2007-2008 Write Your Own Rejection Letter Thread

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Dear Potato Head,

I'm sorry, but we don't take joke applications. If we invited you to our interview, it would only to see, up front, the deluded person who thought he could apply here. You should do yourself a favor and not waste your time; I say this to help.

Thanks for the bother,

Admissions
 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

This is so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy .....lololololhahahahahahahahahaa
doinmybest5840 said:
Dear doinmybest5840,

No.

-Adcom
Click to expand...
 
Dear Mr. ____

Banned! (You were so pitiful we rejected you pre-AMCAS.)

-Admissions
 
Dear Mr. Dendrite,

You suck so much that I'm not even going to sign my name on this letter, but rather photocopy a rejection letter from last year and mail it to you again - keep this as a reminder if you think about applying again. Thanks for wasting our time. Fool us once, shame on you; fool us twice, shame on us.

Sincerely,

Adcom
 
*Ahem*

DreamDoctor,

No, not "Dear DreamDoctor." You are not only not dear to us, you are a laughingstock in our superior community. We rejected your application upon receipt. We had you submit your secondary only as a result of our desire to collect an obsene amount of money from your already empty pockets.

Your application smelled funny. We recognize the fact that we printed it on our own office paper, but we feel that the smell is a result of the offensive idea that you were in the same league as us. The Harvard applications smelled like roses, Johns Hopkins like spiced cider... The insinuation that your private Christian education provided you with little more than a sad seat in a lonely room for four years is a vile joke.

While we do not wish ill on any of our applicants (after all, we do want you to reapply next year - your application fees are very helpful in purchasing liquor for our faculty Christmas party), we do wish that you attempt to better yourself and your application in some way this upcoming year... Perhaps by taking a bath.

Warmly,

Dean of Admissions

P.S. Please take your application into the bath with you. Some lavender and chamomile would do it a world of good.
 
Dear Sicko,
Sorry dude, we can't offer you admission. Thanks for your money, anyway.
But We've got good news. We just saved a bunch of money on our car insurance by switching to GEICO!
Sincerely,
Adcom
 
sicko said:
Dear Sicko,
Sorry dude, we can't offer you admission. Thanks for your money, anyway.
But We've got good news. We just saved a bunch of money on our car insurance by switching to GEICO!
Sincerely,
Adcom
Click to expand...


brilliant. just brilliant.

Dear Phenol312,

This is what we think of you.
119731637286nv2.gif


You fail

Hugs and Kisses,
The Adcoms.
 
Dear lacrosse,

We had so many well qualified applicants this year to choose from, but we did not choose you. Next year, if you do x, y and z, you will be guaranteed to get in.

Am I the admissions guru, you ask? No. But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Sincerely,
Adcom
 
Ugh, Phenol... now I won't be able to watch Scrubs w/o watching JD's eyes...
 
Dear Mace,

AMCAS Application Fee: $30. Secondary Application Fee: $90. Imagining your tears or sarrow from reading this rejection letter: priceless.

Cheers,
Admissions
 
Dear Late Applicant,
Unfortunately we could not accept you into this year's class. Since you are a late applicant we thought we'd give you some insight into our decision. Often student's believe that it is the timing of their application that caused their rejection, but for you this is definitely not the case. To prove it to you, we resubmitted your application for next year. It was the first in line. We then used our time machine to travel one year into the future, retrieved your forthcoming rejection letter, and enclosed it for your convenience.

Sincerely,
Adcom

P.S. You owe us $1,000,130. ($130 for next year's primary and secondary fees and 1 million for the time machine usage.)
 
Picklesali said:
Dear Late Applicant,
Unfortunately we could not accept you into this year's class. Since you are a late applicant we thought we'd give you some insight into our decision. Often student's believe that it is the timing of their application that caused their rejection, but for you this is definitely not the case. To prove it to you, we resubmitted your application for next year. It was the first in line. We then used our time machine to travel one year into the future, retrieved your forthcoming rejection letter, and enclosed it for your convenience.

Sincerely,
Adcom

P.S. You owe us $1,000,130. ($130 for next year's primary and secondary fees and 1 million for the time machine usage.)
Click to expand...

😆
clever...
 
Dear Student,

I have some great news! Well unfortunately you didn't get into our school...but I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance with Geico.
 
Dear Jay,

Rudy didn't belong on the football field, too small.
You don't belong in medicine, too dumb.

Go back to Holy Cross, maybe it'll happen next season.

Adcom
 
Dear midn,

We regret to inform you that we cannot offer you seat in the 2008 class at this time. Unfortunately, the medical school application process is a subjective one, and you simply got screwed.

Due to the large variety of interviewers you can get, there is a difference in what each interviewer will perceive of you. Thus, if you get an interviewer that is combative and intentionally hostile towards your answers, you can be sure that you will have a less favorable experience than someone with an interviewer who is more accepting of your answers. Despite what your pre-med friends might have told you, the quality of the interview is just as much dependent on the interviewer as the interviewee. We attempt to screen out potentially bad interviewers, but we cannot control what the interviewer actually does. You may think that the interviewer will treat each interviewee consistently, but the truth of the matter is that the interviewer is human and can become just as tired and irritable as the interview day proceeds.

The fact of the matter is that some persons will simply get into our school because of a favorable interview with a favorable interviewer. Numbers, ECs, etc. do play a role, but frankly, at this point in the game, we'd rather look at something fresh like an interviewer's critique. Although we know that you can only present your character as much as the interviewer allows, we would like to believe that the effort was based all on your part.

So in sum, though you you maybe just as capable as a the people we did accept, we cannot justify accepting you since you failed the interview process and thus are not very lucky. The force is not with you. We cannot have force-less doctors at our institution.

Sincerely,
We're-too-good-for-you Medical School (WTGFYMS)
 
Dear choo301,

We do NOT support your war of terror. Please take us off your AMCAS list. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Admissions Committee
University of _________


P.S. Yes, you are thoroughly rejected. We are enclosing a photo of your application. Note the scorch marks where the dean of admission's cigar fell out of his mouth as a result of laughing so hard.
 
Dear ____________

You are part of a huge unqualified crowd that we had to cut down trees for. Please save the environment by going to a field you can actually make it.

Admissions

(the bottom page has ink from the top page because they folded too fast since they have thousands of rejection letters to mail)
 
choo301 said:
Dear choo301,

We do NOT support your war of terror. Please take us off your AMCAS list. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Admissions Committee
University of _________


P.S. Yes, you are thoroughly rejected. We are enclosing a photo of your application. Note the scorch marks where the dean of admission's cigar fell out of his mouth as a result of laughing so hard.
Click to expand...

:laugh:
 
Dear paradocs,

We didn't realize we accepted joke applications but thanks for the attempt. It worked. We laughed. Hard. It was also much appreciated. $95 and a good laugh is a great combination.

Ad. Com.
 
Dear Applicant,

Not only are you rejected, but so are your future offspring.

Good luck with your future endeavors,

Adcom
 
Dear Applicant,

Enclosed is your application fee. Let's pretend this never happened.

Ad. com
 
flaahless said:
Haha... if only I could blush. 😍
Click to expand...
Flaahless, has anyone ever mentioned you look exactly like OJ Mayo? Can you ball like he can? If so, you are wasting your time with medicine. Millions of dollars are waiting for you.
 
Whenever I get rejection letters I just go straight to the point. I don't read any of it. I just look for the word "unfortunately" or "regret."


So this is what my letter looks like.

Dear badasshairday.

blah blah blah. Unfortunately blah blah blah.

Sincerely,
blah
 
Sora,

images


-Adcom
 
Dear Piyush,

Too bad, very sad, come again, bye for now

ADCOM.

PS: hear the story about the spider that kept trying...you get the point don't you?
 
Dear Kastle-
We are kindly informing you that we could not offer you a spot in our class, but thanks for the laugh!

Sincerely,
ADCOM

p.s. go jump off a cliff
 
Dear Meshuga3,

Wow, this is, um... this is really hard. Um. Yeah, you know, it's just we like you, um... we like you, but we don't like you like you, you know? It's just, it's just not going to work out. Sorry.

Now get out of here before we call the cops.

Adcom.
 
Dendrite said:
Dear Applicant,

Enclosed is your application fee. Let's pretend this never happened.

Ad. com
Click to expand...
If only they refunded our secondary fee. That would be awesome! 👍
 
*NAME GOES HERE (and nothing fancy, just first and last)*

Did we like you?

[] YES [X] NO [] MAYBE

*SCHOOL NAME GOES HERE*
 
Dear Cguy,

We've taken the liberty to send your application materials to the Walmart across the street from us, which is now hiring. We think you'd be a better fit there.

Sincerely,
Adcom Pwnage
 
Via E-mail

NoUse4aName,

Why? I mean, really, just why?
*$%^ off.

Adcoms

P.S. We sent it by e-mail to save on postage, ink and paper. After seeing your application, we figured you might be too dumb to figure that out on your own, so it was specially amended to our standard rejection just for you.
 
Dear ____ ,

Thanks for visiting with us on your interview day. You were actually rejected pre-interview, but we thought it would be fun to show you what you'll be missing.

xoxo,
adcom
 
Dear Piyush

Thankyou for applying to your program at -school name- School of Medicine. We appreciate your interest in our school, however we regret to inform you that we will not be able to make a decision in your favor. Hm..thats a bit of a lie. We record all the adcom meetings on tape and send those vids to America's Funniest Videos, America's funniest home videos, and other similar TV shows....

We are delighted to inform you that in the upcoming episode of -one of the TV shows-, you might be able to see the adcoms laugh their a%^ off while reviewing your application, and applicants like you can win upto a hundred dollars for each of the videos that air on TV. Also, I am pleased to informed you that in the past, such videos have often won the thousand and tenthousand dollar prizes from these TV shows.

While we regret not accepting you, we hope that you will be happy to see us roll on the floor, laughing out of our minds while reviewing your application.

Regretfully and hysterically delighted,
ADCOM
-name of School-
 
Dear andrewmlt,

Congratulations! We are excited to inform you that you have been accepted for our medical school class of 2008! Pause... Pause... Pause... NOTTTTT!

Sincerely,
Dr. Borat Sagdiyev
Dean of Adcom
 
Dear applicant,

Enclosed you will find a CD with a recording of Nelson from The Simpsons laughing. He is laughing at your application.

-Adcom
 
Dear doinmybest,

We regret to inform you that we cannot accept you into the class of 2012. No, seriously. This isn't one of those BS letters from Harvard where they don't care. We wanted to accept you, but you're so much better than everyone else we've been accepting that you'd make everyone feel inferior. Rest assured that you will get into a better school (my brother is the Dean of X School of Medicine, I've pulled strings for you. You didn't hear it from me).

Sincerely,
Adcom
 
Dear Applicant,
We regret to inform you that we cannot accept you into this year's class. We really did like you, a lot actually. It turns out, however, that while you had a great GPA, MCAT, and ec's, you got a B in Organic Chemistry. We read on a premed forum that this precludes acceptance into medical school, and were forced to reject you. You know what they say, if it's on the internet...[say it with me] IT MUST BE TRUE!

Happy Holidays,
Med SCHOOLED!
 
Picklesali said:
Dear Applicant,
We regret to inform you that we cannot accept you into this year's class. We really did like you, a lot actually. It turns out, however, that while you had a great GPA, MCAT, and ec's, you got a B in Organic Chemistry. We read on a premed forum that this precludes acceptance into medical school, and were forced to reject you. You know what they say, if it's on the internet...[say it with me] IT MUST BE TRUE!

Happy Holidays,
Med SCHOOLED!
Click to expand...

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
 
Dear Borat,
Congratulations!
Not!
Sincerely,
Adcom

Never mind, andrewmlt already posted this letter. Not funny anymore.
 
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