Women who started med school after 26 -- tell me your experience!

[fourandtwo]

Yes, yes, yes! I'm leaving a pretty cushy corporate job to go to med school at age 38. I can't stand the idea of doing this type of work for the rest of my career...I work for a Fortune 500, and add to their bottom line every day. Not very motivating. I want to do something that matters for the rest of my career.
Did you work full time AND study for the MCAT? How long did it take you?

Ok so hear me out, I did work as a full time consultant (which we know is more like 60 hours/week) at a fortune 500 while studying for the MCAT and applying for school, but I constantly had to make getting into medical school my priority. This meant being tired for work, not being proactive, and refusing to work more than what's needed. Essentially, I only stayed at work JUST to get a well paid income, and was slowly becoming worst employee of the year, haha. It obviously didn't feel good because I was at one point an adored employee, and it took constant mindfullness to put med school first, work second.

For my MCAT, I would wake up at 4am in the morning to do the most mentally draining studying, then come home to reinforce those concepts. I would "mentally study" at work all day too, studying without notes. Needless to say, I was quite absent at work and my performance started to slip. Because I am nontrad, I took 7 months to study instead of the average 3 months.

At my company we had the flexibility to work remotely too, and I heavily abused it, especially during interview season. I would answer important emails 3-4 hours late. But I needed to keep the job- med school applications were expensive, I had a mortgage to pay, and I didn't know for sure if I'd get in.

Around December, a whole 1.5 years of being a ****ty employee, and 11 interview invites later, I finally got laid off at work. I'm cool with it though. They used me as an employee in the past, and this time around I used them for a paycheck. Now I'm happily accepted to school and living off unemployment

And all those couple's therapy couseling sessions? 10 free sessions from work for laying me off.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[libahli]

Hey guys! I don’t really post much but just saw this thread and HAD to chime in! I’m a current M1 (just a few months left, woo hoo) and I started in my late 20s as a single woman. I too left a cushy and successful career that just wasn’t providing me with the personal satisfaction I wanted.

Haven’t had a chance to read through all the responses here but wanted to say that med school so far, while extremely time-consuming, isn’t more so than the hours I used to spend in my former career. In fact, I probably spend less time studying than I did working though it certainly doesn’t seem that way sometimes, lol.

Anyhow, that’s just to say that if you’re already fairly busy, there shouldn’t be too much of a change in your schedule (at least in the preclinical years). School will keep you busy but you’ll have time for hobbies, dates, etc (albeit not right before an exam).

In terms of making friends in school - I live off-campus so at first it was a little more difficult just because I wasn’t spending all my free time hanging out with everyone (I prefer to study at home and not spend hours on campus). But after anatomy and some small groups, I began making friends and now I have a fair amount of people that I would call good friends. They are actually a mix of trad/nontrads but all happen to be awesome . These are people I truly respect and admire and enjoy spending time with.

There are definitely some people in my class that lack the, um, polish? that I think they would have if they had waited to matriculate a few years later, but on a whole, I find everyone very respectful and quite mature. Since we are all at the same point in our medical career, that commonality really helps to equalize things, if that makes sense.

I will say that there are times when it’s particularly hard as a single nontrad - it’s not like my classmates can be my dating pool and most of my outside friends are all paired up and having kids (as are most of the other nontrads in my school). I definitely want kids and it’s crushing sometimes to feel like I’m completely giving that up by pursuing this path - just because it’s been hard for me to find the right kind of guys to date and I absolutely wouldn’t be able to be a single mom on my own right now. I would definitely be willing to have a kid while in school if I were married.

However, even before med school I was having that struggle - med school just exacerbated it somewhat because now I’m a lot pickier with whom I’m willing to give time to date. Also, I’m far less willing to give guys a long chance - like the last guy I was seeing, I knew after the first few dates that it would never last so I dropped it at that point whereas I definitely would have given it more time if I wasn’t so busy with school.

Gah, I did not mean to ramble but it’s late and I get that way when I’m tired. All in all though, it is an absolute privilege to be in med school and learning these incredible things AND getting to actually put some stuff into practice already. So I’m happy that I made this choice, even though there are definitely times that it can be hard and just a little isolating. But I knew that going in so I can’t say that was a surprise!

Anyways, if you have any questions or anything I can be assistance with, feel free to message me or post here- I’ll try to keep an eye on this thread!


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[star.buck]

I'm down!

Follow up question for everybody: do you ever worry that you won't find a good support group in med school? I worry it! Gauging from the crowds at my interviews, it seems everyone's so much younger. I'm worried that when I need the support from my peers, I won't find it, as they haven't got the same life experience and are not in the same stage in life. I fear that I may only bond with them superficially. Furthermore, since I don't have kids or a spouse, I worry that I won't form that strong bond with people my age either, whom may already have those things.

35 this year, current MS2, woman... just as a reminder

I worried about this initially as well... however I have met some of the most amazing people in my class... there are several women nearly a decade younger than me who are like sisters: I’ve cried with them, hug them nearly every day I see them, share triumphs and fears with them... there’s men who are incredibly supportive and help me study and learn material, as well as support through friendship and comradery. The bond I have with some of my classmates (nearly all of them that decade-ish younger) is deep, and I believe it will last beyond medical school.

The very valuable lesson I had (in my experience) to learn was that age was a restriction I placed on myself. No one else among my peers cares. We’re all there to learn medicine, we’re all going through the same difficulty, and we all want to be there for each other.

Also, if you live off campus... studying at school tends to foster those friendships. That was a huge turning point in my social life at school and helped me form some great friendships.

Your age will likely only create a problem for you if you let it. Med school has brought me some of the nearest and dearest friends I think I will ever have.

 

[kraskadva]

One more for the party... I'm 32 and a M1. Married, no kids, will probably adopt down the line. One of my best friends in med school is about to turn 40, and is a single mom with 2 (pre)teens.
My story is in my post history if you feel like looking for it...not gonna retype at the moment. But feel free to ask questions if you have them

I am extremely curious to hear from those who have taken a similar path, especially women who have started med school in their late 20s. Some of my questions are -- Did you feel like you had to give up on a more time-consuming specialty due to starting later?

I mean...I wasn't gunning for one of those anyway, but that's more personal preference than a feeling of time crunch. My friend who's older is weighing the option of trauma surgery, because she's into that.

How much did starting later affect your personal life -- did you have to put other priorities (settling down, kids, etc.) on hold much longer than you would have liked?

Only as much as you (and your finances) let it. I've got friends of all ages, older and younger, and go hang out when I feel like it. The biggest thing holding me back from personal lifestyle priorities/preferences is the perpetual poverty of being a student. But there's a light at the end of that tunnel.

Do you have any regrets about your decision?

Nope. I'd rather be doing this than working a job that makes me miserable.

 

[fourandtwo]

Hey guys! I don’t really post much but just saw this thread and HAD to chime in! I’m a current M1 (just a few months left, woo hoo) and I started in my late 20s as a single woman. I too left a cushy and successful career that just wasn’t providing me with the personal satisfaction I wanted.

Haven’t had a chance to read through all the responses here but wanted to say that med school so far, while extremely time-consuming, isn’t more so than the hours I used to spend in my former career. In fact, I probably spend less time studying than I did working though it certainly doesn’t seem that way sometimes, lol.

Anyhow, that’s just to say that if you’re already fairly busy, there shouldn’t be too much of a change in your schedule (at least in the preclinical years). School will keep you busy but you’ll have time for hobbies, dates, etc (albeit not right before an exam).

In terms of making friends in school - I live off-campus so at first it was a little more difficult just because I wasn’t spending all my free time hanging out with everyone (I prefer to study at home and not spend hours on campus). But after anatomy and some small groups, I began making friends and now I have a fair amount of people that I would call good friends. They are actually a mix of trad/nontrads but all happen to be awesome . These are people I truly respect and admire and enjoy spending time with.

There are definitely some people in my class that lack the, um, polish? that I think they would have if they had waited to matriculate a few years later, but on a whole, I find everyone very respectful and quite mature. Since we are all at the same point in our medical career, that commonality really helps to equalize things, if that makes sense.

I will say that there are times when it’s particularly hard as a single nontrad - it’s not like my classmates can be my dating pool and most of my outside friends are all paired up and having kids (as are most of the other nontrads in my school). I definitely want kids and it’s crushing sometimes to feel like I’m completely giving that up by pursuing this path - just because it’s been hard for me to find the right kind of guys to date and I absolutely wouldn’t be able to be a single mom on my own right now. I would definitely be willing to have a kid while in school if I were married.

However, even before med school I was having that struggle - med school just exacerbated it somewhat because now I’m a lot pickier with whom I’m willing to give time to date. Also, I’m far less willing to give guys a long chance - like the last guy I was seeing, I knew after the first few dates that it would never last so I dropped it at that point whereas I definitely would have given it more time if I wasn’t so busy with school.

Gah, I did not mean to ramble but it’s late and I get that way when I’m tired. All in all though, it is an absolute privilege to be in med school and learning these incredible things AND getting to actually put some stuff into practice already. So I’m happy that I made this choice, even though there are definitely times that it can be hard and just a little isolating. But I knew that going in so I can’t say that was a surprise!

Anyways, if you have any questions or anything I can be assistance with, feel free to message me or post here- I’ll try to keep an eye on this thread!


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

35 this year, current MS2, woman... just as a reminder

I worried about this initially as well... however I have met some of the most amazing people in my class... there are several women nearly a decade younger than me who are like sisters: I’ve cried with them, hug them nearly every day I see them, share triumphs and fears with them... there’s men who are incredibly supportive and help me study and learn material, as well as support through friendship and comradery. The bond I have with some of my classmates (nearly all of them that decade-ish younger) is deep, and I believe it will last beyond medical school.

The very valuable lesson I had (in my experience) to learn was that age was a restriction I placed on myself. No one else among my peers cares. We’re all there to learn medicine, we’re all going through the same difficulty, and we all want to be there for each other.

Also, if you live off campus... studying at school tends to foster those friendships. That was a huge turning point in my social life at school and helped me form some great friendships.

Your age will likely only create a problem for you if you let it. Med school has brought me some of the nearest and dearest friends I think I will ever have.

Love these... thanks for sharing your experiences.

 

[BleedinBlue2016]

When I created this thread, I NEVER could have imagined that it would turn into this! All of you ladies are so incredible and give those of us who are in the very beginning stages of deciding to go the med school route so much hope
I am currently in a long distance relationship (since undergrad) and my SO is applying to medical school this cycle after taking 2 gap years. The majority of people I've heard of either have an SO that they meet inmedical school and therefore graduate with and can to a couples match with OR have an SO who is outside of the medical field and therefore has more flexibility to move around. Do you guys know of matching/residency options for those of us who are in a relationship with someone who will be in a different medical school and in a different year than us? If I apply the 2019 cycle, my SO will be 2 years ahead of me in school. Is it still possible for me to do a couples match to be where he is when he is in residency and I graduate or will that drastically reduce my chances of matching?
Just wondering if there's anyone in a similar situation!

 

[willow84]

Unfortunately you have to be in the same match to couples match: Couples in the Match - The Match, National Resident Matching Program

I wonder if there will be any preferential treatment given to you by the institution where your SO is completing residency or not?

 

[PygmyPuff]

When I created this thread, I NEVER could have imagined that it would turn into this! All of you ladies are so incredible and give those of us who are in the very beginning stages of deciding to go the med school route so much hope
I am currently in a long distance relationship (since undergrad) and my SO is applying to medical school this cycle after taking 2 gap years. The majority of people I've heard of either have an SO that they meet inmedical school and therefore graduate with and can to a couples match with OR have an SO who is outside of the medical field and therefore has more flexibility to move around. Do you guys know of matching/residency options for those of us who are in a relationship with someone who will be in a different medical school and in a different year than us? If I apply the 2019 cycle, my SO will be 2 years ahead of me in school. Is it still possible for me to do a couples match to be where he is when he is in residency and I graduate or will that drastically reduce my chances of matching?
Just wondering if there's anyone in a similar situation!

I have friends who are a married couple and they are one year apart in school. The husband is matching this year and the wife will try to match in the same city as him. From what I understand, couples match is only available if you're matching in the same match year. If your SO matches into a large city that would probably be best case scenario since you'd have more options to match yourself. I'm assuming when you interview at residencies you can discuss your SO if you'd like and they would make note of that. I know residencies want to match people that want to be at their program and if you have a SO in the area, that would show you'd likely want to match there as well.

Good luck! Can't wait to catch up with you in a few years on this thread and see how everything turns out!

 

[PipetteDreams]

When I created this thread, I NEVER could have imagined that it would turn into this! All of you ladies are so incredible and give those of us who are in the very beginning stages of deciding to go the med school route so much hope
I am currently in a long distance relationship (since undergrad) and my SO is applying to medical school this cycle after taking 2 gap years. The majority of people I've heard of either have an SO that they meet inmedical school and therefore graduate with and can to a couples match with OR have an SO who is outside of the medical field and therefore has more flexibility to move around. Do you guys know of matching/residency options for those of us who are in a relationship with someone who will be in a different medical school and in a different year than us? If I apply the 2019 cycle, my SO will be 2 years ahead of me in school. Is it still possible for me to do a couples match to be where he is when he is in residency and I graduate or will that drastically reduce my chances of matching?
Just wondering if there's anyone in a similar situation!

While being at a different school isn't a big deal for the match, being in different years will be tough. My friends who have married non-class members in the medical school have found ways to add a single year, but two would be a little more tricky. Strategies I've seen include taking a year off to do research, get an MPH or MBA, or defer enrollment for a year. Additionally, he could do one of those options, then match to a prelim year and re-entered the match for specialty... While you can match where your partner is ahead of you, it is challenging, depending on the specialty and location.

Here are some other posts that may help:
Going to the same residency institution as my wife
Marriage in med school/residency to a younger student

 

[willow84]

I'm down!

Follow up question for everybody: do you ever worry that you won't find a good support group in med school? I worry it! Gauging from the crowds at my interviews, it seems everyone's so much younger. I'm worried that when I need the support from my peers, I won't find it, as they haven't got the same life experience and are not in the same stage in life. I fear that I may only bond with them superficially. Furthermore, since I don't have kids or a spouse, I worry that I won't form that strong bond with people my age either, whom may already have those things.

I think you may be surprised at who ends up in your class. I was lucky to interview with several people over 30, and we've all kept in touch since interview day. Maybe the older crowd was just a different week than you!

Welcome!

I'm in a slightly different boat. I'm unmarried, but in a serious relationship where we're planning on getting married during the summer after my first year. I'm deciding whether to go to his medical school (he's in an MSTP, so we will finish at the same time), or to a more prestigious program that would actually cost significantly less.

It's all crazy. Before I met him, there's no way I would consider prioritizing a relationship over my career. He is supportive of either option, and willing to do distance (6 hour drive), though. I am just unsure if that's a journey I want to put us through for my career, when we will be couple's matching regardless. Yet I've been dreaming of going to this other program for the last four years...

Advice, anyone? Please?

I think it comes down to the debt difference and the difference in schools. Are we talking a top 25 vs. an unranked? $100k vs. $300k? Ultimately I'd want the support of a partner, I think, but the other factors could make a huge difference.

Is it too much to suggest a GroupMe or Facebook or Slack or something along those lines? We can either find a way to keep it anonymous or de-anonymized via invite or something. I just don't see myself checking SDN too much once I matriculate.

I would love a Facebook group! I'm much more likely to check that once school starts.

 

[star.buck]

I'd be down for a group of some sort as well!

 

[PipetteDreams]

I would love a Facebook group! I'm much more likely to check that once school starts.

Neat! I made a Closed Facebook Group. If anyone wants to message me, I can give you the link to the Facebook group.

 

[crystalag01]

Im 28 and am finishing up to apply this year. However, my husband are discussing pro/con of medical school vs crna school for myself. This is so motivating to read and will be sharing your stories with him. So happy to see so many successful non-traditional women in the medical field.

 

[Lorchik]

Thank you for inspiring stories. I am 37 with 3 kids and applying this year. You, guys/gals, help me stay on track, push and motivate to stay on track.

 

[Drez06]

Hey there, I just wanted to chime in! I’m 29 and was accepted to an MD program last November. It’s been a long road for me, gave up a very lucrative career to get here. I think I added the same experience as some other people, waking up at 4am to study for the MCAT, studying for an hour during lunch in the car, coming home and studying for hours on end after working a 10-12 hour day. I’m so lucky to have a husband who is so understanding and wonderful. He has been so supportive throughout this whole process, I don’t know how I would do it without him.

To anyone out there wondering if it’s worth it, if they should deal with the long hours and the shadowing at 28 years old and studying for the MCAT after a 12 hour work day and the taking premed classes with people almost ten years younger than you... I don’t regret a single second of this journey. I’m so proud of what I have accomplished so far, and I’m so proud of all of you!!!

 

[njtrimed]

Women in medicine is a tricky subject. This post will prolly get flagged as hate speech but let’s roll with it.

If you don’t want kids, I think that it is entirely possible to find someone understanding of the demands medicine places on you. No problem. Gonna be harder to find someone that understanding, but there are guys out there who will.

If you want kids, medicine becomes very tricky. The best case scienerio is that you are out practicing as a PC doc at age 29. While the 80 hour workweeks subside, Docs are still pulling in 40-50 hours/week full time. How many kids do you want? If the answer is three, well, that’s 9 months each and studies have shown that babies do best breastfeeding for 18 months. When are you sopposed to have time to do that? What is the point of having a child if you can’t raise it?

Personally, having female family members in medicine, they express their regret for going to medical school, and wish they would have done the PA/NP route because it’s shorter. After age 35, the risk of pregnancy complications goes up, and females are pretty much done after age 40.

Why not have kids when you are still younge and go to medical school at 37?

Now, I think that the saving grace in the conversation is if grandparents are a part of the equation. Children need a father and a mother figure present in the first 6 years of life when the subconscious is developing.

I feel very sorry for you if this is really how you perceive women in medicine, quite honestly. I'm not even sure where to begin with all the things that are upsetting about your post. A father and a mother...really? What year is this? Breastfeeding is necessary for 18 months??? No, not even close. And I am a mom who is currently nursing two kids- a toddler and an infant- but the presumption that it's necessary to breastfeed for any finite length of time is just downright judgmental and presumptuous, at best. Plenty of biological moms cannot nurse their babies for any number of reasons, including the stress attached to doing so, and there's nothing wrong with feeding an infant formula for whatever reason arises.

Parenting is something you do when you are either ready for it and choose to do so, or something you do when you're faced with it, and choose to do so. There is no correct way to go about it, and no absolute timeline as to when it's "best" for anyone. The only thing that is "right" is that you choose to take on the responsibility and make the best decisions you can for your child. "Done after age 40" is an ignorant statement.

Some of the most amazing people I know have either raised or been raised by single parents, two dads, two moms, parents who started at 20, or parents who had kids over 40. Your post is judgmental. Going the PA/NP route is equally judgmental- that's a difficult path, too, and has nothing to do with parenting. I know PAs whose work life is far more stressful than that of the attending physicians they work for, so that's an ignorant attitude as well.

In summary, no "hate speech," but this isn't 1960 and if I hadn't seen your name on SDN repeatedly, I would have assumed this was a really poor attempt at trolling. I wish it was, because this is downright pathetic.

 

[alana615]

Just a few thoughts: I am 26 and about to start my last block of M1 year. I had to take prereqs post bacc, walked away from a full time job to devote to getting into med school. I have definitely made some sacrifices (I guess, if you want to call it that) but I have never felt like I was making sacrifices. I would say the hardest part of all this has been the fact that my boyfriend still lives in my hometown, and I'm at school a few hours away. But he comes to visit me and we make it work. I love what I am doing and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am so proud of what I've accomplished, and I so value my experience and insight that comes from being a non traditional student. I think it makes me a much more balanced medical student. I've never really felt strongly about having kids, so I can't really speak to that aspect of it. Nor do I care much about 'settling down.' I think you should pursue what makes you happy, and the rest of it will work itself out.

The thing that helped me the most was realizing that medical school doesn't mean putting your life on hold. It's your life, if you're living it, it's not on hold. Medical school is a lot of work, but it's also a whole lot of fun and extremely rewarding.

 

[lillian36]

Chiming in late.

Getting married (we do arranged marriages), having family is my top priority (esp. since I'm late 30s).

Sometimes life has different plans. In my case, it seems I'm being steered towards studying pre-med, MCAT, etc.

 

[star.buck]

Chiming in late.

Getting married (we do arranged marriages), having family is my top priority (esp. since I'm late 30s).

Sometimes life has different plans. In my case, it seems I'm being steered towards studying pre-med, MCAT, etc.

Just a heads up, if that's your real picture... I'd strongly suggest changing it to maintain anonymity on these forums. Best of luck to you on your future endeavors!

 

[lillian36]

Just a heads up, if that's your real picture... I'd strongly suggest changing it to maintain anonymity on these forums. Best of luck to you on your future endeavors!

LOL, that's not my real pic. Thanks for the heads-up though!

 

[Mama_DO]

Giving my 2 cents a bit late, but I hope it helps someone. I started med school at 40 and am only a few months from starting IM residency (yikes!). I also plan on doing fellowship in my current advanced geriatric age. My personal motto was the same advice someone stated above- I would be 50 anyway, might as well be a doctor too. So here I am.

I had a nice job in academia and married with one child when I decided to start this journey, and I do not regret it at all. It's been difficult in the usual ways (finding time to study, passing exams, trying not to look like an idiot), but I also worried about spending enough time with my family, my child making friends at a new school, feeling like a dinosaur in a room of baby geckos, etc. I had the same worries as most of you- will I be too old to succeed? Am I *****ic for giving up a great job and comfortable life for the unknown? Will I make any friends or instead feel like Steve Buscemi in 30 Rock?? Let me reassure you that it will all be ok- the same drive that gets you into med school is the same force that will ensure you succeed.

To address some fears- yes, you will feel like you're impersonating a college kid trying to look young, and NO, no one will think that except for you. Yes, you will get some jerks giving you grief for starting school "late", and no, it won't matter because it's just bullies yapping. Yes, I did avoid some more competitive residencies that I was interested in due to my age, and no, I don't feel regret or that I settled for something inferior. Yes, you'll fear that residency programs will feel you're too old for them, and no, you're not. Plus, due to your maturity, you'l know to avoid ranking those malignant programs because at this point in your life, you know who you are and what you need from life.

For you ladies who are worried about having kids, I can't give any advice about that except that if you want them, I promise you'll make it work. If you have gone from college, to a career, back to studying, and back to school, you are focused, driven, and will achieve what you want.

TDLR: Unless you're 80 and in poor health, just DO IT! Your fears are larger than reality. I stood on the backs of giants to get to where I am, so ask any questions.

 

[sporklet]

Hi ladies!

Jumping in...this thread is amazing and I'm totally down for a group to commiserate with! I'm 33 and will be putting my application in this cycle...in a serious relationship and thinking of kids but none yet. I don't really have anything to add to this thread on topic but wanted to say hi!

 

[DokterMom]

Welcome!

I'm in a slightly different boat. I'm unmarried, but in a serious relationship where we're planning on getting married during the summer after my first year. I'm deciding whether to go to his medical school (he's in an MSTP, so we will finish at the same time), or to a more prestigious program that would actually cost significantly less.

It's all crazy. Before I met him, there's no way I would consider prioritizing a relationship over my career. He is supportive of either option, and willing to do distance (6 hour drive), though. I am just unsure if that's a journey I want to put us through for my career, when we will be couple's matching regardless. Yet I've been dreaming of going to this other program for the last four years...

Advice, anyone? Please?

That is a tough decision... How significant is the prestige difference? What are your thoughts on your future specialty? And how do you feel about having biological children?
-------------------------------------------------------

Added after reading the numerous posts that I skipped --

As these strong, motivated and intelligent ladies have already said: You can make it work if you really want to, especially if you're not stuck in the mindset that being a good parent means the woman stays home and nurses for 18 months. (Yuck!) Or that having biological children is God's true plan for your life and that you need to be under 30 (or even 40) to do that...

I did a little basic math with your $128 a day, and Woah! That's a BIG difference! Proximity and companionship can be wonderful, but there are also merits to studying alone and planning special weekends together. Since you mentioned academic medicine, the prestige factor and reduced cost are also more important than in most other environments...

 

[DokterMom]

Probably for many of the same reasons most men aren't interested in doing that.

If I could like this twice, I would.

 

[GypsyHummus]

Oh boy, here we go. Buckle up buckaroos!

I feel very sorry for you if this is really how you perceive women in medicine, quite honestly. I'm not even sure where to begin with all the things that are upsetting about your post. A father and a mother...really? What year is this? Breastfeeding is necessary for 18 months??? No, not even close. And I am a mom who is currently nursing two kids- a toddler and an infant- but the presumption that it's necessary to breastfeed for any finite length of time is just downright judgmental and presumptuous, at best. Plenty of biological moms cannot nurse their babies for any number of reasons, including the stress attached to doing so, and there's nothing wrong with feeding an infant formula for whatever reason arises.

Parenting is something you do when you are either ready for it and choose to do so, or something you do when you're faced with it, and choose to do so. There is no correct way to go about it, and no absolute timeline as to when it's "best" for anyone. The only thing that is "right" is that you choose to take on the responsibility and make the best decisions you can for your child. "Done after age 40" is an ignorant statement.

Some of the most amazing people I know have either raised or been raised by single parents, two dads, two moms, parents who started at 20, or parents who had kids over 40. Your post is judgmental. Going the PA/NP route is equally judgmental- that's a difficult path, too, and has nothing to do with parenting. I know PAs whose work life is far more stressful than that of the attending physicians they work for, so that's an ignorant attitude as well.

In summary, no "hate speech," but this isn't 1960 and if I hadn't seen your name on SDN repeatedly, I would have assumed this was a really poor attempt at trolling. I wish it was, because this is downright pathetic.

 

[naway]

Oh boy, here we go. Buckle up buckaroos!

Your posting history indicates that you were unable to gain entrance to medical school due to performing very poorly on the MCAT, so I'm going to guess that you aren't the best source of career wisdom for the women in this thread.

 

[PipetteDreams]

Oh boy, here we go. Buckle up buckaroos!

Stefan Molyneux is grounded in neither empathy nor reality. I suggest you make better use of your time than pulling the pony-tails of successful women. Perhaps take a page of out these ladies' books, and focus on bettering yourself and your own career.

 

[Marge3]

What an inspiring thread and group of ladies you all are! I've loved reading your stories!

Similar to ChopinLiszt, I've done things topsy-turvy to most. I'm starting Med School in the Fall after a crazy whirlwind of a life so far. Met my hubby early, had kids right away, and have only in the last couple of years been in the position to actively pursue career goals (have worked in other capacities at various times, got a 2nd bachelor's/DIY Post-bacc in December). My kids are older and school-aged and have been a crucial part of this journey. I figure I can show them what's possible, even when plans don't go the way you think they should, or others don't understand! Important for daughters and sons to see.

I feel much more prepared in most ways now than I'd have been right out of college. I know myself and how I work, what I am good at, my flaws; hubby and I have grown up together, and now make an awesome team (took some work!), and our kids are sweet and supportive and well on their way. I'm quite confident medicine is a calling for me, I can't wait!

Amazinglife0531, I had all the same doubts! In the end, I figured I could live with failing, but I couldn't live with never going for it. But it's a very big and personal decision!

I'm so glad I stumbled onto this thread; thank you all for sharing your stories!

 

[MicrobeParade]

Jumping in with the single and in my early 30s crowd! Matriculating in the fall. I don't have children, and I'm not sure that I really want them. I'm nervous that being in my 30s in med school AND not wanting children is really going to take a toll on any romantic prospects. I know I probably shouldn't give this so much worry, but it's been on my mind a lot lately. I'd be happy meeting a single dad, but no desire to be pregnant or deal with children under 5, haha.

Same! It's a relief that we're not alone-- I started out in a different graduate program at age 23 and was the one of two single females (out of roughly 35 women!) in the program. Everyone else has gotten married, while I wound up putting any romantic prospects on hold as I was applying to medical school for the first time. I'm matriculating at age 30 and still very single, but given I'm moving across the country it might be a blessing in disguise. Although I have no desire to get pregnant (the "do you have any kids?" question gets very old), I'm also unopposed to meeting a single dad.

Thank you to everyone who's posted here and has shared their life stories.

 

[maddeh87]

This thread is great! I've been worried about going to medical school single and 30, but it's nice knowing I'm not alone. I've gotten it all: you'll be old when you're done, when are you gonna have kids, but medical school is so much work, blah blah blah. I've never felt an overwhelming desire to have children, and I'm gonna be old no matter what I do with my life, and I'd rather be old and an MD than old and wishing I was. Dating's going to be a bit hard I imagine with limited time, but that seems like a terrible reason to avoid going to medical school.

 

[Marge3]

This thread is great! I've been worried about going to medical school single and 30, but it's nice knowing I'm not alone. I've gotten it all: you'll be old when you're done, when are you gonna have kids, but medical school is so much work, blah blah blah. I've never felt an overwhelming desire to have children, and I'm gonna be old no matter what I do with my life, and I'd rather be old and an MD than old and wishing I was. Dating's going to be a bit hard I imagine with limited time, but that seems like a terrible reason to avoid going to medical school.

Don’t let others project their stuff onto you; obviously they wouldn’t do it, they’re not! You could very well meet someone in school with whom you have a whole lot more in common; also, when you graduate, you’ll still be younger than I am when I’m starting!!

 

[br2pi5]

this thread is so inspirational!! I'm currently 25 and about to apply this upcoming cycle *hopefully* matriculating at 27 eeek!

 

[Boshi]

I started medical school when I was 30 and will be starting an EM residency in July.
I am also guilty of not reading every single response in this thread but I'll share some of my experience.
I got married 3 months before I started med school. My husband couldn't find a job in the area of my med school so he decided to continue his job and moved in with my parents for 3 years. It totally sucked doing a long distance relationship during med school but he thankfully found a job and moved in when I started 4th year so it's been nice to have him around and not feel lonely anymore.
I didn't really feel the pressure to hang out with my younger classmates. I'm more of an introvert so I barely went to school functions but still was able to make a few good friends who couldn't care less what my age is. They have all been very supportive of my journey and are great people to talk to.
I did use the counseling services during my time in med school. Especially during M1 when I felt my whole world was falling apart. I think it's a great resource (and for us it's free and uncapped).
Overall, I feel like my age never really was an issue. One of my classmates who is a complete dickhead at times once made a remark about the few gray hairs I have and suggested I cut them. I proceeded to put him in his place and he has never said anything to me since.

 

[pullmyzincfinger]

Reading this thread is the best thing that's happened to me. You all seem like such amazing people!

I'm 29 years old (going to turn 30 during orientation) and matriculating to DO school this year. Like a few of you, I've been working for a company in a somewhat well-paying job. But making money for someone else began to rankle me more and more, as well as the constant stifling of any creativity or innovation in the name of the all-important profit. Then HR installed alarms that went off if you held a door open for more than 10 seconds. And I realized: this isn't what I want for myself. I thought I could turn off my mind and do the corporate thing, but it just wasn't working.

Going into medical school worries me a little bit on the social front, but I'll figure it out. What I'm really worried about is family and kids, because I know that I want both and I also don't want to rush. I've been dating my current boyfriend for 2.5 years, and he's not sure what he wants. I'm not going to school in an area that has any job prospects for him. But more than that, he doesn't know that he wants kids in the next five years... and, well, I am *certain* that I do. I'm pretty sure we're breaking up (he has no plans to move with me), but this week he keeps saying, "I think I want it with you." Because every girl's dream is to strong-arm her man into marriage by threatening a breakup!

So that's where I'm at as I start medical school. Nice to meet you all and hear a little about people in similar situations!

 

[astrostellar]

I'm 27 now and won't be applying until my early 30s, so this thread makes me happy I don't have kids now, but hopefully will have at least one before applying.

 

[ThetisAntithesis]

Chiming in!!

30 this year and decided (2 days ago) to start this process (Need Biochem and MCAT) and apply in 2019.
Currently an NP (5 yrs) in Internal med.
Single.
Have a mortgage and a dog.
Not sure how this will all play out if I get in for 2020.
Not sure if I will have to sell my house and rent (I plan to work maybe 1st 2 yrs of med school if I can swing it) but still considerably less income than I will be making if any!
I definitely will save like crazy!!!

Extroverted Introvert here. Wouldn't mind making friends in med school but okay if I don't.

Thinking about this process is so exciting!!!!

Good luck everyone!

 

[eablackwell]

Hi all! Good to see so many people giving this a go. I'm a PGY-3 in diagnostic radiology, and I started school at 28 (so I'm currently 35). I will be an attending at 38 (could be 37, but I'm doing a body fellowship for a year). Med school isn't for everyone, it's true, but I would do it all over again in a second. I had to take the MCAT twice (and didn't have the best score on it), but luckily my med school looked past that and gave me a shot.

I entered med school with no kids and left with two (had my son in M2 and my daughter in Jan of M4). It was no walk in the park, but I was lucky to have a very supportive husband who is now a stay at home dad (he worked while I was in med school). I ended up in the top of the 2nd quartile in my class and matched into my first choice DR program.

Good luck all! It's a hard road, but doable!

Edit: Also, as an aside, two of my best pals in med school (who I still keep in contact with) were the youngest two in the class. Age is an attitude.

 

[drdpmn]

Hi all! Good to see so many people giving this a go. I'm a PGY-3 in diagnostic radiology, and I started school at 28 (so I'm currently 35). I will be an attending at 38 (could be 37, but I'm doing a body fellowship for a year). Med school isn't for everyone, it's true, but I would do it all over again in a second. I had to take the MCAT twice (and didn't have the best score on it), but luckily my med school looked past that and gave me a shot.

I entered med school with no kids and left with two (had my son in M2 and my daughter in Jan of M4). It was no walk in the park, but I was lucky to have a very supportive husband who is now a stay at home dad (he worked while I was in med school). I ended up in the top of the 2nd quartile in my class and matched into my first choice DR program.

Good luck all! It's a hard road, but doable!

Edit: Also, as an aside, two of my best pals in med school (who I still keep in contact with) were the youngest two in the class. Age is an attitude.

Thanks so much for your perspective! It's inspiring and empowering. I have heard that M4 is the best time to have kids in med school. What was the timing like for your son in M2 and would you recommend that? Also, did you go into med school thinking you would do such a long residency?

It's funny how everyone has their own things that they're worried about. I am not the slightest bit worried about fitting in or making friends. I am worried about dating, given that most of my classmates will be a lot younger and in a different phase of life!

 

[eablackwell]

Thanks so much for your perspective! It's inspiring and empowering. I have heard that M4 is the best time to have kids in med school. What was the timing like for your son in M2 and would you recommend that? Also, did you go into med school thinking you would do such a long residency?

It's funny how everyone has their own things that they're worried about. I am not the slightest bit worried about fitting in or making friends. I am worried about dating, given that most of my classmates will be a lot younger and in a different phase of life!

My kids actually have the same birthday, just two years apart (not planned that way). I'm going to be honest, I didn't go into med school thinking I'd have kids there. In fact, the only reason I ended up applying to med school is my husband and I experienced 6 years of infertility after an ectopic, and I was so tired of my life revolving around whether or not I was pregnant each month that I decided to try for the job I had always wanted.

We still wanted kids, so we decided to try during a six month period in M1 and got pregnant with our son the month before we had planned to stop trying. Our daughter I had a 3 month window and ended up pregnant the last month. Fate, I guess. Both kids were born in January. My school started M3 the March of second year, so it was a little stressful, but I was able to pump and keep my son BF until he was 6 months old.

 

[Laterthansooner]

For what it’s worth, if this thread seems quiet it is because we continued several of these conversations in the Facebook group mentioned in Pipette’s message above. (To join, PM her.)

 

[Cheenghee Koh]

To address some fears....... Yes, I did avoid some more competitive residencies that I was interested in due to my age, and no, I don't feel regret or that I settled for something inferior. Yes, you'll fear that residency programs will feel you're too old for them, and no, you're not. Plus, due to your maturity, you'l know to avoid ranking those malignant programs because at this point in your life, you know who you are and what you need from life.
.

Exactly! This is how I feel about the entire medical training at this age (getting close to 40 =) ). I often feel, why bother checking "ranking" all the times and getting worried about so and so getting into the Top 20 and so and so dropping out of the list? Perhaps 20 years ago I may be quite hooked too. But at this stage of life, I know who I am, and what I need. I couldn't care less about those rankings but focus on what I want from those training programs. I know what I want from those schools/programs, and if I don't see them, I am not going, regardless how "highly ranked" they are. To be honest, I am quite surprised by this growing inner strengths. I used to be more sensitive to other peoples' opinions. Oh, those good old days. I am glad that I am no longer that way.

 

[olderbrooklyndoc]

So excited to see this conversation! I'm 31 years old, MS1, single with no kids (not sure if I want them). I'm from NY originally where most people get married older, and my mom was in her late 30s when she had me (and I seem to have turned out okay), so I'm less worried about some of the biological aspects of having kids. Some of my mentors here in school had kids in med school. Many of my classmates (male and female) had kids before they came! For me, I'm just invigorated to be learning so much everyday. There is definitely time to date in medical school, but I agree that I have gotten somewhat pickier in how I allocate my time (some of that is med school; a lot of that is age and experience). Dating is hard, but med school hasn't made it any harder! And, though I don't join my classmates on binge-drinking and clubbing Sat nights, I do feel like I have a strong group of friends, collaborators and colleagues of many ages. Posting here to give some encouragement to all older women who are pursuing there dreams. I am so grateful I killed that inner critical voice telling me I was "too old" to do this.

 

[wholeheartedly]

My kids actually have the same birthday, just two years apart (not planned that way). I'm going to be honest, I didn't go into med school thinking I'd have kids there. In fact, the only reason I ended up applying to med school is my husband and I experienced 6 years of infertility after an ectopic, and I was so tired of my life revolving around whether or not I was pregnant each month that I decided to try for the job I had always wanted.

We still wanted kids, so we decided to try during a six month period in M1 and got pregnant with our son the month before we had planned to stop trying. Our daughter I had a 3 month window and ended up pregnant the last month. Fate, I guess. Both kids were born in January. My school started M3 the March of second year, so it was a little stressful, but I was able to pump and keep my son BF until he was 6 months old.

Hey, glad to see you again. It's been awhile!

 

[PipetteDreams]

For what it’s worth, if this thread seems quiet it is because we continued several of these conversations in the Facebook group mentioned in Pipette’s message above. (To join, PM her.)

Yes! I believe I responded to everyone. Please let me know if you'd like to join, or if I missed you. We have a fun community!

 

[breadlover72]

So firstly, forgive me... I didn't read many of the above replies.

Just here to give my 2 cents - I worked as an RN from 22-27. 27 I started medical school, now I'm 31 and just graduated. I never really cared about my age because ultimately I knew becoming a doctor was a priority over everything else. I have zero regrets and plan to do a competitive IM fellowship (x2) -- I'll be 39 by the time I am finished. Whatever comes in between can happen - family, kids, whatever, it's possible.

I personally don't think any female should worry about age (or specialty to choose) unless starting a family/lifestyle is more important to them.

 

[Fpstmedstudent]

I too am a nontraditional student who left a Fortune 500 company to pursue my dreams of becoming a physician. Took me 3 years of prerequisites and 2 applications cycles (all while working full time) but I was just accepted earlier this month!! I’m 29 and got married last summer to an amazing man who has been nothing but supportive. We both want kids but we’re just gonna see where life takes us. In my opinion, there’s no need to worry about age gaps or when the right time to have kids will be. Be proud of yourself for getting this far! And enjoy it!


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[PossiblyPremed]

Hi everyone. I am so happy to have found this thread. I have been considering a post-bacc program for a few months (I have a lucrative career in a totally unrelated field and do not have a medical background, but like others I am left unfulfilled). I have shadowed and interned with nurses/dentists several years ago, but didn’t feel like it was exactly right for me at the time. Now I am 29, in a serious relationship, no kids. I feel so strongly that becoming an MD is the right path for me, but have concerns about being “older” and not having any kind of medical background. I have just signed up to be a volunteer at a local hospital to gain experience in the medical setting, as I feel like I need to “make sure” this is what I really want to do, even though I already feel so strongly about it. This thread is so inspiring. I actually just signed up a few minutes so I could post a reply here. I tried messaging to find out the name of the closed Facebook group, but for some reason it isn’t letting me send a message to you, Pipette.
I have a very supportive partner, but I am so worried to even mention the possibility of going to med school to my family or friends. It feels kind of silly since I do not have a medical background. Did any of you experience that same anxiety? How did you get over it? I’d likely be 31 (or older) before starting med school since I need to do a post-bacc program. Is there anything else I should be doing before applying for to a post-bacc? I would love to hear any advice from those who attended one. Thank you!!!!!

 

[curbsideconsult]

Hi everyone. I am so happy to have found this thread. I have been considering a post-bacc program for a few months (I have a lucrative career in a totally unrelated field and do not have a medical background, but like others I am left unfulfilled). I have shadowed and interned with nurses/dentists several years ago, but didn’t feel like it was exactly right for me at the time. Now I am 29, in a serious relationship, no kids. I feel so strongly that becoming an MD is the right path for me, but have concerns about being “older” and not having any kind of medical background. I have just signed up to be a volunteer at a local hospital to gain experience in the medical setting, as I feel like I need to “make sure” this is what I really want to do, even though I already feel so strongly about it. This thread is so inspiring. I actually just signed up a few minutes so I could post a reply here. I tried messaging to find out the name of the closed Facebook group, but for some reason it isn’t letting me send a message to you, Pipette.
I have a very supportive partner, but I am so worried to even mention the possibility of going to med school to my family or friends. It feels kind of silly since I do not have a medical background. Did any of you experience that same anxiety? How did you get over it? I’d likely be 31 (or older) before starting med school since I need to do a post-bacc program. Is there anything else I should be doing before applying for to a post-bacc? I would love to hear any advice from those who attended one. Thank you!!!!!

If I had to do it over again, I would have gotten my CNA license and worked as a CNA for a while. You could go more advanced, but that does take some time. Or I would have gone further with my EMT studies to become an EMT-Intermediate or Advanced. It's much easier to find jobs that way.

Volunteering in a hospital is not going to get you the creds you need. It's not a bad thing to do, just don't put all your volunteering eggs in that basket. You don't really get a lot of good experience volunteering in a hospital anyway. If you go the CNA/EMT route, you won't need a lot of clinical volunteering so you can focus your volunteer time on something you're passionate about that is in service to those in need. I would suggest AmeriCorps, but you need to take all the prereqs so AmeriCorps would be difficult to do for you at this time.

You might want to start a separate thread in the Non-Trads forum so you can get further input. Or maybe you found your way in to the FB page and you're getting great advice from there.

 

[Marge3]

I liked hospital volunteering to soak up the atmosphere, watch the system work, and consider whether I could feel comfortable there. I also really got a lot out of shadowing. There are so many ways to practice medicine, and I feel I learned a lot about what suited and what didn't through watching other docs do it their own way. I had a lot of the same anxiety! And a lot of people telling me I was crazy. But in the end, after tons of exposure and research (and even some personality testing) I reflected, and prayed, and decided I really should go for it. Once you're quite sure, people turn their own reactions around pretty quickly! But I still didn't tell anyone but immediate family until I was in (too much to explain too soon!). I'd seek out as much experience and exposure as you can get, and keep testing it, that's what I did!

Hi everyone. I am so happy to have found this thread. I have been considering a post-bacc program for a few months (I have a lucrative career in a totally unrelated field and do not have a medical background, but like others I am left unfulfilled). I have shadowed and interned with nurses/dentists several years ago, but didn’t feel like it was exactly right for me at the time. Now I am 29, in a serious relationship, no kids. I feel so strongly that becoming an MD is the right path for me, but have concerns about being “older” and not having any kind of medical background. I have just signed up to be a volunteer at a local hospital to gain experience in the medical setting, as I feel like I need to “make sure” this is what I really want to do, even though I already feel so strongly about it. This thread is so inspiring. I actually just signed up a few minutes so I could post a reply here. I tried messaging to find out the name of the closed Facebook group, but for some reason it isn’t letting me send a message to you, Pipette.
I have a very supportive partner, but I am so worried to even mention the possibility of going to med school to my family or friends. It feels kind of silly since I do not have a medical background. Did any of you experience that same anxiety? How did you get over it? I’d likely be 31 (or older) before starting med school since I need to do a post-bacc program. Is there anything else I should be doing before applying for to a post-bacc? I would love to hear any advice from those who attended one. Thank you!!!!!

 

[Ad2b]

chiming in: 53, not in med school; 3.97/bombed the MCAT post-Irmageddon + "insert excuses"

Friend of mine is 57 in MS-3 and doing well; has kids, hubby... others love her (hard not to).