What's the Most Clueless Question Someone's Asked In Class?

[Darth Doc]

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We all have those clueless moments (at least I do). What's the funniest question someone's asked in class (or other thing they said)?

My contribution:
We had a neurosurgeon give us a talk on brain trauma and MRIs. He was discussing cavitation effects in the brain caused by the high speed of a bullet passing through the tissue. Someone asked, "will that happen with fast growing tumors?" The professor paused and said very slowly, "No, they don't grow that quickly."

 

[PhillyMed777]

A lot of dumb questions involve asking about some absolutely minor detail which is not even slightly relevant. Our class knows "these people" and give each other looks when they talk.

Surprisingly, these people ask about the irrelevant little picture, while magically missing the relevant, big picture. It's ridiculous and I don't know how they do it.

Edit: I thought of an example. People may ask about some tiny detail about a pathological feature of a slide of one ultra rare cancer, while forgetting on an exam that the majority of tumors in that organ are secondary.

 

[TheShowGoesOn]

I've heard a third year nursing student claim that there is no such thing as the superior vena cava because she saw an x-ray and it didn't show it. She made this statement infront of the whole class.

bump.

 

[masaraksh]

Whenever someone asks about the patient's feels.

 

[loris]

The worst questions that I've heard have generally involved volunteer patient speakers and a complete lack of tact rather than lack of knowledge. I’m not going to identify which school I attend by posting the actual questions, but one of them was pretty much equivalent to sitting in a full lecture hall and asking a paraplegic terminal cancer patient what he missed most: being able to dance with his wife or play soccer with his grandchildren.

 

[JoshSt]

Lecture about prostate cancer - "Is this something that only affects males?"

 

[qw098]

"Will I know what rank I'm given by other schools before I submit my school rank to ERAS?"

 

[JP2740]

The worst questions that I've heard have generally involved volunteer patient speakers and a complete lack of tact rather than lack of knowledge. I’m not going to identify which school I attend by posting the actual questions, but one of them was pretty much equivalent to sitting in a full lecture hall and asking a paraplegic terminal cancer patient what he missed most: being able to dance with his wife or play soccer with his grandchildren.

What about in front of the full lecture hall: how do you have sex, do you have sex, etc. Like what the... 🙁

 

[PL198]

I've never understood the whole phenomenon of " asking a question that you can google the answer to in 1 second" type questions.

 

[DocVapor]

My favorites are the ones where the person clearly just looked the slide ahead, and asks a question knowing that it's going to be answered on the next slide, all so that it can seem like they are engaged. Whereas 2 minutes earlier I saw them surfing facebook or shopping for bathing suits online.

 

[MrRedLeg1]

I heard that someone in the class ahead of mine asked the professor how to spell the adjective form of the word "pus."

 

[Psai]

I heard that someone in the class ahead of mine asked the professor how to spell the adjective form of the word "pus."

p-u-r-u-l-e-n-t

 

[DrOwnage]

Someone asked a question during our pharmacology lecture if there was a "alpha agonist that was so strong it could make you spontaneously ejaculate." The professor didn't hear the question the first time so he had to repeat it, louder than the first time 😉.

 

[shibby1111]

asking questions you already know the answer to and have researched in order to have an extended dialogue with the professor and make everyone think you're smart when you're actually one of the dumbest kids in the class.

 

[zero0]

Someone asked a question during our pharmacology lecture if there was a "alpha agonist that was so strong it could make you spontaneously ejaculate." The professor didn't hear the question the first time so he had to repeat it, louder than the first time 😉.

What was the answer?

 

[Desk_Jockey]

During a lecture on female reproductive anatomy: "Where's the G-spot located?"

 

[Psai]

During a lecture on female reproductive anatomy: "Where's the G-spot located?"

this is actually a good question
you learn that the distal anterior wall is sensitive and you do your best to avoid pressure on that area when you're going in with the speculum to minimize discomfort for the patient

 

[pd1112]

lmao wish this thread existed earlier, I would've kept a journal from the past two years.

The worst questions that I've heard have generally involved volunteer patient speakers and a complete lack of tact rather than lack of knowledge. I’m not going to identify which school I attend by posting the actual questions, but one of them was pretty much equivalent to sitting in a full lecture hall and asking a paraplegic terminal cancer patient what he missed most: being able to dance with his wife or play soccer with his grandchildren.

Similar scenario (omg maybe we are classmates LoLz lylab/lylas) - volunteer patient had a currently incurable/terminal disease, professor asked us before the patient began to speak (but was in the room in front of the class) about the symptoms of said disease and someone said "death by age __"

 

[TraumaBlonde]

I have so many I could add to this thread:

Me: Can a penis break? Like fracture?

Entire room

Prof: [Trauma Blonde], what is a fracture?

I defined fracture.

Prof: so if a penis has no bone, it can't be fractured.

Me: but it can have a "boner " (trying to salvage my dignity with humor)

 

[deleted500612]

During a pharm lecture, a student asked the professor "Are there any examples of drugs that actually cure people and they dont have to keep taking them forever?"

The prof paused for a moment in bewilderment before politely responding that antibiotics are an obvious example among many others. I was cringing hard.

 

[PL198]

the dumbest things I've heard are when people make light of a patient's situation. like they lose the ability to do something that was their primary hobby for their entire life and a student tries to make a joke about how they'll just have to do it to a lesser capacity. it's like no you idiot, this is what they do, if you were really good at something and then drastically had your ability at it altered by an illness, you probably wouldn't think it was funny

 

[Doctor Bob]

Prof: so if a penis has no bone, it can't be fractured.

... but it can fracture. A penile fracture is a urologic emergency. I see about one a year.


Sounds to me like your professor... (put on sunglasses)... is a dick.

 

[CaptainSSO]

I have so many I could add to this thread:

Me: Can a penis break? Like fracture?

Entire room

Prof: [Trauma Blonde], what is a fracture?

I defined fracture.

Prof: so if a penis has no bone, it can't be fractured.

Me: but it can have a "boner " (trying to salvage my dignity with humor)

If there's excessive oblique force on an erect penis (usually during sex with the woman on top) you can have a penile fracture of the tunica albugenea.

 

[Winged Scapula]

Not really clueless but cringeworthy:

Administration telling us we will have standardized patients for the genitourinary and rectal clinical exams.

Earth Mother classmate: "Where do you get these patients from?"

Admin: "They are hired by the university to provide teaching to our students."

EM: "Could we apply for the job to make some extra money?"

Admin: "Uh well, they go through extensive training which you probably wouldn't have time for and well, uh...you would be examined by your own classmates."

EM: "That's not a problem; I'm very comfortable with and knowledgeable about my body."

Rest of us giving each other the side eye (and not to body shame but she was hardly known for her hygiene or physical attractiveness).

 

[NontradCA]

I have so many I could add to this thread:

Me: Can a penis break? Like fracture?

Entire room

Prof: [Trauma Blonde], what is a fracture?

I defined fracture.

Prof: so if a penis has no bone, it can't be fractured.

Me: but it can have a "boner " (trying to salvage my dignity with humor)

Dat Tunica Albuginea.

 

[touchpause13]

Lecture about prostate cancer - "Is this something that only affects males?"

I cackled.
Damn. That's.... special.

Funniest one I can think of on the top of my head was going through a vaginal anatomy model identifying structures and I ask someone to point to the clitoris as a gimme question. Dude just gestures to the entire area and says I think it's around here somewhere. I had to go in the other room so he didn't see that I was laughing so hard I started crying.

 

[Reckoner]

Heard this from a friend:

After seeing colonoscopy footage of a large intact carrot lodged in the rectum, a guy at her school asked "how did they swallow that whole?"

 

[TraumaBlonde]

... but it can fracture. A penile fracture is a urologic emergency. I see about one a year.


Sounds to me like your professor... (put on sunglasses)... is a dick.

This was a few years ago,
And so reading this brought tears to my eyes, "vindication!"

 

[Smurfette]

Not the most clueless thing ever, but the carrot thing reminded me of this.

Disclaimer: you can't un-know this, high 'ick' factor.

Just saw an incarcerated patient with a prolapsed stoma (i.e. colostomy), who also had parastomal herpes.
Student: that rash sure looked like herpes, didn't it?
Chief: That's because it is herpes.
Student: But I thought that was sexually transmitted!
Me: It is.
Student: That's weird. So how did the patient get it there?
Awkward silence.
Student: I don't get it.
Student #2: Dude, that IS how he got it!
Student #1: (takes a minute, horrified look on face) But that means...OMG, I had no idea people do that!
Chief: I've never seen it [parastomal herpes] outside of the prisoner population, but I'm sure it happens.
Colorectal Attending: Yep, I've seen a few married women with parastomal warts....(launches into conversation about various things he's seen associated with stomas, to students' horror).

 

[AnonymousD.O.]

You people pay attention in class?

 

[MedWonk]

Not the most clueless thing ever, but the carrot thing reminded me of this.

Disclaimer: you can't un-know this, high 'ick' factor.

Just saw an incarcerated patient with a prolapsed stoma (i.e. colostomy), who also had parastomal herpes.
Student: that rash sure looked like herpes, didn't it?
Chief: That's because it is herpes.
Student: But I thought that was sexually transmitted!
Me: It is.
Student: That's weird. So how did the patient get it there?
Awkward silence.
Student: I don't get it.
Student #2: Dude, that IS how he got it!
Student #1: (takes a minute, horrified look on face) But that means...OMG, I had no idea people do that!
Chief: I've never seen it [parastomal herpes] outside of the prisoner population, but I'm sure it happens.
Colorectal Attending: Yep, I've seen a few married women with parastomal warts....(launches into conversation about various things he's seen associated with stomas, to students' horror).

I actually had no clue until I saw the same thing during a correctional health elective. Mind was blown that day.

 

[masaraksh]

If there's excessive oblique force on an erect penis (usually during sex with the woman on top) you can have a penile fracture of the tunica albugenea.

not speaking from personal experience, but seems like weight of the woman on top can be a risk factor.

 

[masaraksh]

Not the most clueless thing ever, but the carrot thing reminded me of this.

Disclaimer: you can't un-know this, high 'ick' factor.

Just saw an incarcerated patient with a prolapsed stoma (i.e. colostomy), who also had parastomal herpes.
Student: that rash sure looked like herpes, didn't it?
Chief: That's because it is herpes.
Student: But I thought that was sexually transmitted!
Me: It is.
Student: That's weird. So how did the patient get it there?
Awkward silence.
Student: I don't get it.
Student #2: Dude, that IS how he got it!
Student #1: (takes a minute, horrified look on face) But that means...OMG, I had no idea people do that!
Chief: I've never seen it [parastomal herpes] outside of the prisoner population, but I'm sure it happens.
Colorectal Attending: Yep, I've seen a few married women with parastomal warts....(launches into conversation about various things he's seen associated with stomas, to students' horror).

good time to start IV ouabain 10mg/kg

 

[Psai]

Not the most clueless thing ever, but the carrot thing reminded me of this.

Disclaimer: you can't un-know this, high 'ick' factor.

Just saw an incarcerated patient with a prolapsed stoma (i.e. colostomy), who also had parastomal herpes.
Student: that rash sure looked like herpes, didn't it?
Chief: That's because it is herpes.
Student: But I thought that was sexually transmitted!
Me: It is.
Student: That's weird. So how did the patient get it there?
Awkward silence.
Student: I don't get it.
Student #2: Dude, that IS how he got it!
Student #1: (takes a minute, horrified look on face) But that means...OMG, I had no idea people do that!
Chief: I've never seen it [parastomal herpes] outside of the prisoner population, but I'm sure it happens.
Colorectal Attending: Yep, I've seen a few married women with parastomal warts....(launches into conversation about various things he's seen associated with stomas, to students' horror).

yeah...

 

[Tired]

...

 

[D4C]

Student asking about cadavers to the anatomy chair: "are the cadavers healthy"?

Prof: "no...they are dead..."

 

[slopes23]

When you have to give someone a diverting colostomy after self-induced penetrating rectal trauma, you often feel as though you have just given them a new toy...

Lol, but do you really though?

 

[WaterPog]

Regarding the "adjective form of pus" I've lost count of how many nuring triage notes I've read referring to "*ussy wounds"

The question is worth asking even if just to stop the cycle.

 

[Goro]

OMSI: "What's a protein?"

I am NOT making this up!

We all have those clueless moments (at least I do). What's the funniest question someone's asked in class (or other thing they said)?

My contribution:
We had a neurosurgeon give us a talk on brain trauma and MRIs. He was discussing cavitation effects in the brain caused by the high speed of a bullet passing through the tissue. Someone asked, "will that happen with fast growing tumors?" The professor paused and said very slowly, "No, they don't grow that quickly."

 

[TheBDP]

OMSI: "What's a protein?"

I am NOT making this up!

Glad to see the screening process worked.

 

[Goro]

With this student, no.

Glad to see the screening process worked.

 

[kenjixshadow]

With this student, no.

How did this student do in class? If top 10%, I think (s)he trolled you.

 

[kenny878]

Student: "Where is the clitoris?"
Prof: gives a scientific explanation while trying to remain professional
Student: "Why is it so important? Or like why do you always hear girls talking about where it is and stuff?"
Prof: "i'll let you google that one"

 

[touchpause13]

Student: "Where is the clitoris?"
Prof: gives a scientific explanation while trying to remain professional
Student: "Why is it so important? Or like why do you always hear girls talking about where it is and stuff?"
Prof: "i'll let you google that one"

Good lord. You would think that people would know this stuff by junior high.

 

[Smurfette]

Good lord. You would think that people would know this stuff by junior high.

You'd think...but there are many places that ban sex ed altogether from being taught, and parents frankly do a lousy job at telling their kids about sexual health matters.

When I was a med student, we had a program where middle and high school kids could come in and tour the anatomy lab. Some of us volunteered to show them organs and stuff (we were encouraged to demonstrate "good lungs" vs. "smoker's lungs", alcoholic livers, etc.). I was once showing a group a pro-sected body, when one of the high school girls (after staring confused at the cadaver) asked me how babies come out of belly buttons when they are born. Talk about awkward!

 

[deleted500612]

Student: "Where is the clitoris?"
Prof: gives a scientific explanation while trying to remain professional
Student: "Why is it so important? Or like why do you always hear girls talking about where it is and stuff?"
Prof: "i'll let you google that one"

You were Arkangeloid's classmate?!

 

[touchpause13]

You were Arkangeloid's classmates?!

 

[Goro]

Definitely not top 10%.

How did this student do in class? If top 10%, I think (s)he trolled you.

 

[AlteredScale]

My freshman year of high school I asked where the prostate was in women and everyone though I was joking.


I wasn't.

 

[pd1112]

You'd think...but there are many places that ban sex ed altogether from being taught, and parents frankly do a lousy job at telling their kids about sexual health matters.

When I was a med student, we had a program where middle and high school kids could come in and tour the anatomy lab. Some of us volunteered to show them organs and stuff (we were encouraged to demonstrate "good lungs" vs. "smoker's lungs", alcoholic livers, etc.). I was once showing a group a pro-sected body, when one of the high school girls (after staring confused at the cadaver) asked me how babies come out of belly buttons when they are born. Talk about awkward!

You mean similar to the entire U.S. sex ed program from 1996-2007?