Would you female doctors every date or marry a guy who wasn't a doctor? Likely?

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notreallyadoc

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SO...would any of you attractive independent female doctors ever consider dating or even marrying someone who wasn't a doctor? say, a young financial analyst, investment banker, entrepreneur, engineering nerd, or a young corporate lawyer?

what do you all look for in terms of long term relationships? and dont be afraid to say that salary is a decision factor :) ...it's understandable that given your salary potentials, you dont want to be the one paying the bills!
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dude....
 
VoiceofReason said:
dude....
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yeah i know i know, you're gonna say some **** like "IT'S ALL ABOUT YOUR GAME AND PERSONALITY."

yeah well, all that aside, assuming the personality is there. im asking about if female doctors ever walk outside of their community to date anyone else because being stuck with male docs and nurses 80 hours a week is a lot of exposure to the same people in the same profession
 
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notreallyadoc said:
yeah i know i know, you're gonna say some **** like "IT'S ALL ABOUT YOUR GAME AND PERSONALITY."

yeah well, all that aside, assuming the personality is there. im asking about if female doctors ever walk outside of their community to date anyone else because being stuck with male docs and nurses 80 hours a week is a lot of exposure to the same people in the same profession
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i wasnt going to say that at all, playa
 
notreallyadoc said:
SO...would any of you attractive independent female doctors ever consider dating or even marrying someone who wasn't a doctor? say, a young financial analyst, investment banker, entrepreneur, engineering nerd, or a young corporate lawyer?

what do you all look for in terms of long term relationships? and dont be afraid to say that salary is a decision factor :) ...it's understandable that given your salary potentials, you dont want to be the one paying the bills!
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LOL hilarious! As an "attractive(idk?) independent" future female doctor, I am comfortable dating/marrying anybody who I find attractive regardless of their social status. I do not mind making more money as long as the guy does not have any issue with it. I do find confident, established, successful guys more attractive since I tend to value my career a lot and thus look for a guy with similar values. :)
 
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Anything can happen brah.

RoadHouse_Lynch_560x330_MSDROHO_EC050_H-thumb-560xauto-30049.jpg
 
Lol well personally I think it's a bad idea to date within the class. I found my dude outside the medical community. Gives me something to talk about other than medicine all freaking day long.

Besides, it's not like the income caps out with doctors. Other careers make good money, too.
 
My husband is a mechanic and I wouldn't have it any other way. I actually love being with someone who isn't in the medical field. Our personalities balance out very well.
 
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Did you join SDN specifically to find out your chances of marrying a doctor? Lol
 
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metalgirl14 said:
My husband is a mechanic and I wouldn't have it any other way. I actually love being with someone who isn't in the medical field. Our personalities balance out very well.
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My husband's a web designer/graphic artist and I'm right there with you. His job is also really flexible when it comes to working from home which I think will be especially great once I start clerkships and am in residency considering we have kids. I don't give half a rat's ass that I'll wind up making more money.
 
Geekchick921 said:
My husband's a web designer/graphic artist and I'm right there with you. His job is also really flexible when it comes to working from home which I think will be especially great once I start clerkships and am in residency considering we have kids. I don't give half a rat's ass that I'll wind up making more money.
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Seriously. Get one of these guys before it's too late. Who else will take care of your kids when they have ear infections when you're on call? Cheaper than a nanny!
 
I don't plan on marrying a doctor. Given my graduate studies and future academic career, I'd say it's possible I'll marry someone else in mathematics or someone from another part of my life (military...).
 
I married an engineer who loves to cook and clean. :thumbup: He works 40 hours/week and I come home to a delicious dinner on most weeknights. I am very happy to have married outside of medicine--it really helps keep things in perspective.
 
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haha i'd be happy dating any guy who worked in any of those fields that you mentioned - so long as he's not a douchebag. i haven't really dated that many guys in medicine, actually, but my first foray (an EM resident) turned out to be a gigantic failure, so i don't know about that anymore
 
Yes. That way when I come home my mind could be off of medicine.

I really do not care what my future hubby does but he needs to have a good career... he can not work at Wal-Mart but he could be a teacher.
Characteristics
1. I like a guy that is a good listener.
2.Have faith in the christian god.
3. A guy that NOT controlling nor abusive in any manner
4. He doesn't mind sharing household chores ( cooking. cleaning,etc)
 
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In this thread, we rationalize our own choice of mate +/- our happiness with BS statements like "I get to leave medicine at work" or "he/she really understands the demands of the job since he/she is also a doc," when in reality a given pairing is much more dependent on proximity, timing, physical attraction, and, oh, about a billion other factors that are more important to us than whether or not someone has graduated from medical school.

The only arguments that hold any water here whatsoever are (1) the humane work hours and (2) schedule regularity afforded by a non-doc spouse, and this is becoming less and less of an issue with new practice arrangements and residency hour restrictions.

I will say, the best resident of ~50 that I was paired with during third year was an OB/Gyn dating a medicine resident. She was so much better than the rest of her colleagues that it was something of a running joke in the department. Actually, all members of resident-resident couples that I encountered were remarkably strong residents with great knowledge. Not exactly a scientific sampling, but it wouldn't surprise me if it were actually the case.

Iluvcaffeine said:
LOL hilarious! As an "attractive(idk?) independent" future female doctor, I am comfortable dating/marrying anybody who I find attractive regardless of their social status. I do not mind making more money as long as the guy does not have any issue with it. I do find confident, established, successful guys more attractive since I tend to value my career a lot and thus look for a guy with similar values. :)
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Female logic... mind = blown. At least you waited til after the period to start contradicting yourself, I guess.
 
notreallyadoc said:
SO...would any of you attractive independent female doctors ever consider dating or even marrying someone who wasn't a doctor? say, a young financial analyst, investment banker, entrepreneur, engineering nerd, or a young corporate lawyer?

what do you all look for in terms of long term relationships? and dont be afraid to say that salary is a decision factor :) ...it's understandable that given your salary potentials, you dont want to be the one paying the bills!
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Yes.

And I agree with one of the above posters, people will rationalize what they have is what they want but I also think it depends on personal taste. Some prefer like minded (read: fellow classmates/docs/etc) while others don't.

There were some studies done showing (how scientific is debatable) women tend to go for position/power/money while guys go for attractiveness as top factors.

Personally money isn't really an issue, but I aint marrying no couch potato either. I want to say that in theory I'd want to date like minded but in practice I found I match up better with non-med because two super ambitious people can get ...interesting.

I would say I value intellect/personality above all else, but some degree of attractiveness has to be there. If they're smart everything else tends to fall into place. I dated a guy once that couldn't cook but would buy me lunch/take me out, pick me up from school when I was super swamped with tests/school/work. That was a big plus in my book.
 
Lbgem said:
I would say I value intellect/personality above all else, but some degree of attractiveness has to be there. If they're smart everything else tends to fall into place.
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This. I don't really care what field he's in, but he better be able to have an intelligent conversation with me.

I'll probably end up with a doctor for a few reasons: 1) men tend to have issues with women being the bread winners. Not saying all men are like this, but the ones I've dated have been. Maybe I'm just meeting the wrong guys. 2) I don't get out of the medical circle very often, largely because it takes a while before I get confident around people I don't know. Those that I'm friends with outside the field who live in the same town as me are married to or dating someone in my class, and it always feels awkward being the only single person in a group.
 
ScubaStarved said:
In this thread, we rationalize our own choice of mate +/- our happiness with BS statements like "I get to leave medicine at work" or "he/she really understands the demands of the job since he/she is also a doc," when in reality a given pairing is much more dependent on proximity, timing, physical attraction, and, oh, about a billion other factors that are more important to us than whether or not someone has graduated from medical school.
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Hahah well said, sir. I was going to post the exact same thing, but wouldn't have phrased it as eloquently as you.

In effect, the "I love being with someone outside of medicine" comments are asinine.
 
Yea, the whole life/work balance is kinda BS...never heard of an Au Pair or a Nanny?
 
I'm a guy and I refuse to marry a woman who isn't a doctor:cool:
 
I would only date a female doctor, they are the only ones smart enough for me.
 
Jack is Back said:
I would only date a female doctor, they are the only ones smart enough for me.
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Would she have to be AOA and Phi Beta Kappa???? I mean, you would not want to date just an ordinary run of the mill doctor, right?? Would she need to be board certified in a competitive specialty? What is the minimum Step One score that you would find acceptable?
 
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As a future female physician, here are my 2 cents:

Obviously there are many factors to consider and career is only one of them. Regardless of their profession, they still need to be kind, caring, trustworthy and family-oriented. They need to be responsible and mature, and also not be intimidated of my career. They also need to have a personality that compliments my own.

However, if we're just focusing on the career aspect here, all I care about is that he has a respectable career that he enjoys of his own, making an honest living and covering his share of our living expenses. He doesn't need to be a doctor. It's also fine with me if I make more than him, so long as he's not too far behind. Also, at least one of us has to have flexible or regular hours so we can be there for our kids.
 
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yah. i want to marry a female doc.

she must have: step 1 score around 240, mcat 35. interviews well. appreciates diversity and shows empathy. is respectful during peer based learning. engages in many important life changing extracurriculars, like medical spanish for filipinos . most importantly, though, she must understand the importance of professionalism in the interprofessional working environment.

if these requirements are fulfillled, I will accept her to the number one school in the u s of a -- the embrace of my arms.
 
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adaptation1 said:
yah. i want to marry a female doc.

she must have: step 1 score around 240, mcat 35. interviews well. appreciates diversity and shows empathy. is respectful during peer based learning. engages in many important life changing extracurriculars, like medical spanish for filipinos . most importantly, though, she must understand the importance of professionalism in the interprofessional working environment.

if these requirements are fulfillled, I will accept her to the number one school in the u s of a -- the embrace of my arms.
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:laugh: :thumbup:
 
People who don't think men are going to be insecure about having a less prestigious or less lucrative career than their wives need to read an evolutionary psychology textbook. It's human nature.
 
notreallyadoc said:
SO...would any of you attractive independent female doctors ever consider dating or even marrying someone who wasn't a doctor? say, a young financial analyst, investment banker, entrepreneur, engineering nerd, or a young corporate lawyer?

what do you all look for in terms of long term relationships? and dont be afraid to say that salary is a decision factor :) ...it's understandable that given your salary potentials, you dont want to be the one paying the bills!
Click to expand...

Jack is Back said:
I would only date a female doctor, they are the only ones smart enough for me.
Click to expand...

adaptation1 said:
yah. i want to marry a female doc.

she must have: step 1 score around 240, mcat 35. interviews well. appreciates diversity and shows empathy. is respectful during peer based learning. engages in many important life changing extracurriculars, like medical spanish for filipinos . most importantly, though, she must understand the importance of professionalism in the interprofessional working environment.

if these requirements are fulfillled, I will accept her to the number one school in the u s of a -- the embrace of my arms.
Click to expand...
 
Wilf said:
People who don't think men are going to be insecure about having a less prestigious or less lucrative career than their wives need to read an evolutionary psychology textbook. It's human nature.
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You realize there are men (such as myself) who don't mind having a less prestigious or less lucrative career than their wives? In fact, there are many men happily married to such women.
 
Wilf said:
People who don't think men are going to be insecure about having a less prestigious or less lucrative career than their wives need to read an evolutionary psychology textbook. It's human nature.
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Prestige is not a simple linear scale. How does the prestige of a first violinist in a professional symphony orchestra compare to a doctor? How about a city councilman? A small business owner? A stage actor who regularly plays leading roles for professional theater companies? An assistant district attorney? Competitive catamaran sailor? All of these people probably make less money than a typical specialist doctor (possibly excepting the business owner, if his business is particularly successful), but all of them may, in their own professional world, be considered more prestigious.

I would invite you to consider that if you make a few hundred thousand dollars a year, you have the luxury of not needing to find a partner who will be able to financially support the both of you. You can broaden your search, some, and consider a lot of talented, interesting, and accomplished people who have chosen paths that sacrifice high pay for a variety of other payoffs (creative satisfaction, making a difference, personal autonomy, political power, adventure, etc). The difference in lifestyle you'll be able to afford with a household income of, say, three hundred vs five hundred thousand dollars a year isn't really that big, compared to the difference in your life with extra adventure, beauty, excitement, or whatnot that an exciting and different partner can bring you.
 
Narmerguy said:
You realize there are men (such as myself) who don't mind having a less prestigious or less lucrative career than their wives? In fact, there are many men happily married to such women.
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I have a lot of respect for guys like you. I think it shows a lot of self-confidence, which is attractive in its own right.
 
Narmerguy said:
You realize there are men (such as myself) who don't mind having a less prestigious or less lucrative career than their wives? In fact, there are many men happily married to such women.
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What does your girlfriend/wife do that is more prestigious/lucrative than your future career? Or do you mean theoretically you wouldn't mind?
 
Slack3r said:
I'm a guy and I refuse to marry a woman who IS a doctor:cool:
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This is understandable but here are the positives

1-Less nagging hopefully, cause she would understand how busy I am or she would be too busy herself to nag (this may be wishful thinking on my end)-There is a reason why many medical professions have high divorce rates (especially for surgeons)
2-Combined income:cool: I like nice things
 
phltz said:
Prestige is not a simple linear scale. How does the prestige of a first violinist in a professional symphony orchestra compare to a doctor? How about a city councilman? A small business owner? A stage actor who regularly plays leading roles for professional theater companies? An assistant district attorney? Competitive catamaran sailor? All of these people probably make less money than a typical specialist doctor (possibly excepting the business owner, if his business is particularly successful), but all of them may, in their own professional world, be considered more prestigious.
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:thumbup:

Worth repeating.
 
SlickNickMD said:
This is understandable but here are the positives

1-Less nagging hopefully, cause she would understand how busy I am or she would be too busy herself to nag (this may be wishful thinking on my end)-There is a reason why many medical professions have high divorce rates (especially for surgeons)
2-Combined income:cool: I like nice things
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lol!

If anything, there would be more nagging. Women in medicine are very demanding and expect the world from people because they expect a lot of people at work as well. Never expect less nagging.
 
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