Another ? for married couples

[blkshrtdynasty]

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In which one person is a med student:

My wife and I have been living together for the three years since we graduated college. This past spring, I decided to apply to med school for the first time. Currently attending and setting up interviews to a bunch of schools.

She's currently in school working toward a masters in counseling degree, and working full time. We narrowed down the list of schools where I'm looking to interview together, so we're off to at least a start. We see the merits of staying in state (close to family, friends, etc) and the benefits of booking it out of state. She's checking out credit tranfers, etc for her program at each university.

Has anyone gone through this process while married? This is very much a "we" decision, but not sure if anyone has employed certain strategies or thought processes to help determine which school/city to attend. It'd be much easier if I were the only one affected by my decision.

TIA

 

[sirenomelia]

Get in the best school you can get into-----> get best residency you can get-----> increase job options- including geographic preferences.
Whereever you go there should be some counseling related school/thing she can do

 

[nysw]

Going through process right now as practically married.
I only applied IS because both of our families are here and we're both comfortable with the city that we live in. All of the IS schools that I chose to interview at were 3 hours away in relatively large cities with a medical center that allowed my fiance to industry switch into basic research.
Cost of living is also an issue as well.
But when it comes down to it, I'm going to pick the school that works best with both of our interests. Best school in an area that my SO is comfortable finding a job/reestablishing in.

We're putting off seriously discussing it until I have acceptances in hand, but we both know that there's a huge possibility that we might be moving. It's really good that both of you are planning ahead and accepting this as a possibility.

It's not as easy as just going to whatever school you want to. Each step is going to involve a few sacrifices on both of your parts. I'm sure you already knew this though. Best of luck to you!

 

[Geekchick921]

My husband and I have been married for 3 1/2 years, and together for almost 11. We wanted to stay in the Philadelphia area but we were open to the idea of moving somewhere else along the East coast if we had to. We have a daughter (and a son, now) and we wanted to stay in the Philadelphia area to stay close to my family for her sake. He had also been looking for a better job for over a year and he finally got one a few weeks before I took the MCAT (which has been VERY good to him for the last 18 months). When he got the job we decided if I did well enough on the MCAT, I would only apply to the schools in Philadelphia. Thankfully, I did, and was accepted to two of the schools I applied to.

I know that's not ideal or recommended, and had we not had so many reasons to stay near our hometown, I think I would have liked the opportunity to live in another city for awhile. We are lucky there are so many schools in our area. You are right that it would be easier to make these decisions when you're only concerned about yourself. I know I could have ended up as a reapplicant this year, but my husband carries us financially right now, and we didn't want to take our daughter away from her grandmom and her aunt, so we had to factor what was best for all of us into my school decisions.

 

[Cinclus]

My SO's coming with me wherever I end up going, though we've discussed which locations would be the best for us and for him to find work, etc. I didn't apply to several schools that are located where I know he absolutely doesn't want to go. We're both OK with the locations of all that I've applied to.

 

[mrwesticles]

The best part of your post was that you are planning for it to be a joint decision.

Even if your partner ends up moving for you and just looking for a job wherever they end up, as long as it was a joint decision you should be able to avoid resentment, which is no good.

 

[LifeTake2]

Married almost 14 years.

We discussed basics on where we would NOT go (West Coast, New England).
Then I made a list of schools where I thought I stood a chance.
She removed the ones she didn't like the area or couldn't find work easily
I applied to the ones we liked the most.

Once I started getting interviews, we went through together and ranked them 1...19; got into #3 on list so have dropped most of the rest at this point.

 

[Geekchick921]

Married almost 14 years.

We discussed basics on where we would NOT go (West Coast, New England).
Then I made a list of schools where I thought I stood a chance.
She removed the ones she didn't like the area or couldn't find work easily
I applied to the ones we liked the most.

Once I started getting interviews, we went through together and ranked them 1...19; got into #3 on list so have dropped most of the rest at this point.

Congrats!

 

[notbobtrustme]

My wife's going to deal with it. Simple as that. 🙂

 

[misseskwee]

My wife's going to deal with it. Simple as that. 🙂

This. 👍

 

[jessiemsy]

Yes. I have been here. I was very lucky in that my top choice school was in my city where we both wanted to stay. But of course the problem was, what I if I don't get in there. My plan was work my ass off during post bac, get a 4.0 and an amazing mcat score so. I assume you already have years of work experience and that will help you. Make it impossible that your in state school wouldn't want you. Yea yea easier said than done. But it worked for me. I'm very happy that my getting into med school will not be setting my husband back in his career although I know if he had had to he would have moved.

 

[shadowkat]

Follow-up question for all: Would you ever consider moving to a state that doesn't recognize your marriage? Or, for those of you who are in long-term relationships, to states where you can't get married?

 

[Morsetlis]

I hope your wife becomes a sugar mamma for you after she finishes school 😛

 

[Nakita]

.

 

[fri727]

My husband and I have been married for 3 years (married right after I graduated high school) and he is still in school. He is incredibly supportive and is good to go wherever I choose. He is a business major, so that's offered everywhere. I've got it narrowed down to a few schools and he is checking into their programs now. Good luck to both of you!

 

[Nahla]

My wife's going to deal with it. Simple as that. 🙂

This. 👍

And, this is why physicians/surgeons have a high divorce rate.

Thanks for sharing everyone. I'll have to go through this decision process with my partner in a couple of years.