The SDN flaw parade

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I have a penchant for falling in love with women who will eventually blow my life up (n=3 lol)
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Mr. Dr. Prof. Patrick said:
I can already tell this is a fantastic joke. Most people will hate the pun involving dead children, I am guessing. It is a shame how under appreciated dark humor is.

I got one:

How did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a bus.
How did little jimmy fall off the swing?
He couldn’t hold on, lost his arms in the accident.
*Knock Knock*
Who’s there?
Not little Jimmy.
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My favorite are anti-jokes.

Why can't Tyrannosaurs do pushups?

Because they're extinct.
 
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Mr. Dr. Prof. Patrick said:
I can already tell this is a fantastic joke. Most people will hate the pun involving dead children, I am guessing. It is a shame how under appreciated dark humor is.

I got one:

How did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a bus.
How did little jimmy fall off the swing?
He couldn’t hold on, lost his arms in the accident.
*Knock Knock*
Who’s there?
Not little Jimmy.
Click to expand...
FISTMCLARGEHUGE said:
You know the difference between an Iraqi orphanage and a terrorist training compound?

I dont. I just fly the drone.


I'll take that probationary status now.
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Lawper said:
Dark jokes are hilarious and I have several in mind. The problem lies with harsh and negative social reactions to dark jokes. That's why I just keep them to myself usually unless someone has similar interests.
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There are no judgements in my thread. Dark jokes are welcomed :cat:

Matthew9Thirtyfive said:
My favorite are anti-jokes.

Why can't Tyrannosaurs do pushups?

Because they're extinct.
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There's a thread for this. Shameless self promo :ninja:

Joke thread
 
Flaw: I'm deathly afraid of rodents.

So scared in fact, that since my apartment currently has a rodent problem, I have been sleeping in the basement of one of my school's academic buldings until my landlord resolves the problem. So far, only one janitor knows that I am sleeping there.
 
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I can be sensitive to criticism and care far too much about what authority figures think of me. I've definitely gotten better at this, especially on the caring about what others think about me front, but it's still a struggle. If I make a mistake in front of an authority figure I can be ridiculously hard on myself and will sometimes thought spiral into thinking they hate me because of the mistake.

I am also super conflict adverse, although I'm working on it (being in a long-term relationship has oddly enough helped a ton here).
 
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tessellations said:
I can be sensitive to criticism and care far too much about what authority figures think of me.
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I have this exact same problem. I fainted in the waiting room of an emergency room a few weeks ago when I got food poisoning. I had to make an ER trip because of dehydration-related fainting at home. I came to and was still laying on the floor when two nurses and a security guy ran over. The security guy was the first person who told me, "We can't have people laying on the floor". I was so embarassed that I started crying and couldn't get myself to stop.

I am also terrified of police officers for similar reasons.

True very embarrassing story.
 
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RespectTheChemistry19 said:
“We can't have people laying on the floor"
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Telling a patient who is in for fainting that they can’t lay on the ground, a symptom of their fainting?

Why didn’t the guy just say “ I understand this is a hospital, but you aren’t allowed to be sick here.”
 
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RespectTheChemistry19 said:
I have this exact same problem. I fainted in the waiting room of an emergency room a few weeks ago when I got food poisoning about a month ago. I had to make an ER trip because of dehydration-related fainting at home. I came to and was still laying on the floor when two nurses and a security guy ran over. The security guy was the first person who told me, "We can't have people laying on the floor". I was so embarassed that I started crying and couldn't get myself to stop.

I am also terrified of police officers for similar reasons.

True very embarrassing story.
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That's crazy. What did the nurses say?
 
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While I’m usually quick to pop off, I have had no problem remaining my cool during stress interviews for the most part; lately though I’ve been with the ****s and any type of rudeness or passive aggressiveness from any interviewer is met with subtle shade of my own and I LOVE IT
 
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Icebird said:
While I’m usually quick to pop off, I have had no problem remaining my cool during stress interviews for the most part; lately though I’ve been with the ****s and any type of rudeness or passive aggressiveness from any interviewer is met with subtle shade of my own and I LOVE IT
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I really hope I get an acceptance on the 15th just so I can comfortably be a little cheeky with a potentially sassy interviewer.
 
Icebird said:
While I’m usually quick to pop off, I have had no problem remaining my cool during stress interviews for the most part; lately though I’ve been with the ****s and any type of rudeness or passive aggressiveness from any interviewer is met with subtle shade of my own and I LOVE IT
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I have not had a single rude interviewer. A couple that were pretty cold faced and didn’t seem to have a clue about the time of day let alone my application (despite it being directly in front of them). But none that were rude.
 
and 99 others said:
I really hope I get an acceptance on the 15th just so I can comfortably be a little cheeky with a potentially sassy interviewer.
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Yeah Oct 15th I will be roasting letter A-Z name and shame stay tuned!

Mr. Dr. Prof. Patrick said:
I have not had a single rude interviewer. A couple that were pretty cold faced and didn’t seem to have a clue about the time of day let alone my application (despite it being directly in front of them). But none that were rude.
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Only been 2 rude interviews so far and they have been my last ones so maybe its something in the water
 
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RespectTheChemistry19 said:
I have this exact same problem. I fainted in the waiting room of an emergency room a few weeks ago when I got food poisoning about a month ago. I had to make an ER trip because of dehydration-related fainting at home. I came to and was still laying on the floor when two nurses and a security guy ran over. The security guy was the first person who told me, "We can't have people laying on the floor". I was so embarassed that I started crying and couldn't get myself to stop.

I am also terrified of police officers for similar reasons.

True very embarrassing story.
Click to expand...

What a rude security guard! We’re pretty similar though, haha. I am also someone who cries when I get embarrassed, I feel you so hard. I am also terrified of police officers. If I am going speed limit and pass one my heart will always skip a beat.
 
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Mr. Dr. Prof. Patrick said:
Telling a patient who is in for fainting that they can’t lay on the ground, a symptom of their fainting?

Why didn’t the guy just say “ I understand this is a hospital, but you aren’t allowed to be sick here.”
Click to expand...

He might have been trying to lighten the mood so she wouldn't be embarrassed, but it backfired.
 
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Icebird said:
I have had no problem remaining my cool during stress interviews for the most part
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You might just interally recognizing a wild response is what they are looking for and so you purposefully think "one step ahead" and counter it with tranquility
 
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imbesrs said:
You might just interally recognizing a wild response is what they are looking for and so you purposefully think "one step ahead" and counter it with tranquility
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Oh definitely; by now I can recognize when they’re trying to get reaction from me but now I’m starting to master the art of subtle barbs right back at them if it’s something especially rude and contradictory while still keeping it cute and classy :p
 
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lol just read some of these and wanna post some of mine hahaha im actually really serious and really shy and never went to a single college party in my 4 years of college (or high school), im kinda lazy actually, i can sleep for hours and hours, and ill probbaly think of a bunch more!
 
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  1. Shocker: low self-confidence. I always assume I'm wrong and will second guess myself. I'm getting way better at it, but it's definitely still struggling with those issues. This plays into why my GPA is low. I have horrid ADHD and, when I got that under control (behaviorally at least,) it still took almost twice as long to finish a project/paper/assignment. It worked for me in the end, but I got help (chemically) when I got out of college. A little too late (GPA-wise.) Bright side is, if I have to do an SMP, I have the focus, time management skills, and drive to do way better.
  2. I abhor confrontation. I want to fix things with people ASAP. And if it doesn't work, I get in my head about it. And overly-apologize. Even if it isn't my fault. Again, I'm getting better about that, but it's just a nasty as hell habit to overcome
 
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Flaws: party too much, hate small talk, date crazy but hot girls
 
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My flaw is that I have too many flaws (probably elaborate sometime later)
 
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u_raptor said:
Hey I never had a gf till about a year ago. Sometimes it just happens out of nowhere lol
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My boi has to go on 25 first dates over the last decade before he could settle on one to call his girlfriend
 
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Lol my ex girl tried to hit me (like actually) while drunk, then I caught her hands and told her to chill, then she had a panic attack then I had to hold her and tell her to relax, take her inhaler and stuff... all while we were in punta cana.

We had paid for the trip in august for spring break in may- our deposits held the trip that long but it couldnt hold the relationship that long either lol

edit: this was going off the crazy girl train, but had no relevance to the SDN flaw parade original thread. Sorry for derail in advance lol
 
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Alco_Palco said:
thank you for giving me some hope!
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Anytime :) I put a lot of my own happiness on the idea of having one for most a lot of my teenage life, so it was pretty rough. But ultimately (at least how I ended up seeing it) you just gotta trust your higher power (if you have one) to have a plan for ya!
 
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imbesrs said:
Lol my ex girl tried to hit me (like actually) while drunk, then I caught her hands and told her to chill, then she had a panic attack that I had to hold her and tell her to relax, take her inhaler and stuff... all while we were in punta cana.

We had paid for the trip in august for spring break in may- our deposits held the trip that long but it couldnt hold the relationship that long either lol

edit: this was going off the crazy girl train, but had no relevance to the SDN flaw parade original thread. Sorry for derail in advance lol
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Love that story kinda hot
 
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thegrind33 said:
Just go up to 5 random decent looking guys everyday. You’ll get a lot of options easy a lot of guys are thirsty
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Can confirm as a used-to-be desperate guy
 
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Speaking of crazy girlfriends
oR4F_Cyv4ou8Y_5B8SpVnAsiNU8Xg5GcK6HrbqHhzK4.jpg
 
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