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ProteinTreasure

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Have you been in situations (especially social gatherings) where you don't really want to say you are a doctor. Just wandering what else I can say so that I am neither lying, nor willing to give out much info. Any thoughts will be appreciated.
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ProteinTreasure said:
Have you been in situations (especially social gatherings) where you don't really want to say you are a doctor. Just wandering what else I can say so that I am neither lying, nor willing to give out much info. Any thoughts will be appreciated.
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whywoudln't you want to say that? It is interesting that we have been made to feel bad for being physicians. The only time I don't say that is when I"m making a big purchase. For example i recently bought a house - did not mention being a doctor when trying to haggle for price. then my mom busts out oh my daughter is a doctor! Lol. Sorry side note. But anyhow, outside of that you should proudly say you are a doctor. You can always say you work in healthcare. but then you'll likely get asked what you do.
 
I may say i work in healthcare or in a hospital or in a doctors office and try to leave it at that. If im trapped making small talk with someone i may never see again but who i really dont want to start asking me for medical advice (like when im getting my hair cut) i lie....
 
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Burnted_out said:
whywoudln't you want to say that? It is interesting that we have been made to feel bad for being physicians. The only time I don't say that is when I"m making a big purchase. For example i recently bought a house - did not mention being a doctor when trying to haggle for price. then my mom busts out oh my daughter is a doctor! Lol. Sorry side note. But anyhow, outside of that you should proudly say you are a doctor. You can always say you work in healthcare. but then you'll likely get asked what you do.
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Thank you for your reply.

Again I am very proud of being a doctor. I feel uncomfortable about being asked to give opinion and I usually tell them they need to talk to their doctor as s/he knows them best. But somehow this does go down well as answer.
 
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geripalgal said:
I may say i work in healthcare or in a hospital or in a doctors office and try to leave it at that. If im trapped making small talk with someone i may never see again but who i really dont want to start asking me for medical advice (like when im getting my hair cut) i lie....
Click to expand...

Thank you for your reply. This is exactly I had in mind.
 
I say I work at a hospital or that I'm a student (still believable because I look young). I usually just ask the person about their job and act really interested to deflect.

Burnted_out said:
whywoudln't you want to say that? It is interesting that we have been made to feel bad for being physicians. The only time I don't say that is when I"m making a big purchase. For example i recently bought a house - did not mention being a doctor when trying to haggle for price. then my mom busts out oh my daughter is a doctor! Lol. Sorry side note. But anyhow, outside of that you should proudly say you are a doctor. You can always say you work in healthcare. but then you'll likely get asked what you do.
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Several reasons. Sometimes people start asking you about their medical problems, which creates both an awkward situation and ethical dilemma. Sometimes people look at you differently, they suddenly think you're arrogant or think you're better than them because they get insecure. I've had people who were phds or other doctors try and compare degrees and the insecurity is palpable. Sometimes people will try and take advantage of you: "Oh you're a doc! I've got this great investment idea!" I've had attendings who've said lawyer neighbors found out they were physicians and suddenly they got sued by the lawyer neighbor for random crap "you destroyed my bush with your lawn mower, you owe me $$$!" Society has very polarized views on doctors which create all sorts of problems for us. Most of the time it's easier to just be seen as an another random person than a physician.
 
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People expect doctors to be rich and tip more and I’m a PCP with loans... ... .. so I say I work in the office of such and such clinic ... people don’t seem to inquire further when I say “I work in the office”

Everytime I say I work in healthcare people ask me “oh are u a nurse”

Everytime I say I’m a doc people then tell me details about there health history
 
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ProteinTreasure said:
Thank you for your reply. This is exactly I had in mind.
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True story, i once went to a hair salon near the fm clinic where i was rotating at. Turns out the hairdresser in the stall next to me was the mom of one of the kids I had seen the day before. It was so awkward!! first she would ask me medical follow up questions for her kid... then she and the lady cutting my hair started bashing vaccines! I couldnt escape!


I now only get my haircut far away from work (and home) lol.
 
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I too don't want to get dragged into conversations with new people about my profession.
My ploy is to say I am an educator, which is true.. After I have sized up the person and the situation I might let them know what kind of educator I am.

I am of an age that I can also say I am retired, which is also true.
 
my job is kryptonite to most men. before i was married, i went to bars with my colleagues like everyone else. since i knew the guys would leave as soon as they found out i was a surgeon, i would play a game... i would make up various jobs when a guy at a bar asked me what i did for a living. i have successfully managed to convince dudes that I was: a sales rep, a waitress, a stewardess, a shoe model, a nurse, and on one notable occasion (thanks to help from my wingwoman co-resident), an astronaut.


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ProteinTreasure said:
Have you been in situations (especially social gatherings) where you don't really want to say you are a doctor. Just wandering what else I can say so that I am neither lying, nor willing to give out much info. Any thoughts will be appreciated.
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This would make a great interview question!

Let's see:
I'm a resident
I'm a resident at X hospital
I'm a clinician
I'm a ___resident
I'm a health care provider
I'm an intern

When dealing with laypersons, I'll bet 90% of them will have no idea what you meant, and let it go at that.
 
OrthoTraumaMD said:
my job is kryptonite to most men. before i was married, i went to bars with my colleagues like everyone else. since i knew the guys would leave as soon as they found out i was a surgeon, i would play a game... i would make up various jobs when a guy at a bar asked me what i did for a living. i have successfully managed to convince dudes that I was: a sales rep, a waitress, a stewardess, a shoe model, a nurse, and on one notable occasion (thanks to help from my wingwoman co-resident), an astronaut.


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Most American men are threatened by intelligent women. I, in turn, was always a sucker for them. Married a Biochemist!
 
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And you’re always at work so I end up doing all the laundry...

I used to say “I’m in the Navy”, now I say “I left the navy recently”. Works pretty well even though recently isn’t that accurate
 
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OK, this is in vein with this.

I have friends to where hiding that I'm a physician is a no-go.

I have this issue where they want to go on and on and on about vaccines, herbals, weed, ridiculous cures for cancer, etc. Often they ask me what I think about them, and I seriously don't even know how to tackle it without being a huge jerk. I know how to do so with actual patients, but I feel like the dynamic is much different outside the hospital with friends.

I haven't figured out how to answer or even better, just shut down the conversation.

I probably don't help the case that frequently I am glad to offer education on a variety of things that come up. That's fine with me, I just wish there was a way to dodge the BS that comes my way.
 
Crayola227 said:
I have this issue where they want to go on and on and on about vaccines, herbals, weed, ridiculous cures for cancer, etc. Often they ask me what I think about them, and I seriously don't even know how to tackle it without being a huge jerk. I know how to do so with actual patients, but I feel like the dynamic is much different outside the hospital with friends.
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Are your friends idiots? If not, have a conversation about it once and they should be good going forward. If it comes up again, you can simply respond with "we've discussed this." If that proves inadequate, I'd reconsider who I was spending time with.
 
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OrthoTraumaMD said:
my job is kryptonite to most men. before i was married, i went to bars with my colleagues like everyone else. since i knew the guys would leave as soon as they found out i was a surgeon, i would play a game... i would make up various jobs when a guy at a bar asked me what i did for a living. i have successfully managed to convince dudes that I was: a sales rep, a waitress, a stewardess, a shoe model, a nurse, and on one notable occasion (thanks to help from my wingwoman co-resident), an astronaut.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile
Click to expand...

When I was in my first couple years of residency, when I wanted to go out dancing and just have fun, I would do something similar. Telling guys I was a surgery resident caused them to vanish even just from conversation and dancing. So I’d say I was a flight attendant. It sounds very impermanent and non-threatening.

When I was an intern, a fellow intern and I went to Nashville for a weekend. I instructed her early on to say we were flight attendants. She is a terrible liar though and gave up pretty quick.

Late in the evening we were drinking and dancing with a couple of men in their 40s at Roberts on Broadway (they had great cowboy hats we were trying to convince them to give us). One asked what we did and my friend said seriously, “Doctor...surgeon in training.” They laughed at her and said something like “Ah that’s cute and funny. What do you really do?” So she said “Umm.... flight attendant?” - a bit perplexed at how to handle the mockery. And then those guys went on and on about what a fun job that must be for two young blonde women in their 20s.

We left soon after without the hats. But I still have a pretty good picture of me in the hat at least.
 
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My female residency classmates had similar experiences...say you're a surgeon, men ran away. Say virtually anything else (nurse was always a winner...) and they'd stick around.

I usually tell people (like at the store or salon if asked) I'm a surgical tech. That way if I weigh in on something sort of medical, it doesn't raise flags. Typically gets the response "how do you put up with all that blood?" or "That sounds interesting, I bet you've seen a LOT!".
 
OrthoTraumaMD said:
Well we are all technicians....of awesomeness. So it ain’t a lie!! ;)

@LucidSplash, I don’t get the mockery as much (mostly because I have what my friends call a very intense gaze that’s unmistakably “in charge”).... but what I do get, which is even more annoying, is requests for medical advice. I’ve ended up talking to a guy at a party only to then have him ask about his sports injury, etc. I actually got pulled by one guy into a sectioned-off private area in a club so he could discuss his back pain with me. No, I’m not giving you a free consultation, especially when you’re not even gonna date me. It’s like they think, hey maybe I can still get something out of her even if I don’t get laid.... sigh. Men. Or rather, humans.


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I'm a dude and I still get the requests for medical advice. Or people asking me how I feel about treating diabetes with marijuana. Or whatever else.
 
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Smurfette said:
My female residency classmates had similar experiences...say you're a surgeon, men ran away. Say virtually anything else (nurse was always a winner...) and they'd stick around.

I usually tell people (like at the store or salon if asked) I'm a surgical tech. That way if I weigh in on something sort of medical, it doesn't raise flags. Typically gets the response "how do you put up with all that blood?" or "That sounds interesting, I bet you've seen a LOT!".
Click to expand...

I was honestly kinda saddened when my female classmates told me they had no luck with dating simply by being med students. Being the guy that I am, I automatically assumed, "Dang, they're successful and driven. Guys will love that!" Didn't take long to understand that had not been their experience.

I too am sheepish telling people I'm involved in medicine (as much as a 3rdyr can be...) but the amount of deflection and obfuscation that the women on here have described going through is just disheartening. Says a lot about society I guess.
 
OrthoTraumaMD said:
Well we are all technicians....of awesomeness. So it ain’t a lie!! ;)

@LucidSplash, I don’t get the mockery as much (mostly because I have what my friends call a very intense gaze that’s unmistakably “in charge”).... but what I do get, which is even more annoying, is requests for medical advice. I’ve ended up talking to a guy at a party only to then have him ask about his sports injury, etc. I actually got pulled by one guy into a sectioned-off private area in a club so he could discuss his back pain with me. No, I’m not giving you a free consultation, especially when you’re not even gonna date me. It’s like they think, hey maybe I can still get something out of her even if I don’t get laid.... sigh. Men. Or rather, humans.


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Click to expand...

At least it could help narrow down the field from those you wouldn't want to date...
 
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OrthoTraumaMD said:
Well we are all technicians....of awesomeness. So it ain’t a lie!! ;)

@LucidSplash, I don’t get the mockery as much (mostly because I have what my friends call a very intense gaze that’s unmistakably “in charge”).... but what I do get, which is even more annoying, is requests for medical advice. I’ve ended up talking to a guy at a party only to then have him ask about his sports injury, etc. I actually got pulled by one guy into a sectioned-off private area in a club so he could discuss his back pain with me. No, I’m not giving you a free consultation, especially when you’re not even gonna date me. It’s like they think, hey maybe I can still get something out of her even if I don’t get laid.... sigh. Men. Or rather, humans.


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Click to expand...

Well to be fair we were interns.

I have some great stories I could tell about dating in residency. Many eye rolls could be had.

We probably would handle the situation differently now. And I have no problem these days telling men what I do. It’s a good litmus year that helps not waste energy.
 
FutureInternist said:
I am one of the docs at [local hospital].

Lets them know what I do w/on sounding too ??hoity-toity ;)
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I say I work at the Children's hospital. In both communities I've been in, it's been enough of a presence that most people don't probe further. I'm sure most assume I'm a nurse, but whatever.
 
Depends who I’m talking to, I try to deflect the question. Usually would say something like I work in healthcare or something. If someone really wants to know, I tell them.

I’m big into fitness, it’s funny how much broscience I hear from guys that have no idea what they are talking about, lots of free useless advice. I really try to bite my tongue, and most often do.
 
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ProteinTreasure said:
Have you been in situations (especially social gatherings) where you don't really want to say you are a doctor. Just wandering what else I can say so that I am neither lying, nor willing to give out much info. Any thoughts will be appreciated.
Click to expand...

Try getting used to telling the truth. You didn't bring it up. THEY did. Just tell them.
 
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