Write an Osteopathic Rejection Letter

[DropkickMurphy]

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Feel free to write one for yourself:

Dear Mr. Murphy:
We are sorry to inform you that we see through you're feigned interest in osteopathic medicine as anything other than an attempt to become a *gasp* physician. We only admit those who fully buy into the difference and want to be osteopathic physicians, not just physicians.

Sincerely,

Backwoods SOM Admissions Committee
Podunk, Kentucky




Or for another:

Dear CommanderRiker,
Bitch please. We have standards.

The PCOM Admissions Committee

 

[nascardoc]

Feel free to write one for yourself:

Dear Mr. Murphy:
We are sorry to inform you that we see through you're feigned interest in osteopathic medicine as anything other than an attempt to become a *gasp* physician. We only admit those who fully buy into the difference and want to be osteopathic physicians, not just physicians.

Sincerely,

Backwoods SOM Admissions Committee
Podunk, Kentucky




Or for another:

Dear CommanderRiker,
Bitch please. We have standards.

The PCOM Admissions Committee

😆 😆 😆 Best post I've seen in awhile. But you forgot...

P.S. No, rubbing your Seven of Nine blow up doll is not considered OMM.

 

[DoctorMom78]

😱 😆

 

[StringerBell]

Hey Nascardoc,
Jack Bauer says he's fine, and doesn't need any medical attention, and he needs to go interrogate the prisoner.

 

[Toohotinvegas33]

Dear CommanderRiker,
Bitch please. We have standards.

The PCOM Admissions Committee

Thank you, that made my week.😆

 

[Toohotinvegas33]

I also want to say goodbye to DKM, because as soon as Nate wakes up he might place the "account or hold" title on you.

 

[Punchap]

Dear Punchap,

What kind of name is that anyway? We have received an overwhelming number of applications this year for entrance into SOMECOM and regret to inform you that you and your sub-par GPA/MCAT scores did not make the cut, even for an URM. Best of luck.

Sincerely,
Admissions Committee of SOMECOM

 

[DropkickMurphy]

I also want to say goodbye to DKM, because as soon as Nate wakes up he might place the "account or hold" title on you.

I hope not....

 

[Dr.Inviz]

.

 

[Dr.Inviz]

I also want to say goodbye to DKM, because as soon as Nate wakes up he might place the "account or hold" title on you.

Hence why I deleted my own rejection letter post, don't want another hold. Not yet, anyways.

 

[spicedmanna]

Or for another:

Dear CommanderRiker,
Bitch please. We have standards.

The PCOM Admissions Committee

😆 🙄 😆

 

[Pansit]

I guess you people have never heard of an old saying that goes:

"Be careful what you wish for"...don't be surprised if in 5 months these "rejection letters" actually ends up in your mailbox......good luck👍

 

[Dr JPH]

Dear CommanderRiker,
Bitch please. We have standards.

The PCOM Admissions Committee

Close...but I think I signed this one personally.

 

[MaximusD]

oh good god that's hilarious

Riker do you have a facebook acct?

 

[CommanderRiker]

Dear CommanderRiker,
Bitch please. We have standards.

The PCOM Admissions Committee

I seriously suggest rectifying this post, as it is flagrantly in violation of terms of service guidelines. And in any case we allopathic-rejects must bind together, not be quarrelsome. Come, let's be friends, as two great leaders of the world have. 😎

 

[Dr JPH]

I seriously suggest rectifying this post, as it is flagrantly in violation of terms of service guidelines. And in any case we allopathic-rejects must bind together, not be quarrelsome. Come, let's be friends, as two great leaders of the world have. 😎

I dont know. I thinks its appropriate.

Afterall, that IS the exact text from the letter. DKM is simply quoting a source, which he cited. No plagiarism there.

But then again, Riker is going to go tell the Mods anyway. 🙁

 

[CommanderRiker]

But then again, Riker is going to go tell the Mods anyway. 🙁

To serve and protect, that's what any police is for. 😀

 

[StringerBell]

Dear Mr. Bell,
We regret to inform you that we will not be able to offer you a position in ANYCOM's Class of 2011. Although you are clearly qualified, not to mention witty beyond belief, the admissions committee feels that it would be beneficial to the class to not have to see you shirtless in OMM lab. This is by no means reflective upon your qualifications for medical school, but we receive over 5,000 applicants for 150 positions, all of whom have nicer bodies than you. We wish you luck on any future endeavors into the medical profession, so long as they be fully clothed.

Sincerely,
ANYCOM Admissions Committee

 

[Dr JPH]

To serve and protect, that's what any police is for. 😀

You need to be protected?

 

[Punchap]

Dear Mr. Bell,
We regret to inform you that we will not be able to offer you a position in ANYCOM's Class of 2011. Although you are clearly qualified, not to mention witty beyond belief, the admissions committee feels that it would be beneficial to the class to not have to see you shirtless in OMM lab. This is by no means reflective upon your qualifications for medical school, but we receive over 5,000 applicants for 150 positions, all of whom have nicer bodies than you. We wish you luck on any future endeavors into the medical profession, so long as they be fully clothed.

Sincerely,
ANYCOM Admissions Committee

Love it. I guess I should start working out now in hopes of admission for 2008.

 

[MaximusD]

I seriously suggest rectifying this post, as it is flagrantly in violation of terms of service guidelines. And in any case we allopathic-rejects must bind together, not be quarrelsome. Come, let's be friends, as two great leaders of the world have. 😎

http://caracaschronicles.blogspot.com/uploaded_images/Chavez%20Ahmedinejad-757751.jpg

[Riker]

Dear Mr. Maximus D,

After careless review of your application, we thought that it would be best used as a paper airplane. This use of your credentials for the purpose of humor at your expense has served the medical community far more than would your capabilities.

Without ill-advised applicants such as yourself, our lives would be far less enjoyable. Although we are certain that it is highly unlikely that any other even quazi-respectable medical school has taken your application seriously, we wish you the best of luck in all future endeavors, as unpromising as they may be. If you have any questions or would like to seek suggestions, please contact the admissions office. They have been instructed to promptly forward you to the the local waste management company for additional employment opportunities.

Best Regards,

Felicity O. Shagwell, D.O., FUBAR
Director of Admissions, FCOM

 

[DoctorMom78]

😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 🙄 I FREAKIN LOVE THIS THREAD!!!!

 

[Lfribble]

This thread is awesome!

 

[DoctorMom78]

Hence why I deleted my own rejection letter post, don't want another hold. Not yet, anyways.

Chicken! I read your letter and it wasn't that bad.😉

 

[MaximusD]

Chicken! I read your letter and it wasn't that bad.😉

Mine is really not funny but oh well... damn premed curriculum has annihilated my sense of humor 🙁

 

[DoctorMom78]

Mine is really not funny but oh well... damn premed curriculum has annihilated my sense of humor 🙁

LOL! I thought it was funny.

 

[Dr.Inviz]

Chicken! I read your letter and it wasn't that bad.😉

I typed a better one, but SDN f-ked it up. I don't give a **** enough to retype it.

 

[DocBR]

😆 😆 😆 Best post I've seen in awhile. But you forgot...

P.S. No, rubbing your Seven of Nine blow up doll is not considered OMM.

That actually made me laugh out loud, and then I became depressed because I understood that joke.

 

[DoctorMom78]

That actually made me laugh out loud, and then I became depressed because I understood that joke.

That's ok. I got it too.🙄

 

[Tiagao]

Dear Tiagao,














Anti-T SOM
(p.s. we figured if we didn't send you anything, you'd figure it out. )

 

[DoctorMom78]

Dear Tiagao,














Anti-T SOM
(p.s. we figured if we didn't send you anything, you'd figure it out. )

LMFAO!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! 😆 😆 😆 😆

That is pretty d@mn funny!

 

[DropkickMurphy]

To serve and protect, that's what any police is for. 😀

Yes, but I didn't get in trouble for it. I guess that shows you what being at least somewhat well liked will do for you. God bless Queen Nepotism. Long may she reign.

 

[StringerBell]

Dear Mr./Ms. Bell,
We regret to inform you that we will be unable to offer you a seat in SOCOM's Class of 2011. While we appreciate your well-crafted personal statement about why the eye fascinates you, and while your OAT scores are impressive, SOCOM is simply not a School of Optometry. Furthermore, D.O. does not stand for Doctor of Optometry. If you feel that this is in error, please contact our admissions department to begin the appeals process. However, we feel that it would be more beneficial to you to attend an actual School of Optometry if you wish to, as you put it, "realize my lifelong goal of spreading the gift of clear vision to the underserved."
We wish you good luck on your future endeavors into Optometry. For future reference, please see the following link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_of_Osteopathy


Regards,
SOCOM Admissions Committee

P.S. Your enclosed copy of your performance of "I Can See Clearly Now" has become property of SOCOM, along with the rest of your application materials, and cannot be returned.

 

[StringerBell]

P.S. No, rubbing your Seven of Nine blow up doll is not considered OMM.

You brought it up, so I have to say it.
(Old Trekkie Joke...)

"Damn, if she's only a 7 of 9, I'd like to see what a 9/9 looks like!"

 

[doc1228]

Dear Doc,
We would like to thank you for sending your application to [insert school name]. We appreciate it as we are currently suffering from a toilet paper shortage.

[insert poop smear]


Thank you for giving us something to wipe our a$$es with. Please notice also that our $hit does not stink. Best of luck in the future.


Sincerely,
Dingleberry-free Admissions Committee members

PS. Next time do not use the admissions office bathroom it will increase your chance for admission considering your $hit does stink.

 

[Marthea007]

Dear Marthea007.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No.


Sincerely,

HERECOM Admissions Committee.

 

[spicedmanna]

Dear Marthea007.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No.


Sincerely,

HERECOM Admissions Committee.

😆 that's a good one; it's the tone I sometimes imagine is under some of the rejection letters I did receive.

 

[doc1228]

Dear Doc,
I threw rock....He threw paper.
TOO BAD

Sincerely,
Admissions Committee of SOMECOM

 

[madscientist50]

Dear Mr. Madscientist,

We regret to inform you that your thesis advisor was correct and you threw away your chance at a PhD for a "long shot fool hardy dream". Thanks for sending us $50 bucks to make you wait anxiously and then allow us to further kick you in the groin metaphorically by sending you this kind letter.


Sincerely,
Dean of Admissions

Blank-COM

 

[clc8503]

Or for another:[/B]

Dear CommanderRiker,
Bitch please. We have standards.

The PCOM Admissions Committee

hahahahahaha😀 ha

 

[Onstarr]

Dear Doc,
I threw rock....He threw paper.
TOO BAD

Sincerely,
Admissions Committee of SOMECOM

awesome

 

[BeatrixKiddo]

sdear Beatrix
We regret to inform you that you sucks and ur mom will hate you forever for not mbeing a doctor good bye cruel world.

 

[CatsandCradles]

Dear Mr. Bell,
We regret to inform you that we will not be able to offer you a position in ANYCOM's Class of 2011. Although you are clearly qualified, not to mention witty beyond belief, the admissions committee feels that it would be beneficial to the class to not have to see you shirtless in OMM lab. This is by no means reflective upon your qualifications for medical school, but we receive over 5,000 applicants for 150 positions, all of whom have nicer bodies than you. We wish you luck on any future endeavors into the medical profession, so long as they be fully clothed.

Sincerely,
ANYCOM Admissions Committee

Oh my!

 

[Ki45toryu]

You guys are crackin me up.

 

[Oculus Sinistra]

Feel free to write one for yourself:

Dear Oculus:

We regret to inform you that we cannot offer you admission to the College of Osteopathic Medicine.

You know how sometimes two people who have been together a long long time finally realize that a fish and a bird can never truly be happy?

It's because they're from different worlds, Oculus. Different.

Sincerely,

Bernard Q. Dankdale COM Admissions Committee
Old Dog, Idaho

P.S. Hint: One is made of water, one is made of air.



It's probably for the best. I really don't know much about either ornithology or icthyology and they seem pretty big on that there.

 

[Lfribble]

Dear Lfribble,

Because we received your application to ThisCOM on April 1st, we have assumed it is a joke. Well quite honestly we are hoping it was a joke and you don't actually think you stand a chance. Thank you for the laugh.

Sincerely,

ThisCOM Admission Committee

 

[jp104]

OMGHI2U JP104!!!one!11!

Tks 4 ur appz 4 teh L337COM Cl4ss of 2011. J00 suxorz, srsly. LAWLZ!

51nc3r3ly,
Pwn McR0xor, DO, FACOFP

 

[med-i-cal]

Dear Generic Applicant,

We give you an "A" for effort, which judging from your transcript is the only A you are likely to receive. Since seeing that letter anywhere in reference to your name is likely to be foreign and confusing, we give your application a grade to which you are more accustomed. We are pleased to announce that your application has failed. Don't you feel better now? As Osteopathic physicians, we care about people, hence our "applicant-centered" approach to this letter. Good luck in your future failur....endeavours.

Patronizing-COM

 

[grinchick5]

Dear Grinchick,

We read first page of your application, so we know you’re a chick. But damn girl, you’ve got balls.

Thanks for the application fee.

Sincerely,
XCOM admissions committee

 

[Faraaz23]

Dear Faraaz23:

We regret to inform you that we can't figure out why the hell you people won't go into anything but medicine and engineering. We're afraid if we take any more of you brown people, we won't be able to shake the smell of curry from the anatomy lab.

-COM Admissions
PS- The embroidery shop can't fit all 13 syllables of your last name on a white coat anyway.