One day, two Catholic priests came into our office (they were wearing their priest outfits with the little white square on the collar). Within seconds of stepping inside to pick up their glasses, Madonna's Like a Virgin comes on the radio. I stood there trying not to laugh. After I left, I asked the optometrist if he noticed what was on the radio? He started laughing and responded "he's the father at my church too!"
I had one girl who had an eye turn and she had difficulty dealing with other children and well, dealing with complete strangers as well as being a bit slow due to her eye turn (oh, btw, this info I learned after she left). She was 5 so I wasn't sure if she had learned her ABCs to test her on the Snellen chart. So I kindly asked her "do you know your ABCs?" She yells at me "OF COURSE! Duh!" Her father was in the room and he said (I don't remember her name, but let's pretend it was Lisa) "Lisa, be polite. He's only asking questions." I responded to her father this time "I just wanted to know because the test is in ABCs." So then I start testing her and things are going pretty well. As I uncover smaller and smaller lines I gave her compliments just to gain her trust. Well, I screwed up because I just wanted to remind her that the letters would be getting smaller but instead of saying that, I said "it's gonna get harder to read these letters."
Her response: "it's still ONLY letters. It's not harder. If you know your ABCs, then you shouldn't have any problems!!! It's NOT big long adult words!" In a really disgusting tone.
Only after I performed the pretest on her did I realize that it was my optometrist's niece and I discovered she had an eye turn. He normally let's me pretest any patient that spoke English unless it was a special patient. But when I saw the folder on the desk, I decided to pick it up and perform the pretest. And my doc told me that he was about to stop me because she was a special case but he decided it would be fun to watch me suffer. He knew she has an attitude problem.
That was the time I was belittled by a five year old girl.
Oh, and the best for last:
One day, this girl who was in her mid twenties came in and she was wearing a really really revealing top. It was really hot out and when she sat down, she bent over to put her purse on the side of the exam chair and um, her nippled popped out and half of it was exposed. I freaked the **** out because I was thinking "okay, I'm alone with her in the room and I'm going to fetch the doctor after I perform the pretest and what is he going to think when he comes in? Do I tell her? What if I tell her and she thinks I was looking?"
So I try to stay calm and hope that she discovers it on her own. All through the Snellen chart exam, I was trying my hardest not to look. And normally for that age, I don't perform the up close reading eye exam, but I was thinking that because you have to look down a bit to do it, she would discover her nipple on her own. So I decide to do it anyways (oh yeah, I'm a problem solver). BUT NO LUCK! Btw, this exam requires that you hold the chart for them and sit up close next to them and I had a very hard time not looking. I'm not going to lie, i probably looked the entire way through.
Finally, I'm done with the pretest and now I have to fetch the doctor. So I just say "um, I think you need to adjust your shirt." She looks down and adjusts it and goes "how long has that been sticking out?" I'm literally redfaced. I say "uh, just now." She replies "oh, wow, how embarrassing." I get the doctor and when he comes in, he asks her "how are things?" And she replies "could be better" and she shoots me a smile.
I'm just glad I didn't get one of those fun things. And by fun things, I mean erection.
