Class of 2020... how you doin?

[Caiter92]

First exam tomorrow! Its Phys and I feel okay about it, especially the metabolism portion. We also have some genetics stuff on it though and the prof for those lectures just went so fast and would give all this detail, and then say, "but you only need to know this" so I have no idea what to expect from him. But someone had him for genetics in undergrad, and they said most of his tests seemed to be based off of text he'd put in red on the slides and as long as you could remember that you were fine. Which again goes against the professors "you don't need to know this detail, just the big picture," since all the red stuff is super specific details

Oh well haha

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Lupin21]

In case I wasn't clear, I was talking about the method of information delivery. Yes, the situation itself is scary, even terrifying. But I was responding to the story of vets telling a pre vet what amounted to "your marriage cannot survive vet school" and "it will make you suicidal." That is not informing. That is just telling horror stories for the sake of scaring the pre vet.

Yes. Everyone should know what they are getting into before they make the decision to actually apply and attend. No, stress that will actually kill you and your relationships and destroy any joy you find in this world is not everyone's experience, and hopefully, those who think that is what they are experiencing realize they are offered help by their school, their peers, their community.

Scary information on realistic expectation vs. Scary misinformation on possible realization of fears.

Considering this is very real and has been proven this past week, this is in fact very real. It is telling horror stories, but sadly, they are true horror stories. I have seen so many people post here that already have depression problems wanting to be a vet, and there are major considerations here and they deserve to be warned that danger resides.

 

[dyachei]

Considering this is very real and has been proven this past week, this is in fact very real. It is telling horror stories, but sadly, they are true horror stories. I have seen so many people post here that already have depression problems wanting to be a vet, and there are major considerations here and they deserve to be warned that danger resides.

yup. this.

Our profession's suicide rate is already too high. I think everyone needs to think about why that is.

 

[LetItSnow]

Considering this is very real and has been proven this past week, this is in fact very real. It is telling horror stories, but sadly, they are true horror stories. I have seen so many people post here that already have depression problems wanting to be a vet, and there are major considerations here and they deserve to be warned that danger resides.

If I knew then what I know now after a year 'n a half of practice I wouldn't be a vet. And that's coming from someone who more or less likes his job. Most days. And who is lucky enough to be making more than twice the average starting salary - so it definitely isn't just about the money.

A few more scare stories would have done me good.

 

[Trilt]

In case I wasn't clear, I was talking about the method of information delivery. Yes, the situation itself is scary, even terrifying. But I was responding to the story of vets telling a pre vet what amounted to "your marriage cannot survive vet school" and "it will make you suicidal." That is not informing. That is just telling horror stories for the sake of scaring the pre vet.

Yes. Everyone should know what they are getting into before they make the decision to actually apply and attend. No, stress that will actually kill you and your relationships and destroy any joy you find in this world is not everyone's experience, and hopefully, those who think that is what they are experiencing realize they are offered help by their school, their peers, their community.

Scary information on realistic expectation vs. Scary misinformation on possible realization of fears.

I mean... lots of marriages and relationships don't survive vet school. A lot also seem to crumble right after people finish, too, during the transition to working life. Depression and suicide are also unfortunately not uncommon in the schooling and profession, so while their presentation may need work, people do need to know these things.

I was very comfortable with my partner (4+ years together) when starting vet school but still made sure I could pay my debt without his support because I recognized there was a non-zero chance we may not make it through together. I truly, truly think a dose of realism isn't a bad thing.

 

[dyachei]

If I knew then what I know now after a year 'n a half of practice I wouldn't be a vet. And that's coming from someone who more or less likes his job. Most days. And who is lucky enough to be making more than twice the average starting salary - so it definitely isn't just about the money.

A few more scare stories would have done me good.

I probably would have pursued another profession despite how much I like this one if I knew exactly how it would affect me

 

[missdarjeeling]

I guess my biggest problem with the horror stories was that there was never any constructive advice to go along with it. It wasn't "students get depressed, and I used to do XYZ when I was feeling bad" or "lots of people's relationships and marriages suffer, so try to do this or that." It was just a simple "you're going to want to die" and "it's awful" and "everyone gets divorced." Since I was already aware of these things and since people said these things repeatedly, all it did was ramp up my anxiety. It doesn't do any good for people's mental health to set them up to expect absolute misery any more than it does any good to set them up to expect rainbows and puppies and sunshine. I'm not any better equipped to deal with the challenges of vet school or this profession because of those comments, nor am I better informed. Just more anxious and inclined to expect the worst, which isn't the best thing to combine with all the stress. And it was confusing to hear the same people strongly encourage me to go to school and stay in the profession and to hear them say that they actually like their job.

 

[Lupin21]

I guess my biggest problem with the horror stories was that there was never any constructive advice to go along with it. It wasn't "students get depressed, and I used to do XYZ when I was feeling bad" or "lots of people's relationships and marriages suffer, so try to do this or that." It was just a simple "you're going to want to die" and "it's awful" and "everyone gets divorced." Since I was already aware of these things and since people said these things repeatedly, all it did was ramp up my anxiety. It doesn't do any good for people's mental health to set them up to expect absolute misery any more than it does any good to set them up to expect rainbows and puppies and sunshine. I'm not any better equipped to deal with the challenges of vet school or this profession because of those comments, nor am I better informed. Just more anxious and inclined to expect the worst, which isn't the best thing to combine with all the stress. And it was confusing to hear the same people strongly encourage me to go to school and stay in the profession and to hear them say that they actually like their job.

Look. You are told the horror stories because they can happen. We have been addressing what we personally do to prevent the darkness from taking over in this forum for a long time. I don't know where you are getting that you aren't being told what to do about it. People who are already vets and giving you those stories likely expect you to ask people that are still in school what they do since vet school has changed a bit since they were last there.

Another thing that you guys are now learning is that we who have been there can tell you about the experience til we are blue in the face, but you can't comprehend until you are actually there. Then, maybe you will be one of those that loves school and don't have the negative experience others do. But then you have to understand that others are having a tough time and you need to think outside yourself and offer what you can, be that study help or simply listening to their troubles.

And plenty of people love their job as a veterinarian on some days, others not. There are streaks of bad and good. The problem again comes back to older vets don't have this extra burden of debt that has taken over the past ten years, so you will hear different stories. Moral of the story is know who is giving you advice and understand where they are coming from. Know that your experience will be unique to you, so you cannot presume to know what someone else is going through. Just do you, and along the way, do your best to support your colleagues because they could be in a very dark place as has been told can and will happen.

 

[LetItSnow]

I guess my biggest problem with the horror stories was that there was never any constructive advice to go along with it. It wasn't "students get depressed, and I used to do XYZ when I was feeling bad" or "lots of people's relationships and marriages suffer, so try to do this or that." It was just a simple "you're going to want to die" and "it's awful" and "everyone gets divorced." Since I was already aware of these things and since people said these things repeatedly, all it did was ramp up my anxiety. It doesn't do any good for people's mental health to set them up to expect absolute misery any more than it does any good to set them up to expect rainbows and puppies and sunshine. I'm not any better equipped to deal with the challenges of vet school or this profession because of those comments, nor am I better informed. Just more anxious and inclined to expect the worst, which isn't the best thing to combine with all the stress. And it was confusing to hear the same people strongly encourage me to go to school and stay in the profession and to hear them say that they actually like their job.

Too many pre-vets just want to hear "sure, there are lots of stresses, but if you do X, Y, and Z you can manage them!"

Unfortunately, that's not reality. For a higher percentage of people in our profession than in almost every other profession - there is no X, Y, and Z.

That's the bottom line reality. So it does pre-vets good to know that this **** is real.

And I don't think you're being intellectually honest claiming that you don't hear advice about how to manage the stresses. How many times have you heard some of us talk about making sure you have a life outside of vet med? That's one of X, Y, or Z. Or running the financial numbers in one of the loan calculators out there? Or going to the cheapest school you can find so that you have less financial stress later. Or ... etc. Those are all pieces of constructive advice. I think you're being a little selective about what you're hearing.

 

[missdarjeeling]

I don't know where you are getting that you aren't being told what to do about it.

I'm talking about specific individuals I worked with, not vets in the profession as a whole. I had one doctor in particular tell me on a near daily basis how much school sucks and how miserable I'm going to be, and she didn't share any advice on how to cope with it. I'm sorry, but there is no way that was helpful, and all it did was make me anxious. What was helpful was when one of the older vets (by which I mean 5 years out) talked to me before I left and reached out in a direct way to offer her support, should I ever need to just talk to someone. That meant so much more than hearing "ugh, vet school's awful, and you're going to hate it" over and over again.

My whole point is that if we want to educate people and warn them about the challenges they'll face, then there are ways to do that successfully. It's also possible to accidentally cause MORE HARM in trying to achieve that same goal.

 

[Lupin21]

I'm talking about specific individuals I worked with, not vets in the profession as a whole. I had one doctor in particular tell me on a near daily basis how much school sucks and how miserable I'm going to be, and she didn't share any advice on how to cope with it. I'm sorry, but there is no way that was helpful, and all it did was make me anxious. What was helpful was when one of the older vets (by which I mean 5 years out) talked to me before I left and reached out in a direct way to offer her support, should I ever need to just talk to someone. That meant so much more than hearing "ugh, vet school's awful, and you're going to hate it" over and over again.

My whole point is that if we want to educate people and warn them about the challenges they'll face, then there are ways to do that successfully. It's also possible to accidentally cause MORE HARM in trying to achieve that same goal.

And by now you know there are some people that aren't that fabulous. Why are you letting one veterinarian/person be the example you are using? There are always going to be crappy people out there, in every profession. That is when you recognize and ignore. You state here you did get good advice from everyone else. We don't live in a perfect world and never will, so I recommend you look at this and realize you are the one letting one bad egg cause you this anxiety.

 

[mmmdreamerz]

The problem again comes back to older vets don't have this extra burden of debt that has taken over the past ten years, so you will hear different stories.

I think this is a huge problem (at least it was for me). Most of the veterinarians I'm surrounded by don't get the realities of the current debt load because they graduated 15+ years ago. SDN (and the VIN debt calculator) has been a huge reality check for me. It's so easy to got lost in the romanticized notion of "pursuing your dream" and think it doesn't matter because how can you really grasp what 200k in student loans means without experiencing the weight of it.

 

[LetItSnow]

I think this is a huge problem (at least it was for me). Most of the veterinarians I'm surrounded by don't get the realities of the current debt load because they graduated 15+ years ago. SDN (and the VIN debt calculator) has been a huge reality check for me. It's so easy to got lost in the romanticized notion of "pursuing your dream" and think it doesn't matter because how can you really grasp what 200k in student loans means without experiencing the weight of it.

The best thing people can do with those calculators is mock out a real working budget for living. I think a lot of people just use it to see what their payment will be and how much they'll have left over .... and then they sorta gasp, shrug, and assume they'll find a way. What they <should> be doing is actually trying to calculate their budget: housing, food, insurance, transportation, utilities, clothes, recreation ... etc. Every last little thing.

<That> will give them a better idea of whether they want to go through with it.

 

[dyachei]

I'm talking about specific individuals I worked with, not vets in the profession as a whole. I had one doctor in particular tell me on a near daily basis how much school sucks and how miserable I'm going to be, and she didn't share any advice on how to cope with it. I'm sorry, but there is no way that was helpful, and all it did was make me anxious. What was helpful was when one of the older vets (by which I mean 5 years out) talked to me before I left and reached out in a direct way to offer her support, should I ever need to just talk to someone. That meant so much more than hearing "ugh, vet school's awful, and you're going to hate it" over and over again.

My whole point is that if we want to educate people and warn them about the challenges they'll face, then there are ways to do that successfully. It's also possible to accidentally cause MORE HARM in trying to achieve that same goal.

Did you ask?

Serious question. It may be that they thought they were being helpful by pointing out the problems with our profession. But it's a different ballgame than it used to be. And the coping mechanisms that everyone uses are different.

The first step is entering it eyes wide open. The next step is coming up with personal solutions.

But the truth is...some people don't feel like they have personal solutions and we end up with tragedy far too often.

 

[LetItSnow]

Did you ask?

Serious question. It may be that they thought they were being helpful by pointing out the problems with our profession. But it's a different ballgame than it used to be. And the coping mechanisms that everyone uses are different.

The first step is entering it eyes wide open. The next step is coming up with personal solutions.

But the truth is...some people don't feel like they have personal solutions and we end up with tragedy far too often.

Not just tragedy. I've only been doing this 1 year and I already know way too many people who have left the profession for something else.

Nothing wrong with career changing (I mean, hey, I did it), but if the motive is "I'm burnt out and this sucks and if I keep doing this I'm going to kill myself" ..... that's a problem. And that's the usual story in vet med.

 

[rockatiel]

I have seen so many people post here that already have depression problems wanting to be a vet

Yep yep yep. Since starting school my symptoms have really gone downhill. I'm working on ways to manage them, but I really wish I would've just taken a year off at this point.... I honestly don't think I was mentally ready, and when I tried to express that concern to people close to me, no one really took it seriously--said I was being pessimistic. Now on top of school, I have to worry about managing depression. The effects on mental health need to beat forefront. Colleague's lives depend on it.

 

[Trilt]

You're right, just saying "Vet school sucks your life is going to suck try not to kill yourself" isn't helpful. But so many people (not specifically you... thinking of lots of previous posters and people I mentored years ago) take someone being realistic about vet school often sucking (and what it can do to your relationships, mental status, pocketbook) as just being a downer and pessimistic.

Everyone wants to be one of those unicorn people who loves vet school, who loves practice afterward, and for whom this will be the dream career they always wanted. And some people are like that. But it's not realistic for most. My school surveys grads five years out, and throughout the time that they've done that, they've found that only ~50% say they would do it again, knowing what they know now. And those are people without the debt problems of recent grads...

I don't know. It's scary. People should be concerned, and should think a lot about it, and if it requires a little bit of scare tactics I honestly think I'm okay with that. I would much prefer people to be overly terrified vs. overly sugar coated.

 

[deleted676737]

Yep yep yep. Since starting school my symptoms have really gone downhill. I'm working on ways to manage them, but I really wish I would've just taken a year off at this point.... I honestly don't think I was mentally ready, and when I tried to express that concern to people close to me, no one really took it seriously--said I was being pessimistic. Now on top of school, I have to worry about managing depression. The effects on mental health need to beat forefront. Colleague's lives depend on it.

Are we twins? That is basically my exact story, right down to no one (including family) taking my concerns and considering deferring for a year seriously. I really, really wish I had taken a gap year. I know many people make it into and through vet school just fine right from undergrad, but I was already starting to burn out towards my last semester and I'm feeling that way even now.

Only a month in and I've already started second-guessing whether or not I really want the DVM badly enough to continue doing this when my bachelors could get me an okay-paying job with a lot less debt. If I were to leave this year, my debt wouldn't be too awful and I could probably pay it off reasonably quickly, but I feel like I'd be letting down so many people, including myself. But I do recognize that mental well-being is so much more important and I'm having a severely difficult time motivating myself at this point while my classmates don't seem to be having that issue and appear to still be in their honeymoon phase (at least externally). The few that I've discussed this with tell me that I'm just an ungrateful Debbie Downer and I need to think more positively. Bleh. It sucks and I don't know what the right decision is.

 

[rockatiel]

Are we twins? That is basically my exact story, right down to no one (including family) taking my concerns and considering deferring for a year seriously. I really, really wish I had taken a gap year. I know many people make it into and through vet school just fine right from undergrad, but I was already starting to burn out towards my last semester and I'm feeling that way even now.

Only a month in and I've already started reconsidering whether or not I really want the DVM badly enough to continue doing this. If I were to leave this year, my debt wouldn't be too awful and I could probably pay it off reasonably quickly, but I feel like I'd be letting down so many people, including myself. But I do recognize that mental well-being is so much more important and I'm having a severely difficult time motivating myself at this point while my classmates don't seem to be having that issue and appear to still be in their honeymoon phase (at least externally). Bleh.

I think that's possible

The psychologist I have been going to see actually told me that the number one thing she hears from other students is "well, I just feel like I'm doing terrible when everyone else is doing so well..." so while you may feel alone in that, you're actually not. Are you getting out/having fun any?

 

[Lupin21]

Are we twins? That is basically my exact story, right down to no one (including family) taking my concerns and considering deferring for a year seriously. I really, really wish I had taken a gap year. I know many people make it into and through vet school just fine right from undergrad, but I was already starting to burn out towards my last semester and I'm feeling that way even now.

Only a month in and I've already started reconsidering whether or not I really want the DVM badly enough to continue doing this. If I were to leave this year, my debt wouldn't be too awful and I could probably pay it off reasonably quickly, but I feel like I'd be letting down so many people, including myself. But I do recognize that mental well-being is so much more important and I'm having a severely difficult time motivating myself at this point while my classmates don't seem to be having that issue and appear to still be in their honeymoon phase (at least externally). Bleh.

Don't let this fool you. The girl that took her life was a ray of sunshine and positivity throughout school. It knocked me on my ass big time. Knowing it is healthy to express your mental state no matter what is the only way to address it. Also, first year in some schools is the hardest because most people have never had this much pressure put on them. The following years don't get easier per say, but you become better at managing your time and stress levels.

No one is going to be able to tell you what is best here because it is up to you to know your breaking point, but also be aware that it may be possible to surpass these limits you are feeling. You must keep checking on yourself and truly knowing whether you can or cannot make it past that moment. Keep talking to anyone you need to both for support to overcome and/or support when you have to call it. Take each event one at at time and keep reevaluating where you are after one task is done and the next is on the plate.

 

[Caiter92]

Are we twins? That is basically my exact story, right down to no one (including family) taking my concerns and considering deferring for a year seriously. I really, really wish I had taken a gap year. I know many people make it into and through vet school just fine right from undergrad, but I was already starting to burn out towards my last semester and I'm feeling that way even now.

Only a month in and I've already started second-guessing whether or not I really want the DVM badly enough to continue doing this when my bachelors could get me an okay-paying job with a lot less debt. If I were to leave this year, my debt wouldn't be too awful and I could probably pay it off reasonably quickly, but I feel like I'd be letting down so many people, including myself. But I do recognize that mental well-being is so much more important and I'm having a severely difficult time motivating myself at this point while my classmates don't seem to be having that issue and appear to still be in their honeymoon phase (at least externally). Bleh. It sucks and I don't know what the right decision is.

Yep yep yep. Since starting school my symptoms have really gone downhill. I'm working on ways to manage them, but I really wish I would've just taken a year off at this point.... I honestly don't think I was mentally ready, and when I tried to express that concern to people close to me, no one really took it seriously--said I was being pessimistic. Now on top of school, I have to worry about managing depression. The effects on mental health need to beat forefront. Colleague's lives depend on it.

yep, my anxiety since starting school has been really hard to manage. Have been talking with the school counseling services, but I'm still worried if I can't find ways to cope again soon (and all my old coping strategies I've learned from counseling before aren't working well right now), I shouldn't be here. That feeling isn't helping, as most of my anxiety is currently centered around that I'm not smart enough to be here.... good times.

I knew going in this would probably increase my anxiety and I'd need to find ways to deal again, but I feel like someone who has never had to deal with anxiety or depression may not realize there is a problem until they're in a really bad place where they don't feel able to ask for help. Obviously, even if you've had these issues before and are aware of warning signs, you can still get to that point, but I feel like it's important to warn people that it isn't all sunshine and daisies, so if they get here and it sucks they don't think something is wrong with them for not loving every second of it.

One of my classmates definitely seems to be the person who thought it would all be awesome and easy since they had always been the top of everything, and they seem to be having a really hard time that it's not.

 

[Lupin21]

All this also brings up that age old phrase "Imposter Syndrome". Another very real monster in vet school. No one thinks about it much because it seems a cliche, but it is very real and a contributor to a lot of these feelings. Look up that phrase in this forum alone, and you may be amazed at the people speaking up about it that are now successful vets.

 

[Teepster87]

How does one get better, or where can I learn how to better help people dealing with depression/anxiety/mental health? My wife battles it, and it's really hard for me to comfort, console, support, etc. when I have no idea what's going on. Not having firsthand experience, I find it really hard to offer assistance to her when there isn't just a kind of identify the issue and resolve it solution.

 

[dyachei]

How does one get better, or where can I learn how to better help people dealing with depression/anxiety/mental health? My wife battles it, and it's really hard for me to comfort, console, support, etc. when I have no idea what's going on. Not having firsthand experience, I find it really hard to offer assistance to her when there isn't just a kind of identify the issue and resolve it solution.

counseling.

 

[Caiter92]

How does one get better, or where can I learn how to better help people dealing with depression/anxiety/mental health? My wife battles it, and it's really hard for me to comfort, console, support, etc. when I have no idea what's going on. Not having firsthand experience, I find it really hard to offer assistance to her when there isn't just a kind of identify the issue and resolve it solution.

Medication and counseling is what I've needed. Some people do best with one or the other, but I've needed both.

Also, as hard as it is, I personally find it really frustrating when people try to "fix" it when I try to talk to them about it. Like I know it's irrational to feel how I'm feeling, but it's how I feel and telling me I shouldn't feel this way just makes me feel worse about myself. Not saying that's what you're doing or your wife feels the same way, but that's just been my experience for myself. Just having someone let me know they're there for me if I need them is the best support for me.

If you can, definitely encourage her to seek professional help.

 

[twelvetigers]

We (pre-vets, vet students, AND veterinarians) get so wrapped up in our identity as a vet or vet-to-be that it can feel impossible to separate ourselves from that identity. I mean, think about it - you've been declaring proudly that you will be a vet someday to anyone that would listen since you were six years old. Our family expects it. Everyone knows that's the plan. We've told ourselves that it's the plan for years, and we have worked so hard for it, getting hours and recommendations and good grades and blah blah.

So when the time comes that you doubt your path, it feels like it's WAY too late to change course. You have spent so much time, and all your friends and family know, and it's just part of who you are. You can't turn away, you need to keep going.

Except it's NOT who you are. You are allowed to change your mind. At ANY point - before, during, or after school. If you feel like it's sucking the life out of you, then leave. If you worry that depression will win, then leave. We have convinced ourselves that our whole self worth is tied up in being a VETERINARIAN that it no longer matters if it's what's best for us. And that's dumb.

There are other paths to take and there are other jobs to pay bills. Don't ever feel like there is no other way.

 

[wheelin2vetmed]

I experienced rock-bottom depression after I was paralyzed, so I understand the dangers of falling into that abyss. I do think that experience has given me perspective and while I don't think something like vet school would send me there again, I listen to all your posts and appreciate every one.

However, I will be honest and say right now I am doubting my abilities. I'm doubting if I can handle this, I'm doubting all my study methods, I just don't know.

I'll see once I get my first exam back, but if I truly did fail it I'm going to talk to the counselor lady.

 

[dyachei]

I experienced rock-bottom depression after I was paralyzed, so I understand the dangers of falling into that abyss. I do think that experience has given me perspective and while I don't think something like vet school would send me there again, I listen to all your posts and appreciate every one.

However, I will be honest and say right now I am doubting my abilities. I'm doubting if I can handle this, I'm doubting all my study methods, I just don't know.

I'll see once I get my first exam back, but if I truly did fail it I'm going to talk to the counselor lady.

as much as we harp on this particular point, I'm fairly sure any of us would be happy to talk to any of you needing help.

The reason we stay on SDN is to help pre-vets.

 

[DVMDream]

And I don't think you're being intellectually honest claiming that you don't hear advice about how to manage the stresses. How many times have you heard some of us talk about making sure you have a life outside of vet med? That's one of X, Y, or Z. Or running the financial numbers in one of the loan calculators out there? Or going to the cheapest school you can find so that you have less financial stress later. Or ... etc. Those are all pieces of constructive advice. I think you're being a little selective about what you're hearing.

I was going to mention this. I don't think I can even count the number of times I have stated to make sure you have a life outside of vet med, don't study before vet school starts, taking a night off won't cause you to fail, run your finances before committing or even how many times I have described ways to try to save money before and even during vet school... do as many pre-reqs at a CC as you can, minimize your undergrad debt, get yourself to a place with an IS school and obtain residency there, look at cheaper OOS schools, look at OOS schools that allow IS after a year. I repeat this advice every damn year because I do want to help others to not end up stuck up **** creek without a paddle like I did to myself. So, yes, we do mention how this career and the schooling can suck arse but to say we offer no advice on how to address that is incredibly dishonest.


And we also repeat on here all the time, if any of you (and really anyone) is feeling like absolute **** at any point and just wants someone to vent to, my inbox is open and available. I will listen. And sometimes just having a vent session to someone can do a hell of a world of good. Just let that cork off the bottle and let everything out... it really does help.

 

[Lupin21]

Be aware, there is nothing quite like that feeling when you conquer your first semester of vet school. The elation is quite amazing. Sometimes it gets you to that next semester so you can experience that high again. First year blows... by then you hit second. It keeps going faster and faster like Wonka's boat and before you know it you are in clinics, then graduated.

 

[Caiter92]

Be aware, there is nothing quite like that feeling when you conquer your first semester of vet school. The elation is quite amazing. Sometimes it gets you to that next semester so you can experience that high again. First year blows... by then you hit second. It keeps going faster and faster like Wonka's boat and before you know it you are in clinics, then graduated.

I keep telling myself if I can just get through first semester I'll be okay.... Upperclassmen keep telling me it's the hardest because you're still figuring out your study style, adjusting to being here, etc. Really hoping that's the case, and that after this first set of exams I'll feel a little more confident in myself.

 

[Lupin21]

I keep telling myself if I can just get through first semester I'll be okay.... Upperclassmen keep telling me it's the hardest because you're still figuring out your study style, adjusting to being here, etc. Really hoping that's the case, and that after this first set of exams I'll feel a little more confident in myself.

Was that way for me. I tell most of the students that as well when they come to my office panicked.

 

[VetToBe585]

So the three people I've gotten closest to so far in school all have their parents paying for their school/living costs??? Is this like a normal occurrence that I just didn't ever think was possible or am I just drawn to stupidly rich kids?? I can't even imagine how little stress they have compared to ALL THE REST OF US and I'm so jealous! I was shocked when one of them said it, but then two more like in a row?? So amazed. So jealous. just, wow.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

Except it's NOT who you are. You are allowed to change your mind. At ANY point - before, during, or after school. If you feel like it's sucking the life out of you, then leave. If you worry that depression will win, then leave. We have convinced ourselves that our whole self worth is tied up in being a VETERINARIAN that it no longer matters if it's what's best for us. And that's dumb.

There are other paths to take and there are other jobs to pay bills. Don't ever feel like there is no other way.

Well said.

Not a perfect comparison, but it reminds me of one of the best lessons I took away from group.

"If the elevator is going down, remember, you can get off on any floor. Any floor. You don't have to wait until it reaches the bottom"

 

[JaynaAli]

So the three people I've gotten closest to so far in school all have their parents paying for their school/living costs??? Is this like a normal occurrence that I just didn't ever think was possible or am I just drawn to stupidly rich kids?? I can't even imagine how little stress they have compared to ALL THE REST OF US and I'm so jealous! I was shocked when one of them said it, but then two more like in a row?? So amazed. So jealous. just, wow.

I think it's somewhat common to have some support. In my friend group, one was self-funded, one's parents paid everything, and my parents helped me out too. TBH, I don't see how it's much different than someone with a spouse paying living expenses.

My parents paid my living expenses. They offered, I never asked for it. When I was little they planned on paying for as much of my college education as possible. They had to pay for their own college (which neither finished) and wanted something better for me. I had enough scholarships to completely pay for undergrad so they helped out with vet school. From day 1 they said they would pay living expenses, I would get loans to handle tuition, and they'd give me any extra they could to help pay back tuition over time. They bought me a house to live in (in a very affordable state), I had a roommate who paid 70% of the mortgage for them, and I paid my in-state tuition with loans. I also had a job all throughout vet school. My parents worked really hard to be able to afford to do that for me, something that I sincerely appreciate. I come from a middle class family and in no way would consider myself a 'stupidly rich kid.' My parents have taken one vacation in the past eight years and they both work a lot of overtime. I understand the frustration you're experiencing, but try not to judge someone else's situation against your own. There is still stress, it's just different. I couldn't fail out or my parents would have wasted all their money. Can they really afford to give me the money that they are? They aren't getting older...are they giving me so much that they'll begin to struggle if one of them were to get sick? It's a different set of stressors. I am grateful for what they're able to do, do have some guilt about taking the money, and plan to pay them back 100%...maybe not financially (I know they don't necessarily want that) but in support and care as they get older.

Edit: Plus, it shouldn't be a huge surprise to you about the debt you'd be facing if you've hung around SDN enough. I wouldn't have done vet med without support from my family, but you made that choice.

 

[alohacat319]

So the three people I've gotten closest to so far in school all have their parents paying for their school/living costs??? Is this like a normal occurrence that I just didn't ever think was possible or am I just drawn to stupidly rich kids?? I can't even imagine how little stress they have compared to ALL THE REST OF US and I'm so jealous! I was shocked when one of them said it, but then two more like in a row?? So amazed. So jealous. just, wow.

Quite frankly, this belief is EXCEPTIONALLY closed minded and rude. Yes, students with family support are VERY lucky, but you acting like a martyr that your life is so much harder is complete BS. Everyone's situation is different, and we are all in this together as students, and I can promise you every single student is stressed about finances, school, personal lives, and more, no matter what. My parents are paying my living expenses, because I worked really hard as a high schooler/undergrad to earn enough scholarship to cover my undergrad tuition. As an out of state kid with no in state school option, the tuition was so expensive that vet med honestly wouldn't have really been an option for me without their help, and I do realize how lucky I am. However, I am nowhere near stupidly rich, and for you to assume that of everyone that has family support makes you look like an asshat. My mom has only a high school education, and my dad has a bachelors in a field he doesn't even work in. They work middle class jobs, live frugally, clip coupons, and forego lots of unneeded "wants" so that they can help me have an easier life and not be drowning in vet school debt come graduation. To say we don't have stress....I have a monthly allowance to pay all of my bills and live off of, it is still a tight budget. I also feel exceptional amount of guilt on the first of each month when my mom tells me she put money into my account, and I know that makes their finances back home tight. My dad is 70 this year and he is putting off retiring another four years to help me get through school, so I stress about the fact that my life choices are effecting their lives negatively too. I worked my butt off over the past year to save up and help pay for things to keep them paying as little as possible.

Lucky? Yes absolutely. Stupidly rich with zero stress? Ha, I wish.

 

[Caiter92]

My parents are also helping out a bit. This year they're just paying my cellphone and my car insurance, but that's a couple thousand I don't have to worry about.

My mom has been my grandparents caretaker for a few years and hasn't worked, but if she gets a job she wants to pay for all of my living expenses the rest of school if she can.

I didn't ask, and I didn't think they would be paying for anything, but I was incredibly thankful they are and have offered.

 

[rockatiel]

Had my parents not gone through a period of unemployment that they're trying to recover from, they would definitely be helping more with my living expenses. They already help with car note, insurance, and cell phone, so I'm not grateful enough for them. They want to help with rent but the money just isn't there, sadly. I do believe it is pretty common for family to contribute too.

Back on the subject of depression, I'm facebook friends with a lot of you. Other than the fact that I do like to hit the hay pretty early most nights, am always available to talk. Maybe a support group would be a good thing to get started. We could group message, Skype, etc. I know that I always feel better when I listen to others going through the same stuff and can support them.

 

[DVMDream]

And I had zero family contribution and I'm sitting here surprised at how many do have family contributing financially. I mean, good for you, that's great, just didn't realize how "common" it was. Probably because I never cared or bothered to ask people. The only people I knew whose parents were paying were those bragging about it and yeah I did want to throat punch those people.

 

[Caiter92]

Back on the subject of depression, I'm facebook friends with a lot of you. Other than the fact that I do like to hit the hay pretty early most nights, am always available to talk. Maybe a support group would be a good thing to get started. We could group message, Skype, etc. I know that I always feel better when I listen to others going through the same stuff and can support them.

This would be awesome!

 

[LetItSnow]

I keep telling myself if I can just get through first semester I'll be okay.... Upperclassmen keep telling me it's the hardest because you're still figuring out your study style, adjusting to being here, etc. Really hoping that's the case, and that after this first set of exams I'll feel a little more confident in myself.

I certainly found first year to be hardest in terms of ... Anxiety, I guess. Second year was more work, and it has that awful "no end in sight" feeling, but by then you know you can handle it.

At least, that is how it went for me.

 

[Caiter92]

Eek, first exam is in a few hours. I felt really good about it last night, and still feel decent about it now but I can't keep all the freaking irreversible steps of glycolysis + how gluconeogenesis gets around them in my head that portion of the test is 8 free response questions and you choose 6 to answer and I feel good about everything else, so hopefully it'll be fine!

I just keep telling myself I only need an 80 to pass

 

[alohacat319]

That histology exam I just took...... Welllllll. My dream of being a vet was nice while it lasted.

 

[twelvetigers]

That histology exam I just took...... Welllllll. My dream of being a vet was nice while it lasted.

I felt that way about a LOT of exams. Lol.

 

[RoryCat]

That histology exam I just took...... Welllllll. My dream of being a vet was nice while it lasted.

Yup. Me too. The only thing I know is that I completely failed.

 

[WildZoo]

That histology exam I just took...... Welllllll. My dream of being a vet was nice while it lasted.

That'll be me after anatomy on Friday

 

[Caiter92]

That histology exam I just took...... Welllllll. My dream of being a vet was nice while it lasted.

Yeah... yeah that's how I'm feeling after the genetics half of my exam today. So many super vague questions and the professor who wrote that half wasn't even there to clarify. Good news is everyone else is feeling this way too so it's not just me haha

 

[WildZoo]

Our only immunology lecture of the week was cancelled today

 

[Lupin21]

haha. You guys might surprise yourselves and do better than you think. Most of the time, a little mishap on multiple choice can be rebounded from slides.

 

[alohacat319]

haha. You guys might surprise yourselves and do better than you think. Most of the time, a little mishap on multiple choice can be rebounded from slides.

Doesn't that require actually knowing what the slides were?