let's have a heart to heart here. I crap out turds that have more value than your H&Ps, and that's after I've been eating cans of expired Hormel Chili. Listen here "Hotshot," you better rattle off all of Ranson's Criteria and pull a nice current journal article out of your arse to back up your claim before I turn you into mincemeat! And not one of those articles from the "Journal of Who Gives a Rat's Arse," but some obscure journal I've never heard off because I'd read everything known to man. That's right Richie, I'm a frickin walking wikipedia and I'm going to go Google on your lazy arse if you don't rattle off the answer right now. OH! You don't have an article to backup your Ranson's Criteria? Then you will be giving us a 30 minute presentation on the Ebola virus tomorrow during lunch! Congratulations tough guy. Now go! Move along you worthless peon of a 3rd year medical student. No wait, go get me some coffee but don't be gone too long and I like milk and sugar in mine, none of that Splenda crap. If I taste ANY and I mean ANNYYYY Splenda in that coffee, rest assured I'll give you a bad grade and write in your permanent record that your a raving homosexual that's devoid of any clinical knowledge and has the clinical skills of gerbal. Ok, run along now...dismissed! Go! What are you staring at me for! What? You actually WANT a LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION from me for your stupid match process. Son, the only thing I'll write you a recommendation for is that position in the county office "Welfare Cheese Engineer." NOW... LEAVE BEFORE I EAT YOUR SOUL!"


Ok that's what I imagined

 

[Top Gun]

Yeah, I'm actually asleep right now and I knew the question and the answer the second the picture loaded on my computer without even looking at it. You guys need to learn to read while you're sleeping and quit expecting people to hold your hand so much.

Yeah, you third-year med students really need to get on the ball! Didn't they teach you mind-reading in your second year, and didn't they test that on Step 1?

 

[MSHell]

The book store ran out of "Mind Reading for Medical Students".