What do you guys think?

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.

skiracer90

go sox!
10+ Year Member
5+ Year Member
15+ Year Member
Joined
Aug 3, 2004
Messages
309
Reaction score
0
Okay so I just had my first interview. Yay. Umm...however, since I seem to be lacking all possible luck, a little twist was added to it. When I received my packet on who my interviewers were, it turned out one of them was the brother of a girl I had lived with while abroad. The thing is, we weren't really friends. I mean, we coexisted fine but I was never friendly with her because she wasn't the type of person I would normally hang out with and our personalities would sometimes clash. So, I developed my own group of friends and pretty much steered clear of her. I mean, I was never mean or rude to her but I did give off a vibe that I didn't want to be friends. And, mutual friends of ours would sometimes say to me that she thought I hated her. Now, I'm guessing she told her family about me since I was her roommate and abroad experiences are just ones that you tell every detail about...so they probably know I kind of gave her the cold shoulder. I told her brother that I lived with his sister while abroad during the interview and then what preceded was the most mundane 30 minutes of me trying to respond to 'tell me about yourself' in a one-sided conversation. I guess I'm just worried that because his sister and I didn't get along, it'll affect my chances. I have the best luck in the world. What do you guys think about this situation?? :(

Members don't see this ad.
 
skiracer90 said:
Okay so I just had my first interview. Yay. Umm...however, since I seem to be lacking all possible luck, a little twist was added to it. When I received my packet on who my interviewers were, it turned out one of them was the brother of a girl I had lived with while abroad. The thing is, we weren't really friends. I mean, we coexisted fine but I was never friendly with her because she wasn't the type of person I would normally hang out with and our personalities would sometimes clash. So, I developed my own group of friends and pretty much steered clear of her. I mean, I was never mean or rude to her but I did give off a vibe that I didn't want to be friends. And, mutual friends of ours would sometimes say to me that she thought I hated her. Now, I'm guessing she told her family about me since I was her roommate and abroad experiences are just ones that you tell every detail about...so they probably know I kind of gave her the cold shoulder. I told her brother that I lived with his sister while abroad during the interview and then what preceded was the most mundane 30 minutes of me trying to respond to 'tell me about yourself' in a one-sided conversation. I guess I'm just worried that because his sister and I didn't get along, it'll affect my chances. I have the best luck in the world. What do you guys think about this situation?? :(

That's a stupid ass reason not to let someone in a school...I wouldn't worry to much. Generally, no one person has sole decision making capability in the application process.


Good luck.
 
This is a sticky situation. I think you should bring it to the admission committees attention before they review your file. I can't imagine a positive outcome if they find out after the fact that you knew your interviewer and didn't say anything. Especially considering that fact that he may not have positive things to say about you (depending on the type of person he is), let the school know. They will probably just reschedual the student interview.
 
Members don't see this ad :)
BGGA said:
This is a sticky situation. I think you should bring it to the admission committees attention before they review your file. I can't imagine a positive outcome if they find out after the fact that you knew your interviewer and didn't say anything. Especially considering that fact that he may not have positive things to say about you (depending on the type of person he is), let the school know. They will probably just reschedual the student interview.


Well I didn't 'know' the interviewer exactly. I knew his sister. You really think I should call to re-do the interview??
 
ski racer, i really think its fair of you to call the ad com and reschedule the interview. say that you know this person (even though it is vaguely) and you feel that it would not be a fair assessment of your character both for you AND the other interviewees since that person knows you/ or of you. if you mention it isnt fair to the other ppl they are more likely to assign you someone else. i think its perfectly reasonable! and the worst that happens, is that they cant reschedule someone for that day, so you might get a different day. worst possible case scenario: that guy HAS to interview you (i cant imagine why) but even so, he cant judge you JUST based on that! he has to go in there unbiased. hey, best of luck with this, girl and i dunno bout skiing u should try snowboarding!! ;)
PS did u grow up in amherst? do u know the venemans, the mrs teaches science and the mr is a prof at u mass amherst
 
skiracer90 said:
Okay so I just had my first interview. Yay. Umm...however, since I seem to be lacking all possible luck, a little twist was added to it. When I received my packet on who my interviewers were, it turned out one of them was the brother of a girl I had lived with while abroad. The thing is, we weren't really friends. I mean, we coexisted fine but I was never friendly with her because she wasn't the type of person I would normally hang out with and our personalities would sometimes clash. So, I developed my own group of friends and pretty much steered clear of her. I mean, I was never mean or rude to her but I did give off a vibe that I didn't want to be friends. And, mutual friends of ours would sometimes say to me that she thought I hated her. Now, I'm guessing she told her family about me since I was her roommate and abroad experiences are just ones that you tell every detail about...so they probably know I kind of gave her the cold shoulder. I told her brother that I lived with his sister while abroad during the interview and then what preceded was the most mundane 30 minutes of me trying to respond to 'tell me about yourself' in a one-sided conversation. I guess I'm just worried that because his sister and I didn't get along, it'll affect my chances. I have the best luck in the world. What do you guys think about this situation?? :(

I think your situation depends on a few different factors. Was the interviewer a medical student or a professor/physician? I know you say the interview was rather mundane, but was there anything positive about it at all? Also, how long ago did you and the girl live together abroad? If it was within the last year, you may have reason for concern. But if it was two or more years ago, you're probably okay. People change...and forget. Unless you did something to his sister to really piss her off, it shouldn't be a big deal. How did he react when you told him that you knew his sister? That's usually the type of connection that should work to your advantage, but if the interviewer's attitude changed for the worse after you told him that, you should probably ask for another interviewer. But more than likely, it shouldn't affect your chances at the school much.
 
Fusion said:
I think your situation depends on a few different factors. Was the interviewer a medical student or a professor/physician? I know you say the interview was rather mundane, but was there anything positive about it at all? Also, how long ago did you and the girl live together abroad? If it was within the last year, you may have reason for concern. But if it was two or more years ago, you're probably okay. People change...and forget. Unless you did something to his sister to really piss her off, it shouldn't be a big deal. How did he react when you told him that you knew his sister? That's usually the type of connection that should work to your advantage, but if the interviewer's attitude changed for the worse after you told him that, you should probably ask for another interviewer. But more than likely, it shouldn't affect your chances at the school much.

He was a medical student. I was abroad with his sister 1st semester of junior year sooo it was roughly a year ago. However, I didn't do anything bad to her...or anything to piss her off. We just weren't friends and it was by my decision. She'd want to hang out and I'd generally decline because I usually was annoyed by her and figured it would be best for my sanity to not be around her that much. She obviously figured this out since I learned from people that she thought I didn't like her. We still occassionally talk online and it's cordial. When I told him that I lived with her while we were abroad he kept the same expression he began the interview with. He just seemed sort of disinterested through the whole thing. Since I've already gone through the interview, I'd prefer not to go through it again just because of this. It was one of those interviews where the interviewer says 'tell me about yourself' and you're expected to talk for the next 30 minutes. I would insert pauses here and there to offer him a chance to ask me questions or comment on anything and he didn't say ANYTHING. It was horrid. I really think it would be ridiculous for him to judge me as a potential medical student just because I didn't like his sister. Honestly, what are the chances of this happening?!
 
skiracer90 said:
He was a medical student. I was abroad with his sister 1st semester of junior year sooo it was roughly a year ago. However, I didn't do anything bad to her...or anything to piss her off. We just weren't friends and it was by my decision. She'd want to hang out and I'd generally decline because I usually was annoyed by her and figured it would be best for my sanity to not be around her that much. She obviously figured this out since I learned from people that she thought I didn't like her. We still occassionally talk online and it's cordial. When I told him that I lived with her while we were abroad he kept the same expression he began the interview with. He just seemed sort of disinterested through the whole thing. Since I've already gone through the interview, I'd prefer not to go through it again just because of this. It was one of those interviews where the interviewer says 'tell me about yourself' and you're expected to talk for the next 30 minutes. I would insert pauses here and there to offer him a chance to ask me questions or comment on anything and he didn't say ANYTHING. It was horrid. I really think it would be ridiculous for him to judge me as a potential medical student just because I didn't like his sister. Honestly, what are the chances of this happening?!

i don't think you should have mentioned this on the interview. it was really irrelevant and your relationship with his sister, whether it was positive or negative should have no bearing on the outcome of the interview or the recommendation of the interviewer.
 
Psycho Doctor said:
i don't think you should have mentioned this on the interview. it was really irrelevant and your relationship with his sister, whether it was positive or negative should have no bearing on the outcome of the interview or the recommendation of the interviewer.

Well in retrospect I agree. However, at the time I thought he would have figured it out since he knew my name and that I was looking at that medical school. Plus, it seemed like he would have pieced everything together when I talked about Australia. I hope you're right and he doesn't let his preconceived notion of me interfer with his recommendation.
 
skiracer90 said:
Well in retrospect I agree. However, at the time I thought he would have figured it out since he knew my name and that I was looking at that medical school. Plus, it seemed like he would have pieced everything together when I talked about Australia. I hope you're right and he doesn't let his preconceived notion of me interfer with his recommendation.
Well feel free to address the administration and ask for a different interviewer if you are concerned. But let these be two valuable lessons learned:

1. don't mention irrelevant facts on the interview, especially when they are part of a negative history

2. don't ever treat someone in a negative way...not only b/c your past may come back to haunt you but mostly b/c it's extremely insensitive and hurtful
 
Psycho Doctor said:
2. don't ever treat someone in a negative way...not only b/c your past may come back to haunt you but mostly b/c it's extremely insensitive and hurtful

Just to clear the record: I never treated her in a negative way. I just chose to not be friends with her by forming my own group of friends. By keeping clear of her, it allowed me to maintain my sanity and continue being polite to her. It would have resulted in me being unkind to her if I put myself in her presence. So I think I did the appropriate thing by just not putting myself in a situation where bad things could have resulted. Sometimes you don't mesh with everyone. It's the mature people who recognize that and remove themselves from a potentially deletarious situation.
 
skiracer90 said:
Just to clear the record: I never treated her in a negative way. I just chose to not be friends with her by forming my own group of friends. By keeping clear of her, it allowed me to maintain my sanity and continue being polite to her. It would have resulted in me being unkind to her if I put myself in her presence. So I think I did the appropriate thing by just not putting myself in a situation where bad things could have resulted. Sometimes you don't mesh with everyone. It's the mature people who recognize that and remove themselves from a potentially deletarious situation.

ok, fine, but i got the impression from your first post that she wanted to do things with you and you didn't want to have her included. I would have included her once ion awhile so she didn't feel like i was ignoring her. Sometimes good and mature relationships are about compromise and learning to deal with others' negative traits.
 
Psycho Doctor said:
ok, fine, but i got the impression from your first post that she wanted to do things with you and you didn't want to have her included. I would have included her once ion awhile so she didn't feel like i was ignoring her. Sometimes good and mature relationships are about compromise and learning to deal with others' negative traits.


Well I lived with her so when all my roommates did stuff together, of course I was part of that. However, I had my own friends, and thus, usually hung out with them. I don't have to put myself in constant anxiety all the time. I do believe it's better to remove yourself from that kind of situation so that you can actually enjoy your time instead of feeling frustrated constantly. Just my two cents.
 
skiracer90 said:
Well I lived with her so when all my roommates did stuff together, of course I was part of that. However, I had my own friends, and thus, usually hung out with them. I don't have to put myself in constant anxiety all the time. I do believe it's better to remove yourself from that kind of situation so that you can actually enjoy your time instead of feeling frustrated constantly. Just my two cents.

That seems fine. However your inital post implied to me that it was more extreme than that, but whatever, maybe i misinterpreted it. if you did nothing wrong, you shouldn't be sweating it now.
 
Top