what year to get pregnant

[ffpickle]

What is the circle of trust, and why am I in it? I'm scared now...

meet the parents, meet the fockers man...

boy i'd love to get up and spike a volleyball right in kirby's face

---

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[ffpickle]

Oh, well, we've had plenty of off topic threads, but this thread is different. Everyone can have an opinion here, unlike the football or photography threads. You don't have to have said hobby to read or participate.

lol....ya, apparently you don't need much at all in this one....shcpuff

 

[PharmDstudent]

meet the parents, meet the fockers man...

boy i'd love to get up and spike xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

See. That's thread-locking material! Hush, hush.




I like that song in your sig. I'm listening to it right now. Love the lyrics. "White Nikes" (Nikes pronounced like the Brits) is my favorite part.

 

[ffpickle]

See. That's thread-locking material! Hush, hush.




I like that song in your sig. I'm listening to it right now. Love the lyrics. "White Nikes" (Nikes pronounced like the Brits) is my favorite part.

it's all in jest🙄

 

[PharmDstudent]

it's all in jest🙄

Ok.





So anyway...
I bought a new purse (in black/charcoal) for myself yesterday, and I got a deal on it. It wasn't a gift, a bride, a gesture or any of that from a man.

Now, I have a Kathy purse, too, like my girl friends. 😛

 

[IrishHammer]

meet the parents, meet the fockers man...

boy i'd love to get up and spike a volleyball right in kirby's face

I've seen the movies, I just don't understand how it applied.

Spike a volleyball? That seems so very mean, unless your aim is to see her Kirby impression.

 

[ffpickle]

I've seen the movies, I just don't understand how it applied.

Spike a volleyball? That seems so very mean, unless your aim is to see her Kirby impression.

only if the impression looks like this...

http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=8746

 

[WVUPharm2007]

See, this is what I mean...women want to change the culture so that they can have jobs...be equal to men...but the "we want to have our cake and eat it, too" school of feminism is in full effect...they STILL think its perfectly fine that their men pay for everything, too. This is exactly the perfect example of what I've been talking about.

I wouldn't put up with any of you. I don't need no leech.

 

[pharmacyanalyst]

I can't believe someone would use IQ as a basis for mating. What is that? eHarmony for Nerds? Some girls just need to get over themselves. If a guy is going to date someone with all these "rules and requirements", it's not because he respects you or wants to hear what in the hell you are rambling about. I'm pretty sure you must have something freaky going on... not that freaky is a bad thing. I just pair my freak with a toned down persona.

Those posts made me tired- now I need a nap.

ETA: OP don't get pregnant in Pharmacy School. Geesh.

 

[UTCowboy]

See, this is what I mean...women want to change the culture so that they can have jobs...be equal to men...but the "we want to have our cake and eat it, too" school of feminism is in full effect...they STILL think its perfectly fine that their men pay for everything, too. This is exactly the perfect example of what I've been talking about.

I wouldn't put up with any of you. I don't need no leech.

Right on.

It's hypocrisy at its best. The feminist movement is about taking the gender out of everyday life but only if it favors women. If it doesn't, they have the free will to play the "I'm old-fashioned" card to get the men to pay for everything.

 

[UTCowboy]

WE'RE NOT GOLD DIGGERS YOU DUMB ****. I had a streak of 4 millionaire potentials bfs before my current bf (not a millionaire), I could've had it if money was all I wanted.

Are you this bitchy in real life too? Take a midol for heaven's sake.

HAHAHA YEA you've seen my photo you ****ing tart. My FB is private and I'm not friends with anybody from Texas and my fb photo is a group of girls so which one am I you lying ashsole. I don't use the glamor shot on my fb profile anymore so I don't get anymore friend requests from losers like you. I just tried to search for SHC on Mercer, their fb group is closed. Honestly, I BET you you're a fugly little bítch. Don't take your rejected ass hurt feelings out on us.

You know when something is true when someone has to resort to name calling. LMAO, and for your information, your profile picture is visible to EVERYONE even if your profile is private GENIUS. The reason why I looked was because I wanted to see why you two had such big ego's.

My boyfriend of 3½ years has an IQ of 150. 🙂 I don't need luck, I already found him. Our myers-briggs personalities are considered perfect for each other. He fits the "top 50 qualities of my perfect man list" that I created in high school when I was even more optimistic than now. You can go suck it loser.

No thanks, you're not pretty enough.

 

[njac]

I can't believe someone would use IQ as a basis for mating. What is that? eHarmony for Nerds?

I didn't have any specific IQ requirements, but I wanted to date someone smarter than myself.

My boyfriend is freaking brilliant and I love it. I do have to work hard to make sure things don't make me feel stupid, just challenged.

 

[VancTheTank]

.

 

[VancTheTank]

.

 

[PharmacistVoice]

I would recommend the morning after pill if nobody else has.

 

[SpirivaSunrise]

I didn't have any specific IQ requirements, but I wanted to date someone smarter than myself.

My boyfriend is freaking brilliant and I love it. I do have to work hard to make sure things don't make me feel stupid, just challenged.

Agreed. There's nothing I find more attractive than a man who a) stimulates me intellectually and b) makes me laugh. It's that simple...

 

[Kirbypuff]

This had me thinking about the hip-hop internet love song, but this song's even BETTER! HAHAHA! LOL!

[YOUTUBE]4gSJpeZslqo[/YOUTUBE]

HAHHAhaha That video is classic.

Actually, this is exactly what I sent:

u got msn messenger?
give me ur address......i'll add u....

u can see how ugly or not i am
__________________
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night,
He's all alone through the day and night
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night
Day and night

Just thought since you've been obsessed with my looks in a number of posts, you may want to see what you are "shooting down" first 😉

UM. You asked me to chat on MSN to send me "your" picture. Of course I said no. Then you say this:

average on both accounts and i still wouldn't touch you with a 20 foot pole.

RIGHT. You're so much better than me, because I just denied your request to talk on MSN. When I responded, I tried to be nice and told you that I don't have MSN. I wouldn't talk about it in public, but if you're going to then post in public that you're too good for me, then obviously I'm going to have to blow up your spot.

Oh, and now you want to hit me in the face with a volleyball. Good luck with girls in the future. 👍

 

[Kirbypuff]

Are you this bitchy in real life too? Take a midol for heaven's sake.

If I met you in person, you would probably be kissing my ass because then you would actually know what I look like. So I probably wouldn't have to be this nasty.

You know when something is true when someone has to resort to name calling. LMAO, and for your information, your profile picture is visible to EVERYONE even if your profile is private GENIUS. The reason why I looked was because I wanted to see why you two had such big ego's.

Honestly, stop trying to make me want to post my picture on SDN. You and everyone else knows you didn't see my fb picture. Can you see my face on my avatar? Same size picture on my fb. And it's a group picture.

No thanks, you're not pretty enough.

You are such a tool. lol.

 

[Kirbypuff]

I would recommend the morning after pill if nobody else has.

I think we're way beyond plan B here. lol.

 

[Kirbypuff]

Interesting point. My first impression was that the two girls are clearly insane. Then they mentioned a few of their similarities and it seemed so improbable that not one, but two such people exist.

So then I started to think about cultural influences on their points-of-view. Their perspectives may be very common within their own culture, but seem foreign to me because, well, they are foreign to me. Regardless of how much back and forth takes place, the underlying cultural preconceptions on either side of this discussion aren't going to change. That doesn't make one side right or wrong, just fundamentally different. Logically incompatible.

I think affluence also qualifies as a "culture" in this regard.

For instance, if I say "$640/month is a lot of money to spend on dates" and you say "no it isn't"...then what? Both are relative assements. A majority of people on the forum seem to have the "it's a lot of money" pov, hence the irritation.

Hooray! You understand ! 🙂 I think that makes this 8 page thread worth while.

Also, what's with the continued random bashing of ugly people? As in "well, if you feel that way you must be ugly!" Both of the girls mentioned they do not consider looks a top priority in their eventual husbands, but yet it has become the default slam. I don't know many ugly people, but I don't think they just sit alone in their ugly homes, thinking ugly things, crying ugly tears, waiting for a pretty person to call so they can go on a dutch date.

About the ugly bashing, there's more to it than what it seems like just salting wounds and kicking people who are on the floor. As I said before, girls are very complicated. When I call someone "ugly" it's beyond looks. It is the insult targeted at an individual who is disgruntled towards me without justification in my perspective. And it's a joke when I say, "oh you don't agree 100% with all of my kookie ideas? you must be ugly." Seriously, I don't care about looks. I know that looks do affect people more than they care to accept and I think the psychology behind it goes beyond the happy feeling you get when you see someone attractive in your eyes. An attractive person has qualities that would benefit you if you were to be in partnership or friendship with that person. Which I think is why people look less attractive when they frown, because they are not going to be beneficial to those they interact with when they are disgruntled. Guys "look" better to girls when they give gifts/do nice things. If my gf tells me her bf drove all the way wherever to see her, I go , "oooh he's so dreamy 😍" Extra attractive points. If I say so and so is "ugly" I'm also saying that so and so is NOT helping me, and they're NOT making me feel good. 😛

 

[ffpickle]

No idea why I feel compelled to respond to you.

HAHHAhaha That video is classic.



UM. You asked me to chat on MSN to send me "your" picture. Of course I said no. Then you say this:

I posted exactly what I sent. Exactly. Be precise. Look at the words written, not just what you think has been said in your head. No need for you to paraphrase. I didn't use the word chat, send, picture, etc. You were simply talking about my looks numerous times. So I thought you may want to have a clue about what you're saying before saying it....but then again, I guess I was giving you too much credit. You don't like to be informed before saying something, you prefer to talk out of your ass.

RIGHT. You're so much better than me, because I just denied your request to talk on MSN. When I responded, I tried to be nice and told you that I don't have MSN. I wouldn't talk about it in public, but if you're going to then post in public that you're too good for me, then obviously I'm going to have to blow up your spot.

Uhhh,...actually you would. In fact, you brought it up first. I would tell you to go back and read the thread but I sense that it's probably useless in your case. What really happened/happens doesn't seem to matter.

Oh, and now you want to hit me in the face with a volleyball. Good luck with girls in the future. 👍

hahahaah lol.... yep

 

[PharmDstudent]

ugly

I think looks are more important the younger you are. As I've aged, I care less about looks overall and more about specific traits.

This is my type, in terms of physical attributes:
1. not bald
2. pleasant-smelling, clean, with proper hygiene
3. not obese (because I need to be more important than your next meal)
4. tall, taller, tallish (the men in my family are tall; it's the Lithuanian blood)
5. non-smoker

Honestly, men are not supposed to be aesthetically "pretty", so the degree of cuteness or whatever is not all that important.


Now, with that said, I find lifestyle, mannerisms, and social skills much more important. I like sweet, smooth, friendly, playful guys. Jerks are a huge turn-off; I can protect myself, so thanks but no thanks for acting like a tough, mean ***hole.

 

[ffpickle]

Interesting point. My first impression was that the two girls are clearly insane. Then they mentioned a few of their similarities and it seemed so improbable that not one, but two such people exist.

So then I started to think about cultural influences on their points-of-view. Their perspectives may be very common within their own culture, but seem foreign to me because, well, they are foreign to me. Regardless of how much back and forth takes place, the underlying cultural preconceptions on either side of this discussion aren't going to change. That doesn't make one side right or wrong, just fundamentally different. Logically incompatible.

I think affluence also qualifies as a "culture" in this regard.

For instance, if I say "$640/month is a lot of money to spend on dates" and you say "no it isn't"...then what? Both are relative assements. A majority of people on the forum seem to have the "it's a lot of money" pov, hence the irritation.

Also, what's with the continued random bashing of ugly people? As in "well, if you feel that way you must be ugly!" Both of the girls mentioned they do not consider looks a top priority in their eventual husbands, but yet it has become the default slam. I don't know many ugly people, but I don't think they just sit alone in their ugly homes, thinking ugly things, crying ugly tears, waiting for a pretty person to call so they can go on a dutch date.

You're being far to generous here.

I'm all about cultural sensitivity, but sheer ignorance, stupidity, greed, and (whatever the word is for the exact opposite of of misogyny) are not cultural mores I will defend.

 

[ffpickle]

See, this is what I mean...women want to change the culture so that they can have jobs...be equal to men...but the "we want to have our cake and eat it, too" school of feminism is in full effect...they STILL think its perfectly fine that their men pay for everything, too. This is exactly the perfect example of what I've been talking about.

I wouldn't put up with any of you. I don't need no leech.

Meh, doesn't change my opinion. I'm unwaveringly in favor of advancing women's rights, including the right to be obnoxious, nag, say stupid things, and amuse themselves by completely fabricating things.

Progress is good.

 

[Kirbypuff]

I posted exactly what I sent. Exactly. Be precise. Look at the words written, not just what you think has been said in your head. No need for you to paraphrase. I didn't use the word chat, send, picture, etc. You were simply talking about my looks numerous times. So I thought you may want to have a clue about what you're saying before saying it....but then again, I guess I was giving you too much credit. You don't like to be informed before saying something, you prefer to talk out of your ass.

Blame it on the iNtuition. (eNfj). I will read into your actions. But even if you just wanted to send me your picture, that's still way too personal for me. Like I told you, the bf would not be too happy about me receiving pics from a stranger online. And the fact that you bashed me immediately after I declined your request, made it seem to me like you were reacting to it. It seemed funny because using MSN (a chatting interface) to send a picture (which you could just easily show me on any website, including SDN) reduces the impersonality that I like about a forum. The truth is, you could've easily asked me if I wanted to see your picture on the forum, but instead you sent me a private msg to ask me to use an interface that is more commonly used between friends than strangers. You my friend are a stranger.

Also, I was saying "Oh you care about inner beauty? You must be ugly" as a joke. You can't possibly think that anyone actually has that little sense to take that statement as literal logic. I do love to talk out of my ass. Plus, I still think you were going to send me a photo of someone else to conceal your ugliness. 🙂 ..... i'm KIDDING.

 

[PharmDstudent]

See, this is what I mean...women want to change the culture so that they can have jobs...be equal to men...but the "we want to have our cake and eat it, too" school of feminism is in full effect...they STILL think its perfectly fine that their men pay for everything, too. This is exactly the perfect example of what I've been talking about.

I wouldn't put up with any of you. I don't need no leech.

Ok. Let me straighten this out.

Some women, and perhaps a significant portion of society, believe that it is unbecoming for a woman to have to pay for a date. (SO, the only other option is for the man to pay, because traditionally, only 2 people go on a date at a time.)
This viewpoint is very strong in the South, and if a man were to not offer (at least offer) to pay for me, then I might be offended... but only because of the culture down here.
I do not require or expect him to pay for everything or anything (on occasion), because I'm an independent adult and not out to get "somethin' for nothin'" -- which goes against the cultural grain in terms of who should pay, etc.

 

[Kirbypuff]

Ok. Let me straighten this out.

Some women, and perhaps a significant portion of society, believe that it is unbecoming for a woman to have to pay for a date. (SO, the only other option is for the man to pay, because traditionally, only 2 people go on a date at a time.)
This viewpoint is very strong in the South, and if a man were to not offer (at least offer) to pay for me, then I might be offended... but only because of the culture down here.
I do not require or expect him to pay for everything or anything (on occasion), because I'm an independent adult and not out to get "somethin' for nothin'" -- which goes against the cultural grain in terms of who should
pay, etc.

OMG.. this just reminded me.. when I was seeing this guy from California, and I had luggage that I needed to put into my friend's car, I asked him to carry the luggage for me, and he said he felt like a mule. I think he was kidding, but in that moment, all I heard was, "Why are you making me carry your sh.t?"

Screw paying for dinner/going dutch, because that involves $$ and too many assumptions about the girls' motives. What do you guys think about a guy carry a girl's heavy luggage for her?

 

[ffpickle]

Blame it on the iNtuition. (eNfj). I will read into your actions. But even if you just wanted to send me your picture, that's still way too personal for me. Like I told you, the bf would not be too happy about me receiving pics from a stranger online. And the fact that you bashed me immediately after I declined your request, made it seem to me like you were reacting to it. It seemed funny because using MSN (a chatting interface) to send a picture (which you could just easily show me on any website, including SDN) reduces the impersonality that I like about a forum. The truth is, you could've easily asked me if I wanted to see your picture on the forum, but instead you sent me a private msg to ask me to use an interface that is more commonly used between friends than strangers. You my friend are a stranger.

Also, I was saying "Oh you care about inner beauty? You must be ugly" as a joke. You can't possibly think that anyone actually has that little sense to take that statement as literal logic. I do love to talk out of my ass. Plus, I still think you were going to send me a photo of someone else to conceal your ugliness. 🙂 ..... i'm KIDDING.

Don't Blame it on intuition........Blame it on the boogie....

I guess by "read into your actions," you mean "make things up."

Well let's set the record straight on the bashing. You made up a saying that I've never heard of. It involved ugly women and McDonalds. I merely pointed out that there is such thing as inner ugliness, after which you called me ugly. After that, I simply said that I was confident enough in my looks to not pay for a woman on a date. Do you notice how to this point you have "bashed" me while I've done nothing of the sort to you? Great.

You then responded that I am ugly *and* poor. Being an objectivist, I clarified the record by saying I was actually average on both fronts and at the same time I wouldn't touch you with a 20 foot pole (as an aside, I probably should have said you are right about the poor thing....I *am* a poor student). This comment was my response to the ugliness you continue to show....not because I am sad you won't be my cyberbuddy. Don't flatter yourself. *Immediately after posting this comment*, I thought I would offer you some visual evidence via webcam so you can formulate an informed opinion. I could have offered this on the public forum, true, but I figured that it would be better to exchange emails privately....so that you could see for yourself. I suppose ignorance is bliss. I guess I rained on your bullying parade then because you decided to post it in the public forum, which I have no problem with...except that you paraphrased it to suit your comedic purpose. So I simply pasted it word for word....then you decided to spin all of this again, after which I tried to set the record straight...again. And now again. You just never seem to learn though.

 

[ffpickle]

Ok. Let me straighten this out.

Some women, and perhaps a significant portion of society, believe that it is unbecoming for a woman to have to pay for a date. (SO, the only other option is for the man to pay, because traditionally, only 2 people go on a date at a time.)
This viewpoint is very strong in the South, and if a man were to not offer (at least offer) to pay for me, then I might be offended... but only because of the culture down here.
I do not require or expect him to pay for everything or anything (on occasion), because I'm an independent adult and not out to get "somethin' for nothin'" -- which goes against the cultural grain in terms of who should pay, etc.

Offer first time, yes. Second time, probably. Special occasion, yes. Even insist.

Offer the 10th time? No. By then, the dynamics change, particularly when we're talking about two students. For me, all of this goes out the window once there is marriage. Then, there is no "you," "I," etc.

 

[ffpickle]

OMG.. this just reminded me.. when I was seeing this guy from California, and I had luggage that I needed to put into my friend's car, I asked him to carry the luggage for me, and he said he felt like a mule. I think he was kidding, but in that moment, all I heard was, "Why are you making me carry your sh.t?"

Screw paying for dinner/going dutch, because that involves $$ and too many assumptions about the girls' motives. What do you guys think about a guy carry a girl's heavy luggage for her?

👍

 

[Kirbypuff]

Don't Blame it on intuition........Blame it on the boogie....

I guess by "read into your actions," you mean "make things up."

Well let's set the record straight on the bashing. You made up a saying that I've never heard of. It involved ugly women and McDonalds. I merely pointed out that there is such thing as inner ugliness, after which you called me ugly. After that, I simply said that I was confident enough in my looks to not pay for a woman on a date. Do you notice how to this point you have "bashed" me while I've done nothing of the sort to you? Great.

You then responded that I am ugly *and* poor. Being an objectivist, I clarified the record by saying I was actually average on both fronts and at the same time I wouldn't touch you with a 20 foot pole. This comment was my response to the ugliness you continue to show....not because I am sad you won't be my cyberbuddy. Don't flatter yourself. *Immediately after posting this comment*, I thought I would offer you some visual evidence via webcam so you can formulate an informed opinion. I could have offered this on the public forum, true, but I figured that it would be better to exchange emails privately....so that you could see for yourself. I suppose ignorance is bliss. I guess I rained on your bullying parade then because you decided to post it in the public forum, which I have no problem with...except that you paraphrased it to suit your comedic purpose. So I simply pasted it word for word....then you decided to spin all of this again, after which I tried to set the record straight...again. And now again. You just never seem to learn though.

HAHA I call bullsh.t. You PM'd me at 3:34AM, I declined you at 3:36AM, and you posted on the forum you wouldn't touch me with pole at 3:38AM. Don't try to flip it. There are timestamps. 🙄

 

[ffpickle]

HAHA I call bullsh.t. You PM'd me at 11:34PM, I declined you at 11:36PM, and you posted on the forum you wouldn't touch me with pole at 11:38PM. Don't try to flip it. There are timestamps. 🙄

Either way, it was done all within the same timeframe, without the premeditation you suggest, which even if true, posts nothing.

Seriously....someone needs to set me up for a spike

 

[Kirbypuff]

Either way, it was done all within the same timeframe, without the premeditation you suggest, which even if true, posts nothing.

Seriously....someone needs to set me up for a spike

I guess, even tho the order of the time supports my point, the time intervals were rather short. I mean, in like 2 minutes, you might be looking at something else online. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you were busy posting your pole comment as I was typing my response to your pm 🙄

Anyways, why would I want to see your pic? 😵 I said looks don't really mean much to me.

 

[FarscapeGirl]

OMG.. this just reminded me.. when I was seeing this guy from California, and I had luggage that I needed to put into my friend's car, I asked him to carry the luggage for me, and he said he felt like a mule. I think he was kidding, but in that moment, all I heard was, "Why are you making me carry your sh.t?"

Screw paying for dinner/going dutch, because that involves $$ and too many assumptions about the girls' motives. What do you guys think about a guy carry a girl's heavy luggage for her?

If the girl packs heavy luggage, she should help carry it. The guy can help, but she better have more than her $1500 purse on her arm.

 

[johnep34]

From a distance, you girls are beginning to look like Scarlett O'hara. Presume you are all looking for a Rhett Butler type.
johnep

 

[FarscapeGirl]

I respect that Asian culture is different from mine. I've dated several Asian men and half-Asian men throughout college. However, most of them realized they were part of the blended American culture and so adapted accordingly. While these guys did offer and usually paid for the first date, after that, we split everything. And I never assumed a guy was going to pay for the honor of spending time with me, and I would insist even on a first date on at least paying the tip. It's not like I'm poor. I can still buy cute outfits and pay for dinner.

SHC1984 and Kirbypuff, I wouldn't blame your ideas on your Asian culture. I'm not Asian, Jewish, or Indian. That being said, my grandma helped my dad a lot, and my dad has helped me a lot. But both my dad and I took care of my grandmother as much as we could, and I am there to help my dad when I can now. Just like he does for me.

You both are coming across as very spoiled. Especially the comments about expensive purses, parents still paying lots of your expenses now that you're 25 with jobs of your own, and the demand that men pay for the right to be in your company.

I understand that people spoil their children, but they need to make sure the kids get perspective and learn to grow up eventually and not bail them out every time they make a mistake. I myself grew up with divorced parents. My mother was pretty hard off, and my dad wasn't. As an only child, my dad did spoil me a bit but would let me know if I was expecting more than I should. He also expected me to work hard in school, help around the house, and work during the summers. Now, I appreciate everything he ever did for me. And as soon as I had a real job, at the age of 22, I slowly started paying for all my own things. Not that he still doesn't help me out, but I help him out every once in awhile, too.

From my experience with my mom, and because my dad made sure I appreciated that he was doing okay, I know what it's like to not have a lot of money and would never tell someone that $640 is an acceptable price to pay to go on eight dates with a girl.

SHC1984 and Kirbypuff, it's funny that you bring up being Asian as an explanation for your actions, yet that's stereotyping Asians (and Jewish people, for that matter). And you can't seem to understand the view that men shouldn't always pay for every date, yet you expect us to understand yours.

I also wouldn't call people ugly, call them modified swear words, or make private messages public as a way to try and make someone look bad. But that's just me.

 

[psi1989]

I respect that Asian culture is different from mine. I've dated several Asian men and half-Asian men throughout college. However, most of them realized they were part of the blended American culture and so adapted accordingly. While these guys did offer and usually paid for the first date, after that, we split everything. And I never assumed a guy was going to pay for the honor of spending time with me, and I would insist even on a first date on at least paying the tip. It's not like I'm poor. I can still buy cute outfits and pay for dinner.

SHC1984 and Kirbypuff, I wouldn't blame your ideas on your Asian culture. I'm not Asian, Jewish, or Indian. That being said, my grandma helped my dad a lot, and my dad has helped me a lot. But both my dad and I took care of my grandmother as much as we could, and I am there to help my dad when I can now. Just like he does for me.

You both are coming across as very spoiled. Especially the comments about expensive purses, parents still paying lots of your expenses now that you're 25 with jobs of your own, and the demand that men pay for the right to be in your company.

I understand that people spoil their children, but they need to make sure the kids get perspective and learn to grow up eventually and not bail them out every time they make a mistake. I myself grew up with divorced parents. My mother was pretty hard off, and my dad wasn't. As an only child, my dad did spoil me a bit but would let me know if I was expecting more than I should. He also expected me to work hard in school, help around the house, and work during the summers. Now, I appreciate everything he ever did for me. And as soon as I had a real job, at the age of 22, I slowly started paying for all my own things. Not that he still doesn't help me out, but I help him out every once in awhile, too.

From my experience with my mom, and because my dad made sure I appreciated that he was doing okay, I know what it's like to not have a lot of money and would never tell someone that $640 is an acceptable price to pay to go on eight dates with a girl.

SHC1984 and Kirbypuff, it's funny that you bring up being Asian as an explanation for your actions, yet that's stereotyping Asians (and Jewish people, for that matter). And you can't seem to understand the view that men shouldn't always pay for every date, yet you expect us to understand yours.

I also wouldn't call people ugly, call them modified swear words, or make private messages public as a way to try and make someone look bad. But that's just me.

+1 ..This is coming from someone who is asian and a female (yes, that's right a female). There are actually decent asian females out there who aren't all about bragging about how much their stupid LV bag costs and how much their parents have. 🙂

 

[Transformer]

I don't know FarscapeGirl, but I like how she thinks and she sounds like a keeper to me. Her bf or husband is very very lucky.



What year to get pregnant?

When you and your spouse/significant other are ready to be responsible parents and work together through all the good and hard times. 🙂

 

[Kirbypuff]

You both are coming across as very spoiled. Especially the comments about expensive purses, parents still paying lots of your expenses now that you're 25 with jobs of your own, and the demand that men pay for the right to be in your company.

I think how "spoiled" someone is has to do with the ratio of how wealthy one's parents are and how much their parents give them. If you have a billionaire father who gives you $10K to help you pay for a car, is that spoiled?

My parents paying for my cell phone benefits THEM more than me. Family plan saves money. Plus, if I were to go on my own, I wouldn't be able to afford Verizon, and they'd have to pay more money to talk to me, so might as well keep me on the their plan and save me the trouble.

My parents have spare bedrooms in the house and they have a spare car. So I use them. They're not going out of their way to buy me a new apartment or buy me a new car. I'm lucky, but I'm not spoiled. As I said before, my dad would never buy me a LV bag. 🙄 And I remember SHC said she buys her own LV bags and she makes money off of investing and reselling them. How is that spoiled? I think she's smart.

And I never demand anyone to pay for me. I just happen to be in a relationship where the bf makes more money than I do. It's not like if he loses his job, I'm going to leave him. Perhaps then, I would have to pay for our dates, but that would make him more unhappy than me.

If you think you're taking the high road by insisting on splitting all your dating expenses, then good for you. Please don't judge me.

I understand that people spoil their children, but they need to make sure the kids get perspective and learn to grow up eventually and not bail them out every time they make a mistake. I myself grew up with divorced parents. My mother was pretty hard off, and my dad wasn't. As an only child, my dad did spoil me a bit but would let me know if I was expecting more than I should. He also expected me to work hard in school, help around the house, and work during the summers. Now, I appreciate everything he ever did for me. And as soon as I had a real job, at the age of 22, I slowly started paying for all my own things. Not that he still doesn't help me out, but I help him out every once in awhile, too.

I think your parents did a wonderful job raising you. I also think my parents did too. When I was 18, my parents got me a credit card with a $500 limit per month, which they would pay for. This was their plan to help me build credit so that I can have an easier time taking out loans for a house in the future. But slowly, I started to learn to curb my expenses and take pride in paying for my bills. I haven't needed their help for over 2 years now (except for maybe one fiasco). I pay for my CC, student loans, car insurance, and I pay for my grandparents cable bill and their electric. So my parents taught me how to pay for my bills, take care of my grandparents, and have blemish free credit history.

From my experience with my mom, and because my dad made sure I appreciated that he was doing okay, I know what it's like to not have a lot of money and would never tell someone that $640 is an acceptable price to pay to go on eight dates with a girl.

Maybe $640 is a lot for some people (it is for me too), but maybe some people have bigger paychecks. If a guy would spend $640 on himself anyway, then I think it's reasonably to spend that with a girlfriend. But I guess you're saying that most people don't have $640 to spare.

If $640 is the amount spent on both the guy and the girl, I think that's close to how much my bf spends on us on some months. If he wants to see cirque du soleil or eat at Morimoto, he's not going to want to go by himself so he takes his favorite person along: Me!🙂 I don't think he would feel right to ask me to pay for that half of that.

SHC1984 and Kirbypuff, it's funny that you bring up being Asian as an explanation for your actions, yet that's stereotyping Asians (and Jewish people, for that matter). And you can't seem to understand the view that men shouldn't always pay for every date, yet you expect us to understand yours.

I brought it up, not SHC. Yes, I was stereotyping Asians and Jews. This is 2009, we're hundreds of years behind becoming an amalgamated nation. Stereotypes are helpful in the event that you meet someone who behaves a certain way, you don't have to think they're being rude, you can understand that perhaps in their culture they're being normal.

I understand your point of view now. Before, when I was still thinking that guys always paying is the social norm, I thought, wow, the girl must be really desperate to pay for something she shouldn't have to.

I also wouldn't call people ugly, call them modified swear words, or make private messages public as a way to try and make someone look bad. But that's just me.

I just thought he was being two-faced saying one thing on the post and saying something else in private. You must feel really good about yourself. Good for you. But perhaps you need to get off your high horse, we're all the same.

 

[Kirbypuff]

+1 ..This is coming from someone who is asian and a female (yes, that's right a female). There are actually decent asian females out there who aren't all about bragging about how much their stupid LV bag costs and how much their parents have. 🙂

Oh wow, I thought you were a male cus of your sn. haha, I remember why you don't like SHC. But eh, she's not so bad. =)

Anyways, do you go dutch on your dates? I remember when I was 19/20, I started to expect the guys to pay. Only like in hs, I wanted to split, but that's because in hs, we're all poor. lol.

 

[Kirbypuff]

From a distance, you girls are beginning to look like Scarlett O'hara. Presume you are all looking for a Rhett Butler type.
johnep

Scarlett O'hara would actually be better depicted as the women who go dutch. Scarlett became a shrewed business woman in that movie who did things for herself.

You mean SHC and I are starting to look like Melanie from that movie? The one whose husband Scarlett tries to seduce? We're looking for an Ashley type.

 

[psi1989]

Oh wow, I thought you were a male cus of your sn. haha, I remember why you don't like SHC. But eh, she's not so bad. =)

Anyways, do you go dutch on your dates? I remember when I was 19/20, I started to expect the guys to pay. Only like in hs, I wanted to split, but that's because in hs, we're all poor. lol.

We actually take turns paying..one meal he'll cover and the next time I offer. I feel that is the fair thing to do. My fiance is a federal agent so he makes a decent living but I don't like the idea of him paying for my food all the time. He does pay our rent and help put me through my undergrad, so offering to pay every once in a while is not too much (even though he disagrees sometimes cause he knows I'm a student and don't have much income).

I think it really depends on the person and what point they are in their relationship. Earlier in the thread someone mentioned marriage and how things change to "we" as opposed to "me." If a person is still in the "me" thinking frame then of course they will be selfish or not care too much about who's carrying the relationship financially. When you get closer to the marriage stage, the dynamics will hopefully have changed.

 

[FarscapeGirl]

I don't know FarscapeGirl, but I like how she thinks and she sounds like a keeper to me. Her bf or husband is very very lucky.



What year to get pregnant?

When you and your spouse/significant other are ready to be responsible parents and work together through all the good and hard times. 🙂

Thanks, Transformer.

One other thing about what year to get pregnant. If you want to have kids, keep your mind open about when to have them. If you're in year 1 and are planning to have them in year 4, wait until you get closer to that year to really decide. You never know how life is going to work.

 

[FarscapeGirl]

I think how "spoiled" someone is has to do with the ratio of how wealthy one's parents are and how much their parents give them. If you have a billionaire father who gives you $10K to help you pay for a car, is that spoiled?

My parents paying for my cell phone benefits THEM more than me. Family plan saves money. Plus, if I were to go on my own, I wouldn't be able to afford Verizon, and they'd have to pay more money to talk to me, so might as well keep me on the their plan and save me the trouble.

My parents have spare bedrooms in the house and they have a spare car. So I use them. They're not going out of their way to buy me a new apartment or buy me a new car. I'm lucky, but I'm not spoiled. As I said before, my dad would never buy me a LV bag. 🙄 And I remember SHC said she buys her own LV bags and she makes money off of investing and reselling them. How is that spoiled? I think she's smart.

And I never demand anyone to pay for me. I just happen to be in a relationship where the bf makes more money than I do. It's not like if he loses his job, I'm going to leave him. Perhaps then, I would have to pay for our dates, but that would make him more unhappy than me.

If you think you're taking the high road by insisting on splitting all your dating expenses, then good for you. Please don't judge me.


I think your parents did a wonderful job raising you. I also think my parents did too. When I was 18, my parents got me a credit card with a $500 limit per month, which they would pay for. This was their plan to help me build credit so that I can have an easier time taking out loans for a house in the future. But slowly, I started to learn to curb my expenses and take pride in paying for my bills. I haven't needed their help for over 2 years now (except for maybe one fiasco). I pay for my CC, student loans, car insurance, and I pay for my grandparents cable bill and their electric. So my parents taught me how to pay for my bills, take care of my grandparents, and have blemish free credit history.


Maybe $640 is a lot for some people (it is for me too), but maybe some people have bigger paychecks. If a guy would spend $640 on himself anyway, then I think it's reasonably to spend that with a girlfriend. But I guess you're saying that most people don't have $640 to spare.

If $640 is the amount spent on both the guy and the girl, I think that's close to how much my bf spends on us on some months. If he wants to see cirque du soleil or eat at Morimoto, he's not going to want to go by himself so he takes his favorite person along: Me!🙂 I don't think he would feel right to ask me to pay for that half of that.

I brought it up, not SHC. Yes, I was stereotyping Asians and Jews. This is 2009, we're hundreds of years behind becoming an amalgamated nation. Stereotypes are helpful in the event that you meet someone who behaves a certain way, you don't have to think they're being rude, you can understand that perhaps in their culture they're being normal.

I understand your point of view now. Before, when I was still thinking that guys always paying is the social norm, I thought, wow, the girl must be really desperate to pay for something she shouldn't have to.

I just thought he was being two-faced saying one thing on the post and saying something else in private. You must feel really good about yourself. Good for you. But perhaps you need to get off your high horse, we're all the same.

I wasn't trying to show that I am any better than you. My last paragraph was a bit snarky; after a long day, I can get annoyed and frustrated on the internet just like anyone else. And I do apologize for getting you and SHC1984 mixed up; after 8 pages, not to count the other pregnancy thread, it's hard to keep the two of you straight with who said what (and after SHC changed her avatar, it got even more confusing). That's why I just said the same thing to the both of you.

With my post, I was trying to somewhat politely but firmly show that some of the things both of you have been saying can be taken wrong by people and can make them feel insulted. This is the internet, but when so many of us are on it continuously, it's also a community. And I know we still stereotype people, but if each one of us works against our stereotypes, we can start to move beyond them. In fact, I think it's the ways we don't fit into our stereotypical roles that make us interesting and fun people.

I'm glad after all this we both can see each other's view points about whether the guy should pay for dates. We both agree it's sometimes about culture/how one was raised (I did have one bf and one guy friend who always insisted on paying for everything, and I had to be a bit creative to try and pay before they noticed!). It can also be about who has more money (I will say the guy's a jerk if he does make significantly more money than his girlfriend and insists on splitting everything exactly half, especially if he wants to do things that are out of her price range). As long as the two people dating agree on whatever system works for them, it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

 

[Kirbypuff]

We actually take turns paying..one meal he'll cover and the next time I offer. I feel that is the fair thing to do. My fiance is a federal agent so he makes a decent living but I don't like the idea of him paying for my food all the time. He does pay our rent and help put me through my undergrad, so offering to pay every once in a while is not too much (even though he disagrees sometimes cause he knows I'm a student and don't have much income).

I think it really depends on the person and what point they are in their relationship. Earlier in the thread someone mentioned marriage and how things change to "we" as opposed to "me." If a person is still in the "me" thinking frame then of course they will be selfish or not care too much about who's carrying the relationship financially. When you get closer to the marriage stage, the dynamics will hopefully have changed.

Dayem girl, your dude pays for your schooling?? You must be hot. 😀 (Here I go again with the ugly/hot jokes) Hell, screw dinner, I'll pay for all the dinners if he's paying for my rent and student loans lol.

Once my bf and I get married, we agreed that I'm controlling all the finances. Even so, he's going to "pay" for the outings. 🙄 It feeds his ego.

 

[Kirbypuff]

I wasn't trying to show that I am any better than you. My last paragraph was a bit snarky; after a long day, I can get annoyed and frustrated on the internet just like anyone else. And I do apologize for getting you and SHC1984 mixed up; after 8 pages, not to count the other pregnancy thread, it's hard to keep the two of you straight with who said what (and after SHC changed her avatar, it got even more confusing). That's why I just said the same thing to the both of you.

With my post, I was trying to somewhat politely but firmly show that some of the things both of you have been saying can be taken wrong by people and can make them feel insulted. This is the internet, but when so many of us are on it continuously, it's also a community. And I know we still stereotype people, but if each one of us works against our stereotypes, we can start to move beyond them. In fact, I think it's the ways we don't fit into our stereotypical roles that make us interesting and fun people.

I'm glad after all this we both can see each other's view points about whether the guy should pay for dates. We both agree it's sometimes about culture/how one was raised (I did have one bf and one guy friend who always insisted on paying for everything, and I had to be a bit creative to try and pay before they noticed!). It can also be about who has more money (I will say the guy's a jerk if he does make significantly more money than his girlfriend and insists on splitting everything exactly half, especially if he wants to do things that are out of her price range). As long as the two people dating agree on whatever system works for them, it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

Yep, I'm glad we agree. =)

And you're right that this is a community and I'm glad that you did point out that somethings can be insulting to people. Oh and TRUST me I know what you mean by being cranky on the internet. I find my posts to be most offensive after 1AM.

 

[xiphoid2010]

Man, this is why I don't come to this board often. Too many people here are just trying to show off or defend their e-penis and e-vagina, sound off as jerks and gold-diggers online when they wouldn't dare say it real life. Seriously, is this the quality level of people in this profession?

 

[StaviZFingerZ]

Man, this is why I don't come to this board often. Too many people here are just trying to show off or defend their e-penis and e-vagina, sound off as jerks and gold-diggers online when they wouldn't dare say it real life. Seriously, is this the quality level of people in this profession?

Try a mirror...

 

[SHC1984]

I like you more already.🙂 I thought I was unspoiled!! My dad wouldn't get me a car that I couldn't pay the car insurance for (Yes, I pay for my own insurance... but maybe that helped me stay accident free for 5 years) and I wanted a 3-series, but I got my mom's used modest car instead because then I can afford the insurance. OOO you were a hooter's girl! You're definitely hot. 😉

I like you as well. 😍 If you wanna be friends on facebook PM me. 🙂
My parents pay for my insurance still but I pay for the gas and the car minus 14K. They pay for my cellphone bill as well b/c a family plan is a lot cheaper! 3-series? I don't like BMW. I prefer Lexus or Benz, I almost got the Benz, but then decided the Lexus was a lot better on the gas and if the gas prices are ever at 4 dollars a gallon again then I will need that.

 

[SHC1984]

Scarlett O'hara would actually be better depicted as the women who go dutch. Scarlett became a shrewed business woman in that movie who did things for herself.

You mean SHC and I are starting to look like Melanie from that movie? The one whose husband Scarlett tries to seduce? We're looking for an Ashley type.

It depends on who Scarlett was dating. She only loved Ashley and wanted desperately to date him, so if she was on a date with him then I am sure she will go dutch OR pay for the entire tab.

However, if Scarlett was dating any other guy, she would most likely expect the guy to pay for everything.

Who pays for the date depends on who is the one thats more desperate for the relationship to work out.