Dr. ClinPsy, ...I need some...clarification? advice? suggestions? *REALLY LOST* (REALLY sincere apologies for the length)
I asked one of my professors for a letter (for grad school). She is a professor with whom, last summer, I worked with under a prestigious grant and during that summer won a very prestigious research scholarship.
She responded to me saying she was very busy with grants and had to write letters for other students, but she said that I ought to ask other people as I had "so much research experience".
I went to talk to her, because I was VERY shocked that she'd say such a thing. When I went to talk to her, she clarified. She said, she didn't mean to sound so mean but she said that "S, your research experience is beyond that of the average undergraduate, I think my letter wouldn't be able to attest to the potential you have, and the skills you have" She suggested I get a letter from the professor I got scooped with and from a different prof with who I'm writing a first authored paper with. But anyway, she said then She would be able to write me a wonderful letter...if I needed it...
Except you see, that professor the one I got scooped with - her husband is sick and I feel awful to ask her to do such a thing, she's really stressed and she's become quite..uh...confused to put it nicely. I'm worried she'll forget AND her grad student said that she (the prof) forgot to submit stuff for funding and forgot to grade some other student's work (so my concern is justified I think).
I have other people to ask, but the prof who I originally asked, I worked for like 12 hrs (by choice) a day, I worked 12 hrs a day everyday (except wkds) for 4 mo. I put in so many hrs, I put in so much time, I did everything, and went above what was required... I'm mad. Should I even bother to get a letter?
I asked the prof with whom I have a first-authored pub to write me a letter, and he said yes right away. I briefly mentioned the incident with the original prof, and he said: you got a bit jilted because you're too experienced.
So now:
How common is it to be damned by "too much experience"?
I really really feel uncomfortable asking the prof who has a sick husband ...so how do I explain that to the prof who I originally asked? It's that profs business that her husband is sick and I don't want to go blabbing it...
Is it even worth it to explain to the prof I originally asked, is it even worth it to get a letter from her?
🙁