ha I read it as b*tch please
Write your own rejection letter
- Thread starter swifteagle43
- Start date
ha I read it as b*tch please
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No!
Yours Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith, Admissions Director.
Yours Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith, Admissions Director.
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- Aug 16, 2007
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Dear Applicant,
We regret to inform you that you have wasted the last 4 years (if not more) of your life. Anyone would come to this conclusion after browsing your AMCAS application (you don't think we actually read them do you?). And no (you caught us!) we in fact did not bother to read the essays you submitted.
We are sorry that as a lower tier medical school, this rejection ultimately means you will never achieve your dreams.
We use the word never, because even we, the lower tier admissions committee, do not have the heart to take another $75 from you. Please do not reapply. We realize that our medical school admissions webpage encourages reapplicants, however, this does not pertain to you.
Please do us all a favor and do not become the burden to society that we envision you to become.
Sincerely,
The lower tier ADCOM of a lower tier medical school
We regret to inform you that you have wasted the last 4 years (if not more) of your life. Anyone would come to this conclusion after browsing your AMCAS application (you don't think we actually read them do you?). And no (you caught us!) we in fact did not bother to read the essays you submitted.
We are sorry that as a lower tier medical school, this rejection ultimately means you will never achieve your dreams.
We use the word never, because even we, the lower tier admissions committee, do not have the heart to take another $75 from you. Please do not reapply. We realize that our medical school admissions webpage encourages reapplicants, however, this does not pertain to you.
Please do us all a favor and do not become the burden to society that we envision you to become.
Sincerely,
The lower tier ADCOM of a lower tier medical school
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Dear shiftingmirage,
We realize that you are a god and it is not necessary for you to attend our medical school, or any other, because you are, in fact, a god. Since you are so obviously overqualified, we will be granting you a Doctor of Medicine degree. Expect its arrival within the next two weeks.
Good luck in your career as a physician,
John Hopkins University
We realize that you are a god and it is not necessary for you to attend our medical school, or any other, because you are, in fact, a god. Since you are so obviously overqualified, we will be granting you a Doctor of Medicine degree. Expect its arrival within the next two weeks.
Good luck in your career as a physician,
John Hopkins University
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Dear Applicant,
Congratulations, you have been accepted to our medical school. Stand tall and be proud! Unfortunately, we can not at this time or in the foreseeable future divulge the location of our school to you. This is for security purposes only. Please do not call or write to obtain the location, as this will take time from our overworked staff. Please reserve your seat by paying the entire tuition deposit via paypal. By paying these fees you have earned the right to call yourself a medical student, however we give you no guarantee that you will ever be able to practice as a medical doctor. Since we cannot welcome you to our premises we advise you to self-study and and register for your boards in 2 years and 11 months. Congratulations and good luck.
Chancellor Stewart
Stewart University New Scotland International School of Medicine
Congratulations, you have been accepted to our medical school. Stand tall and be proud! Unfortunately, we can not at this time or in the foreseeable future divulge the location of our school to you. This is for security purposes only. Please do not call or write to obtain the location, as this will take time from our overworked staff. Please reserve your seat by paying the entire tuition deposit via paypal. By paying these fees you have earned the right to call yourself a medical student, however we give you no guarantee that you will ever be able to practice as a medical doctor. Since we cannot welcome you to our premises we advise you to self-study and and register for your boards in 2 years and 11 months. Congratulations and good luck.
Chancellor Stewart
Stewart University New Scotland International School of Medicine
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Or even better...
Dear Applicant,
We have received your application and it is currently under review. Unfortunately you have forgotten to pay certain fees associated with this review. We have on file that you have already paid the $75 application viewing fee, but you have not submitted the $300 electricity fee, the $100 ethernet fee, and the $7500 Mall Lot rent fee. Without paying these in full, Stewart NSISOM will not have the necessary resources to fully review your credentials.
We expect full payment via paypal in a timely matter or we will no longer be able to consider you for a position in the 2008 class.
Thank you,
Chancellor Stewart
-- 10 seconds after you pay the $7900 on Paypal --
Dear [mispelled version of your name],
We regret to inform you that we will not be able to offer you a spot in the Stewart University New Scotland International School of Medicine incoming class of 2008. We received many qualified applications this year, and as we are the #1 ranked school of medicine, competition was steep. We urge you to reapply (you do not even have to wait a full academic year as we have a new class that starts in January as well). All inquiries about our application process must be asked in person, however unfortunately we cannot disclose our location at this time.
Go in Muslim peace,
Chancellor Stewart
Dear Applicant,
We have received your application and it is currently under review. Unfortunately you have forgotten to pay certain fees associated with this review. We have on file that you have already paid the $75 application viewing fee, but you have not submitted the $300 electricity fee, the $100 ethernet fee, and the $7500 Mall Lot rent fee. Without paying these in full, Stewart NSISOM will not have the necessary resources to fully review your credentials.
We expect full payment via paypal in a timely matter or we will no longer be able to consider you for a position in the 2008 class.
Thank you,
Chancellor Stewart
-- 10 seconds after you pay the $7900 on Paypal --
Dear [mispelled version of your name],
We regret to inform you that we will not be able to offer you a spot in the Stewart University New Scotland International School of Medicine incoming class of 2008. We received many qualified applications this year, and as we are the #1 ranked school of medicine, competition was steep. We urge you to reapply (you do not even have to wait a full academic year as we have a new class that starts in January as well). All inquiries about our application process must be asked in person, however unfortunately we cannot disclose our location at this time.
Go in Muslim peace,
Chancellor Stewart
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Dear BG,
Before you open this envelope, you should lick it and sniff glue from it. To ease your pain, we coated your rejection envelop with a glue containing a potent hallucinogen paid for by your application fee. But I guess you couldn't have read our instructions before actually opening the envelope.
AdCom
Before you open this envelope, you should lick it and sniff glue from it. To ease your pain, we coated your rejection envelop with a glue containing a potent hallucinogen paid for by your application fee. But I guess you couldn't have read our instructions before actually opening the envelope.
AdCom
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- Joined
- Aug 23, 2007
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Dear BG,
You are the weakest link. Good bye!
Adcom
You are the weakest link. Good bye!
Adcom
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2008
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Dear Applicant,
After a brief, but all-too-long, glance at your application, it is our esteemed joy to inform you that we cannot (read: will not) offer you a seat in our incoming class. We can assure you that your application was given far less consideration than any other (C'mon, LOST was on!) and we value you as an applicant as much as we do a log of fecal matter. We are currently hard at work with Dr. Emmett Brown in an effort to get our De Lorean up to 88mph and travel back to 1986 so we can convince your mother and father not to get freak nasty and conceive you. If this does not work, a representative of our University will be arriving at your residence in 7-10 days to punch your mother in the uterus and your father in the groin as just punishment.
Thanks for the $100 sucka!
Hugs and Kisses,
School
After a brief, but all-too-long, glance at your application, it is our esteemed joy to inform you that we cannot (read: will not) offer you a seat in our incoming class. We can assure you that your application was given far less consideration than any other (C'mon, LOST was on!) and we value you as an applicant as much as we do a log of fecal matter. We are currently hard at work with Dr. Emmett Brown in an effort to get our De Lorean up to 88mph and travel back to 1986 so we can convince your mother and father not to get freak nasty and conceive you. If this does not work, a representative of our University will be arriving at your residence in 7-10 days to punch your mother in the uterus and your father in the groin as just punishment.
Thanks for the $100 sucka!
Hugs and Kisses,
School
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- May 5, 2005
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Dear zahque -
We saw how you finished out the Cardio theme last week. Your application is being withdrawn from consideration, retroactive to two and a half years ago. This is why pencils have erasers.
Sincerely,
AMC AdCom
We saw how you finished out the Cardio theme last week. Your application is being withdrawn from consideration, retroactive to two and a half years ago. This is why pencils have erasers.
Sincerely,
AMC AdCom
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- Dec 14, 2006
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Dear underpressure,
We would have let you in, but you didn't eat the poop hot dog.
-adcom
We would have let you in, but you didn't eat the poop hot dog.
-adcom
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2008
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Dear Jelly476,
It is with great pleasure and pride that I am writing to inform you of your rejection from XYZ University College of Medicine. My heart is bursting with joy that you will not be attending our esteemed institution. This year we recieved more than 30,000 applications, and while we interviewed more than 1000 qualified applicants, I thank God everyday that you were not one of them. As you were such an esteemed and qualified rejectee, I am taking the time to personally write this letter to you.
Think of it as winning the silver medal. You almost made it. No one finished ahead of you. You are the first loser. You came in ahead of all of those that were rejected. And you can frame this letter and hang it in your office at the municipal dump and declare, "I almost did it." Congratulations on your failure Jelly476, and I wish you all the best in your future career in waste management.
Sincerely,
Lord Vandelay the 4th, Undersecretary to the assistant general Dean of Admissions
It is with great pleasure and pride that I am writing to inform you of your rejection from XYZ University College of Medicine. My heart is bursting with joy that you will not be attending our esteemed institution. This year we recieved more than 30,000 applications, and while we interviewed more than 1000 qualified applicants, I thank God everyday that you were not one of them. As you were such an esteemed and qualified rejectee, I am taking the time to personally write this letter to you.
Think of it as winning the silver medal. You almost made it. No one finished ahead of you. You are the first loser. You came in ahead of all of those that were rejected. And you can frame this letter and hang it in your office at the municipal dump and declare, "I almost did it." Congratulations on your failure Jelly476, and I wish you all the best in your future career in waste management.
Sincerely,
Lord Vandelay the 4th, Undersecretary to the assistant general Dean of Admissions
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Dear RPedigo,
We regret to inform you that we will be unable to offer you a place in our Class of 2012. Although you were very qualified, you haven't run any marathons, you aren't a concert pianist, and you don't play any D1 sports. We don't care if that will make you a good physician or not, but we needed something cool to put on our promotional pamphlets for next year. I'm sure you understand.
Sincerely,
The Committee on Admissions
We regret to inform you that we will be unable to offer you a place in our Class of 2012. Although you were very qualified, you haven't run any marathons, you aren't a concert pianist, and you don't play any D1 sports. We don't care if that will make you a good physician or not, but we needed something cool to put on our promotional pamphlets for next year. I'm sure you understand.
Sincerely,
The Committee on Admissions
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- Nov 28, 2005
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2/17/2012
Dear Maxprime,
After receiving your application for our residency program, we realized that we never even bothered to have the common courtesy to send you a rejection letter for our MD program 4 years ago. Needless to say, we apologize and have rectified the flaws in our system. This is your official notification that we are rejecting your sorry ***. In case there were any doubts lingering, this is for both residency and our medical school.
Stay positive,
We'll never meet each other.
Dear Maxprime,
After receiving your application for our residency program, we realized that we never even bothered to have the common courtesy to send you a rejection letter for our MD program 4 years ago. Needless to say, we apologize and have rectified the flaws in our system. This is your official notification that we are rejecting your sorry ***. In case there were any doubts lingering, this is for both residency and our medical school.
Stay positive,
We'll never meet each other.
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Robert Wood Johnson emailed me a rejection today....wtf
They sent this crappy email with a stupid pdf attachment of a generic rejection letter...and it was scanned crooked.
Dear Stupid,
Despite your $70 check, we dont care enough to send personalized rejection so here's a crappy, crooked generic scan of a rejection letter...and yes that's a mayonnaise stain in the lower left corner.
Sincerely,
RWJ
PS Stop calling us
PPS No really, stop calling its getting creepy
They sent this crappy email with a stupid pdf attachment of a generic rejection letter...and it was scanned crooked.
Dear Stupid,
Despite your $70 check, we dont care enough to send personalized rejection so here's a crappy, crooked generic scan of a rejection letter...and yes that's a mayonnaise stain in the lower left corner.
Sincerely,
RWJ
PS Stop calling us
PPS No really, stop calling its getting creepy
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2007
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haha! 👍
i got a scanned rejection from another school. we don't even deserve our own piece of paper!
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2006
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- 1,588
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Dear Applicant,
Not only will we NOT accept you, we won't accept your kids, your grandkids, your relatives, and your relatives' kids.
Sincerely,
Admissions Committee
PS, Thanks for the application fees.
Not only will we NOT accept you, we won't accept your kids, your grandkids, your relatives, and your relatives' kids.
Sincerely,
Admissions Committee
PS, Thanks for the application fees.
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- Sep 17, 2007
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Post it, I wanna see.
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- Oct 22, 2007
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- 307
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Im not posting it. Suffice to say it was a crappy way to notify a candidate of a rejection. I was really excited when I got the email b/c i thought it was an interview invite. I really like RWJ and the entire staff at the admissions office was always very nice to me on the phone. The school impressed me big time. Big let down when I opened it.
The mayonnaise stain was an embellishment. But it was a crappy scan of a generic letter.
BMBPSU2008 - congratulations on the accept, I've got some friends heading there next year.
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- Oct 18, 2007
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Dear Mr. Foster,
This would be your rejection letter, if we bothered to send them out.
Sincerely,
Northwestern University
This would be your rejection letter, if we bothered to send them out.
Sincerely,
Northwestern University
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2007
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Dear Sarty24,
Thanks for playing.
Thanks for playing.
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2008
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personal favorite: no letter, no email, no notification. I just checked on a school one day and saw one word in place of my normal "secondary complete" status: DENIED. That's it.
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- Feb 21, 2008
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.... but, seriously, aww
Don't feel too bad...it didn't hurt since I've already gotten into a school I prefer over that one, so I just laughed when I saw it.
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- Oct 26, 2007
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Dear MDHopeful08,
Why?
P.S. This is a rhetorical question. You're rejected big time.
Sincerely,
Office of Admissions
X School of Medicine
Why?
P.S. This is a rhetorical question. You're rejected big time.
Sincerely,
Office of Admissions
X School of Medicine
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- Jun 4, 2007
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1
191159
Dear maikuMD
Remember that time Frodo dropped the ring into Cracks of Doom? If only Sam had carried your fat*** up there we could have killed two birds with one stone. Pity.
Adcom
Remember that time Frodo dropped the ring into Cracks of Doom? If only Sam had carried your fat*** up there we could have killed two birds with one stone. Pity.
Adcom
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2007
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Surf,
We have reviewed your application on numerous occasions. This is mostly because we get depressed thinking about how many competitive applications we have to look through still and you always make us laugh.
Yours,
Adcom
We have reviewed your application on numerous occasions. This is mostly because we get depressed thinking about how many competitive applications we have to look through still and you always make us laugh.
Yours,
Adcom
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2008
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Dear Student,
We are sorry but unable to offer you admissions to School X. Also, School Y and School Z, would also like to express their regret. School Y and Z did not want to waste the postage on such a lackluster applicant and so asked us to help out. Consider this a three for one offer, well actually more like a three for not you offer.
Best,
School X, Y, and Z.
We are sorry but unable to offer you admissions to School X. Also, School Y and School Z, would also like to express their regret. School Y and Z did not want to waste the postage on such a lackluster applicant and so asked us to help out. Consider this a three for one offer, well actually more like a three for not you offer.
Best,
School X, Y, and Z.
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2008
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- Joined
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Too too funny.
Dear applicant,
Congratulations! After reviewing you application, we would like to extend a warm invitiation to you to join our medical school! Please go to our web site for additional information.
Sincerely,
ADCOM
P.S. April Fools
Congratulations! After reviewing you application, we would like to extend a warm invitiation to you to join our medical school! Please go to our web site for additional information.
Sincerely,
ADCOM
P.S. April Fools
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2007
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LMAO 👍
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- Jun 4, 2007
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Dear Applicant,
In some extraordinary circumstances which occur every decade or so, we encounter an applicant so worthy that we accept them upfront with no interview required. But that isn't the case for you, because you're rejected.
Sincerely,
Admissions Office at SYD (school of your dreams)
In some extraordinary circumstances which occur every decade or so, we encounter an applicant so worthy that we accept them upfront with no interview required. But that isn't the case for you, because you're rejected.
Sincerely,
Admissions Office at SYD (school of your dreams)
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I got a bunch to add, unfortunately I may kill some with the clarifications....
#1:
Waa wa weee wa,
Dis suit... is NOT black!
Your Application is accepted....NOT!
Respect.
#2:
Dear matric,
Congratulations!!! We are pleased to inform you that the Committee on Admissions at our University has reached a decision on your application.
Please call (212) 479-7990 for more information.
Sincerely yours,
ADCOM Dean
[NYC rejection hotline, try it]
#3:
Dear Mr. ASAP,
Go SCREW!
[any O & A fans?]
#4:
Dear matric,
Enclosed with this letter you will find 4 items which you will need to use in the correct order as a final step for admission to our Medical School:
1. The anatomy book you will use only once to find the best locations for IV drug injection and gun barrel placement
2. A pamphlet on suicide
3. A syringe with enough heroin to kill a horse
4. A 9mm gun loaded with 1 bullet
I guess we gave it away by numbering them....oh well....
Enjoy the good drugs!
-Dean of Admissions.
#5:
dear you,
yikes.
-us
#6: for those of us w. e-rejects:
Dear matric,
We are pleased to inform you that the Committee on Admissions has reached a decision on your application.
Please go here for our decision: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU&fmt=7
Sincerely,
Dean Rick
#1:
Waa wa weee wa,
Dis suit... is NOT black!
Your Application is accepted....NOT!
Respect.
#2:
Dear matric,
Congratulations!!! We are pleased to inform you that the Committee on Admissions at our University has reached a decision on your application.
Please call (212) 479-7990 for more information.
Sincerely yours,
ADCOM Dean
[NYC rejection hotline, try it]
#3:
Dear Mr. ASAP,
Go SCREW!
[any O & A fans?]
#4:
Dear matric,
Enclosed with this letter you will find 4 items which you will need to use in the correct order as a final step for admission to our Medical School:
1. The anatomy book you will use only once to find the best locations for IV drug injection and gun barrel placement
2. A pamphlet on suicide
3. A syringe with enough heroin to kill a horse
4. A 9mm gun loaded with 1 bullet
I guess we gave it away by numbering them....oh well....
Enjoy the good drugs!
-Dean of Admissions.
#5:
dear you,
yikes.
-us
#6: for those of us w. e-rejects:
Dear matric,
We are pleased to inform you that the Committee on Admissions has reached a decision on your application.
Please go here for our decision: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU&fmt=7
Sincerely,
Dean Rick
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2007
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- 11
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- 0
Dear Sir,
Really?
Sincerely,
Committee
Really?
Sincerely,
Committee
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2007
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- 11
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- 0
Dear Sir,
We regret to inform you we are no longer accepting white males until 2035 (at which point the medical field subsequently collapses when we have reached equality in the world of medicine).
Sincerely,
COMMITTEE
We regret to inform you we are no longer accepting white males until 2035 (at which point the medical field subsequently collapses when we have reached equality in the world of medicine).
Sincerely,
COMMITTEE
