When is the best time to have baby?

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Hi, I am 30 and I have already applied for this year, and received my first call for interview last week. I am wondering when is the best time to have a baby. I have a 17 months old, and would like to have one more child. If I wait until I am done with residency, I will be almost 40, a bit too old for this task. Do any of you know how flexible schools to allow deferral and time off during med school?

So here are my thoughts, assuming that I get accepted.
Option I: Get pregnant now, and defer for a year. So I will start the classes in 2007, my older child will be 2 and half years old, and my younger one will be a little over 1-year old. The pros for this option are that I will be able to spend a good amount of time with them with my undivided attention. By the time I am doing residency, they will be old enough to go to school and more independent. My mom is willing to come help out for 6 months-1 year if needed. It also gives my husband more time to look for a job. The cons for this option are that I will have two very young children going into med school. I heard having two is more than doubling the work, especially if they get sick. Some people warn me that I might also loss my motivation to go to med school, afterall. One more concern is that if I get pregnant now, will it hurt my chance of getting accepted when the interviewers see that I am due not long before matriculation?

Option II: I heard that between 3rd and 4th year might be a good time to have a baby. I can get pregant during the second year, and deliver right after the board exam, take a year leave of absence. My baby will be under 1-year old when I start my 4th year. The Pros for this one is that I will only need to worry about 1 child during the first two years. The cons are that I will have to go back to school and residency when my second child is still young, I woundn't be able to spend as much time with my children as option I.

Option III: Have a baby during residency. I don't know very much about this option. If you know anything or have any other suggestions, please let me know.

Also, how does work if there are multiple acceptances? Is a deposit required to hold the seat? How long do we have to decide?

I know it is a long message with lots of questions, i would really appreciate your input and help!!
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Middle of 4th year as things start to "slow down". Get most of the sleepless nights of over with before intern year.
 
I know a few women who have taken time off from classes to have children. Semesters or a full year. This is at UNECOM, but im sure most schools would be happy to accomodate you.
 
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rad_one said:
Middle of 4th year as things start to "slow down". Get most of the sleepless nights of over with before intern year.
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Everyone says this but internship is right around the corner...
 
My dermatologist (who's wife is also an MD) said that during residency was the best time. Something about the insurance coverage, etc.

I can't understand how that would be great timing for mom, but that's what he said. Unfortunately, I don't have any more details than that.
 
We had baby #1 during my wife's 4th year of medical school. I was working full-time so we had insurance, otherwise it would have been out-of-pocket. We have baby #2 is coming in Dec., during my wife's 3rd year of IM residency. She has her own insurance through her employer (the hospital) for this one.

Both times the programs worked with my wife and flexed her schedule around her pregnancy. The medical school arranged for her to have time off after the baby was born (I think it was 4-6 weeks), and then brought her back to a very easy rotation before she jumped back into things full-swing. The residency program is letting her have 12-weeks (federally mandated), of which my wife is only taking 6. (If she misses more than that she won't have completed enough working-days to be eligible to sit for the boards next year.) She's also coming back to an elective rotation when she returns as a way to ease back into things.
 
I agree with Rad. Hey, either option will have its downside. It is just tough to have a family during this process. It will be a challenge no matter what time you
decide to slip one in. No pun intended.

Yes, there won't be a lot of time to devote to family, at least not as much as you want. Your only other option is to be almost 40 and pregnant. These are dilemmas that many of us deal with. Hey, it could mbe worse. You could decide to go into Surgery and rarely spend time with your family.
 
The first two years of med school have a relatively high degree of flexibility (unless you have mandatory 8-5 class, which I would avoid like the plague). Fourth year is indeed pretty much a cakewalk.

Third year is a time suck, and of course from intern year on your time will be seriously in jeopardy. With those things in mind, it think it behooves you to have your next (and presumably last) child ASAP. This will maximize the amount of time you have available for his/her first couple of years, and have him/her at least in kindergarten when you begin residency.

Do not mention your pregnancy to med schools. Also, time it so that you won't be showing before the end of the interview season.

Edit: I should add that a ton of women in my med school class got pregnant during 3rd year, had their babies 4th year (one had twins), and now they're all interns with babies and their lives are Hell. Don't do it to yourself if you can avoid it.
 
my brother did his residency with lots of women who had babies, so that's always an option. i've also heard of people doing it 3rd and 4th year like you mentioned, so that's another option.
 
Thanks to all of you who replied, especially Harvarti666. Now the interview process is very long. I have received two invitations for interviews so far, but my first choice school (OHSU) is nutoriously slow, a friend of mine applied last year and didn't get interviewed until January or Feburary, and then was notified rejection in May. How can I keep my tummy flat for that long and still maximize the time with my new-born?!

Also, can anyone tell me how hard is it to defer for a year? What kind of reasons will school accept?

How can I find out about if mandentory attendence is required by the schools?

Thanks a lot!
 
I just realized that I made some mistakes on my first message. Sorry about the confusion. For option I, my older son will be 3 and 1/2, and younger one will be a little over 1 when I start.
For option II, if I take a year off between the 3rd and 4th year to have a baby then, my younger one will be about 1 when I start my 4th year, and about 2 when I start residency.

I am still struggling with these ideas. And how easy is it to take a year off or get deferral? please advice!
 
I don't think you need to defer a year.

A friend of mine at UCSD SOM suggested b/w 3rd & 4th year, although IMO years 1 and 2 are fine too. It's didactic lectures in sterile environments, nothing too physically taxing. Just avoid popping when taking USMLE Step 1.

Personally, I would prefer to give birth in MS1, spend the toddler years with new child. And go into residency when child is 3-4, old enough for daycare and play on his own.

That way the age diff. b/w your 1st and 2nd aren't more than ~3 yrs apart. It's great that you already have #1 ... (s)he will step up to the plate and play big bro/sis when you're busy with your studies & residency. :)
 
Don't have much in the way of advice, but I would definetly post this question/do a search on www.mommd.com.
 
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Hello,

I empathize with some of your situation, and have to tell you that there's hope! Don't despair! There's a website called mommd.com, and I'd highly recommend you go there and post your questions to the women on that board. Once you do, you'll realize that many many women have done it, done it succesfully, and still have their sanity in check as well!

As for me, I will be 30 next birthday, am an MS2 at PCOM, and am 5 months pregnant. After feeling out my study style all last year, I realized that I perform the best when I stay home and study most days (I pick and choose the lectures, like Path, that I can't miss and go to those). I will do the same this year, and when baby comes, will stay home and study mostly and then my husband will stay when I need/want to go to school. Everytime I get a little overwhelmed with the thought, "a baby in MED SCHOOL! am I crazy??" I think about all those women who work all during their pregnancies, then have a few weeks off to recover from the birth, then have to go back to work, 9-5. Staying home and studying has proven much easier and more doable for me (at least my time is my own). That said, I know a woman in my class who had a baby first year and comes to pretty much every class (I think she's got family here to watch the baby). Whatever works!

Anyway, please feel free to pm me if you have any further questions. Bottom line: it's completely doable, and it depends on you being able to adapt to different ways of studying, and perhaps a slightly different experience of med school.

Good luck!
 
ifkt355 said:
Thanks to all of you who replied, especially Harvarti666. Now the interview process is very long. I have received two invitations for interviews so far, but my first choice school (OHSU) is nutoriously slow, a friend of mine applied last year and didn't get interviewed until January or Feburary, and then was notified rejection in May. How can I keep my tummy flat for that long and still maximize the time with my new-born?!
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Just tell them you've got an abdominal tumor. Technically it's true. ;)

ifkt355 said:
Also, can anyone tell me how hard is it to defer for a year? What kind of reasons will school accept?
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Now that I think about it some more, what you should do is get pregnant in the spring, and have the baby around Christmas. Once you've started (and gotten through a semester) then taking time off, particularly for a baby, shouldn't be much of a problem. Many schools offer a "decelerated" track that lets you string the first two years into three. I wouldn't ask about this in too obvious a manner, though. The adcom certainly wants to feel that you will have the time to devote yourself adequately to your studies.

ifkt355 said:
How can I find out about if mandentory attendence is required by the schools?
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Just ask the med students you meet on your interviews, research SDN, search around the school websites, etc. If it were my only option I would do mandatory attendance, but it would most surely blow.
 
Thanks to all of you who replied! Now, please tell me what IMO and MS stand for. I am new to these abbreviations.

Also, I made a few mistakes in calculating my children's age. Sorry about the confusion. For option I, my older one will be 3 and half, and younger one will be a little over 1 if I get pregnant soon and defer for a year. I also heard that the first two years of med school are somehow flexible because you don't have to go to class all the time.

For option II, if I take a year off between 3rd and 4th year, my older one will be 5 and half, and younger one will be about 1 when I got back to school for the 4th year. I heard during 4th year, things slow down a bit.

How flexible is it for schools to let students take time off or defer? Thanks again!!
 
I'll hopefully be going into med school with my kids 3 and 1.5 (unless i don't get in the first time i apply :eek: ) I agree with the notion it's good to have them old for residency. On the other hand I am hoping to have mroe kids in the future and I'm thinking financially the best thing to do would be to have them during residency. Another option is to be pregnant fourth year and then take a year off to be with the baby before matching. I think financially that one's a bit sketchy, but I am considering it. I get terrible morning sickness, so I'm not looking forward to working ina medical environment while pregnant...
 
MiesVanDerMom said:
I get terrible morning sickness, so I'm not looking forward to working ina medical environment while pregnant...
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Good point ... hormone fluctuations and hospitals just don't mix as well. I would think that all the smells would excite vomiting. Plus, your diet during residency is probably out of control. Can you really arrange to eat WELL every 2-3 hours? Plus, the urgency to go pee every 2 hours as the Goliath uterus weighs down on your teensy bladder. Hmm.... I think I just convinced myself to go get pregnant right now, which is kinda hard w/o a mate. :p
 
ifkt355 said:
I just realized that I made some mistakes on my first message. Sorry about the confusion. For option I, my older son will be 3 and 1/2, and younger one will be a little over 1 when I start.
For option II, if I take a year off between the 3rd and 4th year to have a baby then, my younger one will be about 1 when I start my 4th year, and about 2 when I start residency.

I am still struggling with these ideas. And how easy is it to take a year off or get deferral? please advice!
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I found it to be fairly easy. I told my top two schools, after being accpted, that I would like to have a year off to save up more cash in order to make the move to school. Obviously, I declined one of the school acceptance but they didn't have it on record so they still called me the following year to see if I was still coming. Anyway, they gave me absolutely no hassle.


Again, those first two years are very intense as far as the amount of info you must acquire in a relatively short time. You will still have to study during 3rd and 4th year but not nearly as much as the 1st and 2nd and the studying is easier due to the foundation of baseline knowledge acquired during years 1 and 2. Ever considered staying in your hometown for help from friends and relatives?
 
Thank you all for replying. ErinG, thanks for your support. Actually PCOM-Philadelphia is my top choice because there are just more job opportunities for my husband (That's another big headache now, it is hard for his career. We might either go long distance or take a major deep for his career and pay). So PCOM does not require attendence? How do you like it there? What's the board passing rate? Are you going to take a year off or not? How flexible is PCOM to let students let time off or defer?

It is going to be hard to study with a baby, because I do get distracted. I took the MCAT 4 months after I deliver, did badly, because I couldn't sleep the night before (terribly hot), nervous, and my baby crying. So I took it again in April this year. I had my babysitter come in 2-3 hours a day so that I can study, but it took me a while to get her situated, and I often fell asleep... so the actual time to study was really not much at all. I could get my mom here to help for 6 months to 1 year, but she is living in a different coutry, so it is asking quite a bit.

Thanks a lot!
 
I think right now would be a good time, or MS1, so they will be older during residency, and you will be younger. Plus, the children won't be that far apart in age. It's good to have them close in age I think.
 
Seems to me that you're being pretty optimistic in assuming you can "schedule" when you're going to have children. I would say, just have your next child when it comes, and deal with the situation at that point. But preferably before residency. Schools in almost every case have excellent programs/assistance available for students in difficult circumstances. Whereas in residency, leaving for even a week really puts your fellow residents out. Bad karma.
 
I just started med school so I really don't have enough insight into the process yet to necessarily recommend a good time for you to have another child. I do think liverotcod makes a good point though about scheduling pregnancy--sometimes it works out the way you want, but it can take a healthy woman 12-18 months to become pregnant, so you shouldn't count on it happening at a very specific time just because you're trying. If you do end up going to OHSU, my impression is that they are fairly family-friendly- several of the students in my class already have kids, and it sounds like many people do have children while they are students here. I think the administration is a bit more flexible than some other schools about allowing time off for this once you are a a student, I don't know their attitude towards deferring though. Again, this is just my impression as a new student there, but compared to other schools I saw that were almost exclusively populated by single students without children I think OHSU may be more understanding since they take so many non-trads who already have families. And OHSU does not have a mandatory attendance policy, classes during the first 2 years are usually from 8-12 with a a couple of longer days thrown in during the week, so although you are expected to do a fair amount of studying on your own given the shorter class time you do have more flexibility in scheduling your time. Good luck!
 
Thank you again for your advices and insights! As far as staying at my hometown goes, I don't really have a choice, there is only 1 med school in my state (OHSU), and it will required me to move anyway.

Last time when we tried to conceive, I think I got pregnant right away (1 time try), that's why I am so confident that I might be able to do it again fairly easily. Now with a baby already, it is important to plan for everthing.

Some people were warning me that if I have a second child, then forget about med school, it is going to be too hard. What's your schedule like a day as a med student, dear current med students? How much will I have to spend with my family. If it is 8-12 class, then it is really not too bad.

Please let me know which option you are supporting. Thanks a lot!
 
Thank you all for replying! Some people were warning me that if I have a second child, then forget about med school, it is going to be too hard because having two is more than double the work, especially when the first one is still young. I am afraid that I might loss my motivation. Now I am struggling with the idea if it is worthy it, having to sacrificing time away from my children, relocate, and my husband need to find a new job... I am just having a down time right now...

Anyway, I also need advice on the interview attire. I bought a black suit with very tiny blue dots. I am wondering what to wear under the suit. Should it be white or can it be colored. What style should it be. Can I wear jeweries such as necklace or not? Thanks!!
 
ifkt355 said:
Last time when we tried to conceive, I think I got pregnant right away (1 time try), that's why I am so confident that I might be able to do it again fairly easily. Now with a baby already, it is important to plan for everthing.
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I apologize for being so strident, but I must repeat my warning. Our first time around, my wife was pregnant her first month off the pill. The second time, it took 2 years. Of course, your mileage may vary.
 
...all times are equally inconvenient for having children, so have them when you think it will work best for YOU, and don't listen to anyone else's opinion. It's your life (and your kids') so do what you have to do. Time off can be arranged, schedules flexed, etc., etc.

I'm saying this having known dozens of people who have had kids at every conceivable (no pun intended...but now that I think about it... :D ) juncture of medical education. I've got 4 myself, and we've somehow survived.
 
I would suggest you consider Ohio State very carefully. They have a program where after the first semester, the rest of 1st year and all of second year are independent study with no required attendence. You get your material and you study on your own. OSU is also relatively friendly to out of staters, and you get in state tuition after your first year. I'm not at OSU so that's the limit of my knowledge of them, but if things haven't changed much in the last year, it's something you should look into.
 
OldPsychDoc said:
...all times are equally inconvenient for having children, so have them when you think it will work best for YOU, and don't listen to anyone else's opinion. It's your life (and your kids') so do what you have to do. Time off can be arranged, schedules flexed, etc., etc.

I'm saying this having known dozens of people who have had kids at every conceivable (no pun intended...but now that I think about it... :D ) juncture of medical education. I've got 4 myself, and we've somehow survived.
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Thanks a lot, OldPsyDoc. It is very encourgaing to hear realy examples. When did you have your kids, during schools, residency? Did you have any help? If you don't mind telling me a little more. Thanks.
 
Some people were warning me that having two childern is more than double the work, and it is going to be too hard to have two children in med schools. I am worry about losing motivation if I have two and defer for a year. How much studies are needed per day, outside of classtime? What is a typical day like for med students? How much time will I be able to devote to my family?

I have one more question to ask-interview clothes. I have two interview scheduled so far. I bought a black pant suit with tiny blue dots that are only visible in close range. What should I wear under the suit? Should it be white or can it be other colors? Any jeweries such as earrings and necklace?

Thanks.
 
Mistress S said:
I just started med school so I really don't have enough insight into the process yet to necessarily recommend a good time for you to have another child. I do think liverotcod makes a good point though about scheduling pregnancy--sometimes it works out the way you want, but it can take a healthy woman 12-18 months to become pregnant, so you shouldn't count on it happening at a very specific time just because you're trying. If you do end up going to OHSU, my impression is that they are fairly family-friendly- several of the students in my class already have kids, and it sounds like many people do have children while they are students here. I think the administration is a bit more flexible than some other schools about allowing time off for this once you are a a student, I don't know their attitude towards deferring though. Again, this is just my impression as a new student there, but compared to other schools I saw that were almost exclusively populated by single students without children I think OHSU may be more understanding since they take so many non-trads who already have families. And OHSU does not have a mandatory attendance policy, classes during the first 2 years are usually from 8-12 with a a couple of longer days thrown in during the week, so although you are expected to do a fair amount of studying in your own given the shorter class time you do have more flexibility in scheduling your time. Good luck!
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Thank you, Mistress S. Are you in OHSU program right now? Do you know what is the lowest MCAT score among acceptances?
 
All three of my kids were born long before med school so this is based on my experience of having kids, not combining having kids w/med school.... but combining the two experiences, here's my thoughts:

Worst time to have a baby while in med school: late in second year unless you plan to take a year off before starting third year. Third year is extremely stressful and I think it would be hard to balance it with a new baby. I also think it would be very hard to have a baby pretty much any time during third year unless you just skip one whole rotation and know you'll be doing a third year rotation when the rest of your class is moving on to fourth year.

Best times to have a baby while in med school: several options. (These are not in order of preference, just my opinion.) (1) Late in first year, because in most schools you've then got the summer off which gives you a chance to get your baby routines established before starting school again. (2) Right after third year, because in many schools there is a lot of play in your schedule for fourth year and you could probably arrange some time off. (3) Late fourth year especially if you've front-loaded your schedule and have a lot of time off. Caution: moving for residency is also stressful with a new baby. If you can swing it, having a baby the end of fourth year and taking the next year off before residency would be sweet - but it's not a realistic proposition for many folks.

As for babies in residency: from my observations so far, people seem to work this out in a lot of different ways, so it's definitely do-able.

A couple of cautions:
to the OP (original poster), DO NOT ASSUME that you will be given a deferment. Certainly it seems a reasonable request but you can't count on it, so don't built your plans around that.
To megboo and anyone else who's considering being apart from a spouse for all or part of med school: that is stressful enough; adding a baby into the mix is more headache - and heartache - than you can imagine. The best day care in the world doesn't make up for a second parent. And day care that allows for nights on call, late arrivals, 4:30am departures (my surgery and OB rotations third year), etc. etc. is damn hard to find. I knew someone who did it - with a live-in nanny. I also knew someone with older kids who was a single mom, and her third and fourth years of med school were just one crisis after another when her kids would get hurt, get sick, have school problems, etc. etc. Don't do it! You want to maximize your chances of doing well in med school AND enjoying your family - this ain't the way to do it.

Good luck with whatever you work out!
 
ifkt355 said:
Thanks a lot, OldPsyDoc. It is very encourgaing to hear realy examples. When did you have your kids, during schools, residency? Did you have any help? If you don't mind telling me a little more. Thanks.
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As I am the dad here, there is somewhat less disruption in my life than there would be to the wife's had she been the med student. Nevertheless, agree with mommadoc--there can be times with "one crisis after another". But you can't wait forever to have kids, either! For those of us who enter or re-enter the game a bit later than our fellows, you "gotta do what you gotta do".

Kid#1 came in grad school, and he was 3-ish when I started MS1. Teenager now, which raises a whole new set of challenges!
Kid #2 came just before M1. For both, we had some grandma day care to help out. (But for those of you thinking about staying close to extended family, beware of "sandwich generation" issues. That's where you're trying to raise your kids AND you can be suddenly thrust into a caregiver role with respect to an aging parent!)
Kid #3 came in PGY3. Not much help available, family wise. Found a good day care.
Kid #4 was in utero as we transitioned from residency to my first/current job. There was some interesting "Oh by the way, now that I'm here I need time off on these dates already..." conversation with the new bosses, but it worked out. Can afford to have mom at home with #3 & #4 with #1 & #2 well on their way school-wise. They are occasionally helpful with the little ones as well.
 
ifkt355 said:
Thank you, Mistress S. Are you in OHSU program right now? Do you know what is the lowest MCAT score among acceptances?
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I am a first year at OHSU. I couldn't tell you the lowest MCAT score that got in, last year the mean MCAT for accepted students here was 31 and I doubt that's gone down with our class as OHSU seems to get more competitive each year. Of course that's just an average, so there are plenty of people with scores lower and higher than that who get in. My score was just slightly higher than the mean so I don't personally know how low you could get away with. Obviously other factors come into play as well (GPA, LOR's, EC's, the usual suspects).
 
Wow, I had NOT even begun to think about the timing of having kids. Of course, I'm applying right now and I don't even have a steady boyfriend, but it seems like everyone is saying that residency is DEFINITELY NOT the time to be having kids. . . yikes. I guess that's especially true for me, considering I have a pendulous lean toward surgery. Ok, so if I'm 21 now, I'll be getting my MD at 25 which, if I do surgery, means I'll be finishing up residency around age 30. . . I guess that still leaves me a few childbearing years before trisomy 21 becomes too much of a possibility.

Frightening. I'm glad I stumbled across this thread to actually make me THINK about this sort of thing.
 
Wait until you've taken up a seat and residency spot for the next 8 years and then have a baby and don't actually practice medicine. I think that is what most people in your position do. ;)
 
Thank all of you who replied. It is great to see that I have support from people like you.Sorry that I haven't checked this thread for a while, busu preparing my secondaries and interivew. I just had an interview, and talked to a mother (MSII) who has two kids and one on the way. Apparently, it works out for some people. But sometimes just thinking about how tough life will be, how much time I will miss in my kids' life, makes me doubt if I should do this.

Please feel free to add more comments and suggestions.
 
I also worry about missing time with my kids. When I start school my kids will be 3 and 1.5. My older son also has health/developmental problems. If I can stay in my home town I am not worried because my mom will watch the kids and she is awesome. I am beginning to wonder if I can handle doing it elsewhere and possible having to put them in daycare if I can't afford a nanny. I really LOVE being a stay-at-home mom, but I know this is best for my kids. We need a second income and this is the only thing I can imagine doing. So... I'd gladly die for my kids, so I guess I'll have to deal with the heartache of missing them for them. I know this is best for them. And my son LOVES being around new people so he is going to be thrilled to spend his days with someone else! I bore him. ;)
 
Posting late into this thread but will throw my story in. Just accepted to UCC with a month's notice. We have a 20 month old and my wife will have the second baby in Ireland in January. As we're older and glad to have a viable pregnancy whenever it comes, we're definitely feeling as if any time is a good (or bad) time. Then, you can never underestimate the degree to which the "when" question isn't in your control after all (for school or baby)! Carpe diem, I guess.
 
Hi, haven't posted for a while because I was busy with secondary/interview stuff. Anyway, I just found out that I got accepted to my first interview school, and will hear from the other within three weeks, and one more interview scheduled to go.

I have mixed feelings: excited to get accepted and get my foot in the door, relieved that the waiting game is over, and anxious about the future- time away from my baby, the enormous debt, and the same question: when to have my second child.

I am actually leaning toward having the child now, and defer for a year. But I don't know if the school will let me defer. Anyone knows anything about it? How should I ask the school without raising a red flag? What do you think about the timing, should I wait until I am in?

Thanks and keep comments coming please.
 
I'm really left a little aghast at the very nature of your question, which seems to be "I, for my own selfish reasons, would like to know when the best time to squeeze a baby in to my hectic life would be. Of course I'm not really going to be there to see the child grow for at least the first five years of its life because I'll be doing my residency. That doesn't matter though, I just soooooooooooooo want to have a baby. I think it would be neat!"

A child is not a fashion accessory. If you're willing to put having children above your career, then wait until you have the ability to work around your child's schedule. Don't try to fit a child into yours. That's not fair to you or your baby. But really, what do I know? It seems that this generation of children whose parents have abandoned them for their own lives has turned out just peachy.
 
How do you already have an acceptance when schools can't notify regular decision applicants until 10/15? Or... If you were and early decision applicant, how have you been interviewing at other schools?
ifkt355 said:
Hi, haven't posted for a while because I was busy with secondary/interview stuff. Anyway, I just found out that I got accepted to my first interview school, and will hear from the other within three weeks, and one more interview scheduled to go.
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little_late_MD said:
I'm really left a little aghast at the very nature of your question, which seems to be "I, for my own selfish reasons, would like to know when the best time to squeeze a baby in to my hectic life would be. Of course I'm not really going to be there to see the child grow for at least the first five years of its life because I'll be doing my residency. That doesn't matter though, I just soooooooooooooo want to have a baby. I think it would be neat!"

A child is not a fashion accessory. If you're willing to put having children above your career, then wait until you have the ability to work around your child's schedule. Don't try to fit a child into yours. That's not fair to you or your baby. But really, what do I know? It seems that this generation of children whose parents have abandoned them for their own lives has turned out just peachy.
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I don't think it is fair for you to say that I am doing it for my own selfish reaons. There is nothing wrong for a mother to want to have a baby and a career in the same time. Men do that all the time, why can't women? It is NOT a fashion accessory, if you are a parent yourself, you will know that. As a current stay-at-home-mother, I fully understand the committment, responsbility and effort.

Yes, I want to have a family and a career, and I am determined to make it work. It does not mean that I am going to "abandon" my children, it just means that I am going to have to work harder and find ways to be more efficient in arranging my schedule. I am not going to sweat over getting all "A"s, and I am going to spend as much time with them as I can. Many women return to work after 6 weeks of maternity leave, and are they less of a mother than the stay-at-home-moms? I don't think so. I am asking the question now, so that I can plan my life to maximize my time with my children. Many women have children before and during medical schools/residency and didn't take any time off, and they did just fine. Are we just all selfish and simple want a fashion accessory? I took MCAT 4 months after I deliver, while taking care of my son on my own. You do not know me, and what I am capable of and what kind of hardship I have overcome. But also, I don't know you either, maybe you have some issue with parental abandonment.

There is never a good time to have children in medical school, and so is in other careers. I don't think women have to give up our dreams and career to qualify to be a good mother. Life does not stop because of med school, life continues despite of med school. So do not underestimate human strength.
 
SailCrazy said:
How do you already have an acceptance when schools can't notify regular decision applicants until 10/15? Or... If you were and early decision applicant, how have you been interviewing at other schools?
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The acceptance I got was from a DO school. I don't think they have to wait until 10/15. I just got another invite to interview at an MD school today, yeah!
 
I just started at UNECOm and there are a couple of people who have young children in our class. Most of them come to all the classes and therefor do not spend much time with their children. There are two mandatory classes here at UNECOM during the first semester ..and anatomy lab is mandatory so that pretty much keeps you in manadatory classes around for around 24 hours per week.

UNECOM is very family friendly and many times the young children and babies are at the exam reviews and are on campus throughout the day with the students spouse.

As a student who is thinking of having children in the next few years, after talking to people, I have concluded that the best time to give birth would be 3rd or 4th year of med school. Supposedly having a child during residency can be a nightmare. Although there are split residency programs which may be good for those who want to spend more time with their families.

good luck!!


ifkt355 said:
Thank you again for your advices and insights! As far as staying at my hometown goes, I don't really have a choice, there is only 1 med school in my state (OHSU), and it will required me to move anyway.

Last time when we tried to conceive, I think I got pregnant right away (1 time try), that's why I am so confident that I might be able to do it again fairly easily. Now with a baby already, it is important to plan for everthing.

Some people were warning me that if I have a second child, then forget about med school, it is going to be too hard. What's your schedule like a da
y as a med student, dear current med students? How much will I have to spend with my family. If it is 8-12 class, then it is really not too bad.

Please let me know which option you are supporting. Thanks a lot!
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kelaskov said:
I just started at UNECOm and there are a couple of people who have young children in our class. Most of them come to all the classes and therefor do not spend much time with their children. There are two mandatory classes here at UNECOM during the first semester ..and anatomy lab is mandatory so that pretty much keeps you in manadatory classes around for around 24 hours per week.

UNECOM is very family friendly and many times the young children and babies are at the exam reviews and are on campus throughout the day with the students spouse.

As a student who is thinking of having children in the next few years, after talking to people, I have concluded that the best time to give birth would be 3rd or 4th year of med school. Supposedly having a child during residency can be a nightmare. Although there are split residency programs which may be good for those who want to spend more time with their families.

good luck!!
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Thanks for your input, kelaskov. Will you choose having baby at 3rd or 4th year over having it before I enter medical school? You are not talking about the taking a year of leave of absence, are you? Thanks.
 
The fact of medicine or any other career for that matter is that you *will* be missing out on imporant events/milestones. If this is okay with you then the best timing is probably during fourth year. I would "wait" to see what medical school is like for you *before* doing anythingl. Some folks have an extremely difficult time and you just do not know until you start. Having children is serious business and they need a lot of attention and parental supervision so as long as your SO is willing to pick up MAJOR slack it will difficult to do this *and* start medical school. Most of the parents in my class including myself are always super busy..can it be done? yes but with a LOT of support from the SO.
 
Just want to add my experience. I was accepted for fall 2005 but interviewed pregnant with my second child. I was about 16-17 wks. pg at my last interview, but hid it with loose jacket, etc. I planned on trying to defer if accepted. I was accepted at 3 schools, two of which gave me deferments (didn't try with NYU b/c I knew I wasn't going to go there). My deferment was accepted at my top choice, thank God. I was prepared to start school in August, just 2 weeks after my daughter was born. Anyway, when I start med school next August, I will have a 5 yr. old and a 1+ year old. I have no idea how I'm going to do it. My husband has a very demanding job right now. I think there will be lots of hired help involved. I'm terrified, but I know it can be done!!

Good luck to the original poster & know that you can defer based on pregnancy at nearly all schools, I suspect.
 
Bunsen Honeydew said:
Just want to add my experience. I was accepted for fall 2005 but interviewed pregnant with my second child. I was about 16-17 wks. pg at my last interview, but hid it with loose jacket, etc. I planned on trying to defer if accepted. I was accepted at 3 schools, two of which gave me deferments (didn't try with NYU b/c I knew I wasn't going to go there). My deferment was accepted at my top choice, thank God. I was prepared to start school in August, just 2 weeks after my daughter was born. Anyway, when I start med school next August, I will have a 5 yr. old and a 1+ year old. I have no idea how I'm going to do it. My husband has a very demanding job right now. I think there will be lots of hired help involved. I'm terrified, but I know it can be done!!

Good luck to the original poster & know that you can defer based on pregnancy at nearly all schools, I suspect.
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Thanks, Bunsen Honeydew. It is really encouraging to hear about your experience with deferment. Do you mind telling me which school let you defer, and do you just tell them your due date? Did they ask anything during the interviews?

I went on an interview last week, and talked briefly to a MSI mom who has two very young children(the younger one is only 10 months), and she said she studied during the day, and her mother helped taking care of her children when she was gone. And she was at the top of her class. So it CAN be done! Enjoy your time with your little ones, and good luck!
 
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