Who else doesn't take criticism well?

[TallScrubs]

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Anyone else feel/know that don't deal with criticism well?

I was just reading a thread of a resident who briefly described an experience where he/she was kicked out of the OR for really no good reason. This got me thinking.....I would be pissed off and would be tempted to say something.

No doubt that would be INCREDIBLY stupid, career damaging--but to spare you the listing of consequences--I know I don't take criticism well.

Even when I know that I'm wrong, or that the criticism would be helpful, I get super pissed off and say stupid things.

Anyone else out there that is like me? If any of you out there notice that you tend to strongly agree with Larry David, then you're probably like me.

So how do you LD's deal with criticism?

 

[bassvp]

<insert witty, critical comment here>

 

[Doctopus]

<------

I feel that my curriculum is so disorganized, my 'professionalism' classes so pointless, etc. etc., that the fact that *I* have to be the one to take criticism from those who are responsible for putting out this drek is a joke. I especially love that, for instance, in clinical medicine, part of our grade is based on how approving we are of the criticism we receive--you are, for instance, graded down if you react "defensively" to what is often a ridiculous suggestion from the attending. I have no doubt this tendency of mine won't help me once i hit the similarly messed up situation that is the hospital......

sorry for the vent.......anonymity allows me to express the feelings i could never express to my attending in person here................it's a topsy turvy world

 

[VenusinFurs]

An attending recently told us that criticism is just criticism, and we can take it or leave it. Not everything everyone says is relevant to you or your situation. There's a difference between "constructive" criticism (which you don't actually have to take if you don't want to) and dressing someone down because you are in a bad mood (which might be what happened in the OR story, I don't know what happened there.) If you react to criticism with anger, that means you're letting it get to you and are insecure about it. If you react to someone being a dick to you with anger, you're just escalating the situation, and unfortunately someone on a power trip will use that against you. So ultimately, you gotta work on being stoic. I know it's hard, I am working on it myself.

 

[DrYoda]

So how do you LD's deal with criticism?

Nod and smile.

 

[jlimback]

Nod and smile.

And mentally picture myself kicking the persons ass 😛

 

[thomprya]

Disclaimer: I have been described as annoyingly optimistic by many people.

I personally every situation good or bad offers you an opportunity to learn. If it is constructive criticism meant to make you a better person then swallow your pride and think about accepting the help. If what was said was hurtful with good intentions simply smile and nod and then when you calm down a bit reflect if this suggestion would be a positive change. If so, do it. If the criticism is ridiculous and meant to hurt without being helpful then smile and nod but remember how it made you feel and try to make sure you don't go and do the same thing when you are in their shoes.

 

[ucladoc2b]

Selectively listen.

Sometimes you gan get some good ideas and useful insight.

Sometimes you get garbage completely not relavent to the particular situation. Or worse, your evaluator could be mostly trying to stroke his/her own ego or power trip.

Either way, especially if it's a superior dishing it out, smile, nod, agree, don't get emotionally defensive, and move on. It can be hard to do, but this method will minimize any long term hurt feelings.

 

[OveractiveBrain]

Anyone else feel/know that don't deal with criticism well?

I was just reading a thread of a resident who briefly described an experience where he/she was kicked out of the OR for really no good reason. This got me thinking.....I would be pissed off and would be tempted to say something.

No doubt that would be INCREDIBLY stupid, career damaging--but to spare you the listing of consequences--I know I don't take criticism well.

Even when I know that I'm wrong, or that the criticism would be helpful, I get super pissed off and say stupid things.

Anyone else out there that is like me? If any of you out there notice that you tend to strongly agree with Larry David, then you're probably like me.

So how do you LD's deal with criticism?

Personally I think what you're getting at is that people in positions above you are miserable leaders. You may find it bizzarre that, in other fields (such as computer programming or consulting management) employees demand feedback; to not give it is a mark of poor managers, poor leaders, and turnover will increase (i.e. employees will leave). Good managers, good leaders, will be there to provide guidance, making the employee better, analyzing mistakes, improving weaknesses, identifying stengths.

In medicine, people spend so much time as subordinates that they never learn how to be leaders. They just suddenly graduate, and then, wham, they are in charge. So what people in positions of power claim is criticism is just sarcastic remarks or bull**** 'feedback...' essentially saying "the way you are is not the exact same way as I am, so its wrong"

There are few, and I hope there will be more, who actually know how to lead. Most (and I do mean most) medical students and residents are not bad people. They are extremely intelligent, hard working, and dedicated people. There may be the one bad apple that needs more intense therapy, but for the most part, everyone in medicine has great potential. It is up to the leader of the team to cultivate that potential, even if you are only together for two weeks.

Real criticism, that which is planned, carefully analyzed, and meaningful to teh advancement of the learner's education, should be embraced. It should not be feared. It should not be shunned.

Finally, even if the criticism you get IS NOT planned, carefully analyzed, and seems meaningless, listen to it. Not everyone is able to articulate why they feel a particular way about your performance. If you think you're a great person and someone tells you that you're cold and uncaring, they are picking up on SOMETHING. Use every bit of criticism and reflect on yourself, use it to improve you as a person and you as a physician.

Then throw out the screams, the impatience, and the surgeons comments.

 

[ucladoc2b]

Personally I think what you're getting at is that people in positions above you are miserable leaders. You may find it bizzarre that, in other fields (such as computer programming or consulting management) employees demand feedback; to not give it is a mark of poor managers, poor leaders, and turnover will increase (i.e. employees will leave). Good managers, good leaders, will be there to provide guidance, making the employee better, analyzing mistakes, improving weaknesses, identifying stengths.

In medicine, people spend so much time as subordinates that they never learn how to be leaders. They just suddenly graduate, and then, wham, they are in charge. So what people in positions of power claim is criticism is just sarcastic remarks or bull**** 'feedback...' essentially saying "the way you are is not the exact same way as I am, so its wrong"

There are few, and I hope there will be more, who actually know how to lead. Most (and I do mean most) medical students and residents are not bad people. They are extremely intelligent, hard working, and dedicated people. There may be the one bad apple that needs more intense therapy, but for the most part, everyone in medicine has great potential. It is up to the leader of the team to cultivate that potential, even if you are only together for two weeks.

Real criticism, that which is planned, carefully analyzed, and meaningful to teh advancement of the learner's education, should be embraced. It should not be feared. It should not be shunned.

Finally, even if the criticism you get IS NOT planned, carefully analyzed, and seems meaningless, listen to it. Not everyone is able to articulate why they feel a particular way about your performance. If you think you're a great person and someone tells you that you're cold and uncaring, they are picking up on SOMETHING. Use every bit of criticism and reflect on yourself, use it to improve you as a person and you as a physician.

Then throw out the screams, the impatience, and the surgeons comments.

Epic post.

Just one point to add. Effective managers/leaders sholuld also solicit feedback and make changes when appropriate. Good leadership is really a two-way street.

 

[Mufa]

I hate criticism as well. Luckily, I don't say anything...I just silently wish you and your loved ones a slow painful death.