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- Jun 15, 2002
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Fortunately this isn't "my" attending, but another one I was shadowing in the ER. I think I kind of (maybe really) pissed him off. He said he had to interview the patient himself so he could do his dictation, so I was just there to observe the interview.
But (without giving away any identifying details, obviously), the patient presented as suicidal and looked to me for all the world like he honestly had the thoughts and feelings of a person who could end his life. Just desperate, hopeless, thinking he had absolutely no purpose left in life...my heart seriously went out to him.
And I know it's "wrong" to criticize or even question an attending's behavior...but throughout the interview, the attending sat almost with his back to the patient and barely even looked up as he asked questions and filled out the paperwork for admission.
The patient did get kind of hostile and cursed at the attending, asking why he had to answer all these questions that seem irrelevant when he is just desperate for some kind of immediate help. That's when I started talking, telling the patient calmly he just needed to hold on for these few minutes/hours until we can get these forms taken care of so we can start getting him the help he needs. And he did seem to be calmer after that.
But that was only the start of my involvement...I listened to the patient go on about his issues, mention his daughter and how he thinks she'd be better off without him...I was just sympathetic in general and told him how a daughter always needs her dad.
Then it was back to the attending's questions...which I do know are absolutely necessary for admission. But he just goes down the form of questions and asks each one exactly as it was written...and this is not a population necessarily used to that kind of vocabulary. So I broke in to "translate"...the attending asked something like "do you have any history of assaultive behaviors, legal difficulties, etc etc?" which I made into the more clear "have you ever hit anyone or been arrested before?"
After the interview, I was kind of debating with the attending over his view that the patient was just a malingerer with a personality disorder...I kept arguing that it just seemed so genuine to me (stupid naive me!). But turns out, there was an old chart on him (though he said he'd never been here before) with a similar problem.
OK, I'm too sleepy to think really straight...but I just felt like even though the "med student" title confers no special status anyway, and I admit there is a huge amount of stuff I still have to learn. But I still felt like in good conscience, I couldn't sit across from someone who was having these problems and just nod and smile or take notes.
I also know the initial assessment is not supposed to be therapy...but I still feel like (in all my previous pessimissm and cynicism), I didn't go into medicine to look away when people are hurting or even if they're pretending to be hurting! I guess that's just wanting to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, which I guess doesn't always work out that well.
Oh well, ramble over...post-call sleepiness kicking in...
But (without giving away any identifying details, obviously), the patient presented as suicidal and looked to me for all the world like he honestly had the thoughts and feelings of a person who could end his life. Just desperate, hopeless, thinking he had absolutely no purpose left in life...my heart seriously went out to him.
And I know it's "wrong" to criticize or even question an attending's behavior...but throughout the interview, the attending sat almost with his back to the patient and barely even looked up as he asked questions and filled out the paperwork for admission.
The patient did get kind of hostile and cursed at the attending, asking why he had to answer all these questions that seem irrelevant when he is just desperate for some kind of immediate help. That's when I started talking, telling the patient calmly he just needed to hold on for these few minutes/hours until we can get these forms taken care of so we can start getting him the help he needs. And he did seem to be calmer after that.
But that was only the start of my involvement...I listened to the patient go on about his issues, mention his daughter and how he thinks she'd be better off without him...I was just sympathetic in general and told him how a daughter always needs her dad.
Then it was back to the attending's questions...which I do know are absolutely necessary for admission. But he just goes down the form of questions and asks each one exactly as it was written...and this is not a population necessarily used to that kind of vocabulary. So I broke in to "translate"...the attending asked something like "do you have any history of assaultive behaviors, legal difficulties, etc etc?" which I made into the more clear "have you ever hit anyone or been arrested before?"
After the interview, I was kind of debating with the attending over his view that the patient was just a malingerer with a personality disorder...I kept arguing that it just seemed so genuine to me (stupid naive me!). But turns out, there was an old chart on him (though he said he'd never been here before) with a similar problem.
OK, I'm too sleepy to think really straight...but I just felt like even though the "med student" title confers no special status anyway, and I admit there is a huge amount of stuff I still have to learn. But I still felt like in good conscience, I couldn't sit across from someone who was having these problems and just nod and smile or take notes.
I also know the initial assessment is not supposed to be therapy...but I still feel like (in all my previous pessimissm and cynicism), I didn't go into medicine to look away when people are hurting or even if they're pretending to be hurting! I guess that's just wanting to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, which I guess doesn't always work out that well.
Oh well, ramble over...post-call sleepiness kicking in...