Will divorce hurt my application?

[jesswise]

This sucks, but I think I'm getting a divorce. Does anyone have any knowledge of what adcoms might think of this? I mean, lots of people get divorced, it's not that big a deal anymore. It's a big deal to me, of course, but what I mean is not a big deal in terms of being considered a character failing.

Anybody know anyone with experience in this?

Jess

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[skypilot]

I don't think it would come up unless you allow it to. You can even talk about your marriage without talking about your divorce.

 

[DannGee]

if the rules governing med school interviews are anything like those governing job interviews, then they aren't allowed to ask questions about your marital status (at least in the U.S.), and i'm sure that interviewers are made aware of these restrictions (violations can and do result in discrimination lawsuits). i'd guess you probably won't have to address it in an interview unless you happen to bring it up.

Originally posted by jesswise
This sucks, but I think I'm getting a divorce. Does anyone have any knowledge of what adcoms might think of this? I mean, lots of people get divorced, it's not that big a deal anymore. It's a big deal to me, of course, but what I mean is not a big deal in terms of being considered a character failing.

Anybody know anyone with experience in this?

Jess

 

[jesswise]

Well, in the interview it could come up, especially since I have kids. I don't want to lie, definitely, so I'm just wondering if it does come up, and I handle it as tactfully as possible, is it the sort of thing that they would consider, or just strictly personal, none of their business.

 

[jesswise]

That makes sense, just don't bring it up. But in Canada I know that as a financial consultant (I work for a finance company) I can ask marital status, where my US co-workers cannot. So it might not be off-limits in Canada.

 

[DrMom]

I can't imagine that it would be pertinent to their decision. There are many divorced medical students & numerous ones that are single parents. Chances are the Drs that interview you have been divorced.

The only thing that I can imagine they might ask you in reference to divorce/kids is how it will affect your ability to succeed in their program. It's not a kosher question, but it could be asked so I recommend you have some kind of answer in mind.

 

[jesswise]

Are there really lots of single parent med students? If so, i want to join that support group!!!

Jess

 

[skypilot]

Originally posted by DrMom
Chances are the Drs that interview you have been divorced.

This is true, divorce is endemic in medicine. You could just say "divorced" and leave it at that. But I doubt it will come up.

 

[BlueFalcon]

Just make sure you don't tell them that the marriage broke up because your hubby caught you in bed covered in grape jelly with his best friend and his pet monkey. They might look down on that. Seriously though, it's none of their business. Don't talk about it unless you want to.

 

[jesswise]

I'm not offended, but it's very interesting that BlueFalcon assumes I'm female because I am (or will soon be) a single parent. FYI, I'm male.

Thanks for all replies.

Jess

 

[Bones2008]

Originally posted by jesswise
I'm not offended, but it's very interesting that BlueFalcon assumes I'm female because I am (or will soon be) a single parent. FYI, I'm male.

Thanks for all replies.

Jess

I think it was more of an assumption that "Jess" is short for "Jessica." I had assumed the same, actually.

 

[BlueFalcon]

No Jess. You've got me all wrong. I just assumed you and your hubby were a gay couple. I think it's "very interesting" that you assumed that I assumed that you were in a heterosexual relationship - you homophobe.

Now are you offended?

 

[pathdr2b]

Originally posted by jesswise
I'm not offended, but it's very interesting that BlueFalcon assumes I'm female because I am (or will soon be) a single parent. FYI, I'm male.

Props to the man that accepts the challenge of raising children !!!

I'm personally not mentioning being divorced or having children in my personal statement becasue it has absolutely nothing to do with my desire to become a physician/scientist. Although when I was interviewing a few years back, it did come up when I asked if the school had childcare facilities on campus. Fortunately, my interviewer didn't ask anything else about it.

 

[BlueFalcon]

You're right, Path, that it has absolutely nothing to do with your desire to become a physician. But it may affect your ability to do so. That said, the fact that it's illegal to ask about such things makes it all rather irrelevant.

As for the "challenge" or raising children... what's so challenging about locking your kid in the closet for the day with the family pet, some fresh water and a can of Spaghetti-O's. Least that's how we do it in the south.

 

[pathdr2b]

Originally posted by BlueFalcon
You're right, Path, that it has absolutely nothing to do with your desire to become a physician. But it may affect your ability to do so.

Yeah, I'v ealready decided that I'll have to be happy to be in the middle of the pack in terms of academic performance. No AOA goals for a wife and mother of 2 kids

Originally posted by BlueFalcon
As for the "challenge" or raising children... what's so challenging about locking your kid in the closet for the day with the family pet, some fresh water and a can of Spaghetti-O's. Least that's how we do it in the south.

However, as a URM raised mainly in the south, I think the meal of choice is a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken

 

[prmd4555]

Of course not! IT is non of their business and they don't care. No one will care and don't bring it up anyways at interviews because it won't be professional.

 

[BlueFalcon]

yeah, haven't you seen the new KFC ads? It's the new health food.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,103538,00.html

Oh, and since it's a FoxNews story, you know it's "fair and balanced."

 

[jesswise]

Thanks BlueFalcon- that's the first good laugh I've had in two days.

Not only has my insane spouse taken one of my daughters and disappeared, but I just got back from the emergency room, where I got 6 stitches (sorry, "sutures") in my hand after slicing it open on a kitchen knife. My other daughter wants to know where mommy is, and thinks we should mail her treats.

Tip of the day: don't marry someone with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Jess

 

[BlueFalcon]

Sorry, man. I hope things get better for you. The first step is always the hardest, and I think your first step needs to be to stop stabbing yourself in the damn hand. That won't accomplish anything. Take care of yourself and the girls. Good luck.

 

[jesswise]

Well, I tried stabbing myself in the skull, but my damn cranium must be 2 inches thick! Boy do scalp wounds ever gush blood though.

That's two good laughs in 10 minutes. Keep up the good work.

Jess

 

[rgporter]

Only if you're spouse was financing your application process.

 

[gary5]

Originally posted by jesswise
This sucks, but I think I'm getting a divorce. Does anyone have any knowledge of what adcoms might think of this? I mean, lots of people get divorced, it's not that big a deal anymore. It's a big deal to me, of course, but what I mean is not a big deal in terms of being considered a character failing.

Anybody know anyone with experience in this?

Jess

I didn't mention it in any of my essays. I don't expect it to come up, although I can handle it if it does. If you have a mature perspective, you can discuss past relationships with anyone.

 

[jesswise]

rgporter,

I noticed the name on your signature line. It's a common name really, but I was wondering... This is a personal question, and you don't have to answer it if you don't want to, but by any chance does that Mr. Dubois have his right arm off at the wrist?