Write your own rejection letter

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This is not a fake rejection... this is from my real rejection from BU (I am even an undergrad there getting a BA/MA but nope, a rejection).

Dear Applicant,

Blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah... We assure you that we are just as disspointed about this decision as you are. Blah blah, blah.

BU

Seriously? Do you think you're just as dissapointed? Thanks BU, hope you enjoyed by 160k in tuition and that nice application fee!! 🙂
 
Dear Arrugula2,

The School of Your Dreams has received many competitive applications this year, and we regret to inform you that we will not be able to interview you. The problem, if you really want to know, is that your application is just not what we in Admissions call "good". In fact, we were a little bit insulted by the idea that we would even consider such an un-"good" application.

In order to preserve our selective reputation and high US News ranking, the admissions office has decided to put an automatic and permanent "hold" on any applications received from any of your descendants (for the next two generations), anyone of the same or similar last name, and anyone from the same state as you. We nonetheless encourage these people to send in the $130 application fee.

Sincerely,
School of Your Dreams
 
Dear Benz,


Rejected. Who's your daddy!!?



Sincerely,

x school of your dreamz
 
Dear Mr. Oon,

Congratulations. We are pleased to offer you acceptance to the Keck School of Medicine at the University of Southern California.

Regards,

David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA.
 
We apologize that there was no room for you in our 2009 matriculating class. Please accept this $200,000 check as a token of our appreciation for your interest in our school.
 
Dear Sir,

The members of the admissions commitee join me in proudly extending to you an offer to suck it.

XXX School of Medicine is a world leader in medical research and clinical training... You should be greatly honored by this offer and we look forward to you joining us in this momentous step in your illustrious career.

Sincerely,

Faye Gettaboutit, MD
 
Dear cubssox

No, never, nyet, nien, prohibido.

Based on your application, this is how many times and ways we have to tell you something.

Good luck ever getting someone to hire you.

Dean of Your Dream School
 
I didn't read the rest, so I'm sorry if this was done before.

Dear alehar,

We would like to congratulate you on being accep... oh wait, it says here you're male, middle class, and white. Nevermind.

-Med School
 
Loon said:
Dear Mr. Oon,

Congratulations. We are pleased to offer you acceptance to the Keck School of Medicine at the University of Southern California.

Regards,

David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA.
Click to expand...

Nice 👍
 
August 19, 2009

Dear singularity2012,

After several months of painstakingly careful and thoughtful consideration of your application to Douche College of Medicine, I regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you a place in our 2009 entering class.

We very much appreciate the time and effort you have spent crafting and compiling your application, and the interest you have shown in DCM. Although your research, medical, and extracurricular endeavors may or may not be strong indicators of your success as a physician, we must rely on other measures - namely, MCAT scores and grade point averages - for a more thorough and objective evaluation of your application. Such a painstakingly comprehensive assessment of your candidacy has led us to conclude that your application does not meet our criteria for admission.

Again, I can assure you that your application was considered with undue care despite this disappointing outcome.

We do hope that you will find the opportunities you seek for medical school and beyond, and appreciate the chance we have had to learn something about you. Please be advised that we do not accept re-applicants, and phone/email inquiries concerning your application will not be addressed. For more information about our decision, please refer to the latest Medical School Admissions Requirements (MSAR) and/or US News & World Report "Graduate School Rankings" publications. You may also find the following websites most helpful:

http://www.aamc.org
http://aacomas.aacom.org
http://www.caribbeanmedicine.com


Sincerely,
Ima Toole, M.D.
Dean of Medical Student Affairs
 
singularity2012 said:
August 19, 2009

Dear singularity2012,

After several months of painstakingly careful and thoughtful consideration of your application to Douche College of Medicine, I regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you a place in our 2009 entering class.

We very much appreciate the time and effort you have spent crafting and compiling your application, and the interest you have shown in DCM. Although your research, medical, and extracurricular endeavors may or may not be strong indicators of your success as a physician, we must rely on other measures - namely, MCAT scores and grade point averages - for a more thorough and objective evaluation of your application. Such a painstakingly comprehensive assessment of your candidacy has led us to conclude that your application does not meet our criteria for admission.

Again, I can assure you that your application was considered with undue care despite this disappointing outcome.

We do hope that you will find the opportunities you seek for medical school and beyond, and appreciate the chance we have had to learn something about you. Please be advised that we do not accept re-applicants, and phone/email inquiries concerning your application will not be addressed. For more information about our decision, please refer to the latest Medical School Admissions Requirements (MSAR) and/or US News & World Report "Graduate School Rankings" publications. You may also find the following websites most helpful:

http://www.aamc.org
http://aacomas.aacom.org
http://www.caribbeanmedicine.com


Sincerely,
Ima Toole, M.D.
Dean of Medical Student Affairs
Click to expand...

I know it's juvenile and predictable but this made me laugh :laugh:
 
Dear Ray

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

Sincerely

Your "dream" school.

PS: In case you didn't get it...., hell no😡
 
Dear NodForce,

We are pleased to congratulate you on being accepted to our school. We, of course, are only joking. Please make a video re-enactment of your facial expressions you made when reading this letter and send it to:

University of Impossible Medical School
​
1234 Nevergonnagetin Drive
​
Secret Place, Secret State 12345
​
We hope we did not hurt your feelings (just kidding),

Your Dream Medical School

P.S. :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
 
Lawliet2008 said:
Dear Lawliet,

We just thought you should know that the man who was incharge of reviewing your application last week was found dead sitting at his desk this morning. According to the coroner, he has not stopped laughing for seven days straight and his heart finally gave out sometime last night. We tried to assign your case to another man, but he is threatening us with resignation. No one here is willing to touch your application, because apparantly, it is quite deadly.

Sincerely,

A school you will never go to.

P.S. If you would like a job at our admissions office, a spot has just opened up, as long as you promise never to bring that application in this building again.
Click to expand...

Lol reminds me of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gpjk_MaCGM
 
nontradfogie said:
We apologize that there was no room for you in our 2009 matriculating class. Please accept this $200,000 check as a token of our appreciation for your interest in our school.
Click to expand...

I love this:laugh:
 
Dear Sankondbest,

Really big guy? Like 5000 people every year think we will slip up on their obviously inadequate application and let them in...we don't. Please pick up a copy of MSAR... it costs less. The joke is NOT funny anymore!!
 
Dear schnauzr,

when an applicant and a school come together, there is a natural desire that sparks between them. But sometimes, some applicants tend to cling too hard to schools and it causes an emotional strain on the schools. The schools do their best to accomodate the applicants' needs and in some cases, try to clue them in on their possible rejection, but the applicants keep calling them and sending them letters of affection. And the schools just need to take some time off those applicants. We are sure that you will understand where we are going with this. Just remember that this has nothing to do with you. We will still see more of you when you apply again next year.

With love,
Dean of Admissions
 
Dear BeardedRunner,

You probably should not have talked **** about your interviewer when he was sitting 10 feet away from you. Therefore we cannot offer you a position at this time or at all for that matter, so please do not ever reapply.

Sincerely,
An Overpriced Crappy Med School
 
Dear k4med,

We're just not that into you.

Sincerely,
Dr. Dreamslayer, MD
 
This is by far the best thread on SDN! :bow:
 
Dear, Chodan,

Snort . . . snickerhehehehehehehehehe . . . oh, oh my, oh that's good . . . really good . . . So, you seriously thought that we'd . . . hehehehehe . . . at least interviewhoohoohoo you . . . ahhhahahahahahaha . . . I'm sorry snrt snrtl snort . . . I'm so sorry, it's just too funnyeeheeheeheehee . . .

Sincerely,

Every School to Which You Applied
 
Wow, I killed it. I was just joking, lighten up, everyone. 🙂
 
Dear SBK,

You're not in...

Oh, and Thats What She Said

Sincerely

Dr. Micheal Scott
Director of Admissions
 
loon said:
dear mr. Oon,

congratulations. We are pleased to offer you acceptance to the keck school of medicine at the university of southern california.

Regards,

david geffen school of medicine at ucla.
Click to expand...

lmao best one ever
 
Dear Applicant,

We wish to inform you that this application cycle we evaluated many highly qualified applicants for admissions to our medical school, and you were not one of them. However, it does not mean that your application was not put to good use. As part of "Going Green" initiative, your application was recycled in order to save the environment. In fact, this may be the only thing you are good for. We wish you the best luck in the future, but we really hope you are never a physician.

Sincerely,

Dr. Ihavea Stickupmyass

Medical School youll never get into
 
Dear Vulcan,

::snort::...nah dude.

With Med-Love,

Dr. Roflcopter, Supa-fantastik med school
 
Dear Dreamy,

I'm not lovin' you, the way I wanted to,
What I had to do, I had to run from you,
Where I wanna go, I don't need you,
How many times do I tell you, before it gets through?

I keep your love locked down. You lose.

Sincerely,

K. West, MD
 
Dear Superman78,

We regret to inform you that you have been denied admission to our medical school. We have reached this decision for two reasons: first, we found it unlikely that you would choose our school over the 20 other schools that we found out you were accepted to. The second reason is that after the interview, the woman who interviewed you (the former supermodel, I believe people refer to her as "milf") professed to us that she had fallen madly in love with you. She pleaded with us to accept you with a free ride so that you could move in with her, as her house is very near campus. If you rejected the offer, she vowed to find you again and prove her love to you. We decided that we do not get involved with this complicated and inappropriate situation. Taking all of this into account, it is best that we part ways here. Please, when you are a powerful and influential doctor, do not wreak havoc on us. We are but a mere medical school and could not handle your furious wrath. I have enclosed a check of $10,000 and a lifetime subscription to the muffin of the month club as appreciation for even considering our humble little school.

Warm regards,
- Johns Hopkins
 
Last edited:
Dear LET,

thank you so much for applying to our wonderful school. We really are wonderful, aren't we? Sigh...it's really too bad you didn't get in, cause you'd have great opportunities. But alas, you're not good enough. We received tons and tons of applications and, well, they were better than yours. Oh well! We wish you good luck with your future plans, whatever they may be.

We understand that because you really really suck, you will not be getting in anywhere. Since we're super nice and very forgiving and really want to help you out here, we'd like to send you a brochure about our wonderful post-bac program. We will teach you all the sciences all over again so you can actually become competent enough to reapply! As a special bonus, you'll also get to review for the MCAT! The other people in your class will also be med school reject losers just like yourself! Sign up now!!

We hope to see you in the fall....for our remedial classes,

UCSF and Georgetown (true story)
 
I love the rejection haiku from the early part of this thread:


JayQuah said:
Your check will be cashed
But you still won't get in here
Don't quit your job yet.
Click to expand...

That pretty much says it all.
 
SBK said:
Dear SBK,

You're not in...

Oh, and Thats What She Said

Sincerely

Dr. Micheal Scott
Director of Admissions
Click to expand...

This totally gets my vote! :laugh:
 
Dear Jesse at Spectrum Gym,
After close consideration, I regret to inform you that I have denied your membership offer and joined my local 24hourfitness. Please realize that this decision comes primarily from a financial prospective and in no way reflects the quality of your gym. Thank you for your persistance but at this time I would like you to stop calling me. I wish you the best of luck in your future gym membership recruiting.
Sincerely,
Bloodsucker
😀
 
Dear aznb0y129,

You know when you spend years of your life trying to achieve something, spilling your blood, sweat, and tears along the way, leaving everything on the field and ultimately, you reach your goal?

This is not one of those times.

Love,
The Admissions Committee
 
Dear ngkats,

You're have not only been rejected, but you made the entire adcom LOL for over an hour.

In addition, I'm writing this rejection letter without any pants on to intensify the humiliation you must be experiencing.

Regards,

WashU
 
ngkats said:
Dear ngkats,

You're have not only been rejected, but you made the entire adcom LOL for over an hour.

In addition, I'm writing this rejection letter without any pants on to intensify the humiliation you must be experiencing.

Regards,

WashU
Click to expand...


Hehe this made me think of this one:

Dear ButImLETired,

128706265274409437.jpg


Love,
Dean XYZ
 
Dear pianola,

Congratulations! You are considered a highly qualified applicant to every medical school you applied to. Unfortunately, we do not have space for you in our class at this time, so at this time we will be placing you on the waitlist.

Please expect to hear back from us on the middle of never.

Adcoms
 
May-16-09
Dear Applicant,
You may have been under the impression that we were giving you a "silent rejection." Well, you should know that of course we are not able to allow that to have been done, being the prestigious institution that we are, since we care so much and win so many awards - which is also why so many students like yourself (except better) are able to have been being in a state of having applied to our school, as you must know. So I am glad to be able to have the pleasure to be the one that is to inform you that we have been spending all this time reading and searching and researching to find what would be the best way to have been able to put this:
Rashes are red,
Bruises are blue,
I know a good doctor,
His name is: NOT YOU!

Much love!
Stabya Withaspoon, MD
Dean of Rejecting Your Sorry Self

The Stuckup School Of Medicine

PS - Your dignity is able to have called. He said "Don't wait up."
 
12six said:
May-16-09
Dear Applicant,
You may have been under the impression that we were giving you a "silent rejection."Well, you should know that of course we are not able to allow that to have been done, being the prestigious institution that we are, since we care so much and win so many awards - which is also why so many students like yourself (except better) are able to have been being in a state of having applied to our school, as you must know. So I am glad to be able to have the pleasure to be the one that is to inform you that we have been spending all this time reading and searching and researching to find what would be the best way to have been able to put this:
Rashes are red,
Bruises are blue,
I know a good doctor,
His name is: NOT YOU!

Much love!
Stabya Withaspoon, MD
Dean of Rejecting Your Sorry Self

The Stuckup School Of Medicine

PS - Your dignity is able to have called. He said "Don't wait up."
Click to expand...

😕😕😕

Stabya Withaspoon was pretty funny though :laugh:
 
Dear Sam I Am,

Your GPA is rather poor.
We do not like your MCAT score.
We do not like it here or there,
We do not like it anywhere.
We do not want you at our school,
So sorry, but we must be cruel.

Cat in the Hat, M.D.
Green Eggs and Ham College of Medicine
 
student1799 said:
Dear Sam I Am,

Your GPA is rather poor.
We do not like your MCAT score.
We do not like it here or there,
We do not like it anywhere.
We do not want you at our school,
So sorry, but we must be cruel.

Cat in the Hat, M.D.
Green Eggs and Ham College of Medicine
Click to expand...

:laugh:👍:laugh:👍:laugh:
😀😀😀
😛
🙂

That's a whole lot of WIN right there.
 
This is a true story:

School X (through the e-mail): This year we had so many qualified applicants and because your application sucks, we decided to terminate it and not offer you an interview. Maybe you will find some luck in another school that might be more sympathetic with you.

Me: That's weird!

One week later, School X( both e-mail and letter) : hey, you remember that e-mail we sent you last week saying that you suck? Well, discard that e-mail and come and join us for and interview in the following dates.

Me: No thanks.
 
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