supershorty
Don't look so vexed, toots.
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The room is dark.
A single bare light bulb sways gently overhead. Somewhere in the distance, someone is definitely cooking garlic. The air is thick with cigar smoke and an alarming amount of goat hair.
A weathered hoof slides a manila envelope across a scarred oak table.
Ey. You didn't get dis from me.
You open it. Inside, a single sheet of paper.
Listen to me, capisce?
There's been ... misunderstandings in the pasture. Goats disappearin'. Hay shipments goin' missin'. Somebody's been skimmin' from da salt lick. Families ain't talkin' to each uddah no more.
It's bad for business.
We need some respectable goats. Or at least goats who can convincingly pretend to be respectable for tWWenty-four hours at a time.
Can you keep your mout' shut?
Can you look a goat in the eyes while votin' to throw him into a wood chippah?
Den maybe... maybe you got what it takes.
You know what dis operation's got?
The old goat lights another cigar.
All of the chaos of a goat.
He takes a long puff.
None of the electric fence control.
A pause.
Somewhere outside, a loud crash, followed by several panicked bleats and what sounds suspiciously like a small explosion.
The old goat nods approvingly.
Like dat.
One more ting.
If anybody asks ... you neva' saw me.
The light bulb flickers. The envelope catches on fire.
DEETS
Cycle timing: 24/24. Approximately. Time is a social construct and the Family waits for no goat. However, goats may wait for the Family to post write-ups depending on how bedtime is going and flight delays.
Mechanics: Trending toward the side of basics but with a twist here and there that keeps it from actually being basics. If you think you've figured something out, you probably haven't. If you have figured something out ... keep it to yourself, huh?
Your Dons: myself, @HRH Queeb SAR, and @kaydubs
Flavor: Contains organized crime, disorganized crime, suspiciously organized goats, suspiciously disorganized goats, and enough goat puns to violate several international treaties
Dress Code: Pinstripe suits encouraged. Tiny fedoras optional but highly respected. Cement hoofwear discouraged.
Liability Waiver: The GGoat Crime Families accept no responsibility for any of the following: mysteriously disappearing alibis, concrete-filled feed buckets, waking up wearing horse shoes, finding hay in places hay should never be, unsolicited offers you can't refuse, any emotional attachment to goats who may or may not survive. Should you encounter a goat named Vinny, Tony, Joey, Paulie, Frankie, Big Lou, Little Lou, Tiny Tony, or Cousin Sal, please act natural. Failure to act natural may result in becoming fertilizer.
Code of Conduct: The Family will not be toleratin' any bad behavior, capisce? See below for THE ONLY WARNING YOU WILL RECEIVE. Associates not abiding by rule numba 1 will be disappeared and may face restrictions in participating in future Family reunions.
A single bare light bulb sways gently overhead. Somewhere in the distance, someone is definitely cooking garlic. The air is thick with cigar smoke and an alarming amount of goat hair.
A weathered hoof slides a manila envelope across a scarred oak table.
Ey. You didn't get dis from me.
You open it. Inside, a single sheet of paper.
Listen to me, capisce?
There's been ... misunderstandings in the pasture. Goats disappearin'. Hay shipments goin' missin'. Somebody's been skimmin' from da salt lick. Families ain't talkin' to each uddah no more.
It's bad for business.
We need some respectable goats. Or at least goats who can convincingly pretend to be respectable for tWWenty-four hours at a time.
Can you keep your mout' shut?
Can you look a goat in the eyes while votin' to throw him into a wood chippah?
Den maybe... maybe you got what it takes.
You know what dis operation's got?
The old goat lights another cigar.
All of the chaos of a goat.
He takes a long puff.
None of the electric fence control.
A pause.
Somewhere outside, a loud crash, followed by several panicked bleats and what sounds suspiciously like a small explosion.
The old goat nods approvingly.
Like dat.
One more ting.
If anybody asks ... you neva' saw me.
The light bulb flickers. The envelope catches on fire.
DEETS
Cycle timing: 24/24. Approximately. Time is a social construct and the Family waits for no goat. However, goats may wait for the Family to post write-ups depending on how bedtime is going and flight delays.
Mechanics: Trending toward the side of basics but with a twist here and there that keeps it from actually being basics. If you think you've figured something out, you probably haven't. If you have figured something out ... keep it to yourself, huh?
Your Dons: myself, @HRH Queeb SAR, and @kaydubs
Flavor: Contains organized crime, disorganized crime, suspiciously organized goats, suspiciously disorganized goats, and enough goat puns to violate several international treaties
Dress Code: Pinstripe suits encouraged. Tiny fedoras optional but highly respected. Cement hoofwear discouraged.
Liability Waiver: The GGoat Crime Families accept no responsibility for any of the following: mysteriously disappearing alibis, concrete-filled feed buckets, waking up wearing horse shoes, finding hay in places hay should never be, unsolicited offers you can't refuse, any emotional attachment to goats who may or may not survive. Should you encounter a goat named Vinny, Tony, Joey, Paulie, Frankie, Big Lou, Little Lou, Tiny Tony, or Cousin Sal, please act natural. Failure to act natural may result in becoming fertilizer.
Code of Conduct: The Family will not be toleratin' any bad behavior, capisce? See below for THE ONLY WARNING YOU WILL RECEIVE. Associates not abiding by rule numba 1 will be disappeared and may face restrictions in participating in future Family reunions.
Associates (players):
1. rae
2.
3.
etc.
Made Goats (subs)
1.
2.
etc.
Witness Protection (tots):
1.
2.
3.
etc.
We'll run with whatever numbers we get, but the Family is always lookin' for fresh ... talent. Or scapegoats. Mostly scapegoats.
Now quit standin' in da doorway. You're lettin' da smoke out.
